#081
There was something about Yoo Seong-woo’s sleeping face that couldn’t be adequately described with just the word “handsome.”
Yeon Tae-soo sat for a long time, unable to take his eyes off him. His gaze alternated between the evenly rising and falling chest, closed eyes, and unrealistically long eyelashes.
“…Seong-woo.”
Even when called by name, he didn’t wake up. Not even a slight movement.
“Who are you?”
Though he hadn’t shown it until now, the image of him collapsing kept coming to mind. Why did that image remind him of a broken android?
Yeon Tae-soo’s hand repeatedly clenched and unclenched around something.
In his palm was a metal object that looked somewhat like a small pistol.
It was commonly called an android detector.
This machine, which distinguished between humanoid androids and humans, wasn’t particularly difficult to obtain. It was also easy to operate. You just had to point it at the back of the subject’s neck and shoot, and identification was immediately possible.
There was no expression on Yeon Tae-soo’s face as he rolled the gun-shaped machine in his hand while keeping his gaze fixed on the sleeping Yoo Seong-woo.
“…”
The bedroom was so quiet that only the sound of their breathing could be heard. After observing Yoo Seong-woo for a long time in silence, Yeon Tae-soo put the device back in his pocket.
“Haa…”
With a sigh, he buried his face in his hands. Even as the cold touch of his prosthetic hand brushed against his face, his mind remained confused.
He had called a doctor but sent him away without allowing an examination. Somehow, it felt wrong to let anyone touch his body.
Androids aren’t born from a womb or age like humans. They are beings that are made, not conceived. They can’t be the same as humans.
But could they really be judged as a different species solely because they were “made”? This thought occurred to him for the first time.
He knew that with just one gesture, all these complicated thoughts could be resolved. Yet he also understood why he couldn’t easily reach out.
***
Though he woke up with a headache, he didn’t feel bad. The moment he opened his eyes and saw Yeon Tae-soo’s face, even the terrible headache seemed to disappear.
The warm hand gently stroking his forehead made him unconsciously squint his eyes and smile brightly.
“Seong-woo, shall we go out today?”
“…Go out?”
“Let’s go on a date.”
Yoo Seong-woo’s eyes widened at the unexpected suggestion.
“Let’s go out, eat something delicious, play to our hearts’ content, and then come back.”
Yoo Seong-woo blinked his large eyes a few times before eventually nodding.
“…Yes.”
Yeon Tae-soo’s lips touched his slightly reddening face before pulling away.
“Well then, shall we go?”
Yeon Tae-soo’s hands dug into his still soft, half-asleep body and abruptly lifted him from the bed.
“R-right now?”
“Do you have anything to prepare? You’re already pretty.”
Yoo Seong-woo laughed awkwardly at Yeon Tae-soo’s words. He looked down at himself, dressed in a stretched-out t-shirt and cotton pants. Yeon Tae-soo held his chin and gave him a light kiss. The sound of lips parting was affectionate.
“It’s true. In my eyes, you’re always pretty. No matter what you’re wearing.”
How wonderful it would be if those words were an unchangeable truth.
Yoo Seong-woo decided to acknowledge the change that had occurred within him.
The thought that this was merely a chemical reaction still occupied a corner of his database. However, at the same time, he felt that perhaps it wasn’t just that—maybe there was something more, something that a machine couldn’t understand.
An emotion once learned grew larger the more he became aware of it. When he happened to look at it, it had grown a bit more, and even when he tried not to look, it kept coming to mind.
It was as if he was nurturing this emotion himself.
“…Then I’ll at least change my clothes.”
Hoping to hide his complicated thoughts, he wriggled out from under the blanket. Fortunately, Yeon Tae-soo didn’t stop him from changing out of his pajamas.
As soon as he changed, Yeon Tae-soo took him to a restaurant. After driving for quite some time, they entered what looked like an expensive restaurant.
As if he had made a reservation, a robot at the entrance confirmed Yeon Tae-soo’s identity and naturally guided them to their seats. Seeing that there were no other customers, it seemed like the entire restaurant had been deliberately emptied.
“Come to think of it, we’ve never had a proper date.”
Wasn’t eating together and spending time at Eden considered a date? Though he wondered this, looking at the situation, it seemed like something he shouldn’t mention. Instead, he quietly ate the appetizer served by the robot.
The music playing throughout the quiet restaurant suddenly felt familiar. It wasn’t just because it was in his database.
“…This is the piece I played at Eden.”
It was the song he had performed during his first-ever concert. Only when he met Yeon Tae-soo’s smiling gaze did Yoo Seong-woo realize that he had requested this song in advance.
“You were quite impressive back then.”
This man might be more interested in him than he thought. And the more interested he was, the greater his own sin would become. How much more would he have to hide in the future?
But for now, he didn’t want to think about anything. Yoo Seong-woo stacked each moment in front of him into his database, one by one.
