As consciousness returned, the first thought that crossed his mind was the desire to keep his eyes shut. The memory of the moment just before he blacked out was too vivid, and he could sense Cha Jae-woo’s presence nearby.
“Open your eyes,” Cha Jae-woo commanded.
He contemplated feigning unconsciousness, but it was futile. Cha Jae-woo would surely know he was awake.
Silence hung in the air as he struggled to open his eyes. He wished Kim Sol was there with him, and fortunately, he was. Seeing Kim Sol standing behind Cha Jae-woo, who was looking down at him with a displeased expression, he let out a brief sigh of relief.
“…I’m sorry,” he quickly apologized to Cha Jae-woo, his voice trembling with fear. He tried to explain, “I didn’t do it because I didn’t want to. You misunderstood. There’s something else—”
“Be quiet,” Cha Jae-woo interrupted, showing no interest in hearing his explanation.
He fell silent, his eyes darting around nervously. Kim Sol stood with his arms crossed, glaring at Cha Jae-woo with disapproval.
‘That’s not a good idea,’ he thought, admiring Kim Sol’s boldness.
“What’s the problem? What do I need to do for you?” Cha Jae-woo asked, his tone flat and accusatory.
“It’s not about what you need to do…,” he started to say, shaking his head vigorously. But he hesitated, realizing that Kim Sol’s words held some truth.
He didn’t want to guide because he feared that if Cha Jae-woo’s condition improved, he might kill again under the guise of revenge. This would make him an accomplice to murder. Although he hadn’t thought it through so clearly before, the guilt had been weighing on him, making it difficult for him to guide properly.
He couldn’t explain all this to Cha Jae-woo. He licked his dry lips and looked down, avoiding Cha Jae-woo’s gaze.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, his voice barely audible. “I don’t want to guide because… I’m scared… of people dying…”
Cha Jae-woo sighed deeply at his stammering words.
“I should have kept you in the dark,” Cha Jae-woo muttered, glancing at Kim Sol as if blaming him for the situation.
“It’s not Sol’s fault…,” he said, defending Kim Sol even though he showed no reaction. Cha Jae-woo let out a hollow laugh and rubbed his chin, his face filled with annoyance.
“You would have found out eventually…,” he continued, struggling to find the words. After fainting once, he felt a strange surge of courage, perhaps because the IV drip in his arm reassured him that Cha Jae-woo didn’t intend to kill him right now.
“Are you worried I might kill Kim Sol too?” Cha Jae-woo asked coldly.
His courage vanished instantly at the question. “Ah…,” he stammered, unable to find the words to respond.
He let out a helpless sigh, unable to respond. He couldn’t deny the fear, but he also couldn’t admit it outright.
“You see me as a monster,” Cha Jae-woo muttered with a bitter laugh, his voice twisted. He shook his head vigorously, denying Cha Jae-woo’s words.
“No, that’s not it. I’ve never seen you as a monster. It’s just that I…,” he started, but his words trailed off. Did he really see Cha Jae-woo as a monster? Was that why he was so afraid? If not, what did he think of him?
As he struggled to find an answer, Cha Jae-woo turned away. His heart sank, and a sense of urgency washed over him.
“I just… I don’t think you’re a monster…,” he stammered, still unable to explain himself.
Someone with extraordinary powers who could kill and had the intent to do so—wasn’t that essentially a monster? Even if Cha Jae-woo had his own standards, couldn’t those standards change at any moment? Couldn’t anyone become a target, not just Jo Gyeong-hoon or Jang Gijun? Might Cha Jae-woo eventually discard someone just because they were no longer useful?
He feared that one day, it would come to that. Yes, one day it would. Kim Sol was right. He didn’t want to guide Cha Jae-woo because he didn’t want him to become too powerful.
“…I’m sorry,” he murmured, his head hanging low. He desperately wanted to explain, but words failed him.
“But… I’ll try my best to fix this. So, if you could just give me a little more time—,” he pleaded, his voice filled with anxiety.
“Let me talk to him,” Kim Sol interjected, stepping forward from where he had been standing. Both he and Cha Jae-woo turned to look at Kim Sol, who approached with a determined expression.
“This isn’t helping,” Kim Sol said firmly.
“And you think you can help?” Cha Jae-woo retorted.
“At least I’m not as threatening as you, Esper Cha Jae-woo,” Kim Sol replied, standing his ground. He seemed unafraid of Cha Jae-woo, unlike him, who was trembling with nervousness.
He glanced between the two, his body tense. Cha Jae-woo looked at him and sighed deeply, making his heart race even faster.
Fortunately, Cha Jae-woo didn’t linger. Without another word, he left the room, the sound of his footsteps fading away. Only then could he relax, his body sinking into the bed as the tension melted away.
“…What am I going to do with you?” Kim Sol sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed. He didn’t respond, still wary of being overheard by Cha Jae-woo.
“Why did you have to become Cha Jae-woo’s guide?” Kim Sol muttered, shaking his head. He wished Kim Sol would stop talking, fearing Cha Jae-woo might still be listening.
Kim Sol patted his leg gently, as if trying to reassure him, but it did little to ease his anxiety.
“Esper Cha Jae-woo won’t kill you. So, don’t worry,” Kim Sol said, trying to comfort him.
He remained silent, unsure of how Kim Sol could be so certain. Even if Cha Jae-woo didn’t intend to kill him, he couldn’t bring himself to trust him completely. He couldn’t hate Cha Jae-woo, but he also couldn’t stop being afraid of him.
“…I’m scared,” he wanted to say, but the words wouldn’t come out.
“It’s okay,” Kim Sol reassured him, but it did little to calm his fears. Nothing felt okay.
He considered begging Cha Jae-woo to find another guide, to let him go. But the thought of Cha Jae-woo’s potential reaction filled him with dread. He closed his eyes, unable to sort through his feelings.
No, he told himself, it was better to fear Cha Jae-woo than to cling to any lingering concern for him. Fear would keep him safe, or so he hoped.
