Sugar Boy v3c21

“You must have seen everything… all the filthy things I did to survive… all those disgusting, nauseating acts… you must have seen it all…”

Tae-gu, who had momentarily lost track of the conversation due to the unexpected words, caught up with Geun-yeong’s thoughts again. Now, he understood who had seen what.

He recalled that there were assault videos from surveillance cameras that man had installed himself. He had seen news debating whether those videos contained scenes of sexual assault. With the media constantly discussing such sensational topics to cater to viewers’ tastes, it was impossible not to know about it. And it seemed to be true. Those videos apparently contained everything this kid had done to survive. And the first person to see the collected footage would have been, quite obviously, the man who had told him to try living, who had gotten him out of that house, and whom the kid had come to cherish.

“…I regret asking you to catch him… I regret creating that situation and asking you to catch that man… I regret it so much… I should have just said I’d stay in that house… I should have just lived there until I died…”

Ah…

Unless he had suddenly developed rhinitis, the sniffling sound was probably the kid crying with his face buried in his knees.

Compassion welled up in Tae-gu’s chest. It hurt. It was terribly pitiful and sad that this kid, who had bravely tried to keep living, now wanted to die. And for what? Because of some human who wore leather jackets while drinking straight liquor and chain-smoking.

A large hand, filled with genuine sympathy, was placed on the trembling and sobbing kid’s head. Feeling the warmth of that hand, Geun-yeong finally broke down into full-blown tears.

* * *

Geun-yeong fell asleep, exhausted from crying.

Bong Tae-hee might pretend to be weak, but Bong Tae-gu was never weak. Picking up the skinny kid was no effort at all. Tae-gu carried Geun-yeong in a “princess carry” to the room. He laid him next to Professor Baek Moonjong, who was a heavy snorer. How sad must he have been that even in his sleep, the corners of his mouth were turned down? Tae-gu gently patted him.

As soon as he left the room, he made a phone call. Frowning at the singing sound coming from the other end of the line, he asked,

“Where are you right now? I need to see you immediately.”

[…I’m working.]

There was a long pause before the answer came. It meant he was caught off guard, but it didn’t matter. Tae-gu had no intention of reporting that they had eaten stir-fried pork, but this issue needed to be resolved right away. That lovable person had fallen asleep after crying his eyes out, and he couldn’t just ignore the situation.

“Who doesn’t know you’re working? I’ll come to you, just tell me where you are.”

[…..]

Whether he was speechless or not didn’t matter. That young thing wanted to die. That kid who had lived so bravely through such difficult circumstances wanted to die because of someone who worked overnight at a club. He couldn’t just stand by and watch.

Tae-gu wanted to strangle himself for having found the situation amusing, calling it “mutual.” He hadn’t realized how serious it was.

Jiho had spotted two men who not only resembled the sketches of the reported suspects but also looked visibly high from the moment they entered the club, and he was monitoring them.

But he had to briefly leave the club after receiving a message that Bong Tae-gu was right outside. Since it wasn’t peak time yet, he left Hyeonho in charge, warning him not to get distracted or stare too obviously and risk getting caught. If it had been Lee Dongjae, whom he usually worked with, such warnings wouldn’t be necessary, but Lee Hyeonho had joined the violent crimes unit just a few months ago, so he couldn’t be fully trusted. Still, since only Kyung Jiho and the team’s youngest, Lee Hyeonho, had the right looks for clubbing, there was no choice. He couldn’t bring Lee Dongjae and risk muddying the waters.

For that reason, with an uneasy feeling at his back, Jiho spotted the large shadow of Tae-gu standing across the street in the alley and immediately crossed the road with almost running steps.

“What is it? What’s going on?”

Tae-gu glared at Jiho, who was checking their surroundings to make sure no one was watching before turning his attention to him. Compared to Bong Tae-gu’s usual demeanor, it was quite a cold expression and gaze. Recognizing this, Jiho’s right eye narrowed with suspicion.

“What’s wrong?”

With his mind racing between the situation inside and the strange expression of the man before him, Jiho asked again.

Though it was an important matter, Tae-gu decided not to waste time since the other person was on duty. He asked without preamble,

“That kid you said makes your heart race when you look at him, what are you going to do about it?”

“What?”

It was absurd that this was what he came to ask while Jiho was working. Jiho’s face, considerably startled, scrunched up even more. It was quite a frightening expression, but the man had no intention of backing down out of fear and asked again.

“What are you planning to do?”

“Why are you curious about that right n—”

“I asked first. Don’t ask me back and just answer how you’re going to handle it. My answer depends on yours.”

