#010
“I didn’t really want to date anyone.”
“Ah.”
“I only dated once. In my third year of middle school, someone confessed to me, and it looked like they’d cry right there if I rejected them. And there were quite a few kids around at the time…”
“How long did you date?”
“I got dumped after just a few days. I don’t think we were really dating anyway, but still.”
“Why did you get dumped?”
“I literally didn’t do anything the whole time we were dating. No contact, no greetings.”
“No greetings?”
“Yeah. Because I wasn’t interested.”
“Haven’t you ever liked anyone?”
“No. Actually, I don’t really understand that stuff. Honestly, isn’t love either a necessity or a desire?”
“Yechan, you sound like a sociopath.”
“Haha. Anyway, I really don’t understand liking someone or anything like that. That’s why you’re fascinating to me, hyung. Do you fall for people that quickly?”
“There were some good ones and some not so good ones. Ah, I get what you’re trying to say.”
Seo Yechan, who had never liked anyone. And those words meant he didn’t have anyone he liked even now.
A corner of his chest ached. At the same time, relief washed over him knowing that heart belonged to no one. Jiwoon slowly closed his eyes at the churning emotions.
“You’ll probably meet someone nice in college.”
Yechan, who had been sitting on the sofa, moved down to the floor. Sitting on the rug and leaning against the sofa, Yechan’s long legs stretched out at length.
Yechan pushed the ice cream container to the far side of the coffee table. Then, tilting his head back, he said:
“Ah, it’s nice that exams are over.”
His refreshing grin was cool. Dimples barely showed on Yechan’s cheeks as he turned his head toward Jiwoon.
Fucking beautiful. Jiwoon squeezed his eyes shut and flopped face-down on the sofa, burying his head in his arms.
“Hyung, are you sleepy?”
Then he was startled by a voice right by his ear. Jiwoon quickly turned his buried head.
Ah. Their faces were too close. Their eyes met. Jiwoon’s throat went dry under Yechan’s steady gaze.
“I’m so happy exams are over.”
Yechan smiled once more. So happy. So happy…
Beautiful Seo Yechan. Fucking beautiful Seo Yechan.
“Right.”
And at the same time as that response, Jiwoon’s head lifted. For a very brief moment, their lips touched and separated.
Yechan stared blankly at Jiwoon’s eyes curving right in front of him, then turned his head away.
He could have had a truckload of girlfriends. With that thought, Yechan wiped his lips with the back of his hand.
“Don’t play weird pranks like that.”
“If you react, it makes me want to do it again.”
Seeing Yechan’s sulky eyes fill with intensity, Jiwoon lightly ruffled his hair as usual. So fucking cute.
Jiwoon turned over and lay flat on his back, looking at the ceiling to calm his racing heart. Yechan asked:
“Aren’t you hungry? What do you want for dinner?”
“Anything.”
“You always say anything.”
The two ordered chicken, chatted for a long time, then parted ways late into the night.
Jiwoon, who had returned home still wearing Yechan’s clothes, collapsed onto his bed. Then he kept pulling down the corners of his mouth that kept rising with his hands.
Kissing a guy and being happy about it. Lee Jiwoon has completely lost it. Well, he lost it a long time ago.
* * *
Yechan, who had been reviewing his wrong-answer notes once more, rested his chin on his hand and fell into thought.
Lee Jiwoon kissed me.
It wasn’t particularly unpleasant or anything. That was a little surprising. Yechan pressed his lips with his fingers while lost in thought.
Suddenly Taehyun’s words came to mind.
Does hyung really like me? Isn’t this kind of thing usually done to someone you like? Ah, but hyung said he had a truckload of girlfriends. Anyway, so he’s probably not gay… Maybe bi?
“Or not?”
Then he remembered the dinner where they had acted completely natural and shared plenty of light conversation.
He had observed this before, but Jiwoon didn’t have that look of wanting something, or having some kind of expectation… In other words, he lacked that particular gaze Yechan had seen countless times before.
He had been quite perceptive about these things. As Yechan pondered, his thoughts suddenly jumped elsewhere.
Come to think of it, Jiwoon had always been endlessly light. His words, his actions, and the person himself—as if he might float away at any moment.
Naturally, physical contact was like that too. Remembering how Jiwoon would casually touch him like it was nothing, Yechan nodded.
“That’s not it.”
Yechan finished his thoughts without difficulty.
He was just playing around. This is just being self-conscious.
Having reached that conclusion, his head cleared. Yechan was quite satisfied with today.
The midterms were over, and he had done well on the exams.
On top of that, hadn’t he finished his math studies well today using the innovative methods Jiwoon had taught him? He felt like he’d sleep well.
* * *
Park Kyungjun: Exams are over? What are you doing? We should get together, right?
Yoon Jukyung: Tomorrow’s Friday, so exciting~
Me: Too lazy
Park Kyungjun: Ah, it’s no fun without Lee Jiwoon~~ã… ã… ã… Minkyung’s friends said they’re coming. Come on, you’ll come, right?
Choi Min: Meeting at Kyungjun’s place?
Yoon Jukyung: ㅇㅇ Kyungjun’s neck will fall off waiting for Jiwoon hahaha
Park Kyungjun: Jiwoon’s coming, right? You said you’d come?
Jiwoon had arrived home after fooling around with Yechan after evening self-study. As soon as he checked the messages, he furrowed his brow.
It was annoying. But it was the weekend after exams.
