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#If You Don’t Want It
They had dinner through room service. Hayun suggested going to the hotel restaurant, but Dawoon refused. When Dawoon said he didn’t want to go out, Hayun didn’t press further. Even the food that came via room service, Dawoon barely touched.
“You’ll get malnourished,” Hayun sighed instead of telling him to eat more.
“How long have I been starving?” Dawoon replied, remembering his volunteer work in Tanzania. The children there ate far less than he did. Yet they all had bright smiles. They seemed happier than Dawoon, Hayun, and the people of Haedo Group who had lived without any lack.
The people there would laugh if they heard about getting malnourished from not eating properly for just a few days.
“You should eat properly. You need to take your medicine too.”
Even though Hayun said it was just a scratch, the hospital had prescribed medicine. However, Hayun wouldn’t take it unless Dawoon was there to remind him, saying it wasn’t necessary.
As soon as they finished eating, Dawoon got up, brought the medicine packet, and held it out to Hayun along with water.
“I think something else would make me feel better faster than medicine,” Hayun said, staring at Dawoon as he took the pill. Dawoon blinked, meeting his gaze, unsure what he meant.
“You’re so dense,” Hayun said, grabbing Dawoon’s arm and pulling him close, causing Dawoon to lean forward. Their faces were close enough to touch.
“Don’t you want to?” Hayun asked, but their lips were already nearly touching. When Dawoon didn’t say anything, Hayun’s other hand cupped the back of his head. With a slight pull, their lips met.
Hayun’s tongue parted Dawoon’s lips and tapped against his teeth. When Dawoon slightly opened his mouth, Hayun’s tongue pushed in, wrapping around Dawoon’s. A low moan escaped as Hayun sucked hard enough to make the base of Dawoon’s tongue tingle. Hayun’s arm moved down to Dawoon’s waist, pulling him closer. This caused Dawoon to end up sitting on Hayun’s thigh.
Their lips pressed together more firmly. As the kiss lengthened, Dawoon felt dizzy. Just when he thought Hayun had released his tongue, he felt Hayun licking thoroughly, from the roof of his mouth to under his tongue. It felt as if his entire mouth had become an erogenous zone. Every touch sent tingles through his body, spreading heat.
“Mmph, wait. Mmm!”
Dawoon felt a heaviness in his lower abdomen and blood rushing to his groin. Embarrassed by his reaction to just a kiss, he tried to push Hayun away, but with the back of his head held, he couldn’t create any distance.
Seeming to realize Dawoon was aroused, Hayun’s kiss became more intense. With their lips locked tightly, Hayun ravaged the inside of Dawoon’s mouth. Finding it hard to breathe, Dawoon repeatedly pushed at Hayun’s shoulders and turned his head to the side, barely managing to part his lips and gasp for air. This time, Hayun backed off willingly. However, they were still close enough to feel each other’s breath.
“I…” Dawoon opened his mouth but was still too breathless to continue. In truth, he didn’t even know what he wanted to say.
Hayun’s eyes, which had been on Dawoon’s face, slowly moved downward. Following his gaze, Dawoon was startled to see his arousal poking at Hayun’s abdomen.
“How naughty,” Hayun whispered in Dawoon’s ear, wrapping an arm around his neck and pulling him close. Feeling his face flush hot, Dawoon tried to pull away, but the arm around his waist pulled him even closer. Now his arousal was rubbing directly against Hayun’s abdomen.
“Your arm, ngh!”
Dawoon’s upper body jerked as Hayun’s lips touched his nape. The sensation of hot breath and soft lips against his sensitive skin was too vivid. His body was heating up faster than he expected. The warmth of another person’s touch after so long was spreading through his body at a frightening speed.
Now even the slightest brush of fingers on his waist made him twitch. Just as he unconsciously reached out to wrap his arms around Hayun’s neck, Hayun straightened up, creating distance between them.
“See? Better than medicine, right?” Hayun smiled gently at Dawoon before naturally standing up. This caused Dawoon, who had been sitting on his lap, to stand as well.
“I’m going to have some wine. Want some?”
Dawoon stood dazed, watching Hayun open the wine refrigerator. The heat that had flared up seemed to have awkwardly halted.
Is this it? We’re not going further?
His lips moved, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask out loud. Although he had initiated seduction before, he didn’t want to do so now. Even during their stay in Goseong after returning to Korea, Hayun hadn’t touched Dawoon.
Why…? Why won’t he touch me?
Suddenly realizing this fact, Dawoon became confused.
“Why are you just standing there? Do you have something to say?” Hayun asked, turning around after uncorking the bottle and pouring it into a glass.
