Chapter 56
‘Huh. So…’
This person was the Guide who had been providing Guiding to Dowoon all this time…?
“Ah, of course it’s embarrassing to even call it a pairing. As Guide Seo knows, Esper Cha Dowoon isn’t an easy type to provide Guiding for.”
Yujin continued explaining, but Seoyul couldn’t hear anything. Only the fact that this person in front of him had provided Guiding to Dowoon floated around in his mind.
“I was so relieved when I heard Cha Dowoon Esper had found a real Guide. I’m counting on you from now on, Guide Seo.”
He extended his hand once more. Seoyul stood there blankly before absentmindedly taking his hand. The man shook it vigorously a couple of times, said to work hard, and then quickly disappeared.
“Guide Seoyul. Are you alright? You don’t look well.”
Insung, who remained behind, expressed his concern in his stiff manner. Seoyul automatically replied that he was fine while thinking to himself:
‘Why do I feel this way?’
* * *
It was indeed… a strange feeling to hear Dowoon’s former pair Guide ask him to take good care of Dowoon.
‘It bothers me…’
If asked what bothered him, it was the fact that he wasn’t Dowoon’s first Guide.
Even if there wasn’t a Guide who matched him well, it was nonsensical to think an S-class Esper wouldn’t have been assigned a Guide.
Even when he first looked up information about Dowoon, hadn’t he thought there would be a Guide?
‘Did I really… think I was the first?’
Seoyul thought he had made an absurd misunderstanding and expectation. Without realizing it, he had been feeling proud about being Dowoon’s only person.
‘He said he was A-grade…’
Upon investigation, Shin Yujin was such a famous Guide that he was the first name people thought of when mentioning Association Guides. Not only was his Guide grade exceptional, but his combat abilities were also outstanding, making him well-known for perfectly completing dangerous missions with Espers anytime, anywhere.
It seemed this level of skill was necessary to be Dowoon’s Guide for a long time.
‘The Guiding… must have had some effect for them to be paired?’
Even if the Guiding wasn’t a perfect match, the Association would have paired them if there was even a slight effect.
“Haah.”
Seoyul felt inexplicably gloomy. Though it wasn’t something to be depressed about, he couldn’t stop the sinking feeling.
“I heard Team Leader Shin has returned to the Center?”
When the familiar name popped up, his footsteps automatically stopped. Seoyul unconsciously hid himself behind a wall.
‘Why am I…’
He was bewildered by his own attempt to eavesdrop on the conversation. But his feet wouldn’t move.
“Will he be staying at the Center for a while?”
“Probably. He’s been away for quite some time.”
“Then can we receive Guiding from Team Leader Shin this time?”
“Dream on. Someone like you?”
“Hey! What’s wrong with me! I’m good enough!”
The two seemed to be Espers. They began discussing how highly they regarded Yujin’s Guiding and how good it was.
As rumored, he was an exceptional Guide and appeared to be popular among Espers.
‘What am I really doing? I should go back.’
Seoyul clenched his fists, trying to force his reluctant feet to turn around. But perhaps because his heart felt heavy, his feet wouldn’t move easily.
“But why doesn’t Team Leader Shin have a pair? As an A-grade, wouldn’t it be better to be in a pair?”
“Don’t you know? Team Leader Shin was paired with Esper Cha Dowoon.”
“What? Really?”
“Tsk tsk. How can you be so oblivious to rumors?”
When Dowoon’s name came up, Seoyul couldn’t leave. As if captivated by something, he began to listen to their conversation.
“I heard this from a senior, but they were in that kind of relationship with Esper Cha Dowoon.”
“Huh? Really? No way.”
“It’s true! Think about it—Esper Cha Dowoon hates Guides so much, yet they were paired for a long time. It’s impossible without something between them.”
“Ah… that’s true.”
“That’s why he doesn’t take pairs now. Think about it. Would someone who was paired with an S-class Esper even look at other Espers?”
Seoyul felt like his head had been hit with a hammer.
As they said, Dowoon wasn’t the type to match well with Guides. As proof, hadn’t he personally seen a Guide coughing up blood?
But that wasn’t limited to Guides—it applied to Espers too. He had heard that when Guiding doesn’t match well, Espers also experience considerable discomfort and pain.
In other words, the fact that the two were paired meant they both endured and tolerated that pain. Why would they endure it and maintain their pairing for so long?
There was only one answer. Because they had feelings for each other…
‘Ah…’
Seoyul covered his mouth and hurriedly left the place. He realized why his mood had been so depressed and low.
It was jealousy.
Despite having no right to feel this way, he was jealous of Yujin who had been Dowoon’s pair in the past, and he was comparing and weighing himself against Yujin.
