Chapter 85
“Hyung, why?”
Eunwon blinked as he looked up at Juha. Previously there seemed to be about a 10cm difference so he had to tilt his neck back a bit when talking, but now Eunwon’s eye level matched Juha’s with just a slight upward glance.
Juha unconsciously tapped Eunwon’s crown. It wasn’t because of his hair.
“Did you maybe grow taller?”
When Juha asked, Eunwon smiled brightly.
“Hehe, I grew 4cm!”
“What…”
“Ah, hyung. Eunwon keeps looking down on me now saying he’s taller than me.”
Chaemyeong complained to Juha as if tattling.
Taeri was smiling fondly at Eunwon and Chaemyeong beside them when his expression suddenly hardened.
Since they were still young and inherently good-natured, Chaemyeong and Eunwon didn’t have much viciousness. Though their desire to debut was no different from others, fighting and suppressing others to win didn’t suit either of them by nature. Perhaps because of this, Eunwon and Chaemyeong always created good synergy when together, and results improved when Juha joined them.
From when they were first on the same team, Juha had always taken Eunwon along and cherished him. In a different sense from Taeri, Juha seemed to find comfort in Eunwon. Thanks to Eunwon’s bright energy, he could forget tension and fatigue, and having someone to care for instinctively boosted survival instincts, producing good results.
Unlike himself who only had Juha to rely on, seeing Juha depending on each other with Eunwon made Taeri both proud and fearful. It was a strange fear that Juha would live well even without him.
* * *
When Juha returned to his room after taking Taeri to his room, Yoo Youngin was already back. He was looking in the mirror lost in thought without even washing.
“What are you thinking about?”
When Juha spoke to him, he startled and came to his senses.
“Why do you come in so quietly? You scared me.”
“I came in making noise. You just didn’t hear. I’ll wash first.”
Juha took out clothes to change from his suitcase and dropped them on his bed. Having been tormented by practice all day, he had no mood to deal with Youngin’s petulance.
“Ju-Juha!”
“Huh? What?”
Juha was momentarily flustered by Youngin’s unexpected call. After calling him, Youngin hesitated for a long time with his eyes downcast, fidgeting with his hands.
“Ah, teach me some choreography.”
Youngin’s voice was barely audible.
“Choreography? What choreography? Didn’t your team modify the choreography?”
Juha bombarded him with questions in bewilderment. Though they were performing the same song, each team had made slight modifications, so learning choreography from other team members wouldn’t work.
“Since our audience is children and teenagers, we decided to just modify the original choreography’s movement for 7 people.”
Youngin spoke carefully while avoiding Juha’s eyes. Since he had done things, it would be embarrassing to make such a request to Juha.
‘He must have forgotten the choreography again.’
Even if he had forgotten choreography once, if he had practiced that hard, he should remember quickly, but Youngin didn’t seem to be the case.
Though he considered saying something, knowing that Yoo Youngin must have swallowed a lot of pride to make this request, Juha readily agreed.
“Which part isn’t working?”
“You know, here in the chorus after ‘I’m going to fly awaaay’ when you turn, from there it’s not going well.”
Youngin immediately showed the dance, as if afraid Juha might change his mind.
“There, when you turn, you need to kick the floor once with your foot and stop with a ‘thak’ so your center doesn’t shake. When you do the next movement, if only your upper body goes forward the movement won’t have power, so if you shift your lower body’s center of gravity itself like this, you can extend well without shaking even when putting strength to your fingertips.”
Juha demonstrated while explaining step by step.
“Like this, stop with a ‘thak’ then like this?”
Youngin immediately practiced following Juha. Perhaps because the situation was urgent, Youngin’s expression while dancing was quite serious.
“Yes, that’s right. Hyung, you’re doing well. Since it’s hard to just memorize choreography, if you remember the center of gravity shifting first then memorize the detailed choreography, your body will learn it much better.”
“Center of gravity…”
At Juha’s words, Youngin nodded as if gaining deep enlightenment.
“Are there other movements you can’t do?”
“Yeah, after that, in the second verse chorus where the choreography changes. Here, 180-degree turn, another 180-degree turn, then arms, arms like this…”
Youngin showed Juha the dance with all his effort, and Juha pointed out where Youngin got stuck and demonstrated. Considering how much they had been enemies until the last competition, it was surprising.
Thanks to this, Juha’s breath, which had barely calmed down, became short again.
“Anything else you can’t do?”
“Heh, it’s okay now.”
Youngin answered with a smile filled with relief.
“Then I’ll wash first.”
“Yeah. I’ll practice a bit more until you finish washing.”
Youngin soon focused on movements while looking in the mirror. Juha glanced at the observation camera. The camera that had been blinking red went off as if announcing 10 o’clock.
He briefly wondered if Youngin knew they were filming and this was part of his plan, but it was also true that his dancing had been lacking.
‘The AI evaluation must have been quite a blow.’