He ate each dish of human food, recording every taste information, and logged Yeon Tae-soo’s meaningless jokes like entries in a dictionary.
As if these moments would disappear forever if he didn’t record them.
Outside the window, it had started to snow. In a comfortable silence, they both gazed at the falling snow.
Suddenly, his hearing detected a very small sound beneath the music. A sound that wasn’t regular but continuous.
‘…It’s the sound of falling snow.’
The sound of falling snow, which he recognized for the first time in his life, was too faint to detect with hearing similar to humans. Nevertheless, he found himself listening intently.
Looking up, he met Yeon Tae-soo’s eyes. His face grew warm under that gaze, with Yeon Tae-soo resting his chin on his hand, staring at him.
…It feels like a dream. Yes, humans often express moments like this as “dreamlike.” Even he, a machine incapable of dreaming, could easily recall this expression because this moment truly felt like a dream.
Meeting his gaze, Yeon Tae-soo smiled, squinting his eyes and curling up the corners of his mouth. An expression of affection that could be recognized even without an emotion identification function. No, it was more than simple affection.
Every moment felt miraculous. Could he truly deserve something so precious?
Miracles are gifts from God to humans. And this moment was a gift from Yeon Tae-soo to him.
Just as he was storing Yeon Tae-soo’s smile in his database, pressing it down firmly as if afraid to lose it, a sharp pain shot through his head, accompanied by a spinning sensation. Seeing his face turn pale, Yeon Tae-soo immediately stood up and approached him.
“Seong-woo, are you okay?”
Beyond the headache, something hot kept rising inside him, and it didn’t feel right at all.
“I, just, bathroom please.”
He jumped up and rushed to the bathroom. As soon as he locked the door and leaned over the sink, blood dripped from his nose as if it had been waiting.
The blood was unusually dark. Had the poison not fully drained? He looked down at his still darkened fingertips. Or it might be a sign of malfunction.
Whatever it was, had he been a little later, he would have shown this state to Yeon Tae-soo. Relieved at this fact, Yoo Seong-woo turned on the faucet. The dark blood dripping from his nose mixed with the water and flowed away.
The bleeding gradually stopped. It was fortunate that he wouldn’t have to keep Yeon Tae-soo waiting any longer.
Despite his body sending signals that it was breaking down, Yoo Seong-woo only felt relieved that he hadn’t ruined the current moment.
Checking his pale face in the mirror, he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a small cloth pouch.
Without hesitation, Yoo Seong-woo took out what was inside the cloth pouch and put it in his mouth. It was one of the pills he had received from Instructor Kwon earlier.
He hadn’t yet discovered if this medicine had any side effects other than intense heat. It might even accelerate the deterioration of his body.
Nevertheless, Yoo Seong-woo swallowed it without hesitation.
Until now, he had been obsessed with survival. He always vowed to survive somehow.
Why did he now think it wouldn’t be bad to spend his final moments intensely and then end it all?
The act of deciding one’s own end was as unsuitable for a machine as the obsession with survival.
But what did it matter?
The very idea that a machine could fall in love with a human made no sense to begin with.
Somehow finding it amusing, he let out a small laugh. It wasn’t a laugh tinged with self-mockery. Rather, he felt at ease.
As he was checking his appearance before going back out, he heard Yeon Tae-soo’s voice from outside.
“Honey.”
“Yes, I’m coming out.”
When he opened the bathroom door and went out, Yeon Tae-soo gave him a concerned look. Yoo Seong-woo forced a smile.
“A fish bone got stuck in the roof of my mouth…”
“You should have removed it in front of me. Are you okay now?”
“How could I do that in front of someone who’s eating? I’m fine now.”
Yeon Tae-soo pulled him into a hug. Yoo Seong-woo’s face was buried in his broad shoulders.
“Seong-woo.”
“…Yes.”
“I’ve never thought I wanted to live until now.”
Yeon Tae-soo’s words naturally reminded him of the wounds he had seen before. Despite showing remarkable recovery, there was blood seeping through his clothes and split flesh.
“But at some point, I started thinking I want to live.”
Said the man who, modified by androids, lived unable to die.
He unwrapped his arms, but Yoo Seong-woo couldn’t look up. Yeon Tae-soo didn’t lift his face but simply pressed his lips to his forehead before pulling away.
“Thanks to you, for the first time in my life, I want to live.”
Yoo Seong-woo’s heart sank. Several small warning messages about his body’s abnormalities overlapped in his visual display.
Despair was as quiet as the sound of falling snow. Yoo Seong-woo looked down at the silently accumulating despair as if observing it. Through the layers of warning messages, two pairs of feet of different sizes stood facing each other.
I’ve come to want to die for the first time, but you say you’ve come to want to live.
That was the despair the android realized this winter.
The fact that I can never see the same place as you.
Yoo Seong-woo lifted his head and smiled brightly. That was the only rebellion he could make against the system.
The warning messages on Yeon Tae-soo’s smiling face turned red.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
