Chapter 75
*
On the day of the brunch café part-time job.
Bae Yu-rim really visited the store again with Ryu Jeong-ha. Seeing that she made time on the weekend to come here, it seemed she sincerely wanted Ryu Jeong-ha to get along well with students outside the Painting Department. It felt more like an older sister and younger brother than friends. Anyway, it’s a good development for me.
By the way, Ryu Jeong-ha seems to charm people by playing the younger brother role wherever he goes. It’s funny that I’m included in that.
Anyway. As I expected, Ryu Jeong-ha was indeed avoiding me. When I looked away for a moment, he disappeared from his seat, and when I went outside, I found him smoking far away from the café building.
It was such a secluded spot that I would have missed him if I hadn’t deliberately gone further out to look. He’s not a criminal, why is he hiding so thoroughly to smoke? This is the first time I’ve seen someone whose personality and actions match to this extent.
“Ryu Jeong-ha, are you avoiding me?”
I asked deliberately, even though I knew. I could easily find the correct answer to my question in his flustered face.
Shouldn’t the situation be reversed? I should be the one avoiding, and Ryu Jeong-ha should be the one confronting me about why I’m avoiding him. That would fit our relationship better.
So I was dissatisfied with the clear line Ryu Jeong-ha was drawing. That line should have been drawn by me first.
I wanted to invade that line Ryu Jeong-ha had arbitrarily created and render it all useless. That’s all.
So I… kissed him again.
It was nearly impossible to resist kissing Ryu Jeong-ha beside me. His scent. His face. His gestures. The movement of his lips. Everything drove me crazy.
His every move was so stimulating that I suspected he might be deliberately trying to seduce me.
I sucked hard on the soft lips I had already tasted once. The peach had ripened even sweeter than when I had tasted it before.
A fresh fragrance spread throughout my mouth. There wasn’t a spot that wasn’t soft and tender.
How can a man’s lips be this delicious? Is the problem with me, or with Ryu Jeong-ha?
Moreover, Ryu Jeong-ha was a quick learner. As I had taught him last time, he wrapped his arms around my neck and actively received the kiss. The way he struggled, trying his best to use his tongue, was so cute I wanted to bite and swallow him.
If Ryu Jeong-ha hadn’t suddenly pushed me away, I would have gotten an erection again, unable to hold back like last time.
“I… I think I need to go.”
With his face completely red, Ryu Jeong-ha drew the line again and left.
Left alone in the staff room, I stood there blankly for a while before rubbing my face dry.
I’m really crazy. What was I thinking, doing this in a place where other staff could come in at any time? I had no such intention at all, but…
“Ha.”
I leaned against the wall and chewed on my lips, which had already lost their warmth.
I already missed the sensation that had lingered on the tip of my tongue just moments ago.
Damn it. I had to admit it now. That I’m attracted to Ryu Jeong-ha. Insanely so.
*
Even after kissing in the store, Ryu Jeong-ha never approached me first.
He wasn’t just maintaining a certain distance, he was desperately trying to widen the gap even more.
Why? Shouldn’t he at least pretend to get closer after receiving such signals? Is the love brain structure of men different from women? I can’t tell if I’m sending the wrong signals or if Ryu Jeong-ha is ignoring them.
Not only was there no contact, but Ryu Jeong-ha barely spoke in the liberal arts group chat where he used to chime in occasionally.
Before, I could at least guess what he was up to from his occasional replies, but lately, there was none of that. After Choi Kyung-won and Shin Ji-ye chatted for a while, he would only give a few brief answers when the conversation was almost over. Sometimes he wouldn’t reply at all.
Hmm. Is this the end after kissing twice? It’s too bland. He definitely clung to me eagerly at the café, so it’s certain he enjoyed the kiss too.
But why does he look like someone anxious to distance himself even more?
However, there was a big problem with me contacting him first. The fact that Ryu Jeong-ha is a man.
