Humans are, by nature, fickle creatures. One moment they’re like this, the next they’re like that—it’s perfectly normal for hearts to waver and change. But still, isn’t this a bit much? Constantly thinking, “Maybe it’s fine like this,” and getting complacent! Isn’t that a serious problem? That’s what I’m saying.
Cha Jae-woo’s attitude hadn’t changed since then. No, it had actually gotten even sweeter. …Hmm. Does it sound weird if I put it that way? But there was really no other way to describe it. It was so sweet that it felt like I could just melt away. It wasn’t like he went out of his way to treat me better, but his gaze had definitely changed. As if there had never been a time when he used to look at me like a freezing wind blowing right through.
And so, my attitude toward Cha Jae-woo also changed. Before, I used to get embarrassed secretly. Now, I got embarrassed right out in the open. But honestly, how could I not?
“Haa…”
Dragging my feet, I rubbed my face aimlessly with my hand. I had just arrived home from school. I had packed a lot of things, thinking I should prepare for the upcoming exams, so my bag was heavy. Maybe that’s why—even my legs felt a bit heavy… No, truthfully, it was because I was scared to step inside. How much would my heart race today? I was already anxious. These days, I was practically living under the constant threat of a heart attack.
“……”
Originally, Cha Jae-woo never bothered to tell me when he was going out. There was no reason for him to. Because of that, our Guiding sessions were always unpredictable. Sometimes early in the morning, sometimes after he came back from somewhere. Sometimes, he even woke me up in the middle of sleeping. Honestly, you could say he was almost completely inconsiderate.
But lately, if he had to go out, Cha Jae-woo always made sure to tell me. Even mentioning roughly when he expected to be back. Thanks to that, I knew he was home right now.
It was nice but awkward, unpleasant yet not exactly unpleasant. Amid those ambiguous feelings, I dragged my heavy steps forward. It wasn’t like I didn’t want to see him. Strictly speaking, I leaned more toward wanting to see him. I just didn’t like the way my body reacted because of it.
Cha Jae-woo had probably known I’d arrived long ago. His hearing was ridiculously sharp. So standing here hesitating was just stupid.
Soon, I found myself standing in front of the door. Trying to act like it was nothing, I reached out to fling the door open. But my phone, buried in my pocket, had been buzzing nonstop for a while now, so I decided to check it first.
The vibration was so relentless that I thought it might be a phone call, but the source of the buzzing turned out to be the group chat. Jo Ha-eon and Park Yeon-ho had, for the first time in a while, gone absolutely nuts.
“Ah, fuck…”
I completely forgot about opening the door and started scrolling through their conversation. Normally, I would skim it and ignore it, but I couldn’t this time because I was the subject.
[Park Yeon-ho: Our Tto-yul… you’re not dead, right?]
[Park Yeon-ho: If you’re alive, can you answer?]
[Jo Ha-eon: This little shit, seriously, lol]
[Jo Ha-eon: Acting all high and mighty now? Your hyungs are trying to talk to you, and you’re ignoring them?]
To sum it up, they were bitching about how I wasn’t participating in the chat. But why was it always me they picked on? Kim Geon-ung didn’t bother with the group chat much either. And it’s not like this was anything new. It had always been just Jo Ha-eon and Park Yeon-ho shooting the shit in that chatroom anyway. It was ridiculous to act like it was some kind of new development.
[Kim Geon-ung: He’s been super busy lately, doing his own thing.]
“What the hell is he talking about, crazy bastard.”
I figured they’d get tired of it soon enough, and I was about to just say I’d been busy and leave it at that. But then, Kim Geon-ung, who was no different from me when it came to ignoring the chat, suddenly butted in. He basically threw me to the wolves like I was a piece of meat for the starving dogs.
[Park Yeon-ho: What’s he so busy with?]
[Jo Ha-eon: Hey, Tto-yul. Are you dating?]
[Jo Ha-eon: I’m being dead serious right now.]
[Jo Ha-eon: Did someone finally decide to take you in?]
