Chapter 2
‘This place…’
As he lifted his heavy eyelids, an unfamiliar yet familiar ceiling came into view.
It was that place.
The room he had imagined right before dying, the room where he had stayed with his mother until the end.
‘Is this a dream? Or a life flashing before my eyes?’
It felt too vivid for either. Seoyul slowly raised himself and looked around. He could see an old wardrobe and a desk.
When he had just become a middle school student. These were items his mother had specially prepared, saying he should have a proper place to study now.
But seeing how neatly organized the desk was, it seemed this wasn’t from his middle school days but rather after his mother had passed away.
‘If I’m going back in time, I wish it were earlier…’
Seoyul got up from his bed with a sense of regret. When he opened the creaking window, he could see broken flowerpots scattered on the road that had risen to eye level.
When his mother was alive, she used to grow things like lettuce in them, but after she passed away, he had never paid attention to them.
‘Huh? Wait. This…’
He realized there was no such scene in his memory. He had never seen these broken pots after so much time had passed. Back then, he had been struggling just to take care of himself.
‘What’s going on…?’
Ding.
Just then, a notification sound rang from his phone. Startled, Seoyul carefully walked over and picked up the phone on the desk.
[Did you properly make what’s due for delivery today? Come by 8 o’clock, don’t be late?]
The contact was listed as Manager Kim, one of the organization members to whom Seoyul had supplied Guiding drugs until he was imprisoned.
‘Life flashing before my eyes… shows even this?’
Seoyul hastily shoved his feet into his shoes and went outside. Then, a wind blew through the narrow alley. His hair fluttered in the wind as white cherry blossom petals obscured his vision.
It was a tree his mother had loved during her lifetime, saying that people should live to see beautiful things too.
‘What day is… today?’
Seoyul checked the date on his phone.
[April 15th]
‘…That day.’
That unusually warm day.
The day when white cherry blossom petals scattered like snow.
The day when two paths appeared in his life.
The day that made him regret until death that he hadn’t taken that man’s hand.
‘This can’t be.’
Seoyul hurriedly went back into the room and opened a crumpled paper box. Inside were familiar bottles. Guiding drugs.
With trembling eyes, Seoyul checked the message again. Then, with shaking hands, he looked into the box once more.
‘There’s… one more in here.’
Yes. This was the day when he had increased the quantity for the first time, thinking that if he made even one more, he might be able to pay back his debt faster. It was certain.
‘Could it be… I’ve come back?’
To that day when he was twenty, his most regretful day?
Seoyul sank down. He was confused. Whether he had really gone back in time, why this was happening, if this was really reality—he couldn’t make proper judgments.
But one thing was clear…
‘If this is reality…’
He wanted to change it. He wanted to try being brave. He wanted to discard his foolish past and change his regretful life, change himself.
This was probably the last chance given to him, wasn’t it? A last chance granted by someone who pitied him.
Maybe it was his mother helping him to keep his promise.
‘The sky…’
It’s so blue.
Looking at the sky visible through the doorway, tears welled up for no reason. But this was no time to be lost in sentimentality.
Seoyul wiped his tears and went back into the room. He pulled out a chair that hadn’t been used for a long time, sat down, and picked up a pen.
Digging through his old memory pouch, he began writing down everything he could remember. The events of that day were still vivid, so there was no trouble writing them down. But after being imprisoned, he had no proper way to get information, so he knew little.
Still, there was one thing he remembered clearly.
‘That man will die in one year from now.’
He had heard that the man who had reached out his hand—the hand Seoyul should have grabbed—had died fighting at a rarely opened large-scale gate, after going berserk.
He couldn’t express how much he regretted it. It felt like even the last strand of hope had disappeared with the fact that that man was no longer in this world.
‘His name was…’
He picked up his phone and searched for the man’s name. Unlike then, when he had neither the courage nor the opportunity to look, now he was free.
[Cha Dowoon]
Age: 26
Affiliation: Korean Ability Management Association, Seoul Center
Characteristic: S-class Esper
Below the simple profile at the top, various information appeared. Due to his rank’s fame, most of it was just about where he had been spotted. But there was one piece of information that caught his eye.
â””Is Cha Dowoon really okay? He seems to be looking worse as time goes by?
└└Don’t you know Cha Dowoon has a nasty personality? His face has always been like that.
â””You mean he’s handsome?
â””I heard he can’t receive proper Guiding?
└└What nonsense is this?
‘He can’t receive proper Guiding?’
Now that he thought about it, even on the day they first met, Dowoon didn’t look well. And besides…
‘Ugh… damn it. Of all times.’
He distinctly remembered witnessing him collapse in pain, clutching his head. His face had been pale and twisted into a fierce grimace, with an ominous aura surrounding him.
At the time, he had been so scared that he ran away. But thinking about it now, that wasn’t the appearance of someone who had received proper Guiding. It was a typical phenomenon shown by those who hadn’t received Guiding for a long time.
A side effect of Guiding deficiency.
‘Why… isn’t he receiving Guiding?’
Was there a reason? Originally, S-class Espers were called national treasures and received great benefits and care.