“Well…” Dawoon wasn’t sure how to explain. He chewed on his lower lip and swallowed dryly. The words lingering in his mouth were something he absolutely couldn’t say.
Hayun, who had been quietly watching, held out the wine glass to Dawoon.
“Not drinking?”
Why did Jeong Hayun seem so oblivious today of all days? Dawoon frowned and turned his head away. He didn’t know how to respond to this behavior from someone who usually pushed forward aggressively without waiting for Dawoon to express his desire.
“Or,” Hayun set the wine glass down on the side table. “Do you want something else?”
Dawoon’s face flushed at the follow-up question. So he did know after all.
“No,” Dawoon turned around, feeling too embarrassed to face Hayun. However, before he could take a step, his wrist was caught. Before he could shake it off, his body was pulled back.
“What are you doing?” Dawoon turned his head to see Hayun’s grinning face as his back pressed against Hayun’s chest.
“Say it yourself.”
“Say what?”
“What you want right now.”
“…I don’t want anything like that.”
As Dawoon stubbornly answered and looked forward, Hayun turned him around to face him. Forced to meet Hayun’s gaze again as Hayun lifted his chin.
“If you don’t say it, I won’t do it. Not now, not in the future.”
Dawoon stared at him with tightly closed lips, wondering what kind of sulking this was. Hayun’s eyes and expression were too serious for this to be simple sulking or teasing.
“I won’t push you like I have until now. You choose. Just like you chose to stay by my side, you choose whether to take this step further.”
At Hayun’s quiet voice, Dawoon clenched his jaw. This wasn’t simply asking if he wanted to have sex with Jeong Hayun. It meant he wouldn’t tolerate sex that was done as if pushed by Jeong Hayun or using him as an excuse.
Staying by his side could be done as brothers. But accepting sex voluntarily was equivalent to definitively defining their relationship as lovers. Understanding Hayun’s intention all too well, Dawoon couldn’t speak hastily.
“If you don’t want it, I’ll never touch you.”
As if to prove his words, Hayun released Dawoon and stepped back. With that one step of distance, something felt anxious.
He’s really mean. It would have been better if he just acted on his own like before. Then it would have been enough to pretend to give in reluctantly.
As Dawoon remained silent, Hayun smiled faintly and reached for the wine glass he had put down. Dawoon squeezed his eyes shut and grabbed Hayun’s hand as it moved towards the wine glass. He felt Hayun’s gaze fixed on his face, but he couldn’t open his eyes.
What am I doing now?
Why am I hesitating at this point?
Conflicting feelings tangled inside him.
“…Don’t,” Dawoon barely moved his lips to make a sound, but Hayun tilted his head with narrowed eyes, seemingly not hearing properly.
“Don’t stop here. If you’ve aroused someone, you should take responsibility to the end…!”
Before Dawoon could finish speaking, Hayun pulled him towards the bedroom. The strong force almost made Dawoon lose his balance, but he managed to steady himself. However, by the time he came to his senses, he was already lying on the bed.
“This is what you wanted,” Hayun said in a growling voice as he straddled Dawoon and looked down at him. In an instant, his eyes gleamed with desire. It was amazing how he had managed to hide this intense desire until just moments ago.
Leaning down, Hayun buried his lips in Dawoon’s neck. Simultaneously, a hand slipped under Dawoon’s shirt and grazed his nipple, causing Dawoon’s upper body to jerk up with a short moan. In an instant, the shirt was pulled over Dawoon’s head. Hayun pressed his thigh firmly against Dawoon’s groin. The area that had slightly calmed down now throbbed with renewed heat at the stimulation.
“Don’t press…” Dawoon tried to twist his hips to escape from under Hayun, but couldn’t move as he wished. Instead, Hayun took advantage of the slight parting of Dawoon’s legs to position himself between them, preventing Dawoon from closing them again.
“Dawoon,” Hayun’s low voice resonated near Dawoon’s ear. Mixed with the sound of kisses on his earlobe, it made Dawoon’s head fuzzy.
“I love you.”
At the quiet confession, Dawoon’s heart clenched tightly. He still couldn’t give any answer. Closing his eyes and steadying his breath, Dawoon wrapped his arms around Hayun’s neck, pulling him closer. Hayun’s hands urgently caressed various parts of Dawoon’s body. Every touch of his fingertips ignited flames of passion.
As their lips met, their tongues intertwined, repeating wet sounds. Before they knew it, all their clothes had fallen to the floor beside the bed. It felt like they might be consumed by the heat of their touching bodies. No, they had already been consumed long ago.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
