#118
He wanted to drink himself into oblivion. But he didn’t want to look pathetic while intoxicated.
For some time now, Yeon Tae-soo had hardly drunk alcohol. Even strong liquor rarely made him drunk. It seemed the black moonstone’s healing power affected alcohol detoxification as well. Above all, he neither enjoyed nor needed alcohol.
After receiving the gift of lost emotions from Yoo Seong-woo and giving up his black moonstone, Yeon Tae-soo craved alcohol for the first time in his life.
“Haaa…”
Exhaling a heavy sigh that sounded uncomfortable even to his own ears, he entered the suite’s office, pulled out a chair, and sat down. This place was normally used as Kim Ji-heon’s office, but it was now empty since he had fled to avoid Yeon Tae-soo.
‘Ah, Mr. Yoo asked me to keep it a secret…’
Fortunately, as soon as he showed his fist, Kim Ji-heon immediately revealed where Yoo Seong-woo had gone. Otherwise, he might have taken out his anger on him.
‘He seemed to want independence. He said even a small and dirty place would be fine as long as he could live alone…’
Yoo Seong-woo had tried to leave him. That fact made his insides churn.
He didn’t feel betrayed. After all, Yoo Seong-woo hadn’t betrayed him in the first place. It was the same when he left before. Yoo Seong-woo had never betrayed him. It was the same now.
That made him even angrier. If only Yoo Seong-woo had been cruel and selfish, it would have been less painful, because I can’t even resent you.
“…Why did Nikita have to say such things…”
He had suspected it, but now he was certain that she had overheard their conversation.
Yeon Tae-soo roughly rubbed his face with his prosthetic hand. The cold sensation brought him somewhat back to his senses.
He was afraid he might hurt Yoo Seong-woo.
Today he had barely managed to regain his composure, but if something like this happened again, would he be able to avoid harming Yoo Seong-woo?
Yeon Tae-soo booted up the air notebook on the desk. With his mind in disarray, he thought he might as well work, so he brought up the screen and checked several file lists that Kim Ji-heon had been reviewing.
While checking the list, Yeon Tae-soo discovered a file with an unfamiliar title and opened it. A video began playing in the air.
Golden Eden, bright lights, people, and a masked man sitting at a grand piano.
The melody of Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. 1 flowed out. Even with the mask on, Yoo Seong-woo looked happy. He shone more brilliantly than any being or light in the golden Eden.
This is how you should be. No, this is how you used to be.
Finding it difficult to watch more, he closed the file and leaned back against the chair.
‘Whatever the outcome, I will still… love you.’
He recalled the last time Yoo Seong-woo had smiled at him.
That memory alone was enough to live on. He had to believe that.
Wiping his face again with his cold prosthetic hand, Yeon Tae-soo opened the bottom drawer and took out a sunglasses case.
When he touched the temple of the sunglasses, a small medicine bottle attached to the inside of the temple detached with a click.
This was the poison he had always kept in the closet of Eden’s office.
During the time when he couldn’t feel emotions, he vaguely expected that someday he would commit suicide with this drug. But he didn’t die before meeting Yoo Seong-woo.
Whatever the reason, because he didn’t die, he met Yoo Seong-woo. And he had survived until now.
Even if he didn’t believe in fate or anything like that, he could at least believe one thing: that he had remained alive all this time to save Yoo Seong-woo.
Why had Yoo Seong-woo tried to comfort him?
Having lost his emotions, he wouldn’t have been worried about him. It must have just been a habit ingrained in his body. Or perhaps he considered Yeon Tae-soo his master and wanted to protect him.
The night the engineer said she would treat Yoo Seong-woo, Yeon Tae-soo had prepared a will in case something went wrong.
The gist of it was to leave all his assets except Eden to Yoo Seong-woo, and to convey all the hideouts he had prepared in android-friendly countries, including India. He would give Eden to Kim Ji-heon, who had worked hard for him, and distribute the small businesses under Eden to the big guys who called him “brother” and followed him.
‘Are you crazy? Absolutely not. I refuse. I won’t do it. No, that’s not the important part… You woke up. You didn’t die, so why are you giving me a will?’
When he handed over his will immediately after recovering, Kim Ji-heon was greatly perplexed.
