Chapter 97
At that, all the other students nearby turned to look at me. Naturally, Lee Sung-rok, who was among that group, also spotted me.
I felt my face flush with heat as the attention focused on me became uncomfortable. Especially today, Sung-rok’s gaze felt particularly sharp, almost stinging my skin.
“What brings you to school?”
“Meeting a friend. You?”
“Ah. We’re having an impromptu gathering with club members who are free. Not everyone’s from the club, we invited some close friends too.”
“I see…”
“We’re going to buy ice cream and head to the club room. Want to join us? The air conditioning in the club room is great, and we’ve got lots of new games too.”
Choi Kyung-won went on to give a detailed explanation about the board games he said they’d recently bought. After listening to it all, I shook my head.
“I have a friend waiting for me in the practice room, so I need to go.”
“Ah, can’t be helped then. Did you get home okay that day? From Yongin.”
“Yeah. How about you?”
“I managed fine too. Come to think of it, Joo Kwon-oh was making such a fuss that day, I didn’t even get to say goodbye.”
Kyung-won casually brought up that day. As it happens, I had been a bit concerned about leaving without even seeing his face that day.
“Sorry for suddenly leaving without saying anything.”
“It’s okay. I was so distracted I didn’t even realize you were gone.”
“And that day… um. I was supposed to get something from Kwon-oh, but when I heard he was suddenly injured, I was shocked. I think I reflexively suggested going to the hospital together. Without even thinking…”
“Ah, is that what happened? I wondered why you insisted on coming all the way to the hospital. I thought maybe he owed you money or something.”
“Haha.”
“Just kidding, kidding. You know that, right?”
Kyung-won, who had been speaking with a serious expression, soon giggled saying it was a joke. I nodded, laughing along with him.
Kyung-won suddenly spoke again, as if something had just occurred to him.
“You two didn’t fight at the hospital, did you?”
“M-me and Kwon-oh? Not at all.”
“That’s good then. I’ve been thinking, Kwon-oh seems like the type who hates showing weakness to others.”
“Ah.”
“All-boys schools can be pretty intense, you know. They’re unnecessarily proud, those guys.”
It was similar to what Kwon-oh’s brother had told me. Although Kyung-won seemed slow-witted, he was surprisingly perceptive about these things.
“That could be. Thanks for your concern.”
“Right. By the way, it seems like he’s dating someone these days?”
Just as I thought the conversation was ending and was about to move towards the art building, Kyung-won blurted out a new topic. His voice was full of excitement.
Caught off guard, I tried my best to act as if I was hearing this for the first time.
“Um… really?”
“Haven’t you heard anything?”
“Well…”
“Ah, no. I heard that at a recent drinking party, he kept bragging about how his girlfriend looks like a peach?”
“P…peach?”
For some reason, even though Kyung-won hadn’t given details yet, I felt like the embarrassment would be mine.
“So you don’t know either. Well, apparently she’s like a water peach when she smiles and a flat peach when she’s angry.”
I barely managed to hold back a cough that almost escaped at this embarrassing news.
“It doesn’t seem like he’s lying… And the fact that he absolutely won’t show any photos makes me think she must be incredibly beautiful, so he’s deliberately hiding her? Kwon-oh must be feeling insecure.”
“Ah, um… Is that so?”
“Kyung-won! Are you not coming? We’re going ahead.”
At that moment, one of the club members waiting for Kyung-won called out from behind. Only then did Kyung-won seem to realize he had company, looking surprised.
It was fortunate for me, who had been giving only half-broken responses.
“No, I’m coming now!”
“You should go in quickly. People are waiting.”
“Oh, anyway, I’ll go first. See you later.”
Kyung-won waved at me as he turned towards his group. They all started walking towards the building with the club room. Due to the hot weather, their steps were visibly sluggish.
“Hey, Sung-rok! Bring my tumbler over there.”
Then, a student who had already gone ahead called out to Sung-rok, as if they’d forgotten something. As it happened, he was walking slowly at the very back, so he was closest to where they had originally gathered.
“Alright.”
Sung-rok readily agreed and turned to walk this way. I rolled my eyes and picked up the tumbler a few steps away from me, holding it out to Sung-rok.
“Here you go.”
