Yang Garam shifted his gaze from Jeong Seyeon to me. He didn’t seem to realize I was watching him, and when our eyes suddenly met, he looked extremely flustered. It felt like catching a child doing something naughty.
“I’ve finished eating, so I’ll head in now.”
Sure enough, Yang Garam gathered his dishes and got up from his seat first.
“Eat more.”
“It’s fine, hyung. I need to control my weight for an upcoming competition, so I can’t eat much.”
Competition? I was about to ask what competition, but Yang Garam had already turned around. Given his personality, it didn’t seem like he would leave alone after just finishing his meal. Left in this awkward situation with only Jeong Seyeon remaining, I felt a bit uncomfortable.
Anyone could see that Yang Garam’s attitude just now clearly showed his dislike of eating with Jeong Seyeon.
‘I wish he just had something urgent to do instead.’
Living in the same house meant we’d have to see each other’s faces constantly. I inwardly sighed at this already creaking relationship. It was this bad even without Joo Seolhyeon and Do Wonjin present—I couldn’t even imagine how the atmosphere would be when those two joined in. Just thinking about it gave me a headache.
‘It’s my oversight for not considering the relationships between the Guides.’
Annoying as it was, I felt I needed to step in to improve their relationships.
I offered to do the dishes since he had prepared such a satisfying meal, but Jeong Seyeon barely listened and shooed me out of the kitchen. After aimlessly pacing in the living room, I realized I hadn’t unpacked my luggage yet and headed upstairs.
As I nearly reached the top of the stairs, the bathroom door near the staircase opened, and someone with a towel over their head emerged. Though half of his face was hidden by the white towel, I immediately recognized who he was.
I should have just passed by casually, but sweat pooled in my palm gripping the stair rail, and my body froze as if turned to ice. Meanwhile, my heartbeat thundered so loudly that I could hear it clearly in my ears. Anyone looking at me now would see someone terrified that the other person might notice their presence.
Standing at the edge of the stairs meant he could easily spot me with just a slight turn of his head. Unable to move forward or turn back down the stairs, I hoped he would just quietly pass by.
“…”
But Joo Seolhyeon pulled down his towel and looked down at me obliquely. My heart grew heavy like it was submerged in water at the sight of his cool eyes. As a round water droplet that had formed at the end of his wet hair fell, his lips parted, and my increasingly heavy heart finally dropped with a thud.
“What are you doing?”
For him, this would be only the second time seeing me since the contract day, but I had seen his face for five years. Unlike the contract day when I had steeled myself, I was deeply shaken by his sudden appearance.
“Is this the first time you’ve seen a person?”
From his confrontational tone, I clearly felt that the day the official was present was his version of being kind. I forcibly smoothed out my contorting face and gave myself a mental pep talk.
‘If I show weakness here, it’s over. Pull yourself together, Woo Jeongjae.’
The handrail was slippery from the sweat on my palm. I took a short breath, straightened my shoulders confidently, and tucked in my chin. I had always been like a criminal in front of him, intimidated because of my unrequited love, but now I needed to show that things were different. I stared at him firmly, pretending not to be affected.
“Joo Seolhyeon-ssi, you’re being excessive. I was just waiting so I wouldn’t block your path.”
“…”
“And please don’t show so obviously that you dislike me. We’re not the only two people in this house.”
At the end of my sentence, I almost added “like before” without realizing it, but fortunately, I closed my mouth quickly and avoided saying something strange. However, Joo Seolhyeon seemed to have noticed that I was about to say something more, as he didn’t erase his suspicious expression.
“Is that all you were going to say?”
For a moment, I was confused whether he was asking for my opinion or mocking me. Usually, when I said something like this, he would ignore me with a disgusted face and go into his room, but now he was actually asking for my thoughts. The very fact that he was asking me something felt so implausible that his behavior seemed even more ominous.
“Woo Jeongjae.”
Joo Seolhyeon called my name precisely. My heart raced indiscreetly at the sound of a name that had never before come from his lips.
“If necessary for the contract, I can provide Guiding. But beyond that, I have no desire to be particularly friendly with you.”
I couldn’t help but let out a derisive laugh. My anger was slowly rising.
“So don’t put on fake pretenses that don’t suit you, and don’t pretend to be considerate. It’s more irritating.”
