# Chapter 12. I Said I Missed You
The next day, despite all temptations, I cleanly gave up the perfect attendance award I’d been building up for ten years. Not because of Woo Yeonho, but because I actually caught a cold. In truth, other than a slight fever and heaviness in my head, there wasn’t anything particularly painful.
“Cough, cough…”
But when I faked a little cough and exaggerated my condition, my dad made a fuss about taking a half day off work to take me to the hospital, and my mom physically dragged him down to the parking lot. Afterward, I took the medicine mom bought while she was out and slept all morning. These days, whenever I closed my eyes, Yeonho’s face would float around, but maybe thanks to the medicine, I didn’t dream at all, which was nice. After sleeping for several hours straight, around two o’clock I got my appetite back and finished a whole bowl of beef porridge. Once the fever disappeared completely and I felt normal again, that’s when I finally thought about checking my phone.
I needed to deal with what I’d put off until today anyway. The fact that I didn’t have to apologize face-to-face gave me a bit more courage to send a message first. Whether I could actually face Yeonho at school was another question entirely.
‘How many times have I unintentionally rejected him now?’
Even I could see it was enough to make anyone upset.
I hadn’t realized my phone had been off because I’d thrown it in my bag yesterday and hadn’t looked at it since, but the battery had died. This had never happened before, so it was a bit strange. Usually I didn’t use it much, so one charge would easily last two days, but lately I’d been keeping the screen on almost all day to read messages from Yeonho, so it seemed to drain quickly.
‘…Ah, this is also because of Yeonho after all.’
After connecting the charger, the phone turned on shortly after, and as soon as it fully booted up, it spat out a competing chorus of notification sounds.
I couldn’t imagine getting this many messages, was it spam? Spam messages are one of those things that should disappear from this world. It’s annoying to delete them one by one…
[Did you get home safely?]
[I reflected a lot, Seungwoo]
[Next time I’ll definitely get permission first, so please don’t be mad]
The notifications were all messages and call alerts from Yeonho, except for some tactless advertisements squeezed in between and notifications from two group chats.
‘He used emojis last time too… Does he usually use these things…?’
Uselessly cute. The crying emoji with tears dripping down looked exactly like Yeonho’s real face, and I bit my lip. My lips kept trying to curl up on their own. A crying Yeonho? It didn’t suit him, but I wanted to see it just once. When I imagined large tears dropping from Yeonho’s big eyes, it was so pretty that I pounded my blanket again.
Yeonho had sent these cute messages and even left three missed calls in between. It seemed like he was genuinely anxious about making me feel better, which made me feel strange. I was never angry in the first place, but the idea of Yeonho caring this much about me was absurd. The fact that I was included among the things that even Yeonho—who could usually do whatever he wanted—couldn’t control was an incredibly special thing.
Ah, my heart started fluttering on its own again. The thought that I wanted to be special to Yeonho, which had been buried somewhere, began to crawl out, making me feel anxious.
After calling a few times and sending messages with no response from me, Yeonho must have given up, because that was all there was from yesterday. And today there was one text from my homeroom teacher checking on me from this morning, and after that, everything was messages from Yeonho again.
[Why aren’t you at school today? You should come scold me]
[Did you get a stomachache from eating too much ice cream yesterday?]
[Are you very sick? Did you go to the hospital? Have you taken medicine?]
[Your favorite side dish came out for lunch today (photo)]
Among the stream of messages, the last one included a photo of his lunch tray, as if he had been eating lunch when he sent it.
‘What is this cute behavior? Is someone playing a prank with Yeonho’s phone?’
Holding a vain hope that Yeonho’s face might have been reflected in the lunch tray, I tried to enlarge the photo when another message came from Yeonho. This time it was a selfie of him looking quite sulky with his head on his desk, using some popular filter that gave him dog ears and pink cheeks.
“Holy sh—!!!”
Good Lord. As soon as I saw it, I quickly buried my face in my pillow to stop a scream from escaping. It felt like I’d seen something I shouldn’t have.
‘Is this really Yeonho? Is this actually Yeonho?? No way! He’s too cute!’
Like a fish just pulled from water, I flopped around the bed, then opened one eye to check the photo again. Whether I looked twice or three times, it was still Yeonho.
‘C-Can I save this? Would it be okay to make it my background? Yeah, even if Yeonho sees it, what could he say about a photo he gave me? Since he gave it to me, it’s up to me what I do with it!’
Having decided to be shameless, my phone background was soon occupied by dog-eared Yeonho. Even looking at it again, it was murderously cute. I’d never dared to secretly take a photo of him for fear of being caught, but here he was sending one so openly. It was so moving that I wanted to show it off to someone.
‘None of you have Yeonho’s photo, right? But I do.’
A selfie taken by Yeonho himself, no less. Only I had this adorably cute Yeonho.
But that wasn’t the end of it. I hadn’t seen the message Yeonho sent after the photo, and when I discovered it, I was hit with a second wave of impact.
[I miss you]
At this point, I began to have the rational suspicion that Yeonho had mixed up phone numbers.
Right, it doesn’t make sense to show this kind of aegyo to a mere classmate. Did Yeonho get a girlfriend? Should I delete the saved photo? He didn’t seem like that yesterday. Was that actually his girlfriend’s neighborhood? Did he kiss me even though he has a girlfriend? That’s something he could rightfully be dumped for. Does she know her boyfriend kissed another boy?
I want to go tell her. Yeonho kissed me, fed me his ice cream, held my hand, and won a basketball game to bring me apple juice saying he’d feed me.
“This is annoying.”
That came out before I could think further. I was really annoyed. But Yeonho, oblivious, sent another message.
[I know you’ve seen it. Why aren’t you answering? Don’t you miss me?]
