It had already been several days since Kim Sol started staying at this house.
At first, Kim Sol was restless. Kim Sol often provoked Cha Jae-woo, and this made him fearful that something might happen.
“I don’t really want to die. In fact, I desperately want to live longer.”
Whenever he was at a loss, Kim Sol would say this to him. Therefore, he assured him that there was nothing to worry about.
But wasn’t that just Kim Sol’s opinion? Who could truly understand Cha Jae-woo’s intentions?
Well, that’s what he thought at first. Ultimately, nothing had happened so far, so Kim Sol was right.
He only realized this after acknowledging that Cha Jae-woo had deliberately let Kim Sol into the house. It was probably to restore his guiding, which had been faltering unlike before.
“……Ah.”
If that was the case, he should respond to Cha Jae-woo’s expectations.
He sighed softly as the mana scattered as soon as he entered Cha Jae-woo’s body. He wondered if his brief distraction had caused the mana to malfunction and disperse even faster than before.
“…….”
Cha Jae-woo, realizing that the guiding was over, abruptly withdrew his outstretched right hand. He visibly flinched and bowed his head.
“I’m sorry.”
His voice trembled slightly as he apologized, a habit that had become second nature. Every day he guided, but it seemed like he was getting worse with each passing day. At this rate, there was no point in Cha Jae-woo going through the trouble of letting Kim Sol stay.
“……I’m sorry.”
He bowed his head again to the silent Cha Jae-woo. He felt a growing anxiety that Cha Jae-woo might finally be getting angry.
“…….”
But Cha Jae-woo said nothing. He just stared at him intently with his dark eyes.
As the intense, lingering gaze finally lifted, he let out a long sigh. He realized then that he had been holding his breath without thinking.
“……Then, I’ll go out now.”
He cautiously glanced at Cha Jae-woo and slowly stepped back.
One day, Cha Jae-woo stopped speaking altogether, making his already inscrutable intentions even harder to decipher.
He wondered if he could leave, or if he should continue guiding, or if Cha Jae-woo was upset or angry…
There were countless questions, but he couldn’t find answers to any of them. Of course, if he asked, Cha Jae-woo might answer. But he couldn’t bring himself to ask anything. Cha Jae-woo had become a figure of fear to him.
As soon as he left Cha Jae-woo’s room, he walked quickly. Only after entering his own room did he slowly let out a deep breath, careful not to let it sound like a sigh.
Knowing that Cha Jae-woo could hear even the smallest sounds in the house, he couldn’t openly sigh. Even though he already knew this, he felt a renewed sense of frustration and pressed his hand against his chest, feeling a dull ache.
‘What should I do, really.’
The hand that had been pressing against his chest now roughly rubbed his face. His skin stung from the rough treatment, but the frustration inside him made the pain seem distant.
The situation was steadily worsening. Kim Sol tried to calm him down through conversation, but unfortunately, it didn’t help at all. The fear of Cha Jae-woo could only be resolved by leaving his side.
‘I want to run away.’
He wanted to escape from this house. He wished Cha Jae-woo would let him go. He hoped Cha Jae-woo would realize that he would be better off with another guide and release him.
Regardless of his worries, he knew Cha Jae-woo wouldn’t kill him. He didn’t know exactly what crimes Jo Gyeong-hoon or Jang Gijun had committed against Cha Jae-woo, but he knew he wasn’t comparable to them.
All he wanted was for Cha Jae-woo to realize that he was of no use to him anymore and let him go.
“…….”
It felt like the end was near, judged by the cold gaze that Cha Jae-woo gave him. Yet, seeing how Cha Jae-woo had let Kim Sol in and endured his inadequate guiding every day, it seemed like there was still some time left.
He wanted to ask to be let go, but he didn’t have the courage. He feared upsetting Cha Jae-woo.
“Haah…….”
A long sigh finally escaped his lips, ending the endless cycle of thoughts. He tried to stifle it, but it was too late. He rubbed his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut.
He just wanted to sleep. Perhaps it was because he was constantly trapped in his thoughts while awake. Lately, he just wanted to stay asleep.
