130.
#Heart
It was later than expected. Last night, when he came out after washing up, it wasn’t even 9 PM. But now it was noon… He had slept for nearly 15 hours, well over half a day.
Unbelievable.
Recently, he hadn’t slept more than five or six hours a day. Even though he had nothing to do and no one was rushing him, he couldn’t fall asleep easily at night, and even when he finally did, he would naturally wake up in the morning. It was the same even when he was traveling around Africa, doing volunteer work and being quite active.
When he closed his eyes, the first thing that came to mind was Jeong Hayun’s face. Not just the suffocating feeling of being by his side or the sense of betrayal from his lies, but all sorts of everyday scenes repeated endlessly like a panorama.
The more he tried not to think about it, the clearer it became. So eventually, he just let the thoughts flow when they came. He tried counting sheep and thinking about Haram, but that only worked for a moment. As soon as he let his mind wander, it would fill up with Jeong Hayun again.
It felt like a warning that no matter where he was, he could never escape himself.
“If you’re awake, wash up and go outside for some fresh air. The air is definitely different from Seoul,” Hayun said.
Dawoon stared at him blankly.
“Don’t feel like going out? Want to eat first?”
These questions were so ordinary and casual that it felt strange.
“Go for a walk. I’ll prepare the meal in the meantime.”
Dawoon frowned at these words.
Really strange.
His feelings must have shown on his face, as Hayun asked what was wrong.
“Can I go out alone?”
Hayun smiled gently at Dawoon’s question. His expression seemed to say, “Why are you asking such a thing?” This made Dawoon even more confused.
He had thought Hayun would keep him from moving an inch, saying he’d always be by his side. He thought Hayun had brought him to this remote place in Gangwon Province to cut him off from the world and monitor him directly.
Come to think of it, there were no locks anywhere in this house. There were no high walls surrounding the property; it had an open structure connected to the outside, with only a basic automatic door lock at the entrance. Even that was a standard lock that could be opened from the inside, unsuitable for keeping someone confined.
Since last night, Dawoon could have left this house at any time if he wanted to. There were no guards either. Jeong Hayun was everything.
“Is this some kind of mountain village? Like, if I go out, there won’t be a single bus running?”
He asked, wondering if this was a remote area with nowhere to escape to.
“Well? I’m not sure since I didn’t look into it. It is a secluded village, but if you walk a bit, you should be able to see people who live here.”
It was a perfectly ordinary answer.
“Looks like you weren’t planning to keep me confined after all.”
Hayun smirked at Dawoon’s muttered words.
“I don’t need to confine you because I believe you won’t leave me.”
This unexpected answer left Dawoon stunned, as if he’d been hit on the back of the head. Trust. That wasn’t a word that could come easily in this situation. He had already run away from Hayun once.
“How…”
“How can I trust you, you mean?”
Hayun finished Dawoon’s trailing sentence. As Dawoon just stared at him, Hayun moved to stand right in front of him.
“For now, there’s the threat of Choi Yu-na.”
Dawoon frowned at the word “threat.” So he was aware that he was blackmailing.
“And I told you,” Hayun continued, a faint smile spreading across his lips.
“That I’ll be by your side from now on.”
Always. Dawoon couldn’t take that word at face value. That was just ridiculous…
“I said we’d live here, but it doesn’t matter if it’s not here. Wherever you go, I’ll go with you. Whether it’s Europe or Africa. Even if it’s hell.”
Dawoon’s heart tightened at those last words. He felt that Jeong Hayun would really go with him even if it were hell.
“…What am I?”
He muttered so softly that Hayun tilted his head, probably not hearing properly.
“What am I to you? What am I to you, brother?”
As Dawoon looked up and asked directly, Hayun took his hand and placed it on his own chest.
“This.”
“What…?”
“My heart. You’re my heart. I realized it this time.”
A bitter expression spread across Hayun’s face. His face looked so pained for a moment that Dawoon was at a loss for words. He couldn’t even turn his gaze away from him.
“So I don’t need anything else. I just need you.”
The straightforwardness of his feelings was disconcerting.
“I’m going for a walk.”
