10.
During his trainee days that spanned his entire adolescence, Juha’s romantic life was thoroughly blocked. At school, he received countless gifts and letters from female students. But Juha’s line was always clear.
I will become a truly famous person later. So I must never cause any trouble.
It was the same at the company where he lived as a trainee.
Though female trainees and male trainees were thoroughly separated, there was no reason they couldn’t meet if they wanted to. No matter how much the company pushed dating prohibition clauses, they were all at their prime age and met well on their own.
Even in the midst of all that, Juha silently fulfilled his duties as a trainee.
Seeing Lee Juha not even glance at female trainees, everyone teased him calling him old-fashioned or Heungseon Daewongun, but he didn’t budge at the slightest temptation.
However, Juha’s heart clumsily turned toward a senior trainee hyung who used the same practice room. He suffered from fever for several years, but when the senior quit being a trainee, Juha’s feelings faded.
After that, his current state.
His past unrequited love was close to Juha’s own self-satisfaction. He’d been intoxicated by the fact that his heart was directed somewhere.
However, the emotions he felt toward Choi Taeri now were definitely different. Lee Juha now froze completely just from seeing Choi Taeri’s face.
Just a touch of fingertips made him startled as if burned by fire, and seeing his gaze made his heart beat like a seizure.
Most of all, watching him made him want to run away. Or he wanted to stop right there and gaze endlessly.
He wanted to touch him and mix bodies so badly he thought he’d go crazy. While afraid someone might know this heart, he wished Choi Taeri would notice that heart and approach first.
But when he actually approached, he’d get scared and hide.
The reason Taeri was especially kind to Juha was, as always, business-related. He was afraid that if his dark heart was discovered, Choi Taeri might suddenly change his attitude.
‘I’m crazy…’
Juha made a groaning sound with his teeth clenched tight.
Falling into such unrequited love at a point when episode 1 of ‘My Job is Idol’ hadn’t even aired yet was insane.
Lying in the same bed now, if he turned around right away, Choi Taeri would be breathing beside him.
Let’s sleep embracing like that today as you said. But I can’t sleep with just that much. I want to imagine and do more with you. I want to confirm how Yeonsangun played as you said. Could you handle it?
In his heart, he wanted to cross the bed, approach, and just blurt it all out. But he couldn’t.
If he impulsively threw away the last chance of his life to achieve his dream, he’d regret throwing the past 6 years and present into the gutter.
Because of one same-age man he’d shared a room with for just a week in his 20-year-old life, who would soon pass by.
Only three nights remained.
He’d rather change rooms quickly.
He could only wait for this fever that had deepened from being too close to cool down. Just wait for the days to be crossed out one by one.
‘Sleeping together is dangerous.’
With three more nights remaining, anything could happen.
Juha feared himself more than Choi Taeri. From tomorrow, Juha firmly resolved never to fall asleep in the same bed with Taeri.
* * *
The practice that had been conducted by teams now matched formations with everyone from today. With 80 people moving together, the movement lines overlapped and it was chaotic.
It was almost like mass games done at old field days or national events.
The 80 people all had different skill levels and different physiques, so there was no unity. They got cursed at a lot and finished practice exhausted to the limit.
Their whole bodies were drenched in sweat, which was unpleasant. Just today alone, he felt like he’d heard the same song about 800 times. Even though the sound system was all turned off, the chorus was buzzing in Juha’s ears.
[Look at me, look at me, Look at me
Feel it, feel it, feel me]
“Ugh…”
Just thinking of the chorus made Juha’s teeth chatter.
It wasn’t even a particularly good melody, and being a hook song with strong addictiveness was the worst.
He felt like he’d think of it when eating, when showering, even before sleeping. He even thought that when this song came out into the world, it might ascend to become the crown prince of college entrance exam forbidden songs.
‘Having to do this again tomorrow.’
After practice ended, Juha was in a state of almost losing his mind. How many times would he have to repeat this until stage filming and showcase?
While watching the trainees leave the hall in a dazed state, he suddenly came to his senses at the sound of someone calling him.
“Lee Juha!”
It was Choi Taeri.
