#76
Let’s make it quickly.
Seo Yi-young’s menu consisted of tuna kimchi stew and fried eggs. The rice was perfectly done too. Fresh white rice and two side dishes. It was a simple meal, but it couldn’t be helped since he made it in a hurry. Seo Yi-young placed chopsticks in front of Choi Do-jun and said.
“You saw me make it, right? I worked hard on it? Eat.”
Seo Yi-young deliberately showed off. Choi Do-jun was staring blankly at the dishes. Seo Yi-young was preparing what to say in case Choi Do-jun suddenly refused to eat.
“What about you?”
When he finally spoke, this was the question? Seo Yi-young was a bit taken aback. He didn’t expect Choi Do-jun to ask about his portion in this situation. After blinking rapidly, Seo Yi-young soon replied.
“I already ate. You eat.”
Choi Do-jun’s head nodded slightly up and down.
“I’ll eat well.”
“…Uh…”
He didn’t expect such a polite greeting. Before the flustered Seo Yi-young could properly react, Choi Do-jun began eating.
“…This is delicious.”
“…Uh…”
Faced with another unexpected comment, Seo Yi-young once again failed to respond properly. Meanwhile, the rice bowl quickly showed its bottom. Since Choi Do-jun took large spoonfuls, it only took a few bites. The stew and side dishes Seo Yi-young made were the same.
It was hard to believe this was the same person who had refused to eat just moments ago. Of course, this was much better than picking at his food.
“Thanks for the meal.”
“Oh, no. …Yeah.”
Seo Yi-young replied, looking down at all the empty dishes. Choi Do-jun immediately got up, lightly washed the dishes, and put them in the dishwasher. Seo Yi-young, who had been staring blankly at this scene, quickly came to his senses and grabbed his arm.
“Now let’s go brush our teeth.”
Choi Do-jun’s laughter was heard.
“Are you determined to act like a teacher?”
“You shouldn’t go to sleep right after eating.”
He wasn’t sure. At another time, he might have wondered what this was all about.
But after seeing him just sitting there without saying or doing anything, any response at all was welcome. Seo Yi-young grabbed Choi Do-jun and led him to the bathroom. It was a relief that he seemed to follow willingly.
After a light wash, they returned to the room, and Seo Yi-young told Choi Do-jun to change clothes. Then Seo Yi-young examined the bed. When Choi Do-jun came out again, his clothes had changed to comfortable casual wear.
“Come over here and lie down. Sleep.”
Choi Do-jun looked at the spacious bed once, then turned his gaze to Seo Yi-young and asked.
“What about you? What are you planning to do?”
“Me? Well. Should I put you to sleep?”
He expected a retort asking what he was thinking, but Choi Do-jun said nothing.
“I was joking…”
“Can you really do that?”
Seo Yi-young, who was about to explain it was a joke, froze with his lips parted. He couldn’t even blink, and his gaze wandered in the air. He couldn’t meet Choi Do-jun’s gaze on his face.
Thinking about it, it’s not that difficult. But what is this embarrassing feeling? Just as he was thinking that, Seo Yi-young’s head soon moved up and down.
They returned to the bedroom together. He thought the atmosphere would be incredibly awkward, but it was a rather confusing feeling—somewhat okay yet not okay at the same time.
He’d said he would put him to sleep, but did that mean he should pat Choi Do-jun after he lay down? What was this atmosphere where even non-existent awkwardness seemed to grow abundantly? Should he not have said he would put him to sleep? At the very least, when Choi Do-jun asked if he could do that, he should have said it was a joke.
Just as he was thinking he wanted to hit his own mouth, he felt Choi Do-jun’s gaze. Sitting up on the bed and staring at Seo Yi-young, it was as if he was asking why he wasn’t getting on. He wanted to think it was just his imagination, but Choi Do-jun proved his thoughts correct by tapping the spot beside him.
“Get up here.”
“No. I think I’m fine staying here.”
“Are you going to sing a lullaby or something?”
“…That’s not it. …Alright.”
Normally, he would have retorted, but was it because of Choi Do-jun’s earlier state? He couldn’t speak as strongly as before. It could also be because Choi Do-jun’s tone seemed subdued compared to usual.
Right, having come this far, there was no reason to resist further. Seo Yi-young silently climbed onto the bed and lay down. However, despite his resolve, he couldn’t help feeling embarrassed and shy, wanting to run away somewhere, so he had to suppress it diligently.
“…”
But is this right?