‘You never know when you might die. I’m human too; I could suddenly get sick or have an accident. I should have written it earlier.’
After rambling on with his broken voice about how it didn’t make sense for someone as important as him not to prepare for his death, and how wealthy and famous people usually prepare wills in advance, Kim Ji-heon sighed and left, almost as if escaping.
He had lived like a corpse, imitating others, and after meeting Yoo Seong-woo, he lived for him.
If so, now that he had saved Yoo Seong-woo, he should live to protect him.
Even if Yoo Seong-woo pushed him away, saying he didn’t need his protection, he should keep him close.
Since waking up, his cluttered mind felt as if it had been washed clean. It was like waking from a sleep.
He tightened his grip on the small medicine bottle in his hand. With a crunch, the glass bottle broke, and the drug spilled out, wetting his prosthetic hand. Yeon Tae-soo pulled out a tissue and wiped his prosthetic hand clean.
He felt refreshed, as if a long-held burden had been lifted.
***
Most androids were designed to handle minor errors on their own. Yoo Seong-woo was no exception.
If there had been an error, it would have self-repaired, or a warning message would have appeared.
Although he couldn’t possibly be unaware of this obvious fact, Yoo Seong-woo kept hesitating.
He had picked up his sculpting knife after a long time, but he couldn’t create anything. Maybe it was natural. Because there was nothing he ‘wanted’ to sculpt.
The sculpting knife that had been abandoned on the table was now cleaned and neatly organized in its case. It must have been Yeon Tae-soo who did it.
Without emotions, it was difficult to guess what intention Yeon Tae-soo had when organizing the sculpting tools. But one thing was certain: even if his emotions didn’t return, Yeon Tae-soo would remain favorable toward him.
Nevertheless, Yoo Seong-woo couldn’t understand why he had taken out the sculpting knife again.
After staring blankly at the sculpting knife and a block of wood, Yoo Seong-woo finally gave up.
In fact, for the past few days, he had been trying to sculpt again without Yeon Tae-soo knowing. But every attempt had ended in failure.
He thought that if he returned to his long-held hobby of sculpting, he might regain his emotions.
It seems it was just a baseless guess after all. Having reached this conclusion, Yoo Seong-woo was about to put the sculpting knife back in its leather case when he paused.
‘…Regain my emotions?’
There’s no reason to feel the need for non-existent emotions. Yet wanting to regain them means…
Yoo Seong-woo abruptly stood up. In an urgent manner unlike his recent self, he began searching the room.
He opened the wardrobe and took out the trunk he had brought when coming to India. It was completely empty. Naturally, all the clothes that had been inside had been unpacked and organized in the hotel room long ago.
Trying to remain calm, he searched through his memory. It wasn’t difficult to remember where he had put ‘it’.
Opening the outer pocket, he found the only item that hadn’t been taken out of the trunk.
A wooden sculpture with a bizarre shape that looked like a rhinoceros or a coiled snake.
The moment he looked down at that terrible piece that Yeon Tae-soo had insisted was an elephant, his shoulders shook violently.
‘No. Please give it to me as a gift.’
His memory surged. All the memories with Yeon Tae-soo, which had felt distant, were now concentrated in his palm through the touch of this solid wooden model.
Yeon Tae-soo’s expressions, gestures, the touch of his body against his own, the words he had whispered—the realization that all of it was real hit him anew. Not a dream, not the past. Even now…
“Huff…”
Even now, he still loves me.
Even as he struggled to steady his rising breath, his eyes reddened. Popo, who was nearby, approached with concern and beeped.
– Mr. Yoo’s heartbeat increasing! Rest needed!
“…I’m fine.”
In truth, he was not fine at all. The hand holding the wooden sculpture trembled roughly. Only when he saw droplets falling onto his hand did Yoo Seong-woo realize he was crying.
“Ah…”
The tears he hadn’t been able to shed since waking up after surgery were finally flowing.
Rather than bewilderment, he felt relief. It was as if his confined body was being liberated. How could something as intangible and untouchable as emotion be so solid? How could it resemble Yeon Tae-soo’s ridiculous, comical, and seemingly shoddy sculpture?
And yet, why was it so brilliant?
