#045
The Suneung began. Jiwoon, who arrived at the test site with his parents in the morning, received hugs from both of them in turn before entering through the school gate.
At the entrance, noisy cheering was in full swing. Walking while listening to his high school’s school song echoing from somewhere, Jiwoon’s back figure soon disappeared into the school.
A black Suneung watch was fastened to Jiwoon’s wrist.
Once the test actually started, it went by quickly. During meal time, Jukyung and Choi Min, who had been assigned to the same test site, joined him.
Who is Park Kyungjun eating with? Kyungjun surprisingly has a lot of friends. Jiwoon silently chewed his kimbap while listening to Jukyung and Choi Min’s conversation. The kimbap, made by a skilled lady with soft ingredients, was delicious.
The afternoon time also passed frantically. He thought it had just started, but when he came to his senses, all three subjects had already ended.
Jiwoon’s answer sheet, who hadn’t lost concentration until the end, was completely blackened with answers.
“Jiwoon-jiwoon! Good job. Rest well and see you tomorrow.”
Yoon Jukyung, who he met on the way out, patted his back and quickly ran down the stairs. Jukyung’s expression was bright, as if he had done well.
Jiwoon, who was walking down the stairs step by step, called his mother.
After finishing dinner at the hotel restaurant they had reserved and arriving home, Jiwoon started preliminary scoring as soon as he came out from washing. His grades were much better than expected.
It was a satisfactory result, but somehow he felt a bit empty. What’s this all about?
When he went to the living room and told his parents his preliminary scores, they were delighted. When they said they would buy him a car and told him to choose one, Jiwoon replied that he was sleepy, then went into his room and fell asleep immediately.
Jiwoon, who woke up at dawn, drank a shake and exercised. Even though the Suneung was over, nothing was particularly different. And after finishing his workout, he rummaged through his bookshelf and lined up useful books, workbooks, summary notes, and wrong answer notes on his desk.
When he collected only the best gems among them, exactly five books came out. Three were math books he had organized himself. Jiwoon’s eyes, who had swept the collected books into a shopping bag, turned to his desk drawer.
After hesitating for a moment, Jiwoon took out a watch case positioned deep in the drawer. He opened the case and stared quietly at the still-new white watch for a long time, then lightly kissed the glass part of the watch.
It was really the end. Tears flowed endlessly from Jiwoon’s completely distorted face.
Mom and Dad were in extremely good moods. Throughout breakfast, Jiwoon had to desperately hide his unadapted feelings at the table that was blooming with laughter. He moved the corners of his mouth to force a smile.
After eating and getting into Dad’s sedan to go to school, Jiwoon captured various parts of the road in his eyes. Actually, today was his last day going to school.
Next week, Jiwoon would be in England. Through the car window, he could see the backs of children diligently going to school.
Jiwoon discovered himself looking for someone before he knew it and immediately closed his eyes.
“Jiwoon-jiwoon, so? Just tell me. You did well, right?”
“Yeah. I did well. How about you?”
“Kyaaah! Congratulations! Well, Jukyung just needs to get into any of his target universities.”
Jukyung, being the youngest, said he could go to any of the top three universities. Thinking of Jukyung’s parents, Jiwoon nodded.
“You did well.”
“Is that a compliment?”
Jukyung, who had been grinning, looked at the bracelet on Jiwoon’s wrist and shook his own arm to show it. Jiwoon remembered the bracelet he had casually put on his wrist in the morning.
“What’s this? It’s pretty.”
“I bought it during the festival. It’s our couple bracelet.”
“What about mine?”
“Kyungjun does it with Minkyung.”
“Minkyung is depressed right now because she bombed the Suneung……”
“Don’t you need to be depressed too?”
“Do you want to die, really?”
Park Kyungjun, who had roughly been assigned to a lower-tier Seoul university, shook his fist at Jukyung.
“What about Min?”
“Me too, well, I think I’ll be similar to Jukyung.”
“Min seems to have done a bit poorly?”
“It’s regrettable but…… Well, I’m satisfied with this much.”
“Good job, Min.”
Jukyung pretended to gently hug Choi Min’s back while wildly messing up his hair. Choi Min also didn’t lose and put his arm around Jukyung’s shoulder, playing around.
With the relaxed atmosphere after the Suneung ended, the classroom was bustling everywhere. Jiwoon chuckled, raising the corners of his mouth, and cast his gaze out the window.
The playground was completely empty.
* * *
The homeroom teacher, who comforted the children saying they had worked hard in the first period, called Jiwoon. What the homeroom teacher was most curious about was the Suneung scores.
When Jiwoon talked as if he had gotten several more problems wrong than he actually did, the homeroom teacher’s expression became ambiguous, but Jiwoon didn’t bother to change his answer. It was forbidden to rashly raise expectations with preliminary scoring.
Jiwoon quickly finished talking about universities with the homeroom teacher, who had narrowed down several universities suitable for applying with his preliminary scores.