Since Yoo Youngin had so many anti-fans, when the AI rankings aired, it was predictable how eagerly they would criticize Youngin again. Moreover, though Youngin was on the same team as Na Junho this time, the rest of his teammates were all minors. So he couldn’t cling to team leader Na Junho asking to be looked after, nor could he grab the younger members asking to be taught.
Most of all, not blending in with his teammates during breakfast was also unlike the original Yoo Youngin. In various ways, Yoo Youngin’s current state was strangely off from Juha’s expectations.
Imagining Youngin’s feelings as he even crushed his pride to make this request made Juha feel bitter.
But no matter how he thought about it, it didn’t make sense. No matter how much his lack of skill was covered by his looks, Yoo Youngin had placed 2nd in the first audition and finished the 2nd competition reasonably well, so his skills should have improved.
Even when his death match partner Choi Musin was 8th in this AI evaluation, Youngin being 13th didn’t fit in various ways.
‘He’s making me really curious.’
Juha shook his head alone and finished his shower.
* * *
When Juha came out after washing, sweaty and grimy Yoo Youngin gathered his clothes and entered the bathroom.
While lightly drying his hair and organizing his luggage, Youngin soon finished his shower and came out with a much paler face.
“Hey, don’t do useless things at night and just do this.”
Youngin tossed a mask pack and Shrek headband at Juha.
“…Do it for me.”
Juha held the two items Youngin had given him and stood up abruptly, holding them out to him.
“Ah, really such a high-maintenance bastard.”
After applying his own pack neatly, Youngin approached him. When Juha sat on the bed and raised his head as if he had been waiting, Youngin personally put the Shrek headband on him and took out the pack. Being cared for by Yoo Youngin as a younger brother didn’t feel too bad.
“But hyung, didn’t your parents oppose when you said you’d become an idol?”
“My parents were fucking happy about it? My mom and dad said if I just lost weight, they’d let me do whatever I wanted except going to court.”
Youngin rattled off his story while smoothing out the pack bunched at Juha’s chin. Taking this opportunity, Juha asked what he had been curious about all along.
“Hyung, but did you make some mistake during the AI evaluation?”
“…”
Suddenly Yoo Youngin’s touch stopped and shadows fell on his face.
‘Did I touch something wrong?’
Seeing that expression, Juha became inwardly tense.
“Just, suddenly standing alone in front of the camera was scary.”
‘Huh?’
Juha momentarily doubted his ears.
Yoo Youngin was a trainee who played with cameras better than anyone. Youngin, who knew his appearance’s strengths well and enjoyed being on camera more than anyone, saying such things was completely unexpected.
“What’s scary about it? Does the camera eat you?”
“The camera doesn’t eat me, but people who see me on screen hate me…”
Yoo Youngin trailed off.
‘This hyung, don’t tell me…’
An ominous premonition ran down his spine.
Juha suddenly remembered the curses about Yoo Youngin that had filled the message boards after the last broadcast. Even just seeing the titles was chilling with how full they were of ‘Youngdae’ curses. If it felt bad even for him as an outsider, if Youngin as the person involved had seen them, they would definitely have been terrible.
Juha gathered his thoughts and spoke again.
“Who hates you?”
“Just… everyone hates me. Everyone curses me. Because of me, even fans who like me get cursed at.”
From Youngin’s increasingly dejected expression, Juha realized he had read all the curses about himself circulating on the internet.
“It’s not the first time anyway. Everyone’s hated me since I was little. What’s so surprising about that… But standing alone in front of the camera was a bit scary.”
He had acted so shamelessly that everyone thought he was fine. But Yoo Youngin had pretended to be okay on the outside, pretended to have overcome it all, while piling it up bit by bit in one corner of his heart.
Well, it wasn’t at a level that could be easily forgotten. Though it had weakened a lot compared to the early period when past photos were exposed, malicious comments mocking him as Youngdae were still common, and when Youngin’s AI ranking came out in this broadcast, the intensity of malicious comments would obviously get worse.
“I’m used to it. You hate me too anyway.”
Yoo Youngin gave a self-deprecating smile and glanced at Juha. Seeing he couldn’t even meet Juha’s eyes, Youngin was in serious condition.
“I don’t hate you though?”
“Don’t lie, bastard.”
Youngin’s lips twitched as if he didn’t dislike Juha’s answer.
“Hyung, do you know who hates you right now? Have you seen them?”
“I don’t know. How would I know that?”
“Hyung, you don’t need to try so hard to be loved even by people who hate you. They can hate you. You don’t like everyone else either. You hate me too.”
“I don’t hate you, bastard!”
Youngin burst out angrily then seemed surprised at himself and shut his mouth tight. It was such an intense reaction that the pack on his face rippled.
“You, you don’t have many antis so you wouldn’t understand my feelings.”
Youngin tried to change the subject and cover up his intense confession.
“Like you said, I’ve never been bullied as a kid, never been ugly, and even now I don’t have as many antis as you, so I don’t know exactly how you feel.”
“Such a fucking honest bastard…”
Yoo Youngin glared at Juha slightly and cursed.
“But you have more fans.”
“…”
Yoo Youngin silently stared at Juha. Because there was absolutely nothing to refute.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
