Chapter 78
*
At some point, Ryu Jeong-ha fell asleep as if he had fainted. I’m not sure exactly how many times we did it since I didn’t count, but I was far from satisfied on my end.
As evidence, my dick was still hard. It would seem like it was losing strength and about to calm down if I waited a bit, but just remembering the moist and hot sensation of being inside Ryu Jeong-ha made it stand up again on its own.
However, Ryu Jeong-ha’s lower area was swollen from the forceful insertion. Any further intimacy was out of the question.
Sitting on the bed, I looked down at the sleeping Ryu Jeong-ha. Clothes we had thrown off and used condoms were scattered around the room.
My whole body felt sticky from sweating so much. My wet hair was also uncomfortable. I got up to take a shower, partly to calm down my dick, which was still standing uncomfortably, protesting that my desires weren’t fully satisfied.
Then my gaze fixed again on Ryu Jeong-ha, sprawled out on the bed like he was dead. There were bite marks all over his white body from me biting him here and there during sex.
Come to think of it, what’s the big deal about being erect? Ryu Jeong-ha had a much harder time than me. I should clean Ryu Jeong-ha’s body before washing myself.
It would be too much to wake up the sleeping kid and take him to the bathroom to wash. After thinking for a moment, I turned and brought a wet towel from the bathroom.
Then I started gently wiping down Ryu Jeong-ha’s body, which was covered in sweat and semen.
I don’t care if I sleep covered in sweat, but it’s not okay for him. It would be terrible if his delicate skin got heat rash from leaving him like this.
“Jeong-ha.”
After wiping Ryu Jeong-ha’s back as he slept face down, I muttered awkwardly.
I need to turn him over to wipe his front too. Ah, but is it okay to keep touching him like this when the sex is over?
As I fondled the sleeping kid alone, an unnecessary sense of guilt washed over me. To make matters worse, the kid looked exactly like a high schooler, which made me feel even more guilty. Plus, we’ve only slept together once, we’re not even dating yet.
“I’m not a pervert touching you while you sleep.”
I explained my position to the deeply sleeping Ryu Jeong-ha.
“I’m just wiping you down.”
Really. I don’t have any ulterior motives.
After that self-talk, I carefully turned Ryu Jeong-ha’s body so as not to wake him and wiped his collarbones, shoulders, chest, and stomach.
He must have been so tired that Ryu Jeong-ha, while sleeping peacefully, even made a childlike “koo” sound in the middle.
“Pfft.”
I burst out laughing because the sound was so trivial.
Shit. He goes “koo.” Why is he so adorable?
I stopped still and listened to Ryu Jeong-ha make that cute sound a few more times before continuing to wipe his body, satisfied.
After cleaning him up all the way down as gently as possible so as not to wake him, I got up from the bed. Then I went to the bathroom to take care of my lower half, which still hadn’t calmed down.
I don’t think it was this bad even the first time I slept with a woman. As I showered, I was hit with the realization of my physical reaction. I felt embarrassed by my tactless dick that was still clamoring for more even after making the kid pass out like that.
After the shower, I roughly dried my hair with a towel and came out to see Ryu Jeong-ha lying on my bed right in my line of sight. For some reason, I felt incredibly proud seeing him asleep under my blanket after taking in so much of me.
I fixed the blanket that Ryu Jeong-ha had pushed off while tossing and turning while I was in the shower, then sat down in the desk chair.
Unlike Ryu Jeong-ha who had passed out, I was still clear-headed. Maybe the sleep had fled due to the aftermath of the shockingly amazing night we had.
I quietly watched Ryu Jeong-ha sleep for a few minutes. Then I suddenly remembered the notebook.
I took out the notebook I had put in my bag. My expression hardened when I saw the three characters of the name “Ryu Jeong-ha” written in neat handwriting.
I was supposed to return this.
I was the one who first promised to give it back, so why am I reluctant? What happens after I give back the notebook? I felt frustrated that I couldn’t picture the situation after that.
One thing for sure is that Ryu Jeong-ha won’t take the initiative to be proactive.
Although he confessed that he likes me, Ryu Jeong-ha had a very careful and cautious personality. If I hadn’t caught him with the notebook, there wouldn’t have been any entanglement between us like this until the end of the semester.
Which means that something like today wouldn’t have happened either.
That’s why I was even more reluctant to return this notebook.
Moreover, now I’ve fallen for Ryu Jeong-ha, no ifs, ands, or buts.
Shit.
I can’t help but admit it. I like Ryu Jeong-ha.
To the extent that I can’t even pretend to deny it with half-baked excuses like “I’ll pass on the same gender” or “I’m not gay.” That’s how much I like Ryu Jeong-ha.
On the other hand, I felt refreshed after admitting it. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest.
What’s the big deal about being attracted to a guy? If I like him, that’s all that matters.
If it’s Ryu Jeong-ha. Because it’s Ryu Jeong-ha, it’s perfectly understandable. Isn’t it weirder not to like such a pretty kid?
