#42
In the end, Bonoh failed to move over to his own bed. But since he had absolutely no idea how to face Taeseong, he pretended to sleep. Taeseong got up right away and shook his shoulder to wake him, but Bonoh put on the performance of his life pretending to sleep. When he stubbornly refused to get up, Taeseong stayed still for a moment, then lifted the blanket. He seemed to be observing every corner of Bonoh’s naked body. Even with his eyes closed, the gaze felt so persistent. When he lifted his legs to look between his buttocks, he really wanted to bite his tongue and die.
Only after Taeseong left did he finally open his eyes. Bonoh immediately ran into the bathroom.
Fucking hell. The body he confirmed in the mirror was in worse shape than what he’d seen under the blanket. His chest and inner thighs were covered with red and purple marks, making it look like he had some kind of skin disease. Moreover, the swollen area between his buttocks rubbed when he walked, making it awkward.
But Bonoh hurriedly finished his shower. While drying off, he kept stopping whenever he discovered new marks on his sides near his armpits or lower back, but he hurried since there was no time to delay.
“……”
Coming out of the bathroom, he let out a silent scream at the sight of the t-shirt on the floor. That black t-shirt was what Bonoh had worn out yesterday and what Taeseong had used to wipe the semen off his foot. At the white dried stains, Bonoh squeezed his eyes shut, wrapped it in a towel, and shoved it deep into the laundry basket.
Without even drying his hair, after putting on whatever clothes he could grab, Bonoh steadied his breathing at the entrance. Then he very carefully opened the door and checked the hallway. There was no one in the hallway. Bonoh quickly ran down the stairs toward a place Taeseong would absolutely never go.
***
“Yes, yes. I know you can’t submit overnight passes on the same day… But my grandmother suddenly became critically ill, so I had to rush down urgently…”
Bonoh shrank even more from the gaze he felt beside him but didn’t hang up the phone. He spoke while practically clinging to his phone. He prayed his voice would sound pitiful.
The place Taeseong would absolutely never go was the PC bang. He planned not to return to the dorm even if he had to submit an overnight pass, but while looking for a way to submit it on the same day, a brilliant idea occurred to him. Using his grandmother as an excuse. Since grandmother passed away before I was even born, using the excuse that she collapsed from being critically ill is actually lying about her being alive… so it’s not that big of an act of filial impiety, right? He rationalized internally like making excuses to his guilty conscience.
-Hmm…
Whether it worked, he heard the dormitory administrative assistant’s troubled groan from the other end of the phone. Yes! Let’s push a little more.
“If it’s difficult, please just pretend you didn’t hear this. Is the overnight pass important right now? My grandmother has, hic, collapsed, hup… and… Among all the grandchildren, she, huk, cherished me the most, euhuk. Grandmother… hic.”
He had never even met his grandmother, but if she had lived longer, she probably would have cherished him the most since he was the youngest. Probably. To immerse himself more, Bonoh tried hard to recall sad memories. When he got caught secretly using his hyung’s game console and broke it, or when his noona caught him taking crying selfies. And when noona told the whole family about it. Thinking about his hyung who would hand him his phone telling him to take selfies whenever he cried after that made him feel so wronged that tears welled up.
-Student Bonoh, I’ll process the overnight pass so don’t worry and…
“Die! Die! Ah, that aim really. Should have gotten a headshot.”
Fucking hell!
-…What was that?
“Yes…?”
Just when the administrative assistant was about to give in, someone’s voice interrupted. When he turned around, there was a man wearing a headset playing an FPS game. Things weren’t going well for him as he was almost throwing his mouse while yelling, and unfortunately that sound reached the administrative assistant too. Bonoh deeply regretted not going outside the PC bang to make the call.
-I think I just heard someone saying to die.
“What? My grandmother is critically ill right now, how could such a sound… If it’s not possible, just tell me it’s not possible, how could…”
-Oh, no. Student Bonoh. The overnight pass will be processed.
When Bonoh trailed off as if he couldn’t believe it, the assistant hurriedly changed the subject. And the call ended shortly after. Only then did Bonoh sink into his chair and sigh. It felt like one phone call had shortened his lifespan. He must have been punished for using his deceased grandmother as an excuse. Then he made eye contact with the person next to him who was looking at him strangely, having apparently heard the entire conversation.
“Ahaha…”
When he smiled awkwardly, the person’s expression became even more distorted.
…What now? Bonoh stared blankly at the computer desktop. Normally he would have played games to chase away random thoughts, but in this situation, games definitely wouldn’t catch his attention. The events of that dawn kept replaying over the monitor.
