#071
“Let’s eat together on the weekend. Dad is busy.”
Jiwoon’s mother said during their family dinner for three.
“Since you’re leaving on Sunday, have a date with mom on Saturday, son.” At the affectionate words, Jiwoon nodded while chewing his braised short ribs.
“I told Professor Kim. If you want to go to law school, you need to pay attention to your grades, so don’t just play around too much.”
“I’ll handle it myself.”
“You talk well.”
Dad, who said he talked to Jiwoon’s department professor today, kept nagging while grinning continuously. Even without deep bonds or memories, they were kind parents.
Jiwoon responded roughly to his parents’ questions and slowly finished his meal.
Me: Did you eat?
Seo Yechan: Yes, what about hyung?
Me: Braised short ribs
Seo Yechan: Sounds delicious, I ate something simple
Me: Good job, eat a proper meal tomorrow
Seo Yechan: You mean cafeteria food ㅋㅋ
Me: No
Me: Want to go to a Japanese restaurant?
Seo Yechan: Wow! Sounds good
Jiwoon repeated Yechan’s positive response several times, then quickly pulled down the corners of his mouth with his hand. He had been smiling without realizing it.
“Ah, I miss Seo Yechan.” A small sigh flowed from Jiwoon’s mouth as he lay on the bed with his eyes closed.
Jiwoon felt like he was dating Yechan these days. The two were living as if they had chosen to voluntarily isolate themselves on campus.
The daily routine of going back and forth between home, school, and Yechan’s house was consistently peaceful.
It was a life with no interaction with anyone other than Yechan, but nothing was lacking. Rather, as each day passed, he seemed to get to know Yechan better, making his heart feel proud.
After that day when he confirmed Yechan’s twisted possessiveness, Jiwoon was intentionally taking better care of Yechan.
He acted so that Yechan could release his emotions gently, kindly, and peacefully. It was because of his resolution to embrace him with love.
And Jiwoon, who was diligently practicing that resolution using their current daily life, naturally had to face the side effects that came from it. Actually, this was something he had vaguely expected since their partnership was established.
However, reality was always much harsher than imagination. Jiwoon let out a small sigh and raised his arm to cover his eyes.
The name of the side effect was greed. It wasn’t just greed derived from their physical relationship.
Yechan smiled brightly while holding a gray doll losing its color. The more Jiwoon tried to extract the twisted things, the more clearly that smile shone.
It would be stranger not to feel greedy while being with such Yechan. Jiwoon bit his lips. Fucking unrequited love.
His grave, that pitch-black pit, was newly forming. Jiwoon trembled as he diligently poured soil called resignation into the pit.
What are you doing? You have to send him away later. Jiwoon suppressed his greed again by picturing Yechan’s happiness.
The seat next to a happy Yechan wasn’t his.
* * *
Seo Yechan: Have a good time with your mother
Me: You have a good time with your appointment too
Me: Drive defensively
Seo Yechan: ㅋㅋㅋ Yes, defensive driving!
It was the weekend he had planned to spend time with his mother. Jiwoon, who had driven up the hill and arrived at the hotel’s main entrance, got out of the car and handed the keys to the valet parking attendant.
“It’s really been a long time since we’ve been here! The decorations changed. This is nice too, right?”
“It is.”
The interior of the hotel he used to frequent with his mother was still classic. Throughout the Chinese course meal, his mother went on about her boyfriend.
He was a man Jiwoon had met once in London, but whose face was now hazy in his memory. Nevertheless, Jiwoon tried his best to listen to his mother’s stories with concentration.
He finished the meal while giving his honest opinions here and there.
“Let’s go to the lounge. Have some coffee… oh, should we go to the department store too?”
Jiwoon nodded and headed to the lounge. The lounge, which was a semi-open space, had a comfortable atmosphere with spacious table intervals and soft sofas.
While letting the appropriate noise flow through one ear and sipping the coffee that had just arrived, Jiwoon spotted a familiar figure in the lobby he was casually looking at.
It was Yechan.
The expression soon disappeared from Jiwoon’s face, which had widened his eyes. Yechan wasn’t alone. He was with a familiar face.
Cha Yewon was next to him, wearing heavier makeup than when he had seen her before. Feeling like he’d been punched, Jiwoon slowly put down his coffee.
“Son, what’s wrong?”
At Jiwoon’s unusual expression, his mother asked while chewing cake.
“I see someone I know.”
“Really? Who is it?”
His mother, who had turned her head following his gaze, soon glanced at Jiwoon once more and sipped her coffee.
Yewon seemed to be receiving a room key at the reception. Jiwoon wished the two would head to a banquet hall or restaurant instead.
However, the two disappeared into the guest room elevator.