‘If Yeonho mixed up chat rooms, that’s his mistake, but do I have to be the one to tell him he’s got the wrong room?’
That made me feel so bad that I wrote back with just the necessary information, forgetting about being nice.
[Hey, you sent the message to the wrong person]
Yeonho must have been staring at his phone instead of paying attention in class because he checked the message right away, but for someone who did that, his reply didn’t come immediately.
‘Is he embarrassed and sending it to his girlfriend now?’
No, a flustered or mistaken Yeonho? That’s completely unimaginable. Is there really someone in this world who could shake Yeonho that much? If there is, I think I’d be a bit jealous.
‘Stupid Park Seungwoo. You should have just pretended to misunderstand. Did you really think you were actually something to Yeonho?’
As I was bitterly mocking myself in my depression, a reply came from Yeonho. Seems like he’d finished damage control.
‘Now he’s probably going to ask me to delete the photo he gave me. I don’t want to delete it…’
If I just say I deleted it, he might try to check, so should I back it up on my computer? Or else…
I was racking my brain trying to find a way to preserve Yeonho’s photo. I simply couldn’t bear to throw away a photo I’d never get again. But making all that worry pointless, the one-line message that appeared didn’t say anything about a misunderstanding or asking me to delete the photo.
[Now I see why you were late. You were thinking something weird again.]
[? I told you, you sent a message to the wrong person…]
[I know it’s Seungwoo]
[You didn’t send it wrong?]
[Would you like it if I did?]
‘He says he didn’t send it wrong? But what about that breathtakingly cute photo and saying he misses me? Are those lovely things really meant for me?’
My head was asking questions, but my rational mind wasn’t in a normal enough state to calmly provide answers. I stared blankly at my phone screen. The screen blurred, and Yeonho’s text messages doubled, then tripled.
It reminded me of when my dad tried to teach me how to see Magic Eye pictures, explaining to look at them a certain way, but I never managed to see the proper image among those strange patterns. I remembered holding the book until my eyes were bloodshot, trying to see a lion with its mouth open or a rabbit standing up. Dad promised to buy me a toy I wanted if I could see even one of them.
‘Maybe it was all a lie and there were only bizarre patterns without any hidden pictures?’
It seemed so foolish. I still can’t see them now.
[Seungwoo, would you prefer if I said I sent it to the wrong person?]
As if reading my wandering thoughts, Yeonho asked for an answer with perfect timing. The three messages became one again. As soon as I saw it, I sent a reply.
[No, I don’t want that]
[I’ll scold you if you think weird things again]
‘What kind of thoughts does he think I had… when he doesn’t even know.’
It was just a text, but somehow it felt like Yeonho was smiling in front of me. I imagined Yeonho threatening to scold me in that low voice that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up, while his face wore a pretty smile.
‘Ah, good Lord. Why is Yeonho so pretty?’
I found myself smiling back at the Yeonho in my imagination. The Yeonho who lived in my dreams or imagination was always sweet to me. That was natural. It was what I wanted. That Yeonho would kiss my cheek when I smiled back and say something like “I like you, Seungwoo.” Each time his lips moved, my cheek would tingle where his lips touched, and I’d reach out to hug his thick neck tightly. When I did that, Yeonho would lower his body and smile as if pleased.
‘…Anyway, if he says the messages were meant for me, it doesn’t seem like Yeonho has a girlfriend. …Him not having a girlfriend… that’s a relief.’
I bit my lip again and very cautiously asked.
[So… can I save the photo you sent?]
After asking, I immediately regretted it.
‘Why am I asking? I could have just secretly saved it like before! What if he asks why I want to save his photo? Should I say I’m collecting photos of all my classmates? Ah, I’m so stupid.’
Since Yeonho immediately checked the message I sent, I couldn’t even delete it. As I anxiously started to add a lame excuse like, well, you see…, Yeonho calmly replied.
[You haven’t already?]
[I have…]
[It’s my first time using a filter. How is it? Am I pretty?]
…Just the photo alone was cute enough to kill me, but hearing it was his first time using a filter made me imagine Yeonho downloading the app and trying different buttons, which made it hard to stay still. I tightly gripped my phone with both hands and pressed it against my forehead, curling up my body. That seemed the only way to keep myself still.
‘Ah, I wish Yeonho would stop being so cute.’
[Ah… um… the dog ears were cute]
[Only the ears were cute?]
[Other things too…]
[I just took a random one. So Seungwoo likes dogs]
‘I just like it because it’s you… Should I say that? It’s the truth.’
No. This kind of thing is better left unsaid. I sent back a casual [I like cats too]. Yeonho was quiet for a moment, then changed the subject with “by the way” and asked about my well-being.
[How’s your illness? Are you okay?]
[Yeah, I’m fine]
[When I said you had a stomachache from eating ice cream, they asked if you were in elementary school]
[Who did?]
[I scolded them, so don’t worry about it]
Kim Jungwoo, maybe? How did you scold them? I was debating whether to type this when Yeonho’s fingers proved faster than mine. It was like his fingers had motors attached.
[Can you come to school tomorrow?]
[Yes]
[I miss you so much, Seungwoo.]
At the unexpected, sudden words, the tips of my ears throbbed and grew hot. It was because I now knew that his earlier “I miss you” wasn’t a mistake either.
‘But is this “I miss you” really genuine?’
What if it’s actually some game or penalty, and if I say I miss him too, what would Yeonho think when he sees it?
Too scared to imagine, I typed it in the chat but hesitated about whether to send it, but seeing Yeonho’s message still there in the chat, I eventually pressed the send button. It felt like I couldn’t hold out without pressing it. My reply appeared beneath Yeonho’s message.
[I miss you too]
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
