# Chapter 6. Drama is Just Drama
It was already May by the time our midterm exams, which had started a bit late due to school circumstances, ended. Though Yeonho didn’t seem to study at all, he ranked first in the entire school, just like in his freshman year. Our homeroom teacher seemed pleased that Yeonho had raised the class average.
I overheard some kids saying that our teacher teased the teacher from the next class, saying things like “Our average is better than the next class, so I’ve had my revenge.” It’s incredibly childish. Anyway, our homeroom teacher showered Yeonho with endless praise and even bought him hamburgers. Though Yeonho, who played the biggest role in raising the average, didn’t eat them.
With his build, I thought he could easily eat two or three, but maybe he doesn’t like fast food? I took a big bite of a hamburger and chewed while committing this to memory.
‘Yeonho doesn’t like hamburgers.’
By the way, Yeonho didn’t seem to be in a good mood today. He was like that in the morning too—aside from greeting me, he didn’t speak to me and didn’t sit in the seat in front of me during breaks. The guy who usually looks like he’s smiling even when standing still was giving off such cold vibes, but those idiots hovering around him didn’t notice, making me anxious.
‘What if Yeonho has a big outburst?’
Even someone like Yeonho might become disliked by the other students. Would this be a concern Yeonho would laugh at if he heard it? He’ll handle it well…
Actually, I hope that really happens and none of those flies remain around Yeonho. Yeonho would be happy to be unbothered, and I wouldn’t have to worry about him getting angry…
‘And also… also…’
I already know your true self, so even if you reveal your nature, I won’t be disappointed or hate you. I can accept everything.
Only me.
***
Even by the time I went home, Yeonho’s mood hadn’t improved, and I just hoped his mood would get better over the weekend. I don’t know if it’s because it’s only been a few days, but I’d become accustomed to Yeonho talking to me and touching me, so this distance felt awkward. In the past and even now, narrowing and widening the distance between me and Yeonho solely depended on him.
As I was thinking about Yeonho while being crushed by students heading home on the bus, my phone vibrated briefly in my hand.
I was going to ignore it, thinking my sister was asking me to buy something again, but considering I’d have to deal with her all weekend, I barely managed to raise my hand to look at the screen.
There was a number displayed that I had saved in my phone but had never dialed myself.
[I hear it’s your birthday tomorrow]
[Why didn’t you tell me?]
The messages were from Yeonho.
It was the first time he had sent me messages. Just as I didn’t have any particular business to call Yeonho, he didn’t call or message me either. I couldn’t call him, but I had added his number to my favorites and looked at it several times every night before going to bed. So it was surprising that Yeonho had kept my number in his phone, and I couldn’t believe that he had contacted me even though he was in a bad mood today.
When I didn’t respond after reading it, Yeonho sent another message as if urging me, [Seungwoo].
Yeonho was affectionate even in his messages. It felt strange to get such a feeling from mere data.
‘Ah, come to think of it, my birthday. Is tomorrow my birthday?’
While checking the calendar on my phone and counting the days, I remembered that my mom had asked me this morning if I had any plans for tomorrow. When I said no, she suggested we go out for a family dinner.
So that’s why she asked.
‘But how did Yeonho know it was my birthday?’
I sent Yeonho a reply, [Yeah, that’s right].
As soon as I sent it, the notification “1” disappeared, which told me that Yeonho was continuously looking at our chat. That was also somewhat pleasant.
No, it was extremely pleasant. It was as if Yeonho was constantly watching me. I waited for Yeonho’s next words.
Yeonho sent a yellow smiley emoji and then a short message.
[Do you have plans tomorrow?]
Just as I was surprised by Yeonho’s sudden question, the bus, which was running like a crowded can of bean sprouts, came to an abrupt stop. The bus driver seemed to be shouting something, but buried among the people, I couldn’t hear clearly. Having lost my balance and buried my face in someone’s bag in front of me, I apologized to the bag’s owner while rubbing my squished nose, and only then did I look at Yeonho’s message again.
‘Plans? Why is he asking that? Does he want to meet? Because it’s my birthday tomorrow?’
No. That can’t be it.
It didn’t seem like Yeonho would bother with trivial, annoying things like celebrating my birthday. More than that, the idea of him celebrating someone else’s birthday was completely unimaginable.
Ah, he would say a word or two when there was a public birthday celebration for someone in class. While looking extremely annoyed.
Anyway, just because Yeonho gave me his number, ate lunch with me, and kept touching me didn’t mean I had become special enough to have him celebrate my birthday.
I wasn’t stupid enough to have the delusion that I could receive something that even his self-proclaimed friends couldn’t.
‘He must have forgotten something he wanted to tell me or is planning to tease me again.’
Ah, but imagining it for a moment lifted my spirits.
