#10
He had only been spacing out for a moment, but he didn’t know when the conversation had shifted in that direction. Bonoh took a sip of the soju in front of him and said,
“Sexy and glamorous.”
“Ooh, this bastard lives up to his face.”
To be precise, that ideal type was closer to copying what his hyung had always talked about rather than something Bonoh had figured out himself. There was no reason to dislike sexy and glamorous, so it wasn’t wrong… But if he seriously thought about his preferences, he thought his eyes would be drawn to someone with a nice body line and pretty feet. Taeseong’s feet suddenly flashed through his mind, but Bonoh hurriedly shook his head to push away that image.
“But what’s the point of talking about ideal types? Can you actually meet someone?”
“Oh… This is the confidence of someone who got a number, bastard.”
“Number?”
Come to think of it, there was a woman who had asked for his number recently. It happened when he was in the hallway with Hyungwoo, so he had no choice but to show that embarrassing sight completely. He was flustered and shook his head while saying sorry and ran away, but Hyungwoo, who followed him out, pointed at him saying his neck had turned completely red.
“But that woman was pretty, you know? This bastard has eyes in his head. Now that I think about it, he dissed her for not being glamorous.”
“If eyes aren’t in your head, then where would they be?”
“Anyway, they’re stuck way up in the sky.”
After continuing with such useless talk, it was time for the alarm to ring again. The phone screen flickered briefly, showing 1:39. With 6 minutes left before the alarm would ring, Bonoh got up from his seat.
“I’m leaving?”
“Yeah, hope you don’t get scolded by your wife.”
“Fuck off.”
He had come out thinking he’d take it a bit easy instead of running, but when he actually walked while breathing in the night air, he saw a convenience store that he normally wouldn’t have noticed. Bonoh went in there and prepared for tomorrow’s self. Hangover remedy, gum he could chew anytime, and ramen that made his mouth water just looking at the package. After quickly sweeping up everything he saw, paying, and coming out, it was time to run to make it safely again.
Ah, shit! Even though he hadn’t drunk to the point of losing his mind today, running made him nauseous again. Bonoh, who familiarly greeted the security guard, barely passed through the door and got on the elevator. He slid down against the elevator wall and sat there, barely managing to raise his hand to press the 3rd floor button. Sitting on the floor that countless people had stepped on, Bonoh just caught his breath. Still, today the nausea subsided as he sat there, so it didn’t look like he’d have to grab the toilet bowl as soon as he entered.
Bonoh carefully opened the door and entered, roughly took off his clothes, and collapsed on his bed. He checked on Taeseong sleeping in the next bed, but fortunately he didn’t seem to have woken up.
He was less drunk, but having drunk enough to cloud his judgment, Bonoh decided to just leave everything to tomorrow’s self. The convenience store bag hanging on his wrist made noise as it rubbed against the blanket. After barely throwing that bag onto his desk and fumblingly finding only the charger cord to plug into his phone, Bonoh fell fast asleep.
***
Bonoh, the youngest of three siblings, had been at the bottom of the family hierarchy since birth. His parents weren’t particularly strict people, but they didn’t let the hierarchy between siblings collapse. Naturally, he grew up hearing “When mom and dad aren’t here, your hyung and noona are your parents’ substitutes” drilled into his ears.
That didn’t mean it was okay to harass the younger sibling. However, his hyung and noona used it like a permit to work the youngest like a slave. Starting with minor errands like bringing water, to his noona’s English vocabulary copying homework, calling him over when bored to make him do silly dances, and randomly poking him whenever they passed by.
Bonoh had tried rebelling in his own way. However, rebellion returned as greater punishment. Because of this, Bonoh realized that once the hierarchy was firmly established, there was no point in acting up.
Due to previous incidents, Taeseong had been branded in Bonoh’s mind as someone he couldn’t win against even if he fought. Fighting didn’t work against someone who acted shitty like he was properly possessed by an evil spirit from the start. You avoid shit because it’s dirty, not because you’re scared of it. But Taeseong was unavoidable shit and also a tiny bit scary, just about as much as dirt under a fingernail.
There was no point in confronting such shit. Bonoh decided to just try not to clash with Taeseong. When he nagged from the side, he’d just do it without complaint, and he’d refrain from doing things that would make him uncomfortable as much as possible.
However, he couldn’t help feeling defeated. Due to his sense of helplessness, he decided not to go out for drinking appointments for a while. Just thinking about Taeseong acting up when he came home late made him sigh automatically. With his empty heart, Bonoh took advantage of Taeseong being out to buy a bunch of soju packs and hide them in his closet.