[Park Yeon-ho: Someone actually managed to put up with Tto-yul?!]
[Kim Geon-ung: LOLLLLLL]
“Haa…”
These guys were hopeless. Give them the slightest opportunity and they’d cause a scene. They were weirdly obsessed with my love life. I could more or less guess the reason. I was the only one among us who had never had a single romantic relationship by the time we turned twenty-three.
Just imagining what would happen if I actually got a girlfriend someday made my skin crawl. I still remembered it vividly—back when I was around twenty and mentioned going on a blind date, the group chat almost exploded.
They bombarded me with useless advice like what to wear, how to talk, and even some dramatic crap about not being able to lose their “precious Tto-yul.” The memory was still so fresh that it was exhausting just thinking about it.
In the end, the blind date never even happened, and there hadn’t been any opportunities since. But if a chance ever came up again, I was determined—I would never tell them.
[Don’t pay attention to me.]
I replied half-heartedly without even trying to fix the scowl on my face.
[Park Yeon-ho: OHHHHHHH~~~ Looks like Tto-yul really has something going on~~~~~]
[Jo Ha-eon: OHHHHHH~ Look at him pretending!]
[Park Yeon-ho: LOLLLLLL don’t bully the kid]
[Jo Ha-eon: It’s fine, it’s fine, just pat him on the head]
…If anything, I had just fueled their excitement even more.
[Whether I do or not, what the hell does it matter, fuck]
[Jo Ha-eon: What are you talking about;; We have to see for ourselves;; If you don’t, it’s life or death for us;;]
[Why would I report to you?]
[Jo Ha-eon: Because I raised Tto-yul with my heart…]
[Kim Geon-ung: Why is this so sentimental LOLLLLLL]
[Jo Ha-eon: Jo Tto-yul… my son…]
[Park Yeon-ho: LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL]
“Good grief.”
I furrowed my brow, then ended up bursting into laughter. It wasn’t because it was funny—more because it was just so ridiculous. The group chat kept moving at a breakneck pace. Most of it was nonsense, and I skimmed through it while finally opening the front door.
I had been weighed down by all kinds of worries, but reading their stupid banter had made me forget about it for a little while.
[Jo Ha-eon: Booze booze booze booze booze booze booze~~~~~~~~~~~~~~]
[Jo Ha-eon: BOOZE!!!]
[Jo Ha-eon: Everyone gather up~!~!]
[What’s up with that guy’s energy?]
[Feels like he’s already drunk.]
[Park Yeon-ho: Did he get dumped?]
[Park Yeon-ho: He said he had a blind date recently.]
[Wait, what? Jo Ha-eon went on a blind date? Why didn’t he tell us?]
[Jo Ha-eon: Jo Tto-yul, you ungrateful bastard. You don’t treasure your father at all.]
[lol]
[Kim Geon-ung: He got dumped.]
[Park Yeon-ho: For real. He totally got dumped.]
[Jo Ha-eon: BOOZE!!!!]
By now, a snicker escaped me. No wonder he was so hyper today. The irritation I had felt earlier when they were teasing me completely vanished in an instant. I grabbed my phone properly, ready to start teasing him back in earnest.
“Not even paying attention.”
“Uwah!”
“Didn’t even realize someone was there, huh?”
But even though I had finally found my chance, I couldn’t type anything into the group chat. Standing right there in front of the door—where I usually never ran into him—was Cha Jae-woo, speaking to me directly.
I hadn’t even imagined he would be there, so I was genuinely startled. Although, maybe screaming was a bit much… As my pounding heart settled down, the embarrassment quickly caught up with me.
“S-Sorry. I didn’t notice you.”
“What was so fun that you didn’t even notice someone standing there?”
I awkwardly scratched the back of my neck. Seriously, how could I not have noticed him? Or maybe it made sense. Unlike before, when I could sense his energy the moment he got near, that aura was completely gone now.