And he realized.
Compared to Yujin, he was an incredibly insufficient existence.
‘The two of them…’
Seoyul recalled each of Dowoon’s kind actions toward him. If he was this good to Seoyul, how much better must he have been to Yujin, who was his lover?
Thinking about it made his chest throb. Images of the two of them being affectionate wouldn’t leave his mind.
Yujin was an impressive Guide who matched well with Dowoon. Both in appearance and in ability.
But what about himself?
‘Too…’
He was plain.
Compared to Yujin, he had nothing better to offer. The only advantage was that his Guiding matched well, but even that had a flaw.
‘Only when happy can Guiding… huh?’
Having thought this far, Seoyul stopped in his tracks.
His Guiding rose to S-class only when he was happy. The only thing he could boast about compared to Yujin.
But how did he feel now?
‘I’m not… happy.’
It was a state where S-class Guiding couldn’t possibly emerge.
* * *
Seoyul felt a vague sense of anxiety.
No matter how accustomed he had become to Guiding, he wasn’t at a level where he could draw out happy emotions when he wasn’t happy.
Since human emotions cannot be adjusted at will, he didn’t think his Guiding would go well.
‘I was just lucky until now.’
He had been able to draw up energy without difficulty simply because every moment with Dowoon had been enjoyable.
‘But it’s impossible… to be happy forever.’
A Seoyul who couldn’t provide Guiding was of no help to Dowoon. Since he didn’t have combat abilities like Yujin, it was difficult for him to follow as a supporter.
Would he be abandoned then?
‘That probably won’t happen…’
Even if he couldn’t provide S-class Guiding, he could still Guide Dowoon with C-class energy. But Seoyul didn’t want that.
He didn’t want to reveal his anxious self and wanted to always show a perfect image. Since it was clear that Dowoon wouldn’t be satisfied with C-class energy, Seoyul wanted to maintain the appearance of an S-class Guide as much as possible.
‘What should I do…’
After much deliberation, Seoyul decided to avoid Dowoon until he could sort out his emotions. Using busyness as an excuse, he ate, slept, and worked in the office, avoiding Dowoon.
Since there were quite a few people in the office who were as dedicated to work as Seoyul, no one found this behavior strange.
But Dowoon was different.
‘It’s gotten… even worse!!!’
He let out a silent scream. After Lee Sunjeong advised him to give Seoyul some space, he had implemented it with a heavy heart. He reduced his visits, which had been several times a day, and tried to respect Seoyul’s personal time.
When he returned home, he would endure his desire to embrace and receive Guiding, instead accepting brief Guiding sessions.
He endured and endured and endured again, hoping Seoyul would open his heart once more.
But…
“Now he doesn’t even come home!!”
Dowoon shouted, clutching his hair. The only people who would listen to such complaints were Sunjeong or Munjin, but both had already banned him from entering due to his constant whining.
So he had no choice but to find someone else.
“Hmm? Guide Seo?”
That someone was Sunghun.
‘To think the day would come when I’d seek advice from Ji Sunghun.’
It was an unavoidable choice because he didn’t have anyone he could call a friend.
Of course, confiding in someone and seeking advice wasn’t the only solution, but if he didn’t do at least this much, his chest felt like it would burst, leaving him with no other options.
“Has he come to dislike me? To the point where he doesn’t even want to be in the same house?”
Dowoon anxiously bit his nails. But to Sunghun, this sight was simply fascinating.
‘Wow… is this really Cha Dowoon?’
Cha Dowoon trembling with anxiety? He was someone who had always remained proud and never showed his true feelings, even when suffering from Guiding deficiency.
How many times had he shaken his head at Dowoon, thinking him cold-hearted? But now, he was just an Esper trembling with anxiety, attaching meaning to each of his Guide’s actions.
Based on Dowoon’s description, it did seem like Seoyul would avoid rather than speak directly, given his personality. But to Sunghun, this worry seemed completely unnecessary.
After all…
‘I thought Guide Seo liked Cha Dowoon too. Is that not the case?’
Seoyul’s face would change color at the mere mention of Dowoon. Moreover, he was the only one who described Dowoon as kind, when Dowoon went around with a scowl, exuding threats.
That kind of thinking was impossible unless he was wearing rose-colored glasses!
“Hmm.”
As Sunghun organized his thoughts, he came up with a good idea. If he could resolve this issue well, he thought he could solidify his friendship with both Dowoon and Seoyul.
Sunghun confidently exclaimed:
“Alright. I’ll help you!”
“…You?”
Of course, Dowoon didn’t trust him at all.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
