#072
At first, it was definitely curiosity that drew him.
The striking beauty evident even with more than half his face covered by a mask, the indifferent and unaffected attitude that didn’t match that splendid face. And the look in his eyes visible above the mask. Eyes that desperately wanted to live, burning with intensity.
He thought that naturally, his interest would fade after their bodies had joined once, but for some reason, the more he was physically intimate with Yoo Seong-woo, the more curious he became. Like an addiction, he sought him out.
Yeon Tae-soo knew he was someone far removed from romance. How absurd, romance? Emotions produced by sensory organs already damaged beyond repair.
Love?
No, that wasn’t it, it must be something like lust. That’s what he believed.
But the moment he saw Yoo Seong-woo again, in that terrible state, Yeon Tae-soo realized. He had been waiting for him. Missing him.
‘With an expression like that, you make me hope without even realizing it.’
Why do you give someone like me a chance, Seong-woo? He wanted to grab him and ask why he kept looking at him with those eyes.
And also why he had left him.
But unable to ask either question, Yeon Tae-soo stood outside the safe house, smoking one cigarette after another.
“Haah…”
In truth, he was afraid to talk with him. Yoo Seong-woo was difficult to predict, and regardless of what he asked, he felt the answer would be something he couldn’t handle.
After losing almost all sensation, even fear had become an unfamiliar emotion to him. Everything dulled came into sharp focus in Yoo Seong-woo’s presence, shining once again.
That’s why Yeon Tae-soo couldn’t give him up.
‘Perhaps what I fear is myself.’
Whatever Yoo Seong-woo might say, whatever his feelings might be, the fact that he had no intention of letting him go seemed more dangerous.
His head throbbed. Yeon Tae-soo’s prosthetic hand hesitated as he was about to take out another cigarette, then pushed back the one that was halfway out. He felt he should go back inside soon.
***
When he returned, Yoo Seong-woo was sitting on the bed, looking at a visual book. The visual book he was holding was a fashion magazine. While watching the holograms of tall models walking across the pages, Yoo Seong-woo leisurely looked up to face him.
“Feeling better?”
“…Yes.”
He didn’t look fine at all, but his condition seemed better than before. Yeon Tae-soo placed the medicine bottle he had brought on the table, slightly away from the bed.
“It’s an antidote. What kind of workplace doesn’t provide this and still makes people work?”
Yoo Seong-woo smiled weakly. Yeon Tae-soo had researched enough about the Mount Jiri recovery site. He’d heard that while Haeya-dong was a gathering place for human dregs, it didn’t even compare to the scum who entered Mount Jiri, covered themselves in toxic substances while working, and died there.
Why were you in such a place? Yeon Tae-soo’s jaw tightened with an audible crunch.
Moreover, Mount Jiri was also the place with memories Yeon Tae-soo most wanted to forget. The place where he witnessed the bizarre scene of numerous androids being discarded, and worse, participated in the massacre, unable to resist threats.
Though it was in the past, the fact that Yoo Seong-woo had been in such a place made his teeth chatter. It felt like his shameful past had been exposed.
“Seong-woo.”
“Yes.”
“For now… I won’t ask why you left. But do you really need to go back to Mount Jiri?”
Yoo Seong-woo nodded.
“Yes. Popo is there, but…”
“I can have my men find and bring it back.”
“Thank you.”
Why did he feel disappointed at such a simple response? He could be a bit more clingy. He could be more angry, speak more honestly, reveal more.
But making those beautiful red lips open was his responsibility. If he thought of it as a process to keep him closer, it only made him happy.
“Then just stay here until you’re completely well. I’ll be somewhere else, so you won’t feel uncomfortable.”
Yoo Seong-woo’s eyes widened. He wanted to kiss those eyes. In fact, since meeting him again, that’s all he had been thinking about. He wanted to hold him, embrace him, stay close to him. Even though they had been intimate right after meeting, it wasn’t enough.
“Why…”
Yoo Seong-woo asked, as if exhaling a breath.
“Why are you being so good to me?”
His face showed something like resentment. No, it was bewilderment. It was also the reaction of someone who had never experienced affection.