That itself was a huge obstacle. It’s not an easy situation to handle, meeting a guy.
But it’s certain that I’m attracted to Ryu Jeong-ha.
There were two attitudes I could take here. Either pretend nothing happened and treat it as a mere incident, or maintain an exciting relationship by meeting a few more times.
And what I clearly wanted now was the latter. Like a deviation, experiencing something new that I hadn’t tasted before.
I judged that it was right to approach this feeling as lightly as possible. That seemed to be the only way I could convince myself of my state of being attracted to Ryu Jeong-ha.
But being casual is one thing, it’s only possible if I can see his face. With Ryu Jeong-ha hiding so thoroughly like now, I couldn’t do anything.
Right. This is also a problem. First of all, I want to see his face. Waiting until the next liberal arts class felt too far away. There are too many problems.
[Me: I have something else to ask, so how about we meet briefly at the library later]
[Me: ?]
After a moment’s thought, I suggested meeting in person for a discussion in the liberal arts group chat.
[Choi Kyung-won: Huh? I’m at home??]
[Me: Come to school. It’s not far, right ㅋㅋ]
[Choi Kyung-won: It’s such a hassle..]
[Ji-ye♥: Oh]
[Me: We can have lunch after the meeting]
[Me: Ji-ye, where are you?]
[Ji-ye♥: I’m at school anyway…]
[Ji-ye♥: It’s fine ㅎㅎㅎㅎ]
Choi Kyung-won and Shin Ji-ye were both simple-minded, so as expected, they replied that it was fine. They were the type who preferred to meet and talk in person, even if it wasn’t for anything important.
But the main person, Ryu Jeong-ha, read the conversation but didn’t reply.
[Ryu Jeong-ha: I’m at school too, but I’m not feeling well]
[Ryu Jeong-ha: Can you just do it without me today?]
[Ji-ye♥: What? Jeong-ha oppa, are you sick??]
[Ji-ye♥: Where does it hurt ㅠㅠㅠㅜㅜㅠ]
[Ryu Jeong-ha: I think what I ate this morning didn’t sit well. My head hurts too]
Ryu Jeong-ha, who hadn’t been reading the chat all along, sent a reply after a while saying he couldn’t attend because he was sick.
I, who was chewing on the remaining ice in my cup while waiting for class at the café, immediately frowned.
If Ryu Jeong-ha can’t come, there’s no point in meeting. What was the reason I asked to meet in the first place, shit.
“Is he very sick?”
It particularly bothered me that he said he was sick, because even though he had been less vocal with his opinions than other group members, he had always participated diligently without fail when it came to meetings or researching materials.
Anyway, the conclusion was that I couldn’t see Ryu Jeong-ha today.
As soon as I accepted this reality, I lost interest in everything. If Ryu Jeong-ha isn’t coming, there’s no need for the group to meet. I unnecessarily asked to meet. Choi Kyung-won said he was getting ready to come out from home, so I can’t cancel now either.
How unwell is he? I became curious whether he was really sick or just making an excuse to avoid me.
In the end, I sent a KakaoTalk message to Ryu Jeong-ha first.
[Me: Is your stomach very bad?]
[Me: ?]
“……”
I kept the KakaoTalk window open and waited for a reply, shaking my leg in my seat. But Ryu Jeong-ha, who had replied to the group chat just a few minutes ago, didn’t check the new message I sent.
Is he in class? Or is he so sick that he doesn’t have time to reply?
[Me: Are you busy?]
[Me: ??]
It was understandable if there was no reply for a few hours or even a day at most. But for some reason, it was hard to wait when Ryu Jeong-ha wasn’t reading the KakaoTalk.
In the end, the liberal arts meeting ended half-heartedly. It seemed like Choi Kyung-won and Shin Ji-ye, who got along well, had an exciting conversation, but I could hardly remember what they said.