“Who is it?”
Jiwoon put his elbow on his knee and gritted his teeth. As he was thinking about how to answer his mother’s question, a hollow laugh suddenly burst from his mouth.
How do I explain this? It looks like my fuck buddy just went to a hotel room with another woman? Jiwoon imagined his mother responding to his words and shook his head hard.
“…Just someone I know.”
“They must be here to have fun. Son, aren’t you dating?”
At his mother’s strange words, Jiwoon bit his tongue. Whatever Jiwoon’s expression was like, his mother burst into small laughter. “I understand, I won’t ask.”
After glaring at his coffee cup for a moment, Jiwoon slowly composed his expression while listening to his mother’s laughter. The subsequent chatter from his mother didn’t enter his ears at all.
Jiwoon, who was calmly catching his breath, raised his hand to order another cup of coffee. He felt like he needed to chew on something.
Jiwoon, who was crunching ice and continuously watching the elevator, suddenly had his eyes flash. Yechan and Yewon came down from the elevator laughing, returned the card key, and left the lobby.
“Oh my, we’ve been here for an hour already. We drank coffee for too long. Son, let’s go to the department store.”
One hour. It had been exactly one hour from when they started drinking the freshly served coffee until now.
It wasn’t a long time, but it wasn’t short either. Jiwoon’s brain spun rapidly. He took a deep breath.
“Mom, something urgent came up.”
“Huh? What is it?”
“I’ll call you a taxi, take it and go. Sorry.”
Jiwoon, who roughly made excuses to his mother who frowned and asked several times, picked up his phone to call a taxi. And immediately stood up from his seat.
Jiwoon, who was gritting his teeth, typed a message. He didn’t want to make a phone call. The moment he heard Yechan’s voice, he felt like he would smash his phone.
Me: Where are you?
Seo Yechan: Going home
Me: I’m coming over now
The reply came immediately. He couldn’t even remember how he drove. He seemed to have roughly skipped signals and stepped on the gas randomly.
Betrayal filled him to the brim. Fuck, he was arrogant. Intoxicated by the fact that Yechan was obsessed with him, he mistakenly thought there was no one else who could receive that lust besides himself.
His head was complicated.
Is it really her? But didn’t he say he doesn’t contact them? Jiwoon had no information about the person Yechan liked.
Hah. Fucking tired of this. Familiar misery and helplessness rippled and filled Jiwoon’s insides.
Eventually, what filled Jiwoon’s head were disgustingly unpleasant imaginations.
“Whew…”
Jiwoon, who was turning the steering wheel, let out a long breath.
Jiwoon loved Yechan. So even though Yechan had someone he liked but couldn’t be with and asked to be comforted, he willingly went along with it.
Because watching Yechan say he would go anywhere and have a one-night stand was more painful than death, because he was scared Yechan would be ruined.
No matter how much greed filled him, Jiwoon had faced reality all this time. He truly wanted Yechan’s genuine happiness standing next to someone else.
He was coaxing and soothing Yechan to send him away beautifully. That was what he had to do.
But while by Jiwoon’s side, Yechan was going in and out of hotels with women. Especially if the seat next to Yechan belonged to Cha Yewon, that shouldn’t happen even more.
If this was going to happen anyway, why did he say such things to him? Jiwoon wanted Yechan’s pure happiness. But wasn’t this an utterly contaminated and distorted situation?
“Since you can’t be with the person you like, I’ll do it instead. So don’t sleep with other people.” That was their promise.
But Yechan broke it. He couldn’t tell which was the lie, the front or the back. But it was certain that he had deceived him. Jiwoon trembled with betrayal and disappointment.
Scared that Seo Yechan would be ruined? He was already ruined. Fucking hell.
To maintain a relationship of going in and out of hotels alone with a woman while flashing his eyes with possessiveness toward him. The current Yechan seemed like a completely different person from the kid Jiwoon had seen in high school.
He was unfamiliar. Why the hell did that kid grow up like that?
Jiwoon, who had familiarly finished parking in Yechan’s underground garage, jumped out of the car and entered the passcode for the common entrance. Then he entered the building with quick steps.
This time, he had no intention of just letting it slide. He would properly get angry. He no longer wanted to accept Yechan’s revenge or anger.
He can satisfy his desires with Cha Yewon. Tell him to get comfort from her too. Now he no longer had any reason to stay by Yechan’s side.
Fuck. Even in this situation, the tight rising regret for Yechan was fucking annoying. Jiwoon, who had been continuously cursing, shook his head violently.
While pressing the bell and grinding his teeth, Jiwoon finally finished preparing to explode. He would catch and beat up that arrogant little shit who considered him as easy prey, and end everything.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
