#63
Bonoh didn’t think much of seeing Taeseong organizing his clothes. Taeseong was originally the type of person who would sweep, wipe, and organize whenever he had a spare moment, so it even seemed like he was regaining his vitality. That’s why Bonoh could ask so casually.
“Are you sending your summer clothes to your family home?”
The dormitory room that could accommodate only two people provided just the minimum living space. Without any trace of aesthetic spacing, all the furniture was condensed together, and each piece of furniture was given in rather cute sizes. Accordingly, storage space was also limited.
Most university dormitories were like this. The site size was fixed, but to achieve the goal of maximizing student capacity, there was no choice. It was even a dormitory in Seoul, famous for expensive land prices, so no student came in expecting a spacious room in the first place.
For this reason, dormitory students would send the clothes they had been wearing home by delivery whenever the seasons changed, and request that clothes suitable for the newly welcomed season be sent from home. Since Taeseong had always done this, Bonoh thought this time was also organizing in that context.
“No. I applied for dormitory withdrawal.”
“What?”
However, an unexpected answer came from Taeseong. He’s leaving where now? Bonoh couldn’t help but doubt his own ears and ask again.
“I’m not leaving right away, but I’ll leave within a few days once I finish organizing my stuff.”
Taeseong’s voice was calm enough to feel resolute. Bonoh froze in shock. Looking again, Taeseong wasn’t just organizing summer clothes but other clothes as well. He could see T-shirts and summer cotton pants, but among them were things like thin but therefore cashmere knits that wrapped around Taeseong’s upper body nicely.
“…Why? Was I too noisy? I, I was careless lately. I won’t eat potato chips and I’ll follow the rules well, the rules you set too. Can’t you not leave?”
Bonoh’s mind turned completely white. If he leaves the dormitory like this, what about me? Even though they matched their schedules, they couldn’t take major classes together, so only the times matched while the classes were different. Because of this, the days they attended classes together were only three days a week. You could say three days overlapped, but for Bonoh it was only three days.
Moreover, he had gotten to know Taeseong as a dormitory roommate, so if they weren’t roommates, it was obvious what would happen. He didn’t have optimistic thoughts that they would remain friends or meet separately outside of classes. Taeseong was the type of person who didn’t keep friends, and Bonoh had never seen him make time to meet acquaintances.
“The withdrawal application has already been processed. It’s not because of your fault that I’m leaving.”
“Then why are you suddenly leaving!”
In his desperation, Bonoh shouted loudly. He couldn’t understand Taeseong suddenly wanting to leave the dormitory. He wanted to ask if this was also because of that person, but if he did, it seemed like Taeseong would leave immediately instead of within a few days.
“……”
Bonoh stared intently as if urging an answer, but Taeseong kept his mouth shut. And in his resuming to organize clothes, Bonoh could feel his will not to answer. Without knowing it, the strength left Bonoh’s tightly clenched fist.
That evening, Bonoh discovered a new notification on his phone. The notification had appeared quite a while ago, but he had set it to silent during class time, so he could only check it belatedly. This time too, it was a comment from the same questioner.
-How do you confess?
***
As the days passed, the density of items in Taeseong’s area noticeably decreased. Accordingly, Bonoh also became depressed. He had been excited thinking that person he was waiting for a confession from had fallen through, but it felt like he was back to square one. Well, just because Taeseong didn’t work out with someone else didn’t mean he would work out with him.
Still, you could say possibilities had arisen. Bonoh tried to think positively. He recalled the timely comment from the questioner. Judging by the socially awkward tone and the question about how to confess, Bonoh guessed the questioner was young. Probably around middle school age.
How to confess? Obviously you need to book a restaurant with a good atmosphere, prepare flowers that suit the other person, then say let’s start dating from today. If the restaurant’s atmosphere was bad, favorability dropped by 20 percent, and if the prepared flowers weren’t related to the other person’s symbolic color, favorability dropped by a whopping 30 percent.
Putting a ring in the ice cream served for dessert didn’t match the season, and if done wrong, it could break the other person’s permanent teeth. It meant that the other person’s eternal other half might not be you, but implant teeth replacing permanent teeth. Moreover, this method was too well-known, so there was a high risk of being caught the moment you ordered dessert.
