Chapter 88
Gi Jeong-ah guided Taeri using the emergency exit, concerned that patients or guardians might spot him. The closer they got to the 3rd floor where Choi Junghyeok’s clinic was located, the more Taeri’s tension escalated to the point where the muscles in the back of his neck stood rigid.
[Pediatrics Choi Junghyeok]
His father hoped to see ‘Choi Taeri’s name carved there, but just reading the name written in front of the door left Taeri breathless. Taeri’s hatred for the medical profession stemmed from his family members. His parents who were doctors, along with his grandfather and numerous relatives, were both sensitive and arrogant. When surrounded by them, Taeri always felt so suffocated that he wanted to tear off all the clothes he was wearing and throw them away.
To escape from that tightly bound oppression, Taeri chose dance, and now because of his intense yearning for the stage that dance alone couldn’t satisfy, he decided to walk the path of an idol.
Fortunately, there were no patients around Director Choi Junghyeok’s clinic, so there was no need to worry about someone recognizing him.
When Taeri stood in front of the clinic, the nurse hurriedly opened the door as if she had been waiting.
Choi Junghyeok, who had been examining charts at his desk, looked up sharply through his glasses.
“Get out.”
When Choi Junghyeok’s flat voice rang out, the nurse bowed and left.
The clinic door closed, and Choi Junghyeok glared at Taeri while remaining seated at his desk. Meeting his gaze, Taeri removed the hood of the cloak that covered his head. It had been a long time since he faced his father alone in a closed space.
“Father.”
“Don’t even think about sitting. Stand there and talk, then leave.”
Before Taeri could even begin speaking, Choi Junghyeok stopped him.
“……”
Not even letting his son sit after he came to visit—that was so typical of Choi Junghyeok. He seemed to have no intention of listening to whatever his son had to say.
“I didn’t give permission, so there’s no need to be happy about it.”
“I wasn’t expecting it anyway.”
“Quietly do what you came to do and leave. I don’t want to see you acting like that in the same building.”
“……”
Taeri couldn’t bring himself to answer and just stared at Choi Junghyeok.
Choi Junghyeok seemed like someone who had studied how to hurt Taeri. While it wasn’t unexpected, it hurt just the same. No matter how familiar the verbal abuse was, these were words that cut deep to hear before a performance.
“Even if I don’t come in first, I’m going to continue this work. That’s what I came here to tell you.”
Taeri steeled his resolve and spoke firmly.
“I made it clear. If you don’t come in first, I have no intention of allowing it. You know very well that I’m already being very patient right now.”
Choi Junghyeok spoke while examining his charts, not even making eye contact with Taeri.
“Why?”
At Taeri’s question, Choi Junghyeok looked up sharply.
“Do you know why I’m leaving you alone? I’m pretending to tolerate it because your pathetic agency keeps bragging that you can come in first. If you don’t have the skills to come in first in such a trashy audition, then you’re just hopeless. If you were born under me, you should at least not become trash.”
“Why am I trash?”
Taeri felt anger surge up in an instant.
“Then prove that you’re not. As long as you’re crawling at the bottom like that, you’re trash to me.”
After finishing his words, Choi Junghyeok turned his gaze back to the charts. Taeri’s chin trembled.
He hadn’t come to fight. He hadn’t failed to expect this kind of reaction either. He just wanted to show his father his performance today.
That he was doing this much, that if his father saw his efforts and his performance just once, his father’s thoughts would change too.
However, reality wasn’t the flower garden Taeri had imagined. Far from a flower garden, he sank endlessly into a deep swamp where once you took one step, you couldn’t lift the other foot.
The conversation with his father was blocked by a wall, as always.
Let me just say what I need to say and go. Taeri resolved and opened his mouth again.
“……Even if you say that, Father, I’m going to do it. Please come watch today’s performance.”
“I have appointments. Even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t go. No father would watch with his eyes open as his son becomes a zoo monkey.”
“I’m not a zoo monkey!”
The anger Taeri couldn’t hold back burst from his mouth.
“To me, you’re just a son who’s gone crazy wanting to become a zoo monkey and can’t come to his senses.”
Taeri bit his lips for a moment. The tense atmosphere flowing between his father and himself. It would be more realistic for Taeri to enter medical school than to hope for anything from that man.
“……Fine. Take care.”
Choi Junghyeok didn’t acknowledge his son’s farewell and continued focusing only on his charts. Taeri left the clinic with a hardened expression. When he put his hood back on and blocked out sight and sound, terrible thoughts filled Taeri’s head.
The more earnest his dreams became, the more his father threw him to the ground and trampled on him. The disgusting contempt that could never be satisfied unless he became a doctor just like him. Even if he couldn’t become an idol and prepared for medical school entrance exams, nothing would change. Even if he got into medical school, if he couldn’t enter as valedictorian, he’d be treated like trash again.
Unless he entered Seoul National University’s medical school as valedictorian and graduated as valedictorian just like his father, his father would never be satisfied with Taeri.
“Ha, I’m sick of this, fuck……”
Taeri unknowingly muttered a curse.
* * *
When Taeri returned to the waiting room, his face was even more hardened than before. The younger members glanced at Taeri nervously, and while even Juha was being careful, Nam Suchang cheerfully approached him.