He couldn’t live without this beautiful and solid thing. Yoo-hyun’s prototype android might be able to live, but as Yoo Seong-woo, he couldn’t live without this brilliant emotion.
Emotions that had been too late flowed little by little. Like water seeping through the cracks of a broken dam, they slowly soaked Yoo Seong-woo.
It was then. Startled by a knock, he reflexively hid his hand behind his back. Yeon Tae-soo opened the door and entered, then paused when he saw Yoo Seong-woo’s tear-stained face.
“Are you okay?”
Yoo Seong-woo hesitantly nodded, but Yeon Tae-soo walked straight toward him without hesitation.
This man was always like this. For him, he was always straightforward and unwavering.
“What’s wrong, hmm?”
Despite his clearly perplexed appearance, his voice was nothing but gentle. He was being considerate, afraid that Yoo Seong-woo might be even more startled.
Feeling Yeon Tae-soo’s gaze directed behind his back, Yoo Seong-woo stepped backward, trying to hide the sculpture in his hand. He was still confused. Unorganized emotions tickled his heart. The touch of the sculpture, tightly gripped in his hand, also tickled his palm.
“What are you holding?”
“Nothing, it’s nothing.”
Yeon Tae-soo paused. It wasn’t because he deliberately stopped to avoid hurting him. He had read the change. His differently colored eyes were examining Yoo Seong-woo carefully, yet with affection.
While Yoo Seong-woo’s attention was momentarily distracted by Yeon Tae-soo’s eyes, he reached out his hand. Yoo Seong-woo tried to avoid it, but it was already too late.
As both his wrists were grabbed, Yeon Tae-soo pressed his body against him. Despite his weight loss, he was still bigger than Yoo Seong-woo. Even though he was pressing him with that large body, this time his body didn’t send any warnings.
“What are you hiding, Seong-woo?”
“W-wait…”
He felt his strength draining at the gentle whisper right in front of his face.
As the hand hidden behind his back finally stretched forward, Yoo Seong-woo was startled. In his attempt to avoid it, he accidentally turned the sculpting knife in his other hand toward Yeon Tae-soo’s body. With a clang, the sculpting knife fell, but Yeon Tae-soo’s gaze remained fixed on him. Despite all this, he was still barely guarding the sculpture in his other hand.
“Sir, b-be careful…! Please be careful!”
He stammered without realizing it and then shouted loudly. Without even being aware that this was quite different from the stiff appearance he had shown for the past few days, he first checked Yeon Tae-soo’s body. Fortunately, it didn’t seem like he was hurt.
“What do you think I’m holding that you pounce on me like that?”
Meanwhile, Yeon Tae-soo’s gaze captured his face. Though he appeared to have regained his composure, his trembling eyelashes, still moist eye corners, wet eyelashes, and slightly flushed cheeks and ears were all visible.
A beat late, Yoo Seong-woo faced him, who had not answered.
Wonder and joy fell across Yeon Tae-soo’s gaze as he examined Yoo Seong-woo. At his bright smile that followed, Yoo Seong-woo’s heart thumped. Like a heart suddenly beating after not beating for a while, exactly like taking a heavy first step.
Facing Yeon Tae-soo’s black and blue eyes, Yoo Seong-woo momentarily thought of stepping into space. A step that makes no sound and has nowhere to land, but is resolutely taken.
Yeon Tae-soo checked the object he had finally taken from Yoo Seong-woo. He smiled again at the childish wooden sculpture of indiscernible shape. This time, it was quite a splendid smile.
“Doctor, I think I have a hole in my stomach.”
Pointing to his smooth stomach, which had almost been grazed by the sculpting knife but showed no mark, he said.
When they first met, he smiled like this too. Smirking with the corners of his mouth turned up, finding something amusing.
“Will our Seong-woo take a look at it for me?”
All the darkness that had been blocking him was lifted. Tears flowed again, but instead of grimacing, Yoo Seong-woo smiled.
Everything feels like the first time when I’m with you. Even this trivial smile becomes new.
That’s why you made this worn-out me so dazzlingly new.
He stretched out his arms, cupped Yeon Tae-soo’s face, and moved closer.
Their lips met. And with that, Yoo Seong-woo’s universe was finally complete.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
