“No, it’s just… if all you wanted was simple Guiding─.”
It felt unfair because the reaction was always the same, but today it felt particularly intense and intimidating, leaving no room for complaints. So he hurriedly began making excuses. Thinking it might help his case, he quickly tugged at his clothes, baring his shoulder completely.
“I didn’t think you wanted it to go this far!”
“…….”
“I mean… it’s a reasonable assumption… right? Originally, you used to get Guiding in all sorts of ways… Ah, well, I suppose it could’ve become a habit after doing it like that so many times… But no matter how I think about it, it seems like you actually prefer it that way….”
But as he kept trying to explain himself, absurdly enough, he started getting annoyed again. Was it even normal for his emotions to swing up and down like this? Getting hurt, then recovering, then getting hurt again, back and forth like a total mess.
Well, it couldn’t be helped. Even if it was a side effect, Cha Jae-woo was someone he liked. The mere thought of Cha Jae-woo having done this kind of thing with someone else made his jealousy boil over, and there was nothing strange about that.
Come to think of it, he’d gotten pissed earlier thinking about this too. He was just going around in circles with the same damn topic.
“It must’ve been so good for you…”
Even as he thought it was pathetic that he was getting mad again for the exact same reason, he found himself smirking without realizing it.
‘Still, he thought, this is seriously pissing me off!’
Cha Jae-woo had properly come to him now, but the fact that he couldn’t shake the habits he’d built with someone else and was now using them on him—that stung like hell!
“I was wondering what kind of nonsense you were stewing over.”
Seeing him like that, Cha Jae-woo let out a long sigh and laughed as if he were dumbfounded. His brows were furrowed, but his smiling face was still as breathtaking as ever. However, maybe because his mood was already in the gutter, that smile only managed to piss him off even more.
“That won’t happen again.”
“It better not.”
He fired back at Cha Jae-woo without hesitation. If anything like yesterday ever happened again, he swore he would absolutely punt Cha Jae-woo and run away. He was determined to stick to proper, respectable Guiding from now on. This was his differentiation strategy!
“No, I mean, I won’t be getting Guiding from any other Guide again.”
…And just like that, the fiery resolve that had been burning inside him instantly fizzled out at Cha Jae-woo’s words.
…Wait, what was he even thinking just now?
Differentiation strategy? Differentiate what? Was he out of his mind? What exactly did he think he was going to accomplish with that?
A thousand question marks popped up in his head all at once. Was he really trying to make Cha Jae-woo like him with this? That was ridiculous, impossible—and it should be impossible, too.
Sigh, maybe the side effects were dragging on so long that they were causing new ones now. Like forgetting that he was even experiencing side effects in the first place.
“Ahem―.”
He cleared his throat and forced the thought out of his mind. But once he did, Cha Jae-woo’s words suddenly sounded a little odd. No—different might be the better word. It sounded like he was saying he would never again do that kind of dirty stuff with anyone else.
No, was it weird to think of it like that? Honestly, even if he did, it wasn’t his business. Sure, he hated it—but since it was an emotion stemming from the side effects, he could accept it. If anything, it was a situation where he ought to feel apologetic if Cha Jae-woo actually was being considerate of him.
“Ah, yes…….”
But even so, he didn’t say it was fine, nor that he didn’t need to worry about it. He wanted to be cool about it, to tell him that he respected his privacy— But when he actually pictured it, he didn’t feel cool about it at all, so in the end, he said nothing.
‘Isn’t it okay to hope for this much?’
He naturally began rationalizing it to himself.
“As long as it’s just with you, right?”
Cha Jae-woo asked him. He almost nodded immediately, but managed to cling to his fraying rationality and stop himself. Though, it didn’t last long.
“Looks like you’ve taken another step forward.”
Cha Jae-woo said something strange.
“Huh? What do you mean…….”
‘What the hell did he just say?’
As Lim Haeyul stiffened awkwardly like a broken robot, Cha Jae-woo lifted the corners of his mouth and kindly continued.
“Yesterday, the Guiding went well, didn’t it? Just like you wanted. So keep doing it that way from now on. As long as I’m sober, it won’t get as out of hand as it did yesterday─.”
“No way!”
The moment he understood what Cha Jae-woo meant, Haeyul’s entire body tensed up. Absolutely not. There could never be another Guiding session like yesterday. Sure, it had been undeniably effective—but there was no way he could endure that again.
“Why not?”
“I mean, it’s just a little….”
“You didn’t hate it either.”
The words barely left Cha Jae-woo’s mouth before Haeyul’s jaw dropped. Ridiculously enough, it hit the mark dead-on. If he asked whether Haeyul disliked it—honestly, he couldn’t say he did. If he had, he wouldn’t have been burning up alone in the bathroom afterward─.
“Ah! Y-You heard that?!”
