The world was abuzz with daily news articles:
[Former Esper Association President ‘Jo Gyeong-hoon’ Indicted for Kidnapping and Blackmail…]
[The Unpredictable Truth of the Gate, The Corrupt Ability Association]
[Shocking Testimony of Cha Jae-woo Esper from 19 Years Ago]
[Esper’s Manifestation Triggers Gate]
[Shocking: The Evil Deeds of the Ability Association and the Late Chairman ‘Cha Seong-ju’]
Cha Jae-woo checked the news on his phone, rubbing his tired eyes before closing them.
“You’re going to end it like this?”
Lee Ju-yeon’s voice, bordering on hysteria, echoed in his ears. It was loud and annoying.
“Are you satisfied? Can you really be satisfied with just this?”
Satisfied? How could he be satisfied with just having people like Jang Gijun and Jo Gyeong-hoon arrested? Did they really think he would be content with that? Impossible.
His head throbbed. Of course, he wasn’t satisfied. Even if their reputations were ruined and they were shunned, this was only a small part of what Cha Jae-woo had planned.
He had envisioned them being stoned to death in a deserted place, or suffering the same fate as him—killing their own family and descending into madness before being killed themselves.
There were many other scenarios he had imagined. How could he make them suffer the most? Cha Jae-woo had always pondered this, planning to torment them for a very long time.
But now, he didn’t feel like doing that anymore. It wasn’t that his desire for revenge had vanished, but he was concerned about the people who would be hurt in the process.
“…….”
He resented them, but would killing them really change anything?
Would it bring him peace? No. If Lim Haeyul found out that they were dead, and if it disturbed the stability he seemed to have finally found, it would be terrible.
“Oh, come on! Stop calling me! Why are you looking for me so much?”
“Do you think I’m a child? Huh? Do you think I’ve only lived alone for a day or two? How long are you going to worry about me?”
“Oh, never mind…… Mom! Ah, hahaha. Yes. I’m doing fine. Of course. Oh, why do you keep worrying so much?”
The sound of laughter felt distant, almost forgotten. Cha Jae-woo was amazed at how Lim Haeyul could smile and raise his voice when he wasn’t around, unlike when he was in front of him.
But it was a foolish thought. When Lim Haeyul first came to him, he wasn’t so terrified. He was the problem. He had made Lim Haeyul afraid.
“Let me go! Just kill me! I feel sick! I’m scared! Send me home! Aaah!”
“I… I’m sorry. I can’t do it. I don’t want to……. Please send me home. I’m scared.”
“Don’t come. Don’t come near me. I’ll die. Don’t come near me…….”
Cha Jae-woo had felt a mix of relief and anger when he caught Lim Haeyul just as he was about to jump out the window.
What was so wrong with him? Why did Lim Haeyul find him so terrifying? Everyone was the same. In fact, there were people far worse than him everywhere.
But Cha Jae-woo couldn’t say a word. What could he say to Lim Haeyul, who had begged to leave, changing his attitude countless times in such a short period?
He was dying. His mind was being eaten away, and the Lim Haeyul he knew was disappearing. Only then did Cha Jae-woo feel fear. It was ridiculous, but it was true. He was scared.
So, he decided to let Lim Haeyul go. He thought that if he could receive Guiding from someone else, he would be fine—a thought he wouldn’t have had before. And Lim Haeyul was useless to him now. There was no reason to keep someone useless by his side.
“I’ll send you home. Right now, I’ll send you home. So, please, just this once, look at me. Please…….”
Cha Jae-woo believed he had made a rational decision.
At least, if Lim Haeyul hadn’t begged him like that, if his heart hadn’t ached so much in that moment, if he hadn’t felt the sudden fear of having ruined Lim Haeyul completely, he would still be deluding himself.
Cha Jae-woo was deeply emotional. At the time, it wasn’t just Lim Haeyul who was terrified; Cha Jae-woo himself was trembling with fear. The anxiety that he might lose Lim Haeyul haunted him daily.
This fear manifested as anger, and the situation worsened. If he hadn’t finally decided to let Lim Haeyul go, the outcome would have been disastrous.
“Haha…….”
Cha Jae-woo let out a short laugh and rubbed his face. His already lifeless expression had grown even darker recently.
He wondered, what if he had realized it sooner?
The truth was, his blind devotion had consumed him. He hadn’t seen Lim Haeyul as a convenient tool but had felt truly alive for the first time since becoming an Esper.
He mistook it for proper Guiding. What a foolish mistake. But he couldn’t help it. Cha Jae-woo had never let anyone get close to him. He couldn’t easily recognize that he had opened his heart to someone.
He shouldn’t have done it. He shouldn’t have used Lim Haeyul’s feelings, shouldn’t have ignored his suffering.
He shouldn’t have thought Lim Haeyul was like him. He was a monster. And yet, he had wanted Lim Haeyul to become a monster too.
“……Lim Haeyul.”
He heard a faint rustling sound. Ever since he realized his voice could be heard, he had been more careful, but sometimes he would catch himself muttering to himself. The bustling sounds of preparation for Guiding, which he used to hear, were now eerily missed.
He wanted Lim Haeyul by his side again. Cha Jae-woo smiled bitterly at his renewed desire. It was impossible. He couldn’t do that.
Cha Jae-woo stood up. He couldn’t bring Lim Haeyul back, but he could see him from a distance, even if just for a moment. He could eavesdrop on his faint sounds. If Lim Haeyul knew, he would be horrified, but Cha Jae-woo couldn’t bear it otherwise.
“…….”
As he stood, he felt a brief wave of dizziness. It had been a long time since he had received Guiding.
He had tried, but it didn’t work. Just as Lim Haeyul’s mana had rejected entering him, his body now rejected the mana of other Guides.
The mere entry of mana made him feel sick, and his frequency became even more unstable than when he didn’t receive Guiding. As a result, Cha Jae-woo couldn’t receive Guiding at all.
Well… it couldn’t be helped.
He was used to it. The constant headaches were nothing new; he had experienced them all before Lim Haeyul appeared.
‘……I miss him.’
His physical condition didn’t matter. Cha Jae-woo thought of Lim Haeyul’s face and walked slowly. He missed him and wanted to see him, even from a distance.
From the moment of his manifestation, Cha Jae-woo had never been happy about being an Esper.
But lately, he felt grateful. Thanks to this damned ability, he could see Lim Haeyul from far away, sense his scent, and hear his voice.
The phone screen, filled with news articles about Jo Gyeong-hoon and the association, finally went dark. Cha Jae-woo walked slowly, lost in thought again.
He didn’t kill them. He wouldn’t kill them. He decided not to be cruel because Lim Haeyul didn’t want that. But still, Lim Haeyul would be afraid of him. Wanting to be close to him, hoping to see him even for a moment, was just his selfish desire.
‘It sounds ridiculous.’
If Lim Haeyul could hear his thoughts, how would he react?
He didn’t know. All he could imagine was Lim Haeyul curled up, avoiding his gaze.
Still, he thought Lim Haeyul would think of him as selfish and disgusting.
