The book contained all the answers I had been seeking. I sank into my seat, pressing my hand against my pounding heart.
It was hard to accept. Cha Jae-woo loved me. That’s why he imprinted. The whole story seemed unbelievable.
Yet, everything I felt for Cha Jae-woo was detailed in this book. It was so accurate that it seemed like a fabrication, as if he had written down his symptoms just to deceive me.
It was an exaggerated thought. But I couldn’t think otherwise. At least, it was better than accepting that Cha Jae-woo loved me—or that he could die because of it.
The thought was overwhelming. I tried to convince myself it wasn’t true, but I couldn’t bear not knowing for sure.
I had seen Cha Jae-woo recently. His condition was far from good, and even then, I wondered why he was in such a state.
If this was the answer, what was his condition now? Even if he was fine now…
“…….”
I couldn’t focus on the book anymore. I was about to call Cha Jae-woo but stopped myself. I needed to confirm with Kim Sol first, whom I had just met.
—Hey, Haeyul.
The phone barely rang before Kim Sol answered, as if he had been waiting for the call.
“Is this true? Is it fake? Did someone make this book up?”
Suspicion came first.
Ever since becoming a Guide, there was no one around me I could trust. Even Kim Sol and Cha Jae-woo, whom I trusted the most, had used me. Trust was hard to come by.
—It’s not like that.
Kim Sol replied calmly, as if he had expected my reaction.
—No one believes this story. The book is based on just a few cases.
His following words were also prepared.
I bit my lower lip hard and let out a long sigh. I needed to stay calm, but my racing heart and quickening breath made it difficult.
“So, it’s not… certain?”
I asked, flipping through the book again. As Kim Sol said, there weren’t many precedents. Only three. The book was written based on those cases.
Compared to the average person, three was a small number, but among so many Espers, three was too low a percentage.
But…
—Yes.
“But it’s strange. Cha Jae-woo… he’s the same.”
It was hard to ignore the fact that all three had the same symptoms and the same fate.
Of course, it could be a rare disease that only affects Espers. This imprinting thing, maybe it’s not about loving a Guide but an unknown disease.
—I know.
Maybe I was just trying to avoid the truth. It was hard to believe it was just a disease when the symptoms involved sensing emotions and reading minds, and only with one specific Guide.
But the idea that the absence of that Guide caused more suffering and the inability to be guided by another… it was incomprehensible.
—Cha Jae-woo knows too.
“Cha Jae-woo knows?”
—Yes. I told him about the book a while ago.
“When?”
—About a month ago…?
It was strange. If it had been a month, Cha Jae-woo would have known the reason when I visited his house. Regardless of whether it was true or not.
But why didn’t he say anything?
At that time, Cha Jae-woo could have told me. He could have said that he seemed to have imprinted. That’s why his waves were distorting so quickly, and he was suffering.
“Cha Jae-woo didn’t say anything.”
If he needed guiding, wouldn’t it have been better to explain the situation, even if it wasn’t certain? Cha Jae-woo knows me well. If he wanted to use me, he could have. But now he’s keeping quiet, which makes me wonder if this isn’t the truth.
—Maybe he just thought he didn’t need to say anything.
Kim Sol’s nonchalant response only fueled the fire burning within me. I forgot I was in the library and shouted into the phone.
“How could he think he didn’t need to say anything!”
He should have told me and held onto me. Because it’s Cha Jae-woo. He would do anything for guiding…
—You easily sympathize with others.
“What do you mean?”
—You can’t ignore it and would rush to help.
“That’s exactly why he should have told me.”
—Then it would be like calling you out of necessity. In the end, it would just hurt you again.
I couldn’t understand what he was saying. My insides were burning, and my heart was racing.
I started moving towards the exit of the center. I didn’t think about where I was going, but my body moved as if it knew.
“He wasn’t the type to care about such things. If he was dying, why would he care about that? That’s ridiculous. He didn’t tell me because he was worried I’d sympathize and get hurt again? Cha Jae-woo?”
As I spoke, my voice grew cold. Kim Sol listened silently to my stiff tone and let out a small sigh. I had just stepped out of the center.
—Now he’ll be used.
I wanted to ask what he meant, but the words wouldn’t come out. Instead of saying more, I just hung up the phone.
I looked around aimlessly. The car that had been following me since I visited Cha Jae-woo’s house at the driver’s request was gone. I didn’t know why, and I didn’t care to find out.
“Damn it…”
But maybe I should have. If I had known I would need the driver, I would have kept the car around.
No matter how much I looked around, I couldn’t see the familiar car. I struggled to move my trembling fingers to find the driver’s number. Luckily, I still had it saved.
—Guide?
Just like Kim Sol, the driver answered quickly, as if he had been waiting for my call. I didn’t have time to consider his surprise.
“Where are you?”
—What?
I didn’t have time for pleasantries.
“Where is Cha Jae-woo? Is he at home?”
The pain in my paper-cut finger intensified. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, unsure of what to do.
Honestly, there was no urgent reason to see Cha Jae-woo. Was I afraid he might die? Was that why I was so anxious?
—Sir… Esper is at the gate…
“The gate?!”
It was an absurd thought. Why would I care what happened to him?
No, that’s not true. Cha Jae-woo had an impact on me. I didn’t want him to die. Just like anyone else, I cared about him.
“Why is he at the gate? Why!”
—After you visited, sir, his condition improved…
“His condition improved?”
—Yes, he said he was fine.
My neck stiffened.
It was a lie. Even though I hadn’t seen him, I knew it was a lie. I immediately hailed a nearby taxi.
A whirlwind of emotions—concern, anxiety—overwhelmed me.
He couldn’t have been fine. When I saw him, I hadn’t fully stabilized him. In that state, he should have been getting worse, even if he was just resting. But I thought he would receive guiding from someone else. I never imagined he would go to the gate.
“Where is the gate? Where did it appear?”
My words rushed out as quickly as my thoughts. The driver seemed to sense the urgency and quickly started the car. I told him the location and urged him to hurry. The taxi sped off.
—But actually…
The driver’s voice, still on the phone, was filled with anxiety.
—He went in last night, but he hasn’t come out yet.
“What?”
—He said he could handle it alone and told us not to let anyone else in…
“Are you crazy?!”
He was crazy. How could anyone believe that? Did they all really think Cha Jae-woo was fine?
Regardless, if he went in alone and hasn’t come out yet, shouldn’t someone go in and check? They’ve left him in there for hours, right? Even if it’s Cha Jae-woo, that’s not acceptable.
—I heard it’s a Class A gate or higher.
A Class A gate or higher. Meaning, any Esper below Class A is useless there.
I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath. It wasn’t surprising. Once a gate’s rank is determined, Espers below that rank don’t enter. They can’t be of any help.
It’s more efficient for only Espers of the appropriate rank to enter. Cha Jae-woo often cleared gates alone, so this wasn’t unusual. That’s why no one thought it was strange.
Actually, there was no reason for me to be so surprised or shocked. But I couldn’t help it. A chilling premonition lingered, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that Cha Jae-woo wasn’t safe inside the gate.
“Sir, if we get a speeding ticket, I’ll pay for it. Please, go as fast as you can.”
I tried to calm myself as I spoke to the taxi driver. He glanced at me in the rearview mirror but said nothing and increased his speed.
The scenery rushed by, but it felt unusually slow today. My mind was racing, and I felt dizzy.
He’ll be fine, right?
Of course, he will. But why am I so anxious?
My finger throbbed. I looked at the cut for a moment before clenching my fist to hide it. It felt like a bad omen.