Even after turning off the lights and lying next to Choi Do-jun, the question marks floating in his head didn’t disappear. Seo Yi-young, who had been quietly looking up at the ceiling, glanced at Choi Do-jun lying beside him. He seemed to have his eyes closed, but it was hard to tell if he was asleep or not. Seo Yi-young raised his upper body and brought his ear close to Choi Do-jun’s nose.
That’s when Choi Do-jun’s arm embraced him.
Without any exaggeration, he was so startled that he thought his heart would drop.
“Uwah, you scared me…! You were pretending to sleep, wait.”
“Didn’t you say you’d put me to sleep?”
“Well, yes, but…”
Seo Yi-young tried to struggle, but Choi Do-jun didn’t seem to have any intention of releasing his embracing arm. The position was quite uncomfortable, making his back hurt more and more. He might have actually let out a sound like “nnngh.”
Then suddenly his body floated up and was on top of Choi Do-jun’s body like a blanket. Seo Yi-young couldn’t properly react to the sudden event, and it was only after a few seconds that he recognized the situation and struggled. But that didn’t last long either. Choi Do-jun pressed Seo Yi-young’s head to his chest. It was quite a strong force, but not so tight that he couldn’t breathe.
As he pressed against Choi Do-jun’s chest, the thumping sound of his heartbeat was audible through the skin. That regular sound unexpectedly gave Seo Yi-young a sense of stability. At the same time, he realized that there must be a reason for Choi Do-jun’s behavior. Seo Yi-young relaxed his body to escape from him.
“Am I not heavy?”
“Not really.”
A soft answer came to his hesitant question. He wanted to get down like this, but it didn’t seem easy to escape from the arms embracing his body. No, that’s just an excuse. If he truly wanted to escape from Choi Do-jun’s embrace, he would have made some attempt. But Seo Yi-young simply chose to remain still, lying on top.
The warmth of a person feels like this, it’s this good—it felt new.
It was completely different from sex. It was nothing like the scorching heat and violent intensity that seemed to sweep you away mindlessly. It was gentle, warm, and peaceful. He just wanted to maintain this moment as long as possible, for as long as he could.
It felt somewhat strange and awkward to feel such emotions while being with Choi Do-jun. But it wasn’t unpleasant. One thing for certain was that it had been a really long time since he’d felt such emotions. A peaceful time just by being still.
Only then did Seo Yi-young realize that he was somewhat tired. It wasn’t limited to physical issues.
At some point, Seo Yi-young realized that his breathing had synchronized with Choi Do-jun’s. Leaning on Choi Do-jun’s chest, which rose and fell with each breath, Seo Yi-young unknowingly drifted off to sleep.
*
‘How have you been lately?’
Jo Tae-su opened his mouth.
‘Just, living well.’
He answered calmly. But Seo Yi-young scoffed at his own words. Am I really living well?
It had been 5 years since Seo Yi-young awakened as an S-Class. After entering dungeons and demonstrating his abilities, public favor and popularity rose day by day. But in proportion, Seo Yi-young’s existence as a human being gradually became blurrier. What people saw was Seo Yi-young as an S-Class Healer.
Even Seo Yi-young himself was increasingly defining his own worth as an S-Class Healer.
It’s not Seo Yi-young as an individual that’s needed. What they need is just an S-Class Healer. Even if it weren’t Seo Yi-young but someone else, as long as they were an S-Class Healer, that would be enough. He had been mistaken about this fact. What people wanted and what he wanted. And the emptiness that came from the discrepancy between people’s cheers and the silence of his spacious house couldn’t be filled in any way.
He bought all sorts of things and rolled around with all sorts of people. But that emptiness was not filled with anything. It didn’t disappear either. It only expanded like a gaping space. Even dungeons, which he had entered nervously at first, were now just one of his tedious routines.
His nerves constantly sought stimulation. It’s a very common expression, but literally, his daily life was boring. He wasn’t lacking money either, so there was nothing more to do, and nothing he saw gave him any excitement.
Before awakening, he had wondered why rich people got addicted to drugs, but now he thought he understood. The boredom didn’t disappear. The puddle of boredom grew larger, swallowing his entire body. Even if he had tried to escape at first, at some point it became his daily life under the name of familiarity, dulling his senses.
The only time he could exist as Seo Yi-young was during his meetings with Jo Tae-su, who had helped him awaken. He took care of Seo Yi-young meticulously, like a father. Although the time they spent together wasn’t long. Because Jo Tae-su was like that, Seo Yi-young met him without having other doubts. Jo Tae-su was the only one who treated Seo Yi-young as an ordinary person.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