‘Shit…’
Juha cursed internally. He’d secretly left first in the morning to avoid meeting him, but got caught while spacing out after practice ended.
Choi Taeri ran over and stood beside Juha.
This bastard must have a sachet in his body – even when sweating, he didn’t smell unpleasant. They’d practiced equally for 8 hours, so it was mysterious how only Choi Taeri could be so undisturbed and aloof.
“Let’s go up to the room together.”
When Taeri tried to put his arm around his shoulders, Juha reflexively dodged away.
“I sweated a lot…”
Though he made excuses, it showed in Juha’s expression.
This kind of attention is too uncomfortable.
“…I see.”
Choi Taeri’s eyes suddenly hardened.
Since he was right in front of him, he couldn’t openly avoid him, so he had no choice but to walk side by side. Before speaking, Juha glanced around. Just then, staff were removing cameras from the corridor and elevator.
“Today was really tough. Were you okay?”
“I’m really going to sleep on the sofa from today.”
Without answering Taeri’s question, which seemed to be trying to change the atmosphere, Juha made a bombshell declaration.
Choi Taeri’s eyes widened. It seemed like completely unexpected words.
“…Why?”
“I said from the beginning that I wanted to sleep on the sofa.”
“Don’t tell me it’s because of my pranks?”
Yes.
“It’s not like that.”
“Then why? Why insist on it?”
“…”
Juha hesitated for a moment.
He needed to be firm so he wouldn’t do such things again, while also speaking so Taeri wouldn’t be hurt.
“Men doing that to men is actually uncomfortable for me. If you really want to debut with me, I’d like you to treat me seriously.”
Level control failure.
This wasn’t how he’d intended to shoot back. After blurting out the words, Juha hurriedly checked Taeri’s expression in his moment of panic.
“What to do? I was hoping you’d accept my pranks.”
Choi Taeri grinned as if it was nothing.
This bastard…
Juha clenched his fist tight.
Rather than being angry at his insincere attitude, he was scared. The more the pranks continued, the more he felt like he’d believe his temptation was sincere.
“If you’re not going to do it for real, don’t even start such pranks.”
Juha spat out strongly and got on the elevator first.
* * *
Embarrassingly after making such bold statements, the arriving elevator was completely empty. Juha had no choice but to board the empty elevator with Taeri.
“…”
“…”
Though it didn’t take dozens of minutes to reach the top floor, only cold silence circulated inside.
Juha pretended to check the mirror while stealing glances at Taeri.
Unlike Choi Taeri who always held his neck straight like a protagonist and kept his gaze upward, he was examining the patternless elevator floor. The clean gray floor without even footprints.
From that, Juha felt it.
Choi Taeri was now reading Juha’s mood.
He’d never seen Choi Taeri become so timid like this. It was strangely refreshing, while also feeling strange to think that he was at least concerned about his words.
At the end of the dry silence, Taeri opened his mouth first.
“Sorry, I’ll apologize.”
Though it was an unusually dejected voice, he didn’t lose Choi Taeri’s characteristic confidence.
Juha’s frozen heart gradually thawed. He hadn’t wanted to hear an apology, but actually hearing it made his heart flutter like water plants.
It was a decision he’d made, so it couldn’t be resolved this easily. Juha straightened his heart again.
“I’m sorry for speaking harshly, but I don’t have the luxury to fool around with you on this program.”
Juha spoke with a sigh.
“Me too. I don’t have the mind to fool around either.”
With Taeri’s words, the ding sound announcing the elevator’s arrival rang.
“Then you just need to behave properly.”
Juha coldly threw the words and got off the elevator first.
Another level control failure.
Despite the apology, his tone didn’t come out nicely.
Honestly, he also had a desire to see how far Choi Taeri would be intimidated. He expected him to be hurt by his words.
As if responding to Juha’s expectation, Taeri followed him down with drooped shoulders and downcast gaze.
Seeing the great Choi Taeri like that and dejected was somewhat satisfying.
* * *
After entering the room and each washing up and preparing for sleep, the two had little to say. After practicing for 8 hours straight and relaxing, they didn’t want to do anything anymore.
