“Anything….”
Honestly, no matter what answer came back, it wouldn’t make much of a difference. At this point, any attempt to care for me wouldn’t be welcome.
“Can I try?”
However, seeing Cha Jae-woo genuinely willing to try anything made me feel strange. Was it really that hard? A fleeting, useless worry crossed my mind and vanished.
‘Who’s worrying about whom?’
There was no need to worry. In fact, this might be for the best. Maybe I could see Cha Jae-woo struggle. Who knows how long it would last.
“If you don’t want to, we won’t.”
I chuckled at the pointless concern. His face looked so sincere that it made me laugh. He could have been a successful actor. A silly thought crossed my mind.
“What exactly are you planning to do?”
My tone was sharp, but I saw no need to soften it. The alcohol had worn off while facing Cha Jae-woo. As time passed, my mind became calmer.
What could he possibly do for me? How would he try to change my mind? Or rather, how would he try to deceive me this time?
It felt stupid to even consider giving him another chance, knowing it would only lead to more pain. But I was stubborn. Cha Jae-woo wouldn’t suffer because of me. But if he could at least feel uncomfortable or struggle, that would be enough.
“Well.”
Cha Jae-woo tilted his head. His lack of confidence was unlike him. If I hadn’t experienced him before, I might have fallen for it.
“I’ll show up first. To do anything, we need to meet.”
He continued calmly. For a moment, our eyes met, and his sparkled.
“What if I don’t want to?”
The question slipped out, almost as if expecting something. Simultaneously, Cha Jae-woo’s expression darkened.
Was it an illusion? Or was it what I wanted to see? Before I could resolve the doubt, Cha Jae-woo nodded.
“Then I’ll stay out of sight.”
“…….”
“And then…….”
His brow was slightly furrowed, as if deeply contemplating what to do next.
Part of me wanted to hear what he would say next, but another part wondered if it was better not to listen. Even if he was acting, could he really go this far? Was there a chance he was sincere?
This is ridiculous. How could I even think that? Self-blame began to creep in.
“Should I give you money…….”
“Do I look like I’m obsessed with money?”
I snapped at Cha Jae-woo’s muttered words.
My inability to stay firm, the possibility that Cha Jae-woo might genuinely be sorry, infuriated me. I lashed out at him because of it.
“Ah.”
Cha Jae-woo sighed softly, looking quite taken aback. I shook my head and looked away from him.
I couldn’t read his emotions. But expressions could be faked. So, it was easier not to look. At least, if I didn’t want to be swayed by Cha Jae-woo.
Of course, if that was the case, I shouldn’t have faced him at all…….
“I’ll find something I can do.”
Cha Jae-woo’s voice still lacked confidence.
I stubbornly kept my gaze fixed on the ground. Not seeing his face or sensing his presence made it easier. Even in that moment, I couldn’t sense his presence.
“……Do what you want.”
What if he releases his presence? Wouldn’t I be swayed immediately? My heart is easily shaken by a mere expression, so wouldn’t I think everything is fine once I sense his presence?
I no longer had confidence in myself. Ultimately, I decided to avoid this situation. I needed to compose myself a bit more. At least, if I was going to see Cha Jae-woo again, I needed to be stronger.
“Go ahead, try everything you can.”
I knew it was a risky adventure that was better avoided. Telling him never to show up again might have been the better choice.
But I wanted Cha Jae-woo to feel helpless. After all, I couldn’t guide him. No matter how hard he tried, he wouldn’t find someone to guide him.
How helpless would he feel then? Right now, I was probably his only hope.
I turned around and slammed the front door shut with a bang. I didn’t want to talk to Cha Jae-woo anymore that day. So, I kept my mouth shut, climbed onto the bed, and pulled the blanket over my head.
I don’t know when Cha Jae-woo left. That day, I tried not to make even the smallest sound. It felt like he was listening to every sound I made.
* * *
“Sigh…….”
I could feel someone’s gaze following me. A man was staring at me persistently. He was a familiar face—the driver who had been at Cha Jae-woo’s house while I was there.
Ever since Cha Jae-woo’s visit, the driver had been waiting outside my house every day. When I flinched at the familiar face, he approached me and offered to take me to school.
I knew Cha Jae-woo must have ordered him to do this. I was surprised he would go to such lengths.
Of course, I refused the driver’s offer. He nodded in understanding and stepped back.
But the problem was that this scene repeated every day. Today, too, I felt uncomfortable with the driver following me. I had told him to try everything, but if this was his plan, how was it any different from just giving me money?
Moreover, Cha Jae-woo’s influence didn’t stop at the driver.
Lately, I hadn’t needed to spend any money. Neither had my friends. Whether we were eating out or having coffee, the bill was always paid by the time we were ready to leave.
At first, I thought maybe a senior from school had treated us. But I soon realized it was Cha Jae-woo’s doing.
He was still spending money, just in a more roundabout way.
Cha Jae-woo’s influence extended even further. I suspected he had something to do with the sudden quiet around my house. To be precise, the moment I entered the house, everything went silent. I wondered if soundproofing was one of Cha Jae-woo’s abilities.
On the day Cha Jae-woo came, I had shouted loudly, so I thought the neighbors must have heard everything. I expected them to look at me strangely after hearing about guides and such.
But the few neighbors I encountered acted as if they hadn’t heard a thing. If this was Cha Jae-woo’s ability, it explained why my house was so quiet.
“…….”
Everything he was doing was strange. He said he would try anything, but these methods were bizarre. It was almost laughable.
Maybe that’s why I was getting increasingly annoyed. These little things were getting on my nerves. Would it be better if he just showed up and acted like nothing had happened? It wouldn’t be great, but it would be easier to understand than this.
“……!”
My steps faltered as I walked to school. This was what bothered me the most.
Cha Jae-woo’s presence. I could feel it intermittently. He was probably doing it to let me know he was nearby, since I told him not to show up in front of me.
It was a shallow trick. The presence that used to hold only pain now carried a sense of loneliness. Every time I felt it, my mood soured.
Was it because I was sure he was trying to manipulate my emotions? If not, there would be no reason for him to show me his loneliness and pain.
“…….”
The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. Today, especially, his presence felt close and strong.
I had told him to do something, but he shouldn’t act pitiful. And he shouldn’t act like he missed me. He should just admit that he needs a guide and leave it at that.
Having my heart toyed with once was enough. Doing the same thing again would be too cruel.
I quickly turned towards where I felt his presence. As I rounded a nearby corner, I saw Cha Jae-woo’s face.
He looked surprised to see me, his expression frozen. I smirked at his detestable face and asked,
“Is this how you’re going to do it?”