Instead of answering, Jiho crossed his arms. He studied the face that seemed unfamiliar despite knowing each other for years and reflected on what he had said. It seemed he had discovered something and came to confront him about it. The people he had left at home were Professor Baek Moonjong and Ji Geun-yeong. Since he wouldn’t be questioning him about Professor Baek Moonjong’s affairs, it must be about Ji Geun-yeong. What on earth had happened after he left the house?

Seeing that the man seemed to have figured something out with his detective’s eyes, Tae-gu changed his question.

“If you’re thinking of just burying this because the other person is a man, because he’s a victim of sexual violence, if that’s what’s holding you back, then I have nothing more to say to you.”

With his eyes still narrowed, Jiho let out a slight mocking laugh, then with a completely serious face, he said,

“You’re right that I was going to bury it because he’s a man and a victim of sexual violence.”

Tae-gu’s eyes sharpened momentarily. The man, who had become even more serious, continued.

“But not for the reasons you’re thinking.”

It was certainly difficult to accept feeling attracted to someone who was clearly a man. But the reason he had tried to suppress those feelings wasn’t because the kid was a man, and moreover, because he knew everything that bastard of an adoptive father had done—not just knowing, but having had to watch all the footage containing those scenes.

“Then what is it?”

Tae-gu pressed, and Jiho uncrossed his arms and shoved his hands into his pants pockets. He didn’t know how much this guy knew about Ji Geun-yeong’s past. Did he know everything the kid had written in his statement? Probably not. If he did, he wouldn’t have come here demanding an immediate answer. Avoiding Tae-gu’s persistent gaze, he looked away. Staring at the empty wall in the dark alley, he said,

“The kid already has so many wounds,”

It had started from a very young age. In a male body, he had been sexually abused by his adoptive father. The mental pain and resulting wounds he must have suffered wouldn’t have healed yet.

“I’m afraid he might get hurt because of me,”

If at this time another man, especially a detective who had been in charge of the case, was revealed to have had other intentions, what would the kid think? He didn’t need to put himself in the kid’s shoes to know.

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”

He was afraid that if he took the first step, it would lead to a breakdown in their relationship. He didn’t want to lose someone he wanted to continue knowing in the future because he couldn’t control his immediate desires.

He let out a deep sigh.

Actually, there was one more reason, but he decided not to mention it. There were already more than enough reasons not to approach him.

“So I was just going to bury it.”

Jiho met Tae-gu’s eyes again. Tae-gu, who had been searching for lies or deception in those eyes, smiled slightly.

“Right. I thought so. That’s the kind of person you are. The Detective Kyung I know.”

Nodding for a while, Tae-gu let out a sigh so deep it seemed like the ground might cave in. The weight of the truth he now had to convey felt overwhelming. It wasn’t something the kid had consented to share when he poured his heart out while drunk. That was worrying, but he still had to do it. He tried to smile to ease the tension, but with a face that showed not a hint of playfulness, he said,

“Geun-yeong says he wants to die because of you.”

“What!”

Jiho’s shout echoed through the alley. The gazes of two or three passersby avoiding cars gathered and then dispersed. The detective’s eyes, which had been scanning for any watchers, had disappeared, leaving only the panic-stricken eyes of a man worried about someone he liked.

“He said that because of you, he wanted to live again and escaped with the determination to die, but when he came to his senses and thought about it, he realized you had seen all the videos. So he thinks it could never work with you. Because of that, he wants to die again. Geun-yeong likes you that much.”

Earlier, had he said he was dumbfounded by the sudden question? He realized that was just words. Jiho was truly dumbfounded now. He was dumbfounded by the thoughts in that boy’s head, and by his own dullness for not noticing it at all.

Just then, his phone vibrated with a message. It would be Lee Hyeonho. It would probably be about the guys they were watching who had picked up women, and while it certainly wasn’t more important than this matter, he had to check it.

Tae-gu, whose perception was far beyond merely being quick, recognized the situation even though the other person hadn’t taken out his phone, and said:

“Go check it. Geun-yeong was sobbing all evening but now he’s passed out asleep.”

“S-sobbing, you say?”

“You think Geun-yeong would talk about such things with a smile?”

Of course not, but still. Not just shedding tears, but sobbing? Jiho, who was familiar with the sound of the boy sobbing, felt his heart ache even more.

“Anyway, even if you barge into the house right now and say something, it won’t be more effective than the professor’s snoring,”

Tae-gu examined the expression of the man whose already frightening appearance had become even more impressively crumpled. After the momentary surprise of learning that the boy he’d been trying to bury in his heart also liked him, his face now seemed to show pain at hearing that the boy had sobbed because of him. Yet wondering how even that face could be so scary, Tae-gu continued:

“For now, just work. Then, come by tomorrow morning when the sun is properly up. Don’t make him cry again by coming in while he’s half-asleep with messy hair after passing out drunk.”