Yeonho saying ‘Happy birthday, Seungwoo’ with a pretty smile and giving me a hug, or maybe a kiss…
‘You’re crazy, Park Seungwoo.’
I shook my head to dismiss these pleasant thoughts. It took a while to organize my overly excited thoughts.
‘Would I return to my senses if I bury my nose in the bag in front of me one more time?’
Then a fundamental concern arose.
‘I’m supposed to have dinner with my family tomorrow…’
There was no mention of what time or where we would go, and even without it being my birthday, our whole family would go out to eat together two or three times a month.
So tomorrow’s schedule probably wouldn’t be that special, but is this considered a plan if I’m asked?
‘I should say I have plans, right?’
And somehow, I didn’t want to say I didn’t have any. Until now, whether I had plans on my birthday or not wasn’t a significant issue, and I didn’t really care. But as soon as Yeonho, who would care even less about such things, asked, I felt a strange stubbornness. If I said I had no plans, Yeonho might sneer, thinking “That’s what I expected.”
‘What if he sees me as someone without any friends?’
What if he thinks I’m not even worth teasing and stops talking to me? What if he deletes my number from his phone?
[I have plans]
[Ah… Are you going somewhere nice?]
[Just going to have a meal…]
[Haha, what are you going to eat?]
[Don’t know]
[Why don’t you know? You should eat something delicious]
As the screen filled with Yeonho’s name, the corners of my mouth kept twitching so much that I rolled my lips inward and bit them.
Why is Yeonho so affectionate toward me? …No, that’s not it. Maybe he’s just always like this. …Then isn’t that more of a problem? What if his girlfriend misunderstands? If I were Yeonho’s girlfriend, I would be very upset. If it were me, I would confront him immediately and make him delete everything, and tell him not to be so affectionate with anyone but me.
‘If it were me. If I were. If I were Yeonho’s girlfriend…’
It was an unrealistic imagination, but it didn’t make me depressed. It’s not like Yeonho actually has a girlfriend right now, and since he doesn’t have a girlfriend, my contact information won’t be deleted from his phone anytime soon.
At that moment, my stop was announced through the bus speaker. The once-crowded bus had become quite spacious while I was exchanging messages with Yeonho. I quickly pressed the stop button and prepared to get off at the back door. As I looked at our chat again, compared to Yeonho’s affectionate questions and attempts to continue the conversation, my responses were terrible.
‘…Am I being too rude?’
He might think I’m not putting in any effort. He took the time to contact me. If I keep this up, he might not contact me again…
I hurriedly sent the most sincere reply I could.
[Yes, I’ll eat something delicious]
‘Is this good enough? Maybe I should have added an emoji like my dad often uses.’
As I got off the bus at the stop, I opened the emoji window and scrolled down. I never used them before, so I didn’t realize there were so many types. Among them was the one Yeonho had used earlier, and there were also bizarre ones that made my mom cringe when my dad used them. While I was doing that, Yeonho, who had been silent, suddenly replied.
[Eat cake too]
Yeonho seems to think I liked the snacks I ended up eating by chance.
Since it would be weird to correct that misunderstanding, I responded adequately and sincerely.
[Yes, I’ll eat cake too]
[What kind of cake are you going to eat?]
‘A cake is a cake, does the type matter?’
I furrowed my brows trying to recall what kinds of cakes there are. Then I remembered the chocolate cake Yeonho had brought in the morning before.
‘It was probably a gift, right? Who would have given it to him?’
Judging by the packaging, it didn’t seem to be store-bought. That person must have done such a troublesome thing because they liked Yeonho and wanted to confess to him.
‘That’s too bad. Yeonho isn’t the type to fall in love over something like that.’
I recalled the sticky, bitter-sweet taste of the chocolate cake Yeonho had fed me.
[Chocolate cake]
[Yes, eat chocolate cake and make sure to make a wish]
That was the end of Yeonho’s messages. I sent a response [Okay.], but the notification “1” didn’t disappear.
Thinking he must be busy, I went home, showered, and devoured all the spicy braised ribs my mom had prepared, saying it was my “birthday eve.” The food was so spicy that I was still feeling its lingering heat when my second older sister caught me with ice cream in my mouth and forced me to watch a drama with her until late at night. The drama featured child actors. The child actors, wearing school uniforms similar to those at our school, acted perfectly.
The protagonists in the drama fell in love at just thirteen or fourteen, suffering as if they too would die when one of them died. They were so tragic, even though they had only been together for about a month and a few days. It seemed like even adults couldn’t experience such love. I didn’t think I could either.
Even if Yeonho died, I’d probably just be sad for a little while and then move on. Even if I could never see his pretty smile again or hear his affectionate voice.
Even if I could never again see the side of Yeonho that only I knew, I’d probably forget and live on. It would be the same for Yeonho too.
I don’t know why that made me so melancholic.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
