#71
Jaeha started walking, firmly interlocking his fingers with the hand Eunhong had offered. As Eunhong followed, holding hands, watching Jaeha’s shoulders half a step ahead, observing the heels of his shoes hitting the ground, and the swaying of his jacket’s back vent with each step, he felt his heart strangely fluttering.
His heart kept pounding. All his nerves seemed to concentrate on their intertwined hands. His palm felt clammy. While this bothered him, he liked that Jaeha’s hand felt the same.
They quickly reached the car, but Jaeha hesitated, not letting go of Eunhong’s hand. It was a first. Eunhong initiating hand-holding and interlocking fingers without any particular reason. It was truly a first, excluding childhood. Perhaps because of this, Jaeha suddenly recalled the time when, after meeting Eunhong with his still chubby cheeks, he had started following him around like an imprinted duckling.
‘Here, hold my hand, Lee Jaeha.’
‘Okay.’
‘You be the mom. I’ll be the dad. I won’t be the bride.’
As Jaeha just stood still, Eunhong tried to withdraw his hand. He even tried shaking it when Jaeha wouldn’t let go, holding on tightly. When Eunhong looked at him quizzically, Jaeha smiled. Handsomely.
“Alright.”
“Huh?”
“Let’s go home.”
Eunhong wondered what this contextless remark meant. Though tilting his head in confusion, he went around to sit in the passenger seat. He wiped his clammy hand on his pants. As soon as he sat down and fastened his seatbelt, Jaeha snatched his left hand as if he had been waiting. Eunhong’s ears flushed gently.
***
Caught in the middle of rush hour, the road home was heavily congested. No sooner had the radio announced news of snow than white specks began settling on the windshield.
“Looks like it’s going to snow.”
“Yeah, it was really cold earlier.”
An awkward atmosphere filled the car. One side casually made a comment, and the other responded nonchalantly, but the conversation ended after just one exchange. It was because of the hand that had been firmly held since earlier. All their attention was focused on that.
“……”
“……”
Eunhong awkwardly tried to twist his wrist to pull away, but the persistent hand caught him again. As if stimulated by this action, the fidgeting only intensified. After continuously tickling his palm, now it was gently rubbing the bones on the back of his hand.
The snowflakes had grown quite large now. They repeatedly stuck to the windshield and were swept away, eventually starting to whiten the edges. Jaeha, who had been glancing at the sky through the car window, spoke up again.
“With the snow falling like this, should we eat out before going home?”
“Huh?”
“It’s a shame to go straight home. We’re in a good mood today, aren’t we?”
Jaeha smiled brightly, his eyes forming crescents. In the car that had become cozy due to the accumulating snow, Eunhong wholeheartedly agreed with those words. It was true that no matter what had happened during the day, seeing this face always quickly improved his mood. The falling snow added to the atmosphere, making it perfect.
Since Eunhong didn’t know any places nearby, Jaeha took charge of choosing the restaurant. After changing direction and driving for a few minutes, the car entered the parking lot of a large hotel in the city center.
As they were guided inside by a manager, Eunhong almost asked if this place belonged to Jaeha too. That is, until what he thought was a wall – caramel-colored glass – smoothly slid open and someone came out from inside. Well, if it’s a restaurant attached to a hotel, it must belong to the hotel… With these idle thoughts, Eunhong hurriedly followed behind Jaeha. The restaurant boasted a quiet and elegant atmosphere. So much so that one might think there were no other guests besides the two of them.
It was fine dining that required such formality that their current attire felt embarrassing, but thankfully they were spared embarrassment as the room was separate. Jaeha, sitting across from him, looked like a masterpiece painting with his sharp-edged suit and impeccable hair. He outshone even the fresh flowers on the table.
“A place like this…”
It looks just like somewhere you’d propose, Eunhong thought, suddenly feeling conflicted. It had been a mistake to let Jaeha choose the restaurant, swept up in the atmosphere. He just fidgeted with both hands awkwardly.
“Hm? You’ll have meat, right, Bunhong?”
“Yeah…”
Jaeha seemed to have no particular thoughts. Eunhong, who had been closely observing him, wondering if he had chosen this place knowing his feelings, started focusing on eating once the food began to arrive.
Watching the manager silently leave the room after explaining the dishes, Eunhong suddenly recalled the day he met Lee Jaeseong.
“I heard you’re opening a franchise. Something with brunch as the main focus. The atmosphere there was nice too. I liked the color scheme of the store.”
Jaeha, who was taking a spoonful of clear soup, opened his eyes wide.