Having lost motivation, I cancelled the lunch appointment and headed to the pharmacy.
He said he had indigestion and a headache, right? Is it a cold? How sick is he that he still hasn’t replied?
Then he probably hasn’t eaten lunch either. I should give him some snacks along with the medicine. He’s already skinny, he’ll get even thinner if he skips meals because he’s sick.
Before I knew it, I was at the convenience store with a bag of medicine, choosing snacks.
Even though I knew I shouldn’t care more, I felt it would be better to go and check if he’s okay briefly rather than feeling uneasy all day.
Even as I finished paying and headed towards the Art College building, I couldn’t stop questioning if this was right. But there’s one thing I’ve learned. When it comes to Ryu Jeong-ha, things don’t go as I intend. So there’s no use thinking deeply about it. Whatever conclusion I come to, my decision will change once I see Ryu Jeong-ha anyway.
As I climbed heavily to the floor where the Painting Department studio was, strangely, my steps became lighter as I thought about getting closer to Ryu Jeong-ha.
And as I turned the corner, I finally saw a familiar face at the end of the hallway.
But the problem was that there wasn’t just one familiar face, but two.
“Why is Ji-ye here?”
I muttered to myself as I approached Ryu Jeong-ha and Shin Ji-ye standing face to face in the hallway. Then I could faintly hear their conversation.
“Thank you, I’ll eat it well.”
“Th-then I’ll be going now.”
“Already?”
“You look busy. You have to attend class later too. I also need to… go eat lunch.”
“…Okay, see you next time.”
This is exactly the atmosphere of the early stages of a potential romance. I quickly grasped the unexpected situation I had encountered.
I couldn’t fully understand the relationship between the two in just a few short seconds, but at least it seemed certain that Shin Ji-ye liked Ryu Jeong-ha. I had been aware that she had some degree of fondness for Ryu Jeong-ha from before.
But this expression was much faster than I had expected.
“Oh, it’s Kwon-oh oppa?”
Shin Ji-ye, who spotted me first, greeted me. I carefully observed Ryu Jeong-ha’s expression. Come to think of it, Ryu Jeong-ha was already holding a bag and a bundle of prints that were presumably given to him by Shin Ji-ye.
“What brings Ji-ye here?”
“Jeong-ha oppa said he was sick. You know the materials we discussed in our meeting today? I just came to give him those and some medicine… Ahem.”
Shin Ji-ye didn’t seem to have any intention of hiding her feelings. And it looked like Ryu Jeong-ha had already noticed it too.
Ah, I’m in the position of an unwelcome guest here. This feels fucking awful.
I clenched my teeth, remembering the bag I had put in my pocket. What feels awful is that I’ve been pushed to second place, missing the timing.
Why did I naively think there would be no competitors until now? There’s no way there wouldn’t be people hitting on Ryu Jeong-ha, who’s pretty enough to tempt even a guy like me. With that face, it’s natural for people of all genders to be swarming around him.
“Ah, anyway, see you in class later!”
Shin Ji-ye disappeared hastily with an embarrassed expression. Ryu Jeong-ha’s voice greeting her was unusually affectionate. To the point where it grated on my ears.
I hadn’t been conscious of it before, but Ryu Jeong-ha’s tone when talking to Shin Ji-ye just now was definitely different from how he speaks to others. Much more comfortable and gentle.
In a way, it’s natural. Shin Ji-ye always treated Ryu Jeong-ha kindly, so it was right for him to respond in the same way.
On the other hand, how was I?
I don’t remember clearly, but I’m certain that the way I treated Ryu Jeong-ha was far from affectionate.
Jeong-ha likes affection, huh.
I thought, suddenly realizing an obvious truth. Ah, then I’m screwed.
“Did you come to see Yu-rim? She’s not here now, but she’ll probably be back in about thirty minutes…”
“I came to see you.”
Hiding my screwed feelings, I first modulated my voice to be as gentle as possible.