That, that crazy bastard. Not only did he lick my asshole. He put his fingers in and eventually put his own dick…!
Bonoh collapsed face-first onto the keyboard. He didn’t care how the person next to him looked at him anymore. Now wasn’t the time to worry about the person next to him. The problem was that it hadn’t been that unpleasant. That dick, no, that club wasn’t just any dick. Eggplant? Zucchini? No matter what vegetable you compared it to, it wouldn’t be enough. Even though he was ramming such a thing into his ass, it wasn’t entirely unpleasant.
At first, he was confused by the unfamiliar sensation. By the time he realized what Taeseong was doing, he was already exhausted without even the strength to escape. Then a pleasure he’d never felt before swept over his entire body. The violent pleasure that the aggressive Taeseong brought him was far from unpleasant – it was actually good, making him feel self-loathing.
On top of that, he was anxious about what Taeseong would think of him. He already suspected he was gay after getting caught watching porn games. Now he’d be branded as gay with no way out. But thinking about it that way, wouldn’t Taeseong, who did that with a gay guy, also be gay? Bonoh’s head was complicated.
He also couldn’t understand why Taeseong had slept with him. Because he likes me? Bonoh let out a hollow laugh at the hypothesis he’d come up with – it was so absurd. From how angry he seemed, it looked like he did it to punish him. The sex itself wasn’t punishment for Bonoh, but the aftermath of racking his brains and agonizing was punishment enough.
No matter how angry you are, how could you think of doing it with another man? Is he originally promiscuous, sleeping around with anyone? So sleeping with me wouldn’t make much difference? But from Taeseong’s usual behavior, he didn’t seem promiscuous. Though his face and body looked plenty lewd. Considering his level of being a neat freak, he seemed like he wouldn’t even look at one-night stands because they were dirty.
Then why with me? Could it be he made this bold move to get me to leave the dorm? If so, he couldn’t lose. Living in the dorm wasn’t that satisfying, but this was a matter of pride. A man’s pride at that. Bonoh needed to convince himself of his masculinity more than ever. Bonoh firmly resolved never to do what Taeseong wanted.
***
Upon entering the gopchang restaurant, the savory smell of oil and heat hit him all at once. Taking each step was difficult because of his trembling legs, but since the embarrassment of showing that state was greater, Bonoh quickened his pace.
Bonoh had ended up staying all night at the PC bang. It had been almost two days since that incident, but perhaps because he hadn’t slept properly, his thighs still trembled weakly. During that time, Bonoh had skipped all his classes to avoid running into Taeseong. Dozens of calls came from Taeseong, but he didn’t answer any of them.
“What? Did you go to Bukhansan?”
“Aren’t you doing some kind of leg dance?”
Even so, Bonoh’s legs trembled severely enough for Junghwan and Hyungwoo to notice. Both were wrong – my asshole got completely wrecked….
“…Bukhansan was tough.”
Unable to say that, Bonoh lied that he’d been to Bukhansan. Bukhansan was better than a leg dance.
It wasn’t a complete lie. That thing was tough, after all. He seemed to have fallen asleep during it, but what happened after that? Bonoh unconsciously tried to retrace it but shook his head side to side at the memories that surfaced. Even so, he couldn’t shake them off.
“Why the sudden mountain climbing? You’re the guy who hates walking uphill and takes detours.”
“Was it hangover hiking or something?”
“…Yeah, right, hangover hiking.”
Not hangover hiking, hangover sex, you bastards.
Along with the words “It’s hot,” a staff member set down the iron plate. The three men fell silent for a moment.
“It’s already cooked, so you can eat it right away.”
When the staff member left, Hyungwoo and Junghwan fiercely grabbed gopchang with their chopsticks. But Bonoh wasn’t in the mood to eat at all. Looking at the perfectly cooked gopchang glistening with savory oil made him uneasy. My gopchang went through something incredible.
He had somewhat sorted out his thoughts about why Taeseong did that. Bonoh concluded that Taeseong probably did it to kick him out of the dorm. But thinking about how he’d been helplessly swept up in such a thing still made him uneasy.
Was I such an easy man? Moreover, even though Taeseong might have the appearance of my ideal type, he’s still a man. Have I become gay…? Bonoh had never once doubted his sexual identity. Growing up watching porn that his hyung had installed on the computer, Bonoh had never been attracted to male actors. He always preferred women with white skin and large breasts, and got a little more excited when they wore glasses or showed their feet.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