“Jaeseong noona told me to come try the menu with you before opening.”
“Noona told you that?”
“…Uh…, I happened to meet her by chance the other day. After having lunch at the company, I ran into noona passing by, or rather, she spotted me from her car…”
Suddenly realizing he had never mentioned meeting Jaeseong noona to Jaeha, Eunhong belatedly stammered. This is why they say you can’t live after telling a lie. Perhaps noticing Eunhong’s flustered state, Jaeha put down his spoon and wiped his mouth. His gaze turned to the window. Jaeha’s face was reflected in the glass surrounded by the black night view. He slowly opened his lips, which had been pressed into a straight line.
“I’m sorry. Noona went to find you without warning.”
“Huh? No, it’s okay. Why are you sorry…?”
“Noona shouldn’t have done that. She didn’t say anything unpleasant, did she?”
“No, not at all.”
Eunhong waved his hands, explaining on Jaeseong’s behalf. However, Jaeha still looked uneasy.
“I was so happy to see noona after a long time. She’s still so beautiful. It’s amazing how you two look exactly alike… She’s truly a beauty.”
Eunhong, who had been chattering while buttering his bread, suddenly looked up. Jaeha was resting his chin on his hand, looking at him. The person he had just called beautiful was looking straight at him. Somehow feeling choked up, Eunhong gulped down sparkling water.
Dishes featuring ingredients he had heard of at least once, like caviar and foie gras, appeared in succession. Beautiful dishes that stimulated the appetite a little at a time filled the table and then disappeared. Both the taste and design were consistently delicate and beautiful.
The main course, beef, was the pinnacle. As Eunhong chewed happily with puffed cheeks, Jaeha tapped the table.
“Is it delicious?”
“Mmhmm.” Eunhong nodded, and Jaeha smiled, lifting the corners of his mouth.
“There’s a place that does it even better. Let’s go there together next time.”
Jaeha casually promised a next time. If this was already delicious, how good must the better place be? Putting aside thoughts about the price range, this was too much like a date course.
Was he sincere about not worrying? How could he act like this after completely exposing his heart? Eunhong’s heart fluttered at Jaeha’s consistency.
If it were me, I’d be anxious and angry about not getting an answer. Eunhong lowered his eyes, firmly chewing his portion of food. Unaware of Eunhong’s inner thoughts, Jaeha was busy bringing more food to him.
“You should eat.”
“I’ve eaten a lot.”
Jaeha smiled gently after feeding Eunhong until his cheeks were full. Meanwhile, he just sipped his wine.
“You brought me here saying it’s delicious, but why aren’t you eating?”
“I know. I’m not hungry.”
In truth, Jaeha really wasn’t hungry. He always felt this way watching Eunhong eat with puffed cheeks. Actually, it would be more accurate to say he was busy watching. It was amazing how he never seemed to tire of watching Eunhong eat, even though he must have seen it hundreds of times sitting across from him.
After finishing the meat, dessert came as part of the course. Starting with a palate-cleansing sherbet, strawberry-scented chocolate mousse and fruit followed in order. After eating everything served, the manager came to ask what they would like for their final drink. Jaeha and Eunhong chose coffee as if they had agreed beforehand.
As soon as the macarons that Eunhong liked came out, Jaeha picked one up and held it in front of Eunhong’s mouth. His fingertips brushed against the lips that accepted it without resistance. The pheromones that transferred from the touch of his hand felt sweeter than the macaron shell crumbling in his mouth. Jaeha’s eyes captured every movement of Eunhong’s tongue savoring the sweetness.
Pleasant music played in the yellow light inside the window framing the pitch-black night view. The food was delicious, and the person sitting across was beautiful. The fingers that kept trying to pass him delicious things were beautiful. The eyes that kept looking at him were beautiful. The lips drinking wine were beautiful.
“…Jaeha.”
“Yes?”
Eunhong swallowed the sweetness melting in his mouth. The affectionate gaze was sweet. He gulped down the cold coffee. Jaeha quietly watched Eunhong, who had called out but wasn’t speaking.
Eunhong knew he had reached his limit. It was a dead end. He couldn’t keep deceiving Jaeha by constantly running away out of fear of losing something. It was time to gather courage.
“Should we…”
The ice in the empty glass made a clinking sound. As he tried to choose his words, his throat felt dry again. Eunhong moistened his lips with his tongue. He raised his wandering eyes to look directly at Jaeha. Wetting his continuously drying mouth once more,
“Should we try dating?”
He finally said it.