Dawoon pulled his hand away from Hayun’s grasp and turned around. Once again, his insides, or more precisely, his heart, fluttered. The words that he was Hayun’s heart seemed to have pierced deeper than he expected.
***
After a meal that could have been breakfast or lunch, Dawoon sat on the living room sofa, glancing at Hayun who was reading a book opposite him. It was a weekday, and at a time when others would be busy working, Dawoon had expected Hayun to be working on a tablet PC at least occasionally, but he wasn’t. The book he was reading now had nothing to do with business or company affairs; it was a novel. Wondering where the books had come from, Dawoon looked around and noticed that one entire wall of the living room was set up as a bookshelf.
None of the books on the shelf were related to business. Instead, there were quite a few books that Dawoon might be interested in, like photography collections or media technology books. The other half seemed to be novels. It didn’t look like Hayun’s taste at all.
“Don’t tell me you picked out all these books one by one?”
Dawoon asked, thinking someone must have chosen and filled them in. Hayun looked up at Dawoon a beat late, then turned to check the bookshelf. Then he slightly raised the corner of his mouth. The fact that he didn’t deny it was even more frightening.
Was the position of vice president less busy than he thought? According to news articles, Hayun had been at the London branch until recently and had come back for this engagement. When on earth did he buy and fill in all these books?
“Because I’m the only one who knows you well,” Hayun answered casually about why he couldn’t have someone else do it.
“They’re all yours, so feel free to read them. Let me know if you need anything else. There’s nothing around here, so you might get bored.”
“Are you really planning for us to live here forever?”
There were quite a few books on the shelves. Moreover, looking around, there was a separate study. There too, bookshelves filled two walls. It might not be forever, but it seemed like it would take months just to read all of them.
“Just tell me whenever you get tired of it. I’ll look for somewhere else then.”
The answer seemed off-point. At this nonsense about looking for another house right away if Dawoon got bored of this place, Dawoon just shook his head, deciding not to say anything. He thought it was nonsense, but on the other hand, knowing that Hayun was someone who could actually get a house anywhere, he couldn’t casually respond even in jest.
As Dawoon fell silent again, Hayun turned his attention back to his book. In the quiet space, only the intermittent sound of turning pages could be heard. Feeling bored just sitting there, Dawoon went to the bookshelf and picked out a random book.
However, even with the book open, he couldn’t focus on it. His gaze kept drifting towards Hayun. For quite a long time, Hayun didn’t take out his phone or tablet PC. No calls came looking for Hayun either. Finding this strange, Dawoon got up, pretending to go to the bathroom, and went into the bedroom. He checked Hayun’s phone left on the bedside table and swallowed a sigh.
It was completely turned off. He really wasn’t trying to receive any contact from anyone. Only then did it start to sink in.
***
A day passed meaninglessly. They really did nothing, just idly passing time as Jeong Hayun had wanted. After dinner, they gazed at the night sky, staring at the fire they couldn’t do the night before. It wasn’t as impressive as what he had seen in Iceland, but being in the countryside, quite a lot of stars were visible.
At night, Dawoon was tense, thinking Hayun might try to embrace him, but Hayun used a separate bedroom entirely. That was surprising in its own way. Dawoon had thought Hayun might pounce on him like a beast after not seeing him for two months, but it was unexpected.
Everything was flowing differently from what Dawoon had anticipated. Because of this, he couldn’t figure out how to proceed. If Hayun had acted decisively like before, Dawoon would have either rebelled or tried to negotiate, but Hayun didn’t seem to want anything other than to stay together.
They really were just spending the same time in the same space. After two days like this, it was Dawoon who started to feel uneasy, wondering if this was really okay.
“I want to go into town.”
Hayun, who was loading dishes into the dishwasher, turned around at this sudden request. As their eyes met, Dawoon swallowed dryly. He knew well that the fragile peace they had maintained inside this house could be shattered by his single word.
“Okay. Just wait ten minutes. Let me change clothes and we’ll go.”
However, Hayun agreed readily. As Hayun went to change clothes, Dawoon let out a big breath.
Was it really okay to do anything? Was he really not trying to confine him here?
The tension that had built up unnecessarily seemed to deflate. All the various excuses he had been preparing in case Hayun asked why he wanted to go out became meaningless.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
