Living alone hadn’t been long, but lately, the feeling was strange. Was it because of leaving the bustling house?
But without Yeonju Noona, who would catch Kim Geon-ung every other day, the uncle who would laugh at the scene, and the aunt, the house felt exceptionally quiet.
Not finding a part-time job before the semester started was the problem. The idle time at home made the loneliness more pronounced.
‘First world problems.’
Complaining about loneliness was a luxury. Having so much free time during the vacation was a luxury in itself. Moreover, a trip was planned right before the semester started—something impossible before.
This leisure was thanks to the time spent at Cha Jae-woo’s house, working as a Guide. The contract money received from him remained untouched. Of course, the monthly payments had stopped.
In fact, Cha Jae-woo had been sending money every month until the realization dawned during a visit to the bank, driven by the thought of not just sitting and receiving help.
Seeing Cha Jae-woo’s name was a shock, causing a moment of panic and dizziness.
Was the contract still valid? Had Cha Jae-woo only temporarily let go? If so, when would he come back?
Paralyzed by these thoughts, the next thing remembered was being in the hospital. Someone had called an ambulance after seeing the panic attack in the bank.
Kim Geon-ung and his family were worried, sensing something had happened. But nothing was said to them. If Cha Jae-woo wanted to take back, no one could stop him. It was better to stay silent and prepare mentally, though the feasibility was questionable.
Fortunately, the feared scenario didn’t happen.
The money that had caused anxiety stopped coming. Only then was there relief, feeling truly free from Cha Jae-woo.
Thanks to this, there was no need to work part-time and focus on school could be maintained. Though being busy might have been better, it was too late now.
Sleep was often disturbed, leading to hospital visits. Sometimes anxiety would strike, or tears would flow for no reason. But that phase was over now.
The connection with Cha Jae-woo was severed. As long as he didn’t come looking again.
‘That won’t happen.’
A lot of time had passed. If he hadn’t come looking by now, it should be safe.
Cha Jae-woo had plenty of options. He was probably with a high-compatibility Guide, living comfortably.
“…….”
This thought process was familiar. Normally, it would end here, and moving on to something else would happen.
But today, thoughts of Cha Jae-woo lingered. Was it because of being alone at home? Should friends be invited over? Or maybe go out for a bit?
Several thoughts crossed the mind, but eventually, lying down on the bed happened. There was a bit of laziness, but also a strange confidence. Thinking about Cha Jae-woo a bit more wouldn’t matter now.
Suppressing thoughts of Cha Jae-woo didn’t make them disappear. Maybe it was better to think about him until boredom set in.
Rationalizing was easier than thought. The phone was picked up immediately. Truthfully, there was a curiosity about how Cha Jae-woo was doing. Since personal improvement had happened, there was a hope that he was doing well too.
This concern was not for him, but for myself. If Cha Jae-woo was doing well, then perhaps he wouldn’t call for me again, and I wouldn’t have to worry about such a ridiculous notion anymore.
[Cha Jae-woo]
As if waiting for this very moment, the name Cha Jae-woo was quickly typed into the search bar. Articles flooded the screen as soon as the search button was pressed. The eyes scanned rapidly.
There were still many articles about him, but most were dated. Recent updates were scarce, and the few that existed only mentioned his activities in the Gate.
[Cha Jae-woo, the Esper, speaks about the shocking circumstances of his awakening 19 years ago]
An article from several months ago was easily found.
With a furrowed brow, the article was clicked, revealing a photo of Cha Jae-woo looking even more gaunt than the last time seen.
It had been a long time since seeing his face. Towards the end, consciousness was barely there, and memories of his appearance were faint.
‘He’s thinner.’
One thing was clear: Cha Jae-woo in the photo looked more haggard than remembered, with a pale complexion, appearing very tired.
The lower lip was bitten as the article was scanned. It contained exactly what had been suspected.
[……Former Esper Association President Jo Gyeong-hoon threw the awakening Cha Jae-woo into the Gate and forced his parents to enter as well.]
[……Cha Jae-woo, who experienced his first rampage, tragically killed his own parents with his own hands…….]
A dry swallow followed. This was known, or at least suspected. But there was a hope that Cha Jae-woo hadn’t directly killed them, that they had perhaps perished at the hands of monsters first. Otherwise, reading this article wouldn’t have been such a shock.
“Comfort me.”
The voice of Cha Jae-woo, feigning pitifulness, echoed in the mind.
Perhaps he really did need comfort. The thought was foolish, but it lingered. There was no room to deny it now. The search for Cha Jae-woo’s articles and the scanning of comments below them was compulsive. The eyes moved relentlessly.
─He’s so pitiful, killing his own parents during a rampage~ He can’t even get a Guide and is on the verge of another rampage~ He’s strong, so he gets all the blame~
└If he remembers all that and still manages to live, he’s practically a saint.
└He must be enlightened, truly.
─The Association bastards must feel guilty, so they won’t assign him a Guide, but they keep him because he’s S-Rank.
─Cha Seong-ju must be crazy too, trying to restore Jae-woo’s memories and driving him mad.
─His life is a mess, it’s insane.
─Jo Gyeong-hoon is the worst, killing all the Guides compatible with Cha Jae-woo.
└What about the D-Rank Guide? Is he dead too?
└No one knows, but probably.
└Damn.
The situation was grim.
All this time, it was believed that Cha Jae-woo would manage on his own. It was thought that his life was no longer a concern, and fear of his actions kept any news about him at bay. But now, months later, the truth was revealed. Much had happened, and little of it was expected.
Jo Gyeong-hoon and Lee Jae-hoon, among others, had been punished by the law. They had killed all the Guides compatible with Cha Jae-woo, facing severe sentences.
But Cha Jae-woo hadn’t killed them. The expectation was wrong.
Moreover, Cha Jae-woo was not doing well. He had no Guide. They had all been killed by Jo Gyeong-hoon’s group.
The heart sank. Was this concern for Cha Jae-woo? Was there still worry for him?
Disgust at oneself should have been overwhelming, but instead, there was a rush of heat and a racing heart. The wish was not for him to be happy, but neither was it for him to return to his former state.
“…….”
Anxiety surged, and the phone screen was quickly turned off and set aside.
It was a mistake to look. Better to have remained ignorant. Regret washed over, even knowing it was too late.
No, there was nothing that could be done. Nothing wanted to be done. Whatever state Cha Jae-woo was in, it didn’t matter. He would find another Guide. There was no need for concern. The very idea of worrying about him was absurd.
‘I hate him. I resent him. He is terrible and despised.’
Eyes closed tightly, resentment towards Cha Jae-woo was poured out. It was a method that had worked before, a way to calm the mind when memories threatened to overwhelm.
“……!”
But the usual mantra did not continue. Suddenly, there was a rise from the bed, and the closed window was thrown open.
A wave.
A familiar wave, terrifyingly familiar, had been felt. Cha Jae-woo’s wave, distinct and clear.
“…….”
But the open window revealed nothing. The wave had vanished as if it had never been.
Was it an illusion? A trick of the mind from thinking too much about Cha Jae-woo?
It had felt so real, so much like the last time his presence was felt. Had the memory of that day been invoked again? Foolishly wanting to pity him?
“Ha…….”
A hollow laugh escaped. The window was closed, and hair was tousled.
It was time to stop, but as always, nothing went as wanted.
