# Chapter 7. His Finger Must Be Broken
Just because it was my birthday, the morning didn’t start any differently. We’d planned to eat out for dinner, so I had nothing to do until then. My phone didn’t ring except for birthday messages from a few friends I used to hang out with in middle school. And there was no birthday greeting message from Yeonho.
‘Of course. Why would he bother sending a message first thing in the morning? And didn’t Yeonho congratulate me yesterday…?’
I entered the chat with Yeonho, which I had pinned to the top of my message screen, and scrolled through our few lines of conversation. Apart from him asking if it was my birthday and some other chatter, there wasn’t even the first letter of “congratulations” to be seen.
‘…What’s this, if he knows it’s my birthday, couldn’t he at least say congratulations?’
He congratulated other classmates on their birthdays. I’m also one of the classmates. Plus, I even know his number. I hadn’t thought about it yesterday, but if he went through the trouble of asking if it was my birthday, couldn’t he have written those three words, “Happy birthday”? Did his finger break while texting?
‘Is that so difficult?’
The more I thought about it while holding my phone, the more my insides boiled. Clearly this wasn’t something to be greedy about, nor should I be. But it was so annoying that he would lavish inexplicable kindness at other times, yet ignore me when I wanted something.
As I rolled around in bed, I accidentally made eye contact with a stuffed toy by my pillow. It was a rabbit character doll that my younger sister had left in my room a few days ago, saying she’d won it on her way home after drinking.
I’d thought the plastic eyes were somewhat similar to Yeonho’s, but looking at it today, the expression seemed similar too. I pressed the doll’s head on both sides for no reason, then put it away where I couldn’t see it.
Even with his number in my hand, he was still out of reach. I couldn’t snap at him even if I had complaints, nor could I contact him first. Realizing this anew made me so depressed that my mood plummeted rapidly. I didn’t even feel like responding to my family waiting for me outside the room, so I lay back in bed, buried under the blanket, and cursed Yeonho to my heart’s content.
“Yeonho, you jerk.”
***
With this gloomy mood, I wanted to stay holed up in my room, but I was eventually dragged out to the living room. Mom sat me at the dining table and filled a large bowl with seaweed soup, while Dad placed a spoon in my hand. I shook my head, refusing when they even tried to help me drink water, saying I should eat a lot.
“I’ll eat it myself…”
Dad’s face visibly deflated, but that wasn’t my problem. I wasn’t a high-maintenance baby, yet they treated me like a child for every little thing, and it was especially severe on my birthday. If I hadn’t refused, I might have had to wear the bib from when I was a baby and eat seaweed soup that they would spoon-feed me.
Being the late child in a family of five meant experiencing this every birthday. Since my parents still had a good relationship, I thought they might as well have another child.
While I was cursing Yeonho in my room, my family had apparently already eaten, as only my portion was set on the table. Looking at the clock, it was already two in the afternoon. The seaweed soup had beef in it. Half seaweed, half beef. I do like meat, but thinking this was a bit excessive, I looked at Mom. She seemed to interpret this as a sign that there wasn’t enough meat, and tried to add more beef with the ladle to my already full bowl. As I was chewing the dry seaweed soup thoroughly before more meat could be added, I heard someone clearing their throat.
“Ahem, it’s a bit more than last year.”
My younger sister said with a shy face as she handed me a thick envelope. I don’t understand why the person giving the money is the one feeling shy when I’m the one receiving it.
“…Yeah, thanks.”
Anyway, it was a much better gift than a seemingly useless doll or some bizarre self-defense gadget. When I simply placed the envelope on the table, my younger sister looked at me with sparkling eyes. Since she only made that face when she was about to play a prank, I instinctively pulled my shoulders back to create distance.
“Aren’t you going to open it? Aren’t you going to look?”
Contrary to my concern, my younger sister didn’t do anything special except move a little closer to me. If only it weren’t for that incredibly burdensome expression…
“Later…”
“Now! Open it now!”
“Why?”
“I’m curious about your reaction. If you go to your room, you’ll just open it alone.”
“…That’s my choice.”
“Hey, give it back. You don’t deserve a gift.”
“No.”
My sister, though she’s my sister, has a really strange personality. As I was frowning while eating my seaweed soup, my older sister, who was more normal than the younger one, placed a small wrapped box on top of the younger sister’s envelope. Last week she had asked what I wanted, and I casually said running shoes, but judging by the size of the box, it definitely didn’t contain shoes. My older sister always did this—no matter what I said I wanted, she would buy something completely unrelated. Usually things twice as expensive as what I had asked for. Expecting this again, I glanced at the gift and went back to my soup, only to find my older sister also looking at me with that same uncomfortably bright smile. And just as expected, she spoke in an excited voice, wanting something.