I thought as I opened the notebook. Let’s get rid of this pathetic denial now.
*
“Joo Kwon-oh, what are you doing there? Aren’t you coming to lunch?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Hey! What are you doing? Pass properly. Are you going to stay out of it, Joo Kwon-oh?”
“Oh, sorry.”
“We just need one more goal, let’s focus.”
“Yeah…”
“Didn’t you bring the printout?”
“Shit. I forgot.”
“What have you been doing lately to be so out of it? Always on your phone. Are you dating?”
“What are you talking about? I’ll go print it now. The file’s in my email.”
“Okay, hurry back.”
The past few days have all been like this. While eating. While exercising. While in class. Everything’s a mess. I can’t do anything properly.
Even as I went to print before the lecture started, I checked my phone. Only uninteresting messages had piled up, and the name I was looking for wasn’t there.
I roughly pushed back the hair that had fallen onto my forehead as I headed to the copy room.
You’re wondering what happened after that night I got drunk and was enchanted by Ryu Jeong-ha?
KakaoTalk messages from Ryu Jeong-ha: 0
Text messages from Ryu Jeong-ha: 0
Phone calls from Ryu Jeong-ha: 0
Conversations with Ryu Jeong-ha: 0
Times I’ve run into Ryu Jeong-ha: 0
I’m recording the worst score in my dating history.
I definitely gave him the notebook too. If he had received it back, there’s no way he’d be this quiet? But he is this quiet.
As I entered the copy room, I checked the time while logging into my email. I need to hurry if I want to get to class before it starts. But because of Ryu Jeong-ha, I don’t feel like hurrying.
Should I just contact him first, pride be damned? But pestering someone to answer quickly after confessing is something only losers do.
Maybe I should have confessed face to face after all? I have no idea what Ryu Jeong-ha is thinking.
“Damn it.”
I sighed, fiddling with the cigarettes in my pocket. I need a smoke.
Is there any need to make someone suffer like this, Ryu Jeong-ha? You’re the one who suddenly confessed first.
I stared blankly at the papers coming out of the copier.
Well. I have that liberal arts class tomorrow anyway, so I’ll ask then. One way or another, I’ll get an answer… no, a resolution.
I snatched up the assignment printouts and headed to the lecture hall.
*
The day of the Culture and Arts Industry and Business Model lecture.
I urged on the sloth-like Choi Kyung-won and entered the lecture hall well before the class started.
In contrast, Ryu Jeong-ha arrived just before the class began, cutting it close.
And he just passes by.
I watched as Ryu Jeong-ha, without even glancing in my direction, tried to go sit far back.
What is this? This reaction. It’s not just unsettling, it’s downright chilling.
This was a situation I hadn’t anticipated. No contact for days, and now he’s completely ignoring me in our shared class?
With this, Ryu Jeong-ha’s answer that I had been wondering about became clear.
I was dumbfounded. The question “Why?” filled my head.
Ryu Jeong-ha clearly enjoyed it that day too, and I even made him breakfast in the morning and sent him off well. What’s with this cold reaction? Nothing has changed from before. No, it’s gotten worse.
Don’t tell me it wasn’t good. Was I the only one who liked it?
Did we just eat breakfast that morning? No. We talked for a long time and fooled around plenty. It was the first time I had opened up so honestly about my family situation as I did that day.
Wasn’t the atmosphere good enough? I even wrote a confession in the notebook and sent it back.
Am I being played right now?
It would be a lie to say I wasn’t shocked by this rejection that had barged into my dating history, which, though not long, had only known success. I was incredibly dumbfounded and flabbergasted.
Wow, he really won’t even glance at me. After we’ve gone all the way.
But there’s one thing Ryu Jeong-ha doesn’t know. I’m not someone who can be easily discarded just because someone wants to use and throw me away. If you’ve eaten, you need to swallow it properly and digest it, right?
I was already in a state where I had admitted that I liked Ryu Jeong-ha. I had no intention of giving up so easily over something like this.
I don’t know why he’s giving me the cold shoulder, but I can just seduce him again.
“Jeong-ha, why are you going over there?”
When I called his name, Ryu Jeong-ha flinched and stared in my direction. An expression that said he wanted to avoid me.
This is a bit much.
“Come here.”
I said, pointing to the seat next to me, undeterred.
After showing signs of hesitation for a moment, Ryu Jeong-ha eventually came and sat next to me awkwardly. I decided to be thankful that he didn’t refuse.
Anyway, it’s clear my confession was ignored.
Honestly, I was confused about whether he had seen the notebook, hadn’t seen it yet, or was still thinking about it.
For now, given Ryu Jeong-ha’s cautious personality, I had to assume there was a high possibility that he was still thinking about it.
Given that I had measured Ryu Jeong-ha several times from my side, he might also be judging the sincerity of my confession as low.
I decided to humbly accept the result. Even if Ryu Jeong-ha, who said he liked me, never approaches me first, it’s enough if I run to catch him first.
I intended to nail it down properly this time.