The chair screeched loudly as it scraped across the floor. His panicked voice cracked embarrassingly, but that didn’t matter. All he could see was Cha Jae-woo’s face, full of meaningful amusement.
‘He heard.’
Yeah, he’d suspected Cha Jae-woo might have heard it. But there was a world of difference between mere suspicion and having it confirmed like this!
Cha Jae-woo had definitely heard him panting and whimpering helplessly in the bathroom—and now he was looking so smug about it! That damn arrogant face said it all!
“I—I mean, of course! Isn’t that obvious? I—I’m in a situation, you know. That, uh, you know what I mean, right? Guiding, s-side effects! That! I’m suffering from those, so, obviously, in that kind of situation─!”
Drowning in mortification, Haeyul flailed desperately to explain himself. And somewhere deep down, he felt utterly wronged.
‘He knows damn well it’s because of the side effects—can’t he just pretend he doesn’t?!’
He hated that Cha Jae-woo had to bring it up so blatantly.
“I know.”
Watching him stammer like crazy, Cha Jae-woo laughed. Haeyul wanted to argue more, but he couldn’t. Because right then, the usual slight frown on Cha Jae-woo’s face completely smoothed out—And God, he became, without exaggeration, the most devastatingly handsome man Haeyul had ever seen. Completely stunned was the only way to describe it.
“Still, it’s a little unfair.”
Cha Jae-woo leaned forward. Haeyul just stood there, dumbly watching him move. His body had gone stiff, refusing to budge.
“Feleil’s blood makes you crave Guiding. It doesn’t make you want to roll around in bed with your Guide.”
“…….”
“So, I think… I just wanted to do that with you.”
Cha Jae-woo’s finger pointed at his shoulder—the spot still marked with the imprint of his teeth.
“Hhhuuugh….”
If Lim Haeyul wasn’t hallucinating from the side effects, then Cha Jae-woo really was trying to seduce him right now.
“And I don’t even remember it. Of course it feels unfair.”
“…….”
“So… shouldn’t we try again─.”
No—this wasn’t just his imagination. Cha Jae-woo was seducing him.
Seriously.
***
Lim Haeyul bolted out of the room before Cha Jae-woo even finished speaking. And he did it very loudly. In his panic, he collided with every piece of furniture on his way out.
Cha Jae-woo reached out to steady the staggering Haeyul but was swiftly slapped away.
Smack!
The startled look Haeyul had worn after slapping his hand away came vividly to mind, and Cha Jae-woo let out a dry, breathless laugh.
However, the faint smile that lingered on his lips quickly faded. His face hardened into a rigid mask.
Feleil’s blood.
It was just a hunch—but he was certain. It was the only thing capable of instantly warping an Esper’s wavelength like that.
‘So you wanted to make absolutely sure, huh.’
Cha Jae-woo twisted the corner of his mouth. The expression he wore now was utterly different from the fond smile he’d shown while thinking about Haeyul.
He got up from his chair and walked over to the bed, pulling out an old flip phone from the bottom drawer of the nightstand. But he didn’t turn it on. He just spun it absently in his hand.
“Ah, wait a second…! Argh!”
As he sat there doing nothing, vague fragments of the previous night started to surface in his mind. But the memories wouldn’t come back fully. That was the effect of Feleil’s blood. It erased rationality, turning a person into little more than a beast.
Back then, Cha Jae-woo had wanted nothing more than Guiding. Well, maybe a little more than that. Regardless, to Lim Haeyul, he probably hadn’t even seemed human at the time.
In many ways, it resembled a rampage. Losing all reason, blacking out entirely.
‘No.’
It wasn’t the same. An Esper retained vivid memories of a rampage. It was only others who carved those memories away.
Cha Jae-woo hadn’t been an exception. After his rampage, his memories were erased. Of course, that wasn’t the case anymore. Now, Cha Jae-woo remembered those moments of frenzy perfectly.
But that wasn’t because he recovered them on his own.
Cha Seong-ju. His grandfather. The chairman of KE Group.
It was Cha Seong-ju who had forced those memories back into him. He didn’t care about any consequences it might have on Cha Jae-woo, even if he was the son of a “discarded child”—He did it purely out of selfish ambition.
‘In the end, he probably thinks it’s fine as long as I survived.’
Cha Jae-woo understood Cha Seong-ju very well now. Even if he hadn’t before.
That’s why he could guess the real reason Cha Seong-ju had made him drink Feleil’s blood.
To find out if he was truly in his grasp. To confirm if he was lying—or loyal.
Cha Jae-woo kept spinning the flip phone around in his hand.
He had never been Cha Seong-ju’s “man.” Not even once.
Not even back then. Eighteen years ago. When he was just a ten-year-old kid—He hadn’t trusted Cha Seong-ju even then.
