# 9
Falling into the water, Jin-ha couldn’t tell if he was sinking or rising. Everywhere around him was filled with deep blue darkness.
His lungs were already short of air.
Jin-ha calmly checked which way the air bubbles were floating and swam upward. Going straight up wouldn’t work. Only after pressing his hands against the ice and moving a bit backward could Jin-ha pull his head out of the water.
“Jin-ha!”
The man pulled up Jin-ha, who was only able to gasp desperately with his hands on the ice. Jin-ha continued to catch his breath while lying face down.
It was cold, confusing, and there was no strength left in his body. For a moment, he couldn’t clearly remember what had happened to him.
“Are you alright?”
Jin-ha reflexively nodded.
“I’m, I’m fine…”
“Why did you save me? Why didn’t you reach out your hand?”
“What?”
“I asked why you did that.”
The man grabbed Jin-ha’s shoulders and shook him while asking. There was madness in his wide-open eyes. Jin-ha, speechless at the wild eyes, finally recalled where they were and what situation they were in.
“This is not the time for such questions! We need to escape…!”
“Answer me, Jin-ha.”
“Does it have to be now?”
“Yes, now.”
The time and place weren’t appropriate for such questions. But someone with fairy sickness wouldn’t have such awareness…
As Jin-ha was thinking this, he spotted a giant spider lying overturned in the distance. It was in a miserable state with broken legs dangling and fluid leaking from various parts of its body.
Noticing that Jin-ha was distracted, the man shook his shoulders.
“I’m asking you! Why are you doing all this for me?”
“A Hunter has a duty to protect civilians—”
“In places without the eyes of others, duty is sometimes no different from a pebble.”
The man knew this fact very well.
He had seen countless instances where duties crumbled in places with no one watching. There was no distinction between men and women, nobles and commoners, the elderly and the young in committing such acts.
The sense of responsibility in the word ‘duty’ was merely a sandcastle that would crumble without supervision.
“Don’t lie to me. Tell me why, tell me the truth.”
“If you won’t believe me, why ask?”
“Tell me the truth!”
Indignation rising from his stomach heated his head. The man gripped Jin-ha’s shoulders even tighter.
“Ugh…!”
Startled by the faint moan, the man released his hands, then fumbled as he tried to grab Jin-ha’s shoulders again. He wanted to hold him, needed to hold him, but couldn’t bring himself to touch him.
Only then did the man realize the reason for the heat burning inside him.
“…This isn’t what I wanted.”
“Pardon?”
“What I wanted…”
The man traced the blood flowing from Jin-ha’s forearm with his thumb. Bright red blood was streaming from the wound.
Jin-ha’s blood wasn’t part of his plan.
In the worst-case scenario, the one who would get hurt was supposed to be the man himself, and Jin-ha’s role was merely to reach out with concern. Since the touch filled with joy and goodwill earlier had made him feel so thrilling, he wondered how a touch filled with worry and sympathy would feel.
“You weren’t supposed to get hurt.”
The picture he had wanted was to build familiarity, cooperate for escape, and then for him to save Jin-ha and be injured by a monster. He wondered how it would feel if Jin-ha caressed him in such a state.
But seeing how things turned out, it was utterly dreadful. Far from exhilarating fulfillment, anxiety that he could have lost Jin-ha consumed him and pounded at his heart.
If he had known it would be like this, he would never have attempted such a dangerous thing.
The man gritted his teeth and roughly embraced Jin-ha. Only when he pressed Jin-ha’s back firmly did a very slight sense of satisfaction dampen him like a drizzle. But even that was very brief.
Yes, it was insufficient. This much couldn’t saturate his insides, which were crawling with anxiety. It was like a few raindrops on a scorching desert—meaningless.
Worse than nothing.
With a voice that was half-tired and subdued, the man whispered in Jin-ha’s ear.
“This is the last time. Tell me why you saved me.”
“…I don’t understand why you’re fixated on this, but…”
“Tell me!”
“Does saving someone need a reason?”
“There must be. No, there should be. How can there be no reason?”
Thanks to being tightly embraced, Jin-ha couldn’t see, but fear had appeared on the man’s face. The statement that there was no reason meant that Jin-ha could commit such acts for any insignificant stranger at any time.
The things he had wanted to possess until now had never caused such problems. That was because they were all objects, or at most, sheep that could be kept in a pen even in the most liberated case.