Will Seo Yechan study tomorrow too? After thinking briefly, Jiwoon left a casual message.
Me: ㅇㅇ
“Oppa!”
“It’s Jiwoon oppa!”
“You’re here, hyung.”
“Jiwoon, Jiwoon, we saved your spot here.”
On Friday, having left school before dinner, Jiwoon changed clothes at home and headed straight to Kyungjun’s place. As he opened the front door, unpleasant air hit him.
“Open a window. Fuck, it’s making me cough.”
At Jiwoon’s words as he frowned, Kyungjun waved his hands toward the window. Someone nearby got up and opened the window wide.
Jiwoon sat in the spot Jukyung had pointed to. It was the center seat of the wide sofa.
“Hyung, did you do well on your exams?”
It was Choi Yeon who spoke to him from across the room. Han Seungwoo and the others were on that side, while Park Kyungjun, Kyungjun’s girlfriend, Yoon Jukyung, and several unknown girls were on this side.
Even though Jiwoon felt the girl sitting next to him looking at him, he deliberately didn’t acknowledge her.
“Just okay. How about you?”
“I worked hard on them.”
Choi Yeon answered with sparkling eyes. It was Yeon’s characteristic gaze. He always looked at Jiwoon like a panting dog.
Yeon is probably second in the whole school. It was Choi Min who had told him about Yechan’s grades.
Blinking boredly, Jiwoon soon took out his phone. Yechan would still be at the academy.
“Oppa, hello.”
That’s when it happened. The girl next to him suddenly spoke to him. Despite her pretty appearance, Jiwoon wasn’t particularly interested.
Uh-huh. Jiwoon answered half-heartedly and picked up a chocolate milk.
“Have some strawberries.”
As he was opening the chocolate milk package, the girl next to him offered him a strawberry on a fork.
Jiwoon opened his mouth and ate the fruit. The girl’s face flushed.
“Do you like chocolate milk? I’m curious about your preferences.”
Why would you be curious about that? Without answering, Jiwoon looked at Park Kyungjun.
Feeling Jiwoon’s gaze, Kyungjun got up and strode over to him.
“Hey, Lee Jiwoon. This is Hyeonju, Minkyung’s friend. She was singing about wanting to see you. Be nice to her.”
Why should I? When Jiwoon looked at Kyungjun expressionlessly, Kyungjun put on airs.
“Hyeonju, Jiwoon doesn’t talk much originally. Please understand.”
“That’s not true? He talks a lot to me, Jiwoon Jiwoon.”
Jukyung, who had suddenly butted in, giggled. Kyungjun and Jukyung bickered over this. As always, they talked about Jiwoon without including him. Fucking boring as usual.
“Hyung, did you have dinner? You like wings, hyung. I saved some for you.”
Choi Yeon placed chicken from a side plate in front of Jiwoon. Jiwoon stabbed a chicken wing with his fork and chewed the chicken.
“Where did Choi Min go?”
“His father called him for a moment. He’ll be back later.”
“I see.”
What Jiwoon was curious about now was roughly the whereabouts of the absent Choi Min. As he was half-heartedly responding to the girl who kept talking to him, when he was getting slightly bored with even that, Choi Min returned.
Choi Min, who said he had talked with his father about grades, whispered something to Choi Yeon. Glancing at that scene, Jiwoon picked up his phone again to check the time. It was time for Yechan’s academy to end.
Me: Where are you Yechan
Seo Yechan: At the academy, going home now
Me: Dizzy
Seo Yechan: Are you sick somewhere?
Me: Noã… ã… Will you study tomorrow?
Seo Yechan: Yeah, want to come over, hyung?
“Jiwoon, Jiwoon, why are you smiling? It’s scary.”
Jukyung, who had gotten up, tried to sneak a peek at Jiwoon’s phone. Jiwoon turned off the screen and got up, grabbing his jacket.
“I’m leaving.”
“Ah, Lee Jiwoon. It’s just getting fun, why are you leaving! Play with Hyeonju a bit!”
“Hyung, are you leaving?”
“Yeah. Don’t come out.”
Jiwoon left Kyungjun’s house, half the people trying to hold him back, half bowing their heads in farewell. Walking the night streets with the scent of spring, his heart somehow felt increasingly light.
Me: Yeah, I’ll come tomorrow. Did you get home?
Seo Yechan: ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ Yeah, I’m home
Me: I miss you
Jiwoon typed out the feelings in his heart.
Seo Yechan: (photo)
Then Yechan, who had immediately checked the message, sent a selfie.
His wet bangs from having just showered covered his forehead. His white face with just one corner of his mouth raised in a smile made it feel as if Yechan was right there in front of him.
Ah, Seo Yechan, you crazy bastard. At the sudden face attack, Jiwoon covered his eyes with his hands and walked the night streets giggling to himself.
Me: ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹
Seo Yechan: I exercised, showered, and I’m about to sleep now
Me: Good job
Seo Yechan: What are you doing, hyung?
Me: On my way home
Seo Yechan: Did you do evening self-study?
Me: No ã…‹ã…‹ Was hanging out
Seo Yechan: ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ Get home safely
Me: (photo)
Jiwoon took a decent selfie under the streetlight and sent it. His features looked delicate under the brim of his white ball cap, making his face appear smaller than usual.
Like an idol. Yechan stared at Jiwoon’s characteristically cold expression for a while, then saved the photo.
Lee Jiwoon: ㅇㅇ Sleep well, Yechan
Me: You too, hyung
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