Confession wasn’t assassination but theft carried out under tacit permission after sending notice letters several times that you would steal their heart. To be precise, it was bidirectional at the level of taking something the other person had put down, but there was no need to let even the method of how you would steal be discovered, lowering the tension. A little tension was necessary in romance.
Actually, Bonoh had no history of confessing in real life either. Before becoming an adult, relationships started under the other person’s initiative, and his first relationship after becoming an adult also wasn’t a relationship that started with Bonoh’s confession. But he was confident in the information he had learned from bishoujo game experience.
Bonoh wasn’t unaware that bishoujo games were fantasy. But fantasy was unreality that started as a reflection of reality. It would be distorted, but that point was accepted as trivial by Bonoh. The essence of love was also in fantasy. Not meaning illusion, but in the sense that some degree of fantasy or romance was essential to romance.
However, if there was something concerning, it was the fact that they were both men. The other person had a high probability of not being gay. Looking at Taeseong’s uncomfortable face when he was caught with the gay dongman, it was safe to say 100 percent. It was too immediate to be acting to not be caught being gay, and it was an expression that was difficult to fake.
So Bonoh had never even thought about making advances or confessing until now. The probability of being rejected was high, and since they were roommates who had to share the same room, the confession itself could be a kind of violence to the other person.
But since Taeseong had applied for withdrawal, there was nothing to worry about. He wasn’t particularly worried about outing. Taeseong had no friends, and while he might receive some contempt, he wasn’t the type to spread rumors. He could report it if he wanted to, but where would accept a report about being confessed to by a gay person? Moreover, they had slept together several times, so Taeseong wasn’t in a particularly confident position either.
“Are you really leaving?”
Bonoh leaned against the dormitory wall and asked blankly. After saying he would leave the dormitory, Taeseong had been diligently taking out his belongings even though no one was chasing him. Thanks to sending things to his family home bit by bit instead of carrying boxes all at once like moving, he didn’t have much luggage even on the day of leaving. After loading the two boxes of remaining luggage into the car, he had come back up to check if there was anything left behind.
Bonoh had offered to help carry the boxes, but Taeseong firmly refused. The reason was that there wasn’t much luggage, but Bonoh knew he would have refused even if there had been a lot. It felt like he was already putting up walls, so Bonoh was hurt. Being notified as if informed after silently applying for withdrawal was also like that.
So recently, during the few days Taeseong was organizing his belongings, Bonoh was sulking and didn’t talk to Taeseong. Taeseong also seemed to care, but he didn’t particularly start conversations. This state continued until today when conversation finally opened starting with offering to help. As a result, words that Bonoh had been keeping to himself came out. The question of whether he was really leaving implied the nuance of telling him not to go. Taeseong, who had been putting on his shoes, looked at Bonoh like that.
“Kim Bonoh.”
When Taeseong, who had been sitting to tie his shoelaces, stood up, Bonoh’s gaze also followed upward.
“…Why are you calling me when we’re not even roommates anymore?”
Bonoh’s grumbling lips pouted. When Taeseong grabbed both of Bonoh’s cheeks with one hand, Bonoh’s mouth protruded like a duck’s.
“Even without me, don’t make a mess. Don’t get too close with your new roommate.”
“We’ll see.”
“Especially don’t you dare take off your clothes carelessly.”
Power entered Taeseong’s voice as he said that. As soon as you leave, I’ll take everything off, won’t I? I’ll return to my primordial state and stay like that all day, what will you do then? Bonoh wanted to say that, but he knew well that even such words couldn’t hold back Taeseong from leaving.
“……”
“I’m taking this with me.”
Taeseong carefully removed the paper attached to the door so it wouldn’t tear. It was the paper with the rules written on it. So many things had happened because of that one piece of paper. They fought because of it, then it became the reason they stopped fighting, and later it became the reason for sex. Taeseong had deliberately posted it at eye level, so Bonoh faced those rules every time he left the room. The events that happened in the dormitory flashed by like a panorama.
“Joo Taeseong….”
“What.”
When Taeseong grabbed the door handle, Bonoh called his name. He called out to delay his leaving even a little, but once he called out, he hesitated about what to say. The thought of just confessing right here, restaurant and all be damned, also occurred to him. Since the probability of being rejected was high anyway, did favorability matter? He was caught up in such extreme thoughts.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