Why would he go berserk a year later? Though the gate was said to have opened exceptionally large, an S-class Esper going berserk wasn’t a common situation.
‘Maybe… he can’t receive it.’
Seoyul had seen countless Espers with poor compatibility with Guides. Most of those who bought Guiding potions from the organization were such people.
The effectiveness of a Guiding potion was determined by the Guide who made it, and compatibility worked the same way. That’s why Guiding drugs that worked well for everyone and had wide compatibility were sold at high prices.
Especially for those who could only get drugs through unofficial channels, they were sold at even higher prices. That’s why Seoyul could sell his drugs.
‘In my case, they said my Guiding potions had much wider compatibility…’
Dowoon might be in this situation too. Moreover, he was S-class. If he couldn’t find a Guide with proper compatibility, compatibility would take priority over rank.
Besides, to perfectly Guide an S-class, multiple people would be needed.
‘Maybe… he could ask for my help.’
Seoyul’s eyes lit up. He couldn’t just receive help from him. The organization was a persistent entity, and no matter how much they were wiped out, they would surely survive somewhere like parasites.
That day was no different.
Although the skill of the special team dispatched by the government was impressive, half of the organization cut off their tails and escaped, building up their forces again.
‘But now it’s different.’
Back then, he was a clueless child, but not anymore. He had seen and heard a lot while being part of the organization for a long time. So he knew how the organization moved, where they kept things, and which routes they used to escape.
If he could use that information, he could deal them a significant blow, if not completely destroy them.
If that happened…
‘Could I also live a proper life?’
Could he overcome his fear?
When he was young, from his father; when he grew up, from organization members.
Having experienced violent words and actions for a long time, Seoyul had a condition where his body would freeze up when witnessing similar types of people.
The violence and atmosphere of the brutal S-class Esper he had seen that day made him even more shrink into himself, as he was already in a withdrawn state.
‘No. I can do it. That’s why I came back.’
He didn’t want to regret again. If he couldn’t escape now, what awaited him was just a cold floor. A life of being imprisoned forever, dying with a broken body from excessive Guiding drug production.
That was the end for someone who couldn’t gather courage and ran away.
‘I must… do this.’
Seoyul, with fierce eyes, made a firm resolution for the first time in his life.
To try to grasp the hand of that Esper who might have been his last hope. To try to escape from the pitch-black darkness.
To start… a new life.
* * *
Time passed, and it was time for his appointment with Manager Kim. Seoyul headed to the organization members’ office with the box of drugs he had to deliver.
After going endlessly through narrow, dark alleys so that the location couldn’t be specified, a shabby building appeared.
There was no sign, and all windows were covered so the inside couldn’t be seen from outside. It was the organization’s headquarters, which he had to visit regularly because his father had sold him along with a large sum of money.
‘Originally, I would have been locked up in one of those rooms…’
The reason he could go around from his home like this was because the organization knew he was someone without the courage to escape.
Of course, after being raided by the Association’s special team, he was imprisoned, saying he needed to be thoroughly managed.
Knock knock knock.
Knock knock.
With a bitter smile, Seoyul knocked on the rusty iron door five times. This was the signal that people like him had arrived.
“You’re here?”
The door swung open, and Manager Kim appeared. Despite it still being spring, he was wearing a thin sleeveless shirt as if showing off his muscles and the tattoos engraved all over his body.
His towering height of over 180cm and bulky muscles were an even greater threat to Seoyul, who felt intimidated by people bigger than him.
Although he had vowed not to be scared before coming here, saying he should be used to it by now, trauma wasn’t something so easy to overcome.
“Yes…”
With his head bowed, he entered with careful steps. The cigarette smell filling the office evoked disgust and at the same time made him realize that he had really returned to the past.
“Let’s see. Did you make it properly or slack off?”
With a casual tone, he placed the box he was holding on the table and counted its contents.
“Oh! What’s this? There’s one more in here?”
“Yes… I had a little extra time…”
He murmured softly, avoiding the surprised eyes of the other. Feeling that this wasn’t any different from the past, he clenched his fist, but couldn’t hide his trembling.
“Hey, why are you trembling like that? I’m praising you for doing well.”
He seemed to be in a good mood, smiling with greedy eyes as he leaned forward. Then, he inevitably repeated what he always said when Seoyul came here.
“Keep doing well from now on. You know that the moment you give even one less, you’ll have to go up there, right? If you want to properly maintain the freedom you’re enjoying now, bring them regularly. Understand?”
Seoyul nodded slightly at those words. But he already knew.
The daily routine of being locked in that small room making Guiding drugs, the endless pain in the continuous time that went round and round like a hamster wheel.
Seoyul already knew such days all too well.
“No answer?”
Manager Kim demanded an answer, growling threateningly. At this, Seoyul’s body stiffened again, but desperately trying to calm himself, he opened his mouth.
“Ah, I know. I’ll make them well next time too.”
“Good. That’s right. You’re nice, which is good?”
Only then did he ease his mood, withdrawing his fierce aura and laughing heartily. Though Seoyul let out a small sigh of relief at this, it was too early to feel safe.
‘Soon now…’
Because the incident he had regretted for so long was about to begin.
—BANG!
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