That upset Yeon Tae-soo. Beyond empathy, he wanted to show him. What it felt like to be surrounded by tenderness.
Although he himself had never experienced proper affection, he wanted to show it to Yoo Seong-woo.
“…Because you’re a person worth it.”
You’re the person who pulled my corpse-like self out of the water.
“Because you made me a real person.”
No matter what anyone said, he was certainly his benefactor. No, could such a comfortable word as “benefactor” express what he felt for him?
Yoo Seong-woo said nothing. But his expression was readable. It was an expression Yeon Tae-soo had seen several times before. A face begging to be saved. A face sending him a distress call. How could he turn away from that face?
There was much he wanted to ask. Setting aside why he had run away from him, what were those anxious looks he occasionally showed? Why had he pushed him away so many times?
Each time, Yoo Seong-woo’s precarious appearance had seemed like that of a patient. He seemed to be in pain somewhere, but since he wouldn’t speak, it was maddening not to know.
And syringes and medicine bottles were found at the animal hospital he had left. They had been discovered hidden under the mattress.
Centimenade. He had looked it up after seeing the name on the medicine bottle. It was said to be used as a treatment for cognitive disorders.
Was that why he had always looked in pain? If so, it made sense. His rejection too. Because sick people are afraid to keep someone by their side.
“So I want you to stay here. Even if just for a while.”
Time passed in silence. Without realizing it, Yeon Tae-soo repeatedly clenched and unclenched his fist. And after a short while, Yoo Seong-woo nodded.
“…Yes. I will.”
That’s a relief. The corners of Yeon Tae-soo’s mouth turned up. That’s a relief. A real relief. Because I don’t have to lose you again.
“Tell me if you need anything. I’ll get it for you right away. If I make you uncomfortable, I’ll have my men do it.”
Drenched in relief, Yeon Tae-soo busily moved around the safe house, personally checking first if there was anything needed.
He didn’t notice Yoo Seong-woo’s eyes, deeply sunken, staring into empty space.
***
After that, Yoo Seong-woo stayed at Yeon Tae-soo’s safe house. Yeon Tae-soo continuously urged him to go to the hospital, and when he said he didn’t want to meet a doctor, Yeon Tae-soo said he would get him any medicine he needed if he just told him what it was.
Those words were both touching and bitter. Because there was no medicine that could be used for a broken machine.
If there was any consolation, it was that the three pills received from Instructor Kwon remained intact. It was worth enduring stubbornly without taking them just because of a little pain.
Popo also returned safely. Yeon Tae-soo’s subordinate had brought it back from where it was buried in the soil.
The subordinates showed choked expressions as soon as they faced Yoo Seong-woo.
‘They must resent me for causing them so much trouble in finding me.’
It was obvious how much Yeon Tae-soo must have driven and pushed them. Although he was wearing a mask, when he showed an apologetic expression, the men’s jaws tightened even more, so Yoo Seong-woo decided not to speak to them.
During his stay at the safe house, his body recovered a bit. Just having some of the toxic substances neutralized improved his condition considerably.
However, there was no guarantee that problems like sudden shutdowns or sensory blockages wouldn’t occur again as they had before.
How long would the effects of Instructor Kwon’s pills last? Being something used by the military, it was hard to expect a long-lasting effect. Especially since the military used androids as consumables, this pill was likely nothing more than a means to allow soon-to-be-discarded androids to finish their tasks. It wasn’t a cure to begin with.
Yoo Seong-woo pondered. He had tried to escape from Yeon Tae-soo but eventually returned to him.
To be honest, he felt relieved. He wanted to continue staying with Yeon Tae-soo. He wanted to return to Eden in Haeya-dong and be with him as before.
Even though his android identity could be discovered at any time. Even though it wouldn’t be strange if his sensory system was blocked or he shut down tomorrow.
And the moment his android identity was revealed, Yeon Tae-soo wouldn’t leave him be.
‘I have to leave again.’
This time, he shouldn’t leave secretly. But he also didn’t have the confidence to face Yeon Tae-soo and say, “Thank you for all your help, but ungratefully, I have to leave you.”
‘Perhaps it would be better to make him believe I’m dead.’
After all, he wouldn’t search for someone who’s dead.