“Aren’t you going to open it? Hm?”
“I’ll look at it later.”
“Can’t you open it now?”
“Why? …Are you curious about my reaction too?”
“I just want to see our youngest happy.”
“…Okay.”
“What? Why are you only opening that one? What about mine?”
My younger sister made a fuss, but I only opened my older sister’s gift. After removing the wrapping paper, an elegant-looking box remained, and inside was a watch. I don’t know watch brands, but it looked expensive at a glance. My older sister appeared very satisfied, which confirmed that it was indeed expensive. An expensive watch is a good watch. That was the extent of my appreciation. I said thank you and closed the box again. My older sister immediately urged me to try it on, but I said I’d try it later because it was bothersome.
While saying that, I was actually thinking about something else. Unproductive thoughts like how this watch would suit Yeonho’s wrist better than mine, or how if Yeonho wore this watch and took a photo, it would make a great picture worthy of an advertisement in a magazine. Come to think of it, Yeonho always wore a watch.
Did he receive it as a gift? From whom? His parents, probably? Or maybe a former girlfriend? Was it a birthday present? Would it be okay for me to give Yeonho a gift on his birthday? If I gave something reasonably nice but not burdensome, he’d probably accept it.
‘What would be good…’
Ah, thinking of Yeonho, I slightly touched my phone in my pocket.
How likely is it that Yeonho, being a heavy sleeper, is still asleep? What if that’s why he hasn’t sent a congratulatory message? If that’s the case, I would take back calling him a jerk and all the curses.
Alright, Yeonho you jerk. Later when you contact me, you’d better make the excuse that you were deep in sleep and couldn’t get up. I’ll even believe you if you say your finger was broken. Seriously. You’d better make that excuse.
***
After eating the seaweed soup filled with meat, I couldn’t digest it even until dinner, so I didn’t feel like going out to eat. But I couldn’t resist the teamwork of Mom and my sisters, and Dad’s helplessness. Eventually, we left home around 7 PM. My older sister explained that the reserved restaurant was a place she really wanted to visit, as it was so popular on social media these days.
‘If it’s a place she wanted to go to so badly, couldn’t she go with her boyfriend? Or just a friend?’
Rather than being touched that she had been holding back until my birthday, which was unlike her, I didn’t understand. This was because I wanted to go to any good place, any place worth visiting, any rumored-to-be-good place with Yeonho, not my family. My family would be hurt if they heard this, but regrettably, thoughts about my family couldn’t even fit in like dirt under my fingernails.
‘If Yeonho were here and we spent time together, what kind of conversations would we have?’
Wouldn’t we have forgettable conversations about what we like, my eating habits, how many times I’ve been here, and suggestions to go somewhere else next time?
Wouldn’t he observe people sitting at nearby tables, compliment the staff for being kind, and then give me his share of water when I complain that the ade I just drank is too sweet?
Maybe I could hear about Yeonho’s daily life that I don’t know about. Stories like what he did yesterday, and what he plans to do when he gets home today.
Even while listening to these stories, I would admire every fold of his stylish clothes—not the same school uniform—and then say,
‘That watch on your wrist looks cool. Come to think of it, it’s exactly the same as mine.’
And when I express surprise, Yeonho would take my hand, say “It really is,” and laugh with me, then we’d exchange ordinary conversations again?
With Yeonho, if it were Yeonho, what would Yeonho be like, Yeonho, would he laugh if I did this? Would he like it?
These were just vague thoughts that came to mind whenever I went somewhere.
I surprised myself.
Even after getting to know Yeonho, and even after feeling his alienation, I only thought about my special ability to notice it—I never realized that I liked him.
Every time I saw Yeonho, my stomach tingled and blood rushed to my head, making me dizzy, but I mistook it for the pleasure of being the only one who knew his true self, never dreaming it was because of my feelings for him.
Yeonho had merely spoken a few kind words, smiled at me a few times, and given me very, very small amounts of attention, yet he made me realize a feeling I didn’t know I had—or perhaps one I had deliberately hidden.
Yeonho was amazing. It seemed like nobody else could ever be like Yeonho. Only Yeonho could do that, and that’s why I liked him.
As always, but especially today, I really wanted to see Yeonho. Forget about congratulatory messages—I just wished Monday would come quickly.
Using my birthday as an excuse, Dad and my sisters expressed their intention to have a proper night out. On other occasions, Mom would have extinguished their enthusiasm by setting Dad on fire, but today, Mom seemed to be tolerating a lot because it was my birthday.
‘She could have just gotten angry.’
In the end, after dinner, I had to endure another two hours at a karaoke place.
And now I’m bitterly regretting those two hours. After returning home, I checked my phone to find large red letters on the screen.
[Missed Call 10:20 PM Yeonho]
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