He turned away from me with an undisguised look of contempt, as if wondering why he even had to say such things, and I realized for the first time what it feels like to “blow your top.” Heat rose from my stomach to the top of my head, and with that energy, I bounded up the stairs in one breath and grabbed his arm.
I raised the corners of my mouth as I watched Joo Seolhyeon’s face contort under my fierce grip.
“Joo Seolhyeon-ssi.”
“…What is it with you?”
“You should listen to what I have to say.”
When I willingly released him as he tried to twist his arm free, he looked at his reddened forearm and cursed through gritted teeth. His cat-like, aloof eye corners rose sharply. I felt a strange elation as I watched him glare at me with the whites of his eyes showing.
Having always seen eyes filled with contempt, seeing his face purely angry at me felt even refreshing.
“Do you usually not listen to others like this? Well, we won’t be having conversations like this in the future, so don’t bother answering. I’m not curious.”
“…”
“And keep your attitude in check. If you keep acting like this, I might accidentally burn all your hair off because you’re too cute.”
Looking at his face as he tensed his jaw seemingly holding back anger, I stroked his head. It slightly hurt my pride that I had to stand on tiptoes because of our height difference, but seeing his wet hair dry fluffy under the heat from my hand, my pride quickly recovered despite the height difference.
“I believe you’ll do well since you’re smart, Joo Seolhyeon-ssi.”
I gave him a smirk and passed by him to enter my room.
As the door completely closed with a click sound that pierced my eardrum, I silently screamed like a bison and dived onto the bed.
‘I’ve gone crazy, completely crazy!!’
Covered with the blanket up to my head, I hid my face with both hands and rolled frantically left and right.
‘He’ll think I’m a total lunatic!’
I did it in a moment of anger, but thinking about it now, I had gone too far. An Esper should never use their abilities against regular people. This rule applied to Guides as well; there were no exceptions. Espers could only use their abilities on other Espers. It was this premise that allowed the state to give preferential treatment to Espers.
‘I used my ability on a Guide and even threatened him.’
To think I threatened the great Joo Seolhyeon with making him bald.
I relaxed my agitated body and closed my eyes. The water was already spilled. I just wanted to fall asleep and wake up tomorrow.
“But isn’t this fairly reasonable? Considering how much humiliation I suffered from him.”
Sleep wouldn’t come, and as five years of memories with him flashed by like a silent movie, I threw off the blanket that had covered me to the top of my head and shot up. As I panted trying to calm my anger, my throat grew increasingly hot.
“This is so frustrating.”
I had been under the illusion that I was fine because I hadn’t seen his face for a while. But with just that one exchange that barely qualified as a conversation, my heart was already completely turned upside down.
I was truly pathetic.
“I really hate this.”
My persistent unrequited love from age 22 to 27 had erased my existence. Looking back on those five years, everything revolved around Joo Seolhyeon. It was my life, yet I had no memories of myself, only memories of him. I had never been happy, but I clung to the few precious memories I had like treasures and endured.
“But why…”
I thought I had handled the first meeting with composure.
I had also anticipated that we would meet eventually, given that he was a temporary Guide. I wanted to proudly declare that he was nothing to me now, that he should get out of my life.
But reality made me feel even more miserable than I had imagined.
My heart still remembered Joo Seolhyeon more than it remembered me, and I still held onto lingering attachments despite hating the person who had caused me to die from running amok, the one who had never even glanced at me. I swallowed the tears that rose to my throat again and again, pressing my palms against my eyelids.
I kept telling myself not to let them fall, that I had no tears to shed for that bastard, but eventually, my palms became wet.
He was the one I wanted to see even at the moment of my death. I should have known it would end up like this. I had to acknowledge it while swallowing bitter tears.
I should never have gone to meet Joo Seolhyeon.
I cried about Joo Seolhyeon and fell into a light sleep. Even that wasn’t a long rest. I woke up again because of a nightmare and could see from the digital clock on the bedside table that it was just past midnight. I stared at the pitch-black darkness for a long time. When I used to sleep with Woo Jeonghyun, I could look at his face for reassurance and fall back asleep even after having a nightmare.
But now it was different. Woo Jeonghyun wasn’t here, and the room was unfamiliar. There was nothing that could rescue me from my nightmares.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