Then the homeroom teacher soon changed the subject and brought up schedules such as departure for England, attendance, and regular admission application. The continuous stories were exactly as his parents had prepared. Most of it would probably be handled by the secretaries.
Jiwoon gave rough answers and left the teachers’ office. It was break time before he knew it. When he quickly checked his phone, there was a reply to the message he had sent in the morning.
Jiwoon, who hurriedly stopped by the classroom, immediately headed to the central staircase.
“Hyung, hello.”
“Oh, hello.”
“Congratulations on finishing the Suneung. I’ll pray that you definitely get accepted to Korea University!”
Jiwoon, who smiled slightly at Seungwoo who spoke obsequiously, held out a shopping bag containing books and a tin case. Seungwoo, who received the items from Jiwoon, blinked with a puzzled face.
“That’s jelly from England, so you eat it. Keep the shopping bag quietly and give it to Seo Yechan on Monday.”
“Wow, hyung. Thank you! How did you know I like jelly…… But then you’re telling me not to tell Seo Yechan about this right now, right?”
“Yeah. Just stay quiet and deliver it on Monday.”
He’ll either use it or throw it away. Jiwoon, who swallowed his latter words, was about to leave when Seungwoo, who had been hesitating, continued.
“Um…… Seo Yechan’s condition has been a bit off lately. I think he’d be happy if hyung gave it to him directly.”
As soon as Jiwoon heard Seungwoo’s words, he cut him off sharply.
“I don’t want to.”
“Ah, yes. Then I’ll take responsibility and deliver it well.”
“Yeah. Go.”
“Yes, hyung. Please go in!”
Seungwoo captured the back view of Jiwoon walking slowly in his eyes. Yechan had been a bit precarious lately. He seemed to be losing weight, and his words had noticeably decreased.
Even when asked if he had some worries, he wouldn’t answer. Yechan was only precarious, like watching someone walking on a tightrope.
Still, if it was Jiwoon, he seemed like he could catch Yechan. Seungwoo, who had brought up the topic, pursed his lips at the disappointment of being flatly rejected.
Seungwoo, who stared at the place where Jiwoon had disappeared for a bit longer, soon headed to the classroom while swinging his arm holding the shopping bag.
Seo Yechan: Hyung
Seo Yechan: Let’s talk
At the message that came after the second period ended, Jiwoon furrowed his brow. His heart was pounding. Jiwoon turned off his phone and roughly shoved it into his bag.
He missed Yechan. He wanted to talk. He wanted to talk about how the preliminary gathering went and how the Suneung was, what he did yesterday and what he did today, then fall asleep together.
……Fucking hell. Excessive greed kept surging up. Jiwoon, who shook his head to scatter his thoughts, drained the strength from his languid body.
Today was the last day he would be in the same space as Yechan. Thinking that, Jiwoon’s heart gradually cooled as if cold water had been poured on it.
His vision blurred hazily. Jiwoon slowly closed his eyes and imagined chewing up and eating all the buildings of the school.
* * *
“Wow, this is fucking great! Should we eat pizza and go to karaoke?”
Jiwoon, who roughly ignored Kyungjun’s words as he chattered excitedly about finishing school after only four periods, picked up his bag and said.
“I’m going to England.”
“What?”
“When?”
At the sudden words, Choi Min and Jukyung’s expressions were colored with shock.
“The day after tomorrow.”
“Crazy, you’re not joking, right? When will you come back?”
Kyungjun muttered with a disbelieving face.
“I don’t know. Next year?”
“Next year? Are you crazy? You’re coming to graduation, right?”
“No.”
“What the fuck. You’re just leaving like this without saying anything? We haven’t even had a farewell party and you’re going where!”
Jiwoon, who glanced at Kyungjun shouting as if indignant, answered.
“If you want to, come to my house later. Just so you know, my parents will be there.”
“Still, I have to go. Jiwoon-jiwoon is leaving. I’ll contact you later for now! Right now my noona is waiting for me.”
“Yeah.”
Jukyung, who had pouted his lips to the fullest, shook his phone, picked up his bag, and ran out. Jiwoon moved his steps together with Choi Min and Kyungjun.
It was when they were going down the central staircase and exiting through the main gate.
Jiwoon, who hesitated for a moment, slowly blinked his eyes. Even though it was bright daylight, somehow it seemed like night before his eyes. The road he had walked countless times with Yechan under streetlight was before his eyes.
“Ah, fuck.”
Jiwoon barely managed to take a step. With each step, it seemed like the conversations he had with Yechan and the songs they listened to together were dripping out. The tears Jiwoon had poured into his tomb began to slowly shake the foundation.
The playground where he ran with Yechan, the nurse’s office they went to, the cherry blossoms they saw, the sports festival where they laughed, the exams they took, the festival that happened. All of it swept past Jiwoon like a blade.
The tears that had been shaking the foundation broke through the surface and rose up. Jiwoon’s vision became hazy from the tears that seeped in damply.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