“Choi Taeri! You came home but what’s with that expression? Are you nervous? Relax. Hyung is right here. Wahaha.”
‘Please just shut……’
Juha bit his lips quietly while looking at Suchang. Other people couldn’t properly understand why Taeri was sensitive, so they made such clueless remarks.
As if that comment was a signal flare, Taeri suddenly smiled brightly. It was surprising how helpful a clueless but cheerful person could be at times like this.
“I guess I was a bit nervous. Let’s match up one more time for the last time.”
Taeri encouraged his team members with a smile as usual. Juha carefully observed whether there was another meaning behind his smile, but today especially, Taeri was unusually unreadable.
‘Let’s just finish today’s performance well first.’
When Juha thought he might make a mistake at this rate, he suddenly snapped to attention.
There was no rehearsal to prevent any possible disturbances. They practiced several times in the waiting room, checking their movements according to the stage size marked with tape, but as time approached, their nerves doubled.
Standing in front of ordinary people like this brought a different kind of fear from performing in front of judges or fans who liked them.
‘Will there be people who recognize me?’
As performance time drew near, Juha began to feel increasingly anxious.
It was 3 PM on a weekday. Usually, people would be at work or school. The key was how much audience response they could draw in a hospital where most people were patients or guardians.
Since this wasn’t an official competition and took a guerrilla format, the team rankings for this mission would be determined by the masters. They would likely focus more on the audience’s atmosphere than the stage’s originality or execution ability. Idols aren’t always given glamorous stages. Some groups even start performing at small-town festivals, company sports days, or high school gymnasiums. But idols, whose job it is to be on stage, can’t blame the stage or the audience’s level.
So giving their best to each stage given in this mission would ultimately become the foundation for success after debut.
“Time’s up.”
At the staff member’s words, the team members flinched as if by agreement. Before getting up, Juha secretly grabbed Taeri’s hand while hiding under his cloak. Surprised by Juha grabbing his hand, Taeri startled and was about to get up but sat back down instead.
“Don’t worry. I’m right here next to you.”
Juha looked at Taeri with eyes full of trust. It was a gaze that seemed reliable, as if no matter where or how he stumbled and crashed, Juha would support him and walk together with him. Taeri’s anxiously shaking pupils slowly regained stability.
“Yeah.”
Taeri stood up with a determined expression. Juha’s hand that had been secretly held under the cloak naturally slipped away. Though he knew this wasn’t the time to be holding hands, it was always regrettable when Juha’s hand slipped away.
* * *
When they went outside with their entire bodies covered by white cloaks and hoods pulled up, Taeri’s heart pounded strongly. Juha closely followed behind Taeri who was leading. Having Lee Juha behind him, beside him, anywhere he looked was a greater comfort than expected.
Even if he didn’t have parents to protect him, someone who would always come running when he was lonely. Lee Juha wasn’t just someone who would end up as a lovely boyfriend.
From the moment he first fell for Lee Juha when he saw him through the Serona Entertainment practice room window a year ago, to the day they met again at the My Idol audition. Taeri thought he had gone crazy.
He had signed with Fandom, but he would have had to wait at least another year or two to debut as a team. However, Taeri, who was already twenty years old, didn’t have time to wait another year or two while enduring tremendous pressure from his family. He joined My Idol with the expectation that he could debut immediately, and given various circumstances, he absolutely had to debut.
However, Taeri had fallen deeply for a man he had only seen once a year ago at this audition that his life depended on, and he still couldn’t come to his senses afterward. When he faced Juha again, his only thought was wanting to be with him.
Now, two months after holding him, Taeri realized that Lee Juha was an even better person than he had imagined. Everything about him was attractive, but he was especially humane, kind, honest about his emotions, and sincere in expressing those emotions. He empathized with even trivial emotions and cared for Taeri as a human being.
His father who only talked about coming in first and hurled verbal abuse, his mother who neglected her son with a hypocritical attitude. If Taeri failed in this audition, he would really have to enter medical school. However, the more he got to know Lee Juha, the more he thought he absolutely had to debut with him.
Perhaps if he hadn’t met Lee Juha dancing in the Serona practice room a year ago, Taeri might have given up on his idol dream early and entered medical school as if being chased. The person who decided his future. To Taeri, Lee Juha was someone that valuable.
Sometimes he felt afraid that someone might realize that Lee Juha was truly a good person and take him away. Taeri liked Lee Juha so much that he thought himself foolish for such thoughts.
The security guard walking ahead stopped. The stage was visible ahead. It was a small stage set up in a lobby where people passed by.
Taeri turned around under the pretense of checking his team members. Without fail, Lee Juha was looking at Taeri. Seeing those kind, serious, worried eyes directed only at him, even the hatred for his father that had been lurking in Taeri’s heart evaporated and disappeared.
“Let’s do well, everyone.”
When Taeri smiled and spoke, only then did Juha also smile faintly and nod. His ash blonde hair swayed along with the movement, making Juha’s face look even more radiant.
Right before the stage, staff members exchanged radio calls and people passing through the hospital began glancing at them after catching glimpses.
“Please enter the stage.”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