Every time he got contacted to drink, he tearfully sipped a pack of soju. It was clearly the same brand he usually drank, but it didn’t satisfy him. Compared to the refreshing soju he drank with his friends in a lively atmosphere, pack soju that had become lukewarm from being hidden in the closet wasn’t exciting at all.
Let’s think about health and raise grades while we’re at it! He tried making such resolutions, but not going to drinking gatherings didn’t mean he would study. That’s why Bonoh planned to spend time rolling around on his bed after dinner today as well. Until a classmate with an anime character as their profile picture sent him a chat.
[Bono-kun, when is our assignment due?]
Bonoh, who had been lying down, bolted upright and sat down. We had an assignment…? Come to think of it, an assignment he had completely forgotten about came to mind. It was a report for Understanding Japanese History class. He hurriedly replied to his classmate and sat at his desk to turn on his laptop.
Trying to write a report for the first time in a year made him desperately want alcohol. Should he take out the one remaining pack of soju from the closet and drink it? Bonoh glanced at Taeseong sitting at the desk next to him. Taeseong had been sitting there for a while, but he looked somewhat ominous.
He ran his hand through his hair while sighing deeply, and also glared fiercely at the air. It had been a while since he’d seen such a terrifying expression. He had thought he wanted to see Taeseong lose his composure and act up recently, but now that he was actually facing it, he was a bit scared.
Naturally, Bonoh reflected on whether he had been too noisy. He hadn’t made any noise and hadn’t done anything that would particularly provoke Taeseong yet. Seeing that Taeseong wouldn’t take his eyes off his laptop screen, Bonoh thought it probably wasn’t because of him.
Then the phone rang. Thinking he should turn it off before Taeseong got angry, Bonoh frantically looked for and picked up his phone. However, Bonoh’s phone was quiet. It was Taeseong’s phone that had rung. Taeseong took his phone and went outside to answer the call.
Left alone, Bonoh was secretly excited at the thought of enjoying his freedom. His solidly hardened mind would soften with a pack of soju, and the report would probably flow smoothly too. However, the moment he opened the closet door, Taeseong came in.
Bonoh, who had casually turned around at the sound of the door opening and saw Taeseong’s face, was startled. Taeseong’s face, which had been white as paper, was red and heated with anger. For now, Bonoh closed the closet door first. He didn’t know what was going on, but he thought there would be trouble if he got caught with the hidden pack of soju at this timing. I need to be careful… Bonoh struggled to focus on his report.
After that, Taeseong went in and out of the room several more times. Seeing him go out holding his phone each time, it seemed to be because of phone calls. The phone rang twice, and another time he went out seemed to be to make a call. Taeseong’s face gradually became more menacing.
“Ah, this fucking bastard.”
Another call came in. Taeseong spat out a curse like a sigh. At the raw, naked curse word, Bonoh’s body flinched. He had often seen him angry, but this was the first time he had spat out curses in such a murderous tone. Come to think of it, Taeseong might have been quite considerate of Bonoh.
Bonoh raised his head and sneakily glanced at Taeseong. Taeseong seemed to find going back and forth bothersome, so he packed up his laptop entirely.
“Um, there…”
“What.”
As soon as Taeseong turned around, Bonoh regretted having spoken to him.
“You can just take it in the room.”
“Ah, sorry. Then excuse me for the phone call.”
At Bonoh’s words, Taeseong seemed to become embarrassed, conscious of his own menacing expression. Unlike Taeseong, who wanted to rest quietly, Bonoh was actually more used to noise. It was because of his noona, who wouldn’t think of hanging up once she started talking to her boyfriend. Bonoh hadn’t said it to be considerate of Taeseong, but because he really didn’t mind.
“Just how many grandfathers do you guys have that one dies every time you do group projects? This isn’t a game where you die and resurrect, you fucking bastard?”
“……”
Or not? Should I have just let him go out?
“Did you think I wouldn’t know you went on a trip? Last week you were babbling with your stinking mouth in the lecture hall about going on a trip for your 100-day anniversary with your girlfriend. If you’re stupid, don’t show off. Idiots like you always lack metacognition so you can’t even discern right from wrong.”
“……”
Bonoh could no longer concentrate on his report. He could only think, I’m glad he doesn’t curse at me like that. Wow, he really was going easy on me until now. It was fortunate he didn’t act up more, because if he had, he would have become the target of those curses. Bonoh secretly swallowed his dry saliva.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