“…It’s true.”
Jin-ha fell into thought for a moment before whispering gently.
His head was still confused, and the man seemed to have become somewhat strange. But in Jin-ha’s mind, the man was still just a child who came up to his waist. Someone to treat kindly and protect from harm.
Jin-ha extended his hand, patted the man’s back, and said:
“I promised I would save you, didn’t I?”
“…”
“I also promised to protect you.”
“…”
“And to go look for the fairy.”
Though he tried to appear composed, perhaps this man already knew he had been abandoned by the fairy. That might be why he overreacted when he almost lost Jin-ha.
Perhaps because the anxiety and fear accumulated during their escape finally became uncontrollable.
It was a bit strange that the spider was lying far away, but if his guess that this handsome man was originally a Hunter was correct, it could be possible. Of course, it was curious that it wasn’t a charm-related skill.
“Ah…”
A hot breath tickled Jin-ha’s ear. It was a trembling sound, as if desperately holding something back. When the surprised Jin-ha tried to move back, the man hurriedly embraced him tightly again. Then he buried his face in Jin-ha’s neck and took another hot breath.
“Hold me more.”
The heated man whispered with a precarious voice, and Jin-ha, taken aback, patted the man’s back again. But despite doing as asked, the man rubbed his head against Jin-ha’s shoulder in dissatisfaction. It was a gesture as if demanding something.
When the man raised his head a moment later, he wore a pained expression as if gasping for something, but his excitement had subsided compared to before.
“I understand. You, Hunter Lee Jin-ha, must want…”
“Want what?”
“Me.”
Jin-ha pulled his upper body back with a displeased expression. Seeing Jin-ha’s expression, the man giggled and then tilted his head with a languid expression.
“Hunter Lee Jin-ha, do you know?”
“What?”
“Hunter Lee Jin-ha saved my life several times today.”
The man spoke in a peculiar tone that mixed a troubled intonation with a seemingly joyful laugh.
“Well… Protecting citizens is a civil servant’s duty, so don’t mind it.”
“I can’t do that. I really want to repay you.”
“It’s really fine.”
Though Jin-ha declined again, the man didn’t listen at all.
“You said earlier you couldn’t accept a wedding ring because of some law, right? But how much is 50,000 won worth? Would something like a gold necklace be less than 50,000 won?”
He even forgot how much 50,000 won was worth. It wasn’t strange, but it was absurd that such a person was trying to cajole him with promises of gifts. If he were truly a child, Jin-ha would have just said, “Alright,” but since he looked like an adult on the outside, Jin-ha, who was reluctant to lie about legal violations, answered firmly.
“No.”
“Then gold earrings?”
“No.”
“Then a gold ring?”
“No.”
“Then what on earth would be acceptable?”
Seeing the man grumble sullenly, turn his gaze away, and drop his shoulders, Jin-ha laughed.
The fact that he kept talking about gold jewelry despite losing his memory due to fairy sickness suggested he was either originally prone to empty promises or wealthy. For the man’s sake, Jin-ha hoped it was the latter.
Well, if he had the skill to reduce a spider to that state even while without memories, he surely had some wealth.
Thinking this far, Jin-ha brushed away the distracting thoughts and turned back to the man. The man wore an expression as if waiting to see how long Jin-ha would keep thinking about other things.
Jin-ha reached out and patted the man’s shoulder.
“The repayment I want is for you to bask in the sun every day.”
Obvious dissatisfaction rose on the man’s face. He seemed unable to understand what Jin-ha meant. Jin-ha let out a light laugh and continued.
“Go outside, feel the sunlight, listen to music, sing, and engage in some hobbies.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Live happily. That’s enough.”
This was one of the treatment methods for fairy sickness. The joy of fairy sickness patients is initially focused on the fairy, and later shifts to a specific person. If they succeed in escaping that obsession and finding true happiness, fairy sickness can also be cured.
“It might be difficult at first, but I’m sure you can do it.”
“I can’t, not alone.”
The man, who had been listening quietly, blurted out.
“You can…”
“No, not without Hunter Lee Jin-ha.”
While Jin-ha was pondering how to gently convey that this shouldn’t be the case, the man continued.
“So teach me later. In person.”
“Me?”
“Yes, you, Hunter Lee Jin-ha.”