* * *
“Lim! Hae! Yul!”
“Tto-yul! Get out here, you jerk!”
He had fallen asleep when the sun was high, but sudden noise woke him up to a dimly lit room.
“Wha, what……?”
But that wasn’t the important part. Someone was shouting his name loud enough to burst his eardrums.
He turned his head, bewildered, to find the source of the noise. He didn’t need to look far.
“Ugh!”
Suddenly, something heavy pinned him down. Before he could react, Jo Ha-eon had him in a headlock, shaking him vigorously.
“Wha, what are you—!”
“Look at this, look. Your phone is right here. Working just fine. I thought it was broken and wouldn’t turn on at all.”
As he struggled to breathe, Park Yeon-ho held up his phone, which had been on the nightstand. Park Yeon-ho sneered at him.
He wanted to explain, but Jo Ha-eon still had him in a tight grip.
“Living the good life, huh?”
Kim Geon-ung, leaning against the doorframe, clicked his tongue. He squirmed and scratched at Jo Ha-eon’s arm, signaling his surrender.
“Huff, haah. Hey, are you trying to kill me?”
Finally, Jo Ha-eon let go. He rubbed his throat, realizing it had been a long time since he had raised his voice like that. And that he shouldn’t have.
“Wait, how did you guys get in here…….”
His annoyed expression froze as he realized the implications. He started pushing Jo Ha-eon away, urgently trying to get them out of the room.
“You need to go. You can’t be here. How did you get in? Just get out. If he finds you here—”
But Jo Ha-eon wouldn’t budge. Neither would the others. He was the only one panicking. He got out of bed and started pulling Jo Ha-eon towards the door.
“If he finds us, what?”
Jo Ha-eon still didn’t move. Instead, he flicked his forehead and laughed in disbelief.
“The owner of the house let us in. What’s the problem?”
“Wha, what?”
“Did you think we climbed the wall or something? You think this place is easy to break into?”
Jo Ha-eon shook his head at his foolishness.
Did that mean… Cha Jae-woo had personally let them in? So, it was okay for them to be here?
He didn’t have much time to ponder. Park Yeon-ho walked over and tossed him his phone.
“Cha Jae-woo, hmm……. Never mind. Anyway, what’s wrong with you? You look like a mess.”
He looked down at himself, not seeing the problem. Park Yeon-ho sighed deeply.
“You won’t answer calls, and now you look like you’re wasting away. Should we protest to Cha Jae-woo or something?”
He shook his head frantically, glancing towards the door.
“I just haven’t been feeling well lately. It’s not Cha Jae-woo’s fault. Just, don’t talk about this, okay…….”
He was sure Cha Jae-woo was listening. He didn’t want to upset him.
But they thought he was acting strangely. Park Yeon-ho frowned, and Kim Geon-ung walked over.
He remembered that he had stolen Kim Geon-ung’s phone when he ran away. He hadn’t been in touch since.
“Kim Geon-ung……. About that phone…….”
“Cha Jae-woo is out.”
“Huh?”
“He let us in and then left. Said he had something to do.”
Kim Geon-ung was surprisingly calm, unlike what he expected.
He processed this slowly. Unfortunately, they didn’t give him much time to react.
“So, today, this place is our playground.”
Jo Ha-eon pulled him into a hug from behind, chuckling.
“Tto-yul. You ready to make up for lost time?”
The gloomy tone of the conversation made him chuckle softly, his body stiffening in disbelief. Jo Ha-eon laughed and ruffled his hair playfully.
Being among his noisy friends after so long felt like a breath of fresh air, lifting some of the heaviness from his chest.
‘But it should be fine, right? Cha Jae-woo won’t be in danger…….’
He shook his head, trying to dispel the worries as he was led out of the room. He had assumed Cha Jae-woo stayed inside to avoid Jo Gyeong-hoon, and now he couldn’t help but worry about what might happen.
But he reminded himself that it wasn’t his concern. He scolded himself for still worrying about Cha Jae-woo. He had no reason to care whether Cha Jae-woo was in danger or causing danger to others. Only by letting go of these feelings could he find some peace.
Yes, that was the right mindset.