“Thanks.”
Just as I thought Sung-rok was going to leave after taking the tumbler, he added:
“You didn’t come with Kwon-oh today.”
“……”
Hearing that, it crossed my mind that he might have already noticed something between Kwon-oh and me.
I had been trying not to even consider the worst-case scenario… But I suspected that he might have said those things in front of the bar last time because he knew something.
Once I became conscious of this, my hands started to tremble slightly. I clenched my fists tightly to hide the fact that I was shaking.
But how could Sung-rok know that Kwon-oh and I are dating? Did Kwon-oh tell him?
I quickly concluded that wasn’t the case. If he had told Sung-rok about our relationship, Kwon-oh would have given me a heads up.
“Why do you think I would come with Kwon-oh?”
I asked Sung-rok, doing my best to hide my terrified inner thoughts.
Was my nervousness showing? I felt afraid and frustrated that I couldn’t see what expression I was making right now.
“You two are close, aren’t you?”
As I thought, does Sung-rok dislike the idea of two men dating? Maybe that’s why he’s giving me these looks.
How should I react here?
“What you said that time… What did you mean by it?”
“What did I say?”
His tone when asking back was still friendly, but in the gaze looking down at me, there was a faint wariness and… dimly lingering contempt, wrapped in several layers.
With that, I was certain. That he knew about Kwon-oh and me.
But the question was how he found out. We hadn’t shown any signs on SNS, and I don’t think we had any physical contact near the school.
“You said Kwon-oh’s taste is peculiar.”
“That’s exactly what I meant. I said Kwon-oh’s taste is peculiar, why are you concerned about that?”
“Because you said it to me when Kwon-oh wasn’t there.”
“Ah.”
Sung-rok, still holding the tumbler, briefly looked back. The club members were no longer visible, probably having already entered the building.
After confirming there was no one around, he turned his head back towards me.
“I meant exactly what I said.”
“……”
“Why? Don’t tell me you’re going to confront me for talking behind someone’s back?”
He knew what I meant by my question, but he was pretending not to. It seemed cowardly that he was acting uninvolved when he was the one who had provoked me first.
“So… you meant it in the sense of talking behind his back.”
“But for friends to go this far, how should I put it… it’s strange.”
“……”
“To be blunt, it’s not like I cursed him out, I just said his taste is peculiar. Did that hit a nerve or something?”
“Ah, no… I just…”
I was flustered by his question about hitting a nerve. As I was rolling my eyes trying to find something to say, Sung-rok took a step closer to me.
“Or could it be that you two are dating?”
Gasp.
In that moment, the complex thoughts floating in my head sank somewhere deep in my consciousness. At the same time, my vision turned black as if the lights had gone out.
Seemingly having gained some certainty from my reaction, Sung-rok lowered his voice and said:
“No. I’m not someone who’s against… you know, homosexuality or anything.”
“……”
“But it’s still a shock to find it actually exists around me.”
My hands and feet turned cold from the shock of having my sexual identity discovered by someone. Then my breath caught in my throat.
“Even so, two men doing that is a bit…”
I knew I should say something, but my lips felt glued shut and wouldn’t part.
“……”
I wasn’t truly hurt by the words ‘It’s shocking that they’re gay.’
I already knew that seemingly very sensible and ordinary people can turn into monsters given even the slightest trigger.
Ever since that moment in middle school when a gay student from the same school ended up transferring.
But the problem now was that it involved Kwon-oh as well as me. It was solely for this reason that my lips trembled like aspen leaves in fear.
As I remained frozen for a long time, unable to say anything, Sung-rok shrugged. Watching his back as he turned away with an expression as if he had confirmed he was right, I reflexively followed him. It would be more accurate to say my body moved on its own.
In the short span of just a few seconds, numerous thoughts flashed through my mind sporadically.
Outing is scarier than one might think. It’s frightening to have my relationship with Kwon-oh exposed by others, but what scares me even more is the thought of Kwon-oh being treated the same way as me. I wanted to avoid Kwon-oh experiencing the terrible moments I had seen.
“I think you’re… misunderstanding something. We’re not that kind of relationship.”
Therefore, naturally, I judged that I had to deny our relationship. That was the right thing to do.
