Sophia stopped for a moment, startled.
“What did you say?”
“Sophia, come here. Hold your mother’s hand for a moment.”
The countess reached out to calm the shocked Sophia. But Sophia was in no state to accept anyone’s comfort.
Her pale face stayed quiet for a while before she turned her head.
“That can’t be true. There must be some mistake.”
“It was in the paper, so I don’t think it’s wrong.”
“That won’t do. I need to go see for myself.”
As if she had made a decision, Sophia ran to her room.
“Where are you going, dear?!”
The countess shouted after her, but it was no use.
Sophia arrived at the dressing room and began to pack as if she were leaving immediately. She didn’t even have the mind to ring the bell. She took out a suitcase herself and started pulling out clothes, tossing them near the bag.
“Oh my, Miss! What are you doing?”
The servants, surprised by her flinging the door open and pulling clothes out without care, rushed to stop her. But it was no use. Sophia pushed their hands away and kept digging through her wardrobe. When the servants couldn’t stop her, they brought Felix to try.
But even Felix couldn’t stop her.
“Calm down, Sophia.”
He reached out to grab her arm, but she walked ahead and said,
“Get the carriage ready, Felix. I have to go.”
“Go? Go where?”
“To Solid’s house.”
“Solid’s probably not ready for visitors, Sophia.”
For a moment, Sophia’s face almost crumbled. But she quickly pulled herself together and said,
“I won’t stay long. I just want to see her face. The reporters must have misunderstood something. The paper was wrong. I need to check. I can’t just sit here and do nothing, Felix.”
At her stubborn words, Felix’s face darkened.
“The papers weren’t wrong, Sophia. How could so many of them all be wrong at once? Solid really did lose her baby. It’s sad, but there’s nothing we can do. I know you’re shocked too, but in the end, you’re just her friend. You need to think more about Solid and her family than about yourself.”
At that, Sophia froze. She didn’t want to admit it, but Felix was right. The reason she was acting like this was more for herself than for Solid. She was pushing to see Solid just to ease her own fear and anxiety.
Realizing that drained all the energy from her body.
Without a word, she turned and went back into her room. Felix stood there for a moment, wondering whether to follow her. Then he whispered to the servant next to him,
“I think the duke should come. Contact Rillum right away.”
The servant’s face brightened and she quickly went down the stairs. Felix looked at Sophia’s tightly shut door, sighed, and headed to his father’s office.
The duke arrived four hours later. He had already heard that Sophia had shut herself in her room after learning about Solid’s miscarriage. The servants, seeing the duke arrive, spoke as if only he could fix everything.
“Miss skipped dinner.”
“She hasn’t moved from her room, and we haven’t heard a sound. That’s even scarier, you know?”
“They’ve been so close since they were children. I’m sure she’s feeling awful.”
To those words, the duke had only one response.
“I see.”
But no one minded his lack of emotion. The important thing was that he came, and everyone believed he would comfort Sophia like a true fiancé.
“Yes, really. You saw it last time too. When Lady Sandel left, Miss was so upset! Ah, we’re here. Please take care of her, Your Grace.”
The maid led him to Sophia’s door, bowed, and left. Technically, it was improper for a man—even a fiancé—to be alone with a lady in her room. But since the duke had stayed beside Sophia’s bed through her five-month coma, everyone made an exception for him.
The duke waited until the maid was gone before knocking on the door.
“Sophia, it’s me.”
He had a slightly annoyed look on his face.
He expected Sophia to be angry at him.
Last time, when she insisted something bad would happen if they let Solid leave, he had ignored her.
If they had left things alone, the miscarriage would’ve happened here, he thought.
He opened the door. The windows were all open, and a gust of wind blew in as soon as he entered. A light blue chiffon curtain fluttered across the room like a dress dancing alone.
“Sophia?”
He called her gently and looked around. Soon, he found her sitting in front of the terrace, hugging her knees in a single-seater chair.
The duke knelt in front of her and wrapped his arms around her.
“Are you okay, Sophia?”
“……”
“I can’t even imagine how you feel.”
His voice was warm enough to lean on. Sophia clenched her teeth, trying not to fall apart. But she kept losing strength from her fingertips and toes.
After a long silence, she finally spoke.
“I didn’t think the baby would die.”
Sophia said.
“When I smelled that scent… I only thought about Solid. I didn’t think about the baby at all. Even when Solid said she desperately wanted that child, that it would change her life… it was just words to me. I couldn’t even feel that the baby existed.”
The duke held her shoulder. Sophia buried her face in his chest and continued.
“Her belly didn’t even look that big. Honestly, I still don’t know. Just like Felix said, it’s Solid and her family who are truly grieving.”
“Do you want to see Solid?”
The duke asked, as if Sophia’s feelings were what mattered most. Sophia nodded.
“Yes. I want to see her. And I want to know. Does she hate me? I think she does. Maybe I really did it. That day… after I met you, I didn’t take my medicine. When I came to my senses, I was on top of her, choking her.”
“What?”
The duke asked, surprised. He clearly hadn’t known.
“Solid asked me not to tell anyone. She forgave me so easily. But now that she’s lost the baby, she’ll never forgive me.”
Her voice shook. Her body tensed like she was trying not to cry. Then a single tear fell. With that, all the emotions she had tried to hold in burst out.
Grabbing the duke’s arm, she cried out in despair.
“I killed it. Because of me… because of me…”
Sophia sobbed. The duke looked at her blankly, as if the choice she made was both pitiful and meaningless.
Self-blame. He had never seen anyone find true peace through that.
He waited for her to fall deeper into despair, then finally embraced her shoulders.
“Shh. Sophia, that’s not it. A miscarriage doesn’t happen just from choking. I’ll find out what really happened. But I’m sure this wasn’t your fault.”
His whisper was calm and steady—something anyone would want to cling to. Sophia cried a little longer but couldn’t ignore the part of her that wanted to believe him.
“But even if it’s not my fault… will Solid believe that?”
She looked up at him with her tear-streaked face. Her sorrow made her look fragile and beautiful. The duke kissed her forehead.
“Of course, Sophia.”
Wrapped in his large frame, Sophia felt warmth and peace.
But the duke was wrong.
Solid did hate Sophia.
And that became clearer with each passing day.
She didn’t reply to any of Sophia’s letters.
Sophia had to secretly contact Ronald just to hear how she was doing.
To Sophia.
Solid has regained some strength, so don’t worry.
—Ronald
To Sophia.
Are you doing well?
About what you asked last time—I can’t give you a clear answer. The situation is very complicated. Honestly, Samuel and the rest of the family are very angry at your household. But Solid doesn’t say anything about it.
Still, don’t get your hopes up. I happened to see it, but Solid threw your letter into the fireplace. Just give her a little more time.
—Ronald
Solid burned her letter.
That reaction was harsher than expected.
Sophia felt ashamed of herself for writing Ronald behind Solid’s back, asking if Solid would ever forgive her.
And in Ronald’s final letter, he wrote this:
To Sophia.
I try not to think about it, but sometimes I can’t help wondering—how did you not know sooner?
You said you could tell by the smell.
I’m not trying to blame you.
But if you really knew and hid it…
I could never forgive you.
—Ronald
Sophia tried to write back, to say she didn’t know, that if she had known, she never would’ve hidden it. But she couldn’t finish.
She collapsed over her desk.
Her soft brown hair flowed down her back in waves, and the letter was soaked with tears, its words smudging and disappearing.
It was clear that Sophia would never send that letter.