They didn’t even want to care about observation cameras. Though the relationship between them might look awkward, it was a situation where they could excuse it as being due to exhaustion.
Having to calculate cameras for every action was no ordinary bothersome task.
Juha shook his wet hair and looked around various parts of the penthouse. Since they’d left early in the morning and returned late at night, the only places he’d used so far were the bed and bathroom.
Fortunately, there were several additional blankets in the storage cabinet at the entrance. Juha took a blanket and headed to the sofa.
The sofa looked like it would be sufficient for tall Juha to stretch his legs and lie down. Juha shook out the blanket and laid it on the sofa. Being a blanket for two, it was big and heavy.
Taeri, who had been watching his actions throughout, quietly approached Juha.
“Are you really going to sleep on the sofa?”
“Yeah.”
Juha answered firmly without even looking at him. Absolutely, no matter what happened, from today he wouldn’t share a blanket with Choi Taeri.
Juha placed the pillow around the armrest area of the sofa and lay down. The cushion was good, and the comfort of using it alone was the greatest.
‘I should have slept like this from the start.’
He even thought it was better than the bed. Most of all, he liked that he wouldn’t be shaken by Choi Taeri anymore.
Taeri stood beside him and watched until Juha covered himself with the blanket.
“What are you staring at so much?”
“I really won’t pull pranks. So sleep on the bed.”
Taeri answered dejectedly like a dog waiting for its owner in the rain.
It really didn’t suit him, but it wasn’t too bad to see. Of course, his heart also swayed like water plants again.
Among the trainees in this program, Lee Juha would be the only one who could do something like bossing around Choi Taeri.
Finding himself feeling superior over such a trivial thing was ridiculous, and the corners of his mouth kept trying to rise.
“Taeri.”
“Yeah?”
When Juha called his name, Taeri’s pupils sparkled with expectation.
“Good night.”
Giving exactly the opposite answer to that expectation, Juha covered himself with the blanket up to the top of his head.
Taeri, who had been frozen in front of Juha, couldn’t continue speaking and turned around. He dragged his heavy footsteps, turned off the lights, and flopped down on the bed to cover himself with the blanket alone – the sound somehow felt pitiful.
Juha blinked his eyes in the darkness after the lights went out.
‘Was I too harsh?’
Thinking about it, Taeri had no reason to cling to Juha asking to sleep together.
He was probably just sorry for playing pranks. If he shot back like that and slept on the sofa, Taeri would think Juha was really angry.
So be it.
Strictly speaking, he wasn’t angry at Choi Taeri, but was pushing him away because he’d fallen for Choi Taeri.
Suddenly he remembered the cameras he’d forgotten about. This situation was material that would be tasty to edit as discord.
‘What if they ask in interviews? Should I coordinate our stories?’
Since it was Choi Taeri who created this situation by pulling excessive pranks, even if he suggested coordinating stories, he’d easily accept.
The daily life of caring about cameras until just before sleeping was truly exhausting.
Covering himself abundantly with the thick blanket for two people almost like hugging it, Juha gradually felt suffocated. Just as he was about to lower the blanket slightly, Taeri quietly got up from the bed.
Juha quickly covered himself with the blanket and pretended to sleep with his eyes closed.
Taeri’s footsteps, which he’d thought were going to the bathroom, suddenly approached the sofa. In proportion to the approaching distance, Juha’s heartbeat quickened.
‘What, why is he coming here…’
It hadn’t been long since he’d made a big fuss, but he felt like his heart would be discovered again. Juha did his best to keep his eyes tightly shut.
The closer he came, the more Taeri’s silk pajamas spread a good rustling scent. Choi Taeri’s unique scent that only came right after showering.
Cool and clean, with a sweet end. It was a familiar scent he always smelled when sleeping in the same bed.
Taeri sat on the single sofa next to the long sofa where Juha was lying.
“Lee Juha, are you asleep?”
Choi Taeri’s voice ringing through the darkness.
That ordinary question strangely sounded desperate and lonely. Like a sad child sleeping alone, it made his heart waver.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