Thanks to Cha Jae-woo’s condition improving drastically, I now had to physically touch him to check on his state. It was a good sign, but right now, it left me feeling awkward.
“It wasn’t anything that fun… I just got caught up reading something.”
“Doesn’t look like it. Your mouth was about to split open from smiling.”
His blunt retort made me press my lips together in embarrassment.
“It’s just… some dumb conversation was funny. I was reading that.”
“Who was it?”
“Friends.”
“Which friends?”
It had been a while since Cha Jae-woo started asking these kinds of trivial questions, but I still hadn’t gotten used to it. Not because it was uncomfortable—on the contrary, it felt so good that it became a problem. I liked that Cha Jae-woo was showing interest in me, and I liked it even more because his face now looked almost… jealous.
Ah, seriously, this was bad. At this rate, keeping my distance was absolutely impossible.
“Just some friends from high school. Oh, you saw them before. You know… at the beach.”
Since it was the day I had secretly run away to hang out, it felt awkward to bring it up, but I forced myself to speak casually. Fortunately, Cha Jae-woo didn’t bother bringing up the specifics of that day.
“Ah.”
“There’s this guy, Jo Ha-eon. I think he got dumped after a blind date. He’s been whining about drinking, and it was kind of funny.”
I spoke naturally, recounting what had happened, while turning on my phone to mute the group chat notifications that kept going off noisily. No matter how funny their conversation was, with Cha Jae-woo right in front of me, my attention wasn’t on them.
[Jo Ha-eon: Where the hell did Jo Tto-yul go?]
[Jo Ha-eon: I’m seriously leaving without you, dude.]
[Kim Geon-ung: Let’s just go. Just start heading out first.]
[Park Yeon-ho: Is this really okay? I’m kinda scared of Cha Jae-woo.]
[Kim Geon-ung: No way he’ll actually kill us, right?]
[Park Yeon-ho: There’s a reason people say “no way” ends up killing someone, you know.]
[Jo Ha-eon: Park Yeon-ho, you cowardly bastard.]
[Park Yeon-ho: You wanna die?]
[Jo Ha-eon: Leave him. Abandon the weak.]
[Kim Geon-ung: LOLLLLLL this guy’s totally lost it.]
[Jo Ha-eon: Let’s go! Just go! If we get kicked out, we’ll deal with it then!]
Instead of turning off the screen like I had planned, I froze up, staring at their reckless conversation. …Where the hell were they planning to go? Panicking, I started scrolling up to find out. Cha Jae-woo simply stood there, quietly watching me.
“Ah, fuck.”
And just like that, I completely forgot about his presence again.
[Kim Geon-ung: Should we have a drink at Tto-yul’s house?]
[Park Yeon-ho: Wait, Tto-yul’s at home, right? Isn’t that Cha Jae-woo’s place?]
[Kim Geon-ung: Exactly lol. Aren’t you curious?]
[Park Yeon-ho: Are you crazy? Do you even know who Cha Jae-woo is?]
[Jo Ha-eon: Yesssssss that’s a great idea]
[Park Yeon-ho: What the hell is great about this?!]
[Jo Ha-eon: Let’s invite Cha Jae-woo to drink with us too!]
[Jo Ha-eon: The more, the merrier!]
[Park Yeon-ho: ? What the hell kind of flow is this?]
“They’ve lost their damn minds…”
I could maybe understand Jo Ha-eon being like this, but what the hell was Kim Geon-ung thinking? No, they were all insane. Otherwise, how could they even consider coming here—to Cha Jae-woo’s house?!
“Why?”
Cha Jae-woo tilted his head slightly, watching me flail in confusion. What should I do first—explain the situation to him, or stop those idiots? I needed to decide quickly.
But there was no need for an explanation. Cha Jae-woo simply glanced down at my phone, casually scrolled through the chat, and then nodded, way too easily.
“Tell them to come.”
“…Excuse me?”
“I’m curious too.”
Cha Jae-woo flashed a broad grin. And somehow, that smile only made me feel even more uneasy. Was that a normal reaction to have?
