Chapter 72
“Ah, this is fucking ridiculous.”
I swear I’ve never been overwhelmed by such impulses towards someone of the same gender before.
I erased the fleeting image flashing through my mind and turned my head away.
Why am I feeling this way towards someone who stalked me? Honestly, I don’t even know how to define this feeling.
It’s not just me; Ryu Jeong-ha is definitely a frustrating guy too. He does whatever I tell him to do without even knowing my intentions. Is he naive or just stupid?
I felt irritated at Ryu Jeong-ha. It was a contradictory emotion. I was aware of it myself. That he didn’t do anything wrong. The fault lay with me for imagining such impure scenes.
Enough. If I stayed here any longer, I might end up saying things I shouldn’t.
I left Ryu Jeong-ha behind and quickly climbed the stairs, trying to rationalize my reaction. It’s because his face is a bit unique. It’s because he’s pretty for a guy.
—Kwon-oh. We’re going bowling with the members who gathered separately during our last MT. Want to come? All the girls will be there too.
The timing for a drinking session couldn’t have been better. The voice flowing from the phone as soon as I answered couldn’t have been more welcome. Thanks to it, all my muddled emotions vanished.
“I’ll come. It’s the place in the basement of the CU convenience store, right?”
—That’s right.
Yeah. I must have gone crazy for a moment because I’ve been staying away from women for too long. Thinking such thoughts about a guy with the same equipment as me, I should probably meet someone soon.
I hastily ended the liberal arts group project meeting and headed to the bowling alley. I was a bit concerned about Ryu Jeong-ha getting wet in the rain, but it wasn’t my business. I lent him clothes, so he’d probably change and go home on his own.
When I entered the bowling alley, there weren’t many bottles on the table yet, probably because the group had just gathered.
“Oh? It’s Kwon-oh!”
“Hey, what have you been up to lately that makes it so hard to see your face?”
“Leave him alone, doesn’t his department have a ton of assignments?”
“Who doesn’t have assignments? Acting all busy by yourself, you bastard.”
I took a random glass and downed it in one shot as I made my way through the group, who were throwing comments at me as if they had been waiting.
As the alcohol entered my body, the haze caused by Ryu Jeong-ha was washed away.
“Oh, that was my glass!”
Jo In-young looked surprised, alternating her gaze between the glass I was holding and my face.
Come to think of it, I didn’t even ask whose glass it was.
“Sorry. I’ll use this one and ask for a new glass for you.”
“Since I’ve already put my lips on that one, wouldn’t it be better to use a new one?”
“Who cares about lips touching it. It doesn’t matter.”
I poured more alcohol into the glass and drank it demonstratively. Jo In-young covered her mouth and laughed as she sat down next to me.
“Why are you chugging it as soon as you arrive? Did you run here?”
Park Geon-tae, who had called me, approached and greeted me. I stared at him as he sat down across the table, and suddenly put down my glass and wiggled my hand. As if telling him to come closer.
“What, why?”
Park Geon-tae looked puzzled but leaned his body slightly towards me. But as soon as his face got closer, I felt like vomiting.
Before I could even look at his lips, our eyes met, and I almost punched him. Fuck, where does this bastard think he’s putting his face?
“Ah, forget it. Get away from me.”
“What’s wrong with him all of a sudden?”
I pushed Park Geon-tae’s face away with my palm. Shit, this ruins the taste of the alcohol.
Right. This is the normal reaction. But why doesn’t Ryu Jeong-ha make me feel disgusted even when I see him up close? Even when he suggestively sucks on candy? Even when he gets his face so close to put on a band-aid?
I turned my head to look at Jo In-young’s lips, who was conscious of me. I think the shape is pretty, but it doesn’t catch my eye as much as Ryu Jeong-ha’s did today.
Even when we divided into teams and stood at our lanes to bowl.
Even when drinking.
Even when talking about the last MT that this group shared.
Strangely, it wasn’t as fun as before. It’s like my body was here, but part of my mind was elsewhere.
The bowling match, which was originally meant to be a quick game, unexpectedly became intense and went into overtime. After the last frame ended and our team’s victory was confirmed, it was only fun for a moment. I kept checking the time, wanting to go home.
“Are you waiting for a call?”
I was asked this question at one point because I kept looking at my phone so much.
And a few hours later, the gathering finally started to break up.
I was slightly drunk, but my mind was clear. It was just a light buzz that would wear off completely by the time I walked home.
The problem was Jo In-young, who had emptied her glass every time it was filled and was clearly wasted. She looked like she might stumble and fall while walking.
“In-young, get up. I’ll get you a taxi outside.”
I carefully helped Jo In-young up. Except for her, everyone else lived nearby and didn’t need a taxi, so someone had to take responsibility and send her home.
Jo In-young, unable to steady herself properly, staggered and grabbed my arm tightly.
“Kwon-oh. I feel a bit dizzy.”
“You drank a lot.”
As I supported her and went out to the main road to catch a taxi, Jo In-young leaned towards me. The distinctly feminine feeling poured over me as she openly rested her face on my shoulder and clung to my arm.
“Just wait a bit.”
I looked down at Jo In-young’s face while holding her to keep her from falling. Red lips, white skin, and a nice fragrance.
Traditionally, obvious advances should be obviously accepted. But today, I didn’t feel like playing along. Even with alcohol in my system, my heart remained unmoved and calm.
Jo In-young was clearly my preferred type. A feminine and soft impression no matter how you looked at her. But why didn’t I feel anything? It’s not like I’ve turned into a stone buddha.
Her lips, instead of that deep color, if they were lighter and smoother…
“The taxi’s here. Get home safely, In-young. If anything happens on the way, call me. Okay?”
I snapped back to reality when I spotted a taxi that had just stopped right in front of us. Just in case, I got her friend’s number before putting her in the taxi and sending her off.
As soon as I got home, I took a cold shower. Thanks to that, the alcohol completely wore off. But it couldn’t wash away this strange feeling floating inside me.
Fuck. Why did I think of him while looking at Jo In-young? Is it normal to think of a guy’s lips when there’s a woman’s lips right in front of you, Joo Kwon-oh?
I vigorously rubbed my wet hair with a towel as I came out and gulped down some cold water. Then I logged into Instagram and scrolled through the photos of my female acquaintances that appeared in the feed. Fortunately, they still looked attractive to my eyes.
After flipping through dozens of photos, I concluded that there was nothing wrong with me.
“Ha, fuck.”
But why does his face keep popping up? Damn it. Why?
What’s so pretty about the face of that foolish kid who went to the convenience store in the rain? There’s nothing about him that I should be attracted to.
“…He does have a pretty face though.”
I muttered self-deprecatingly without realizing it.
Before I knew it, I had stopped looking at the girls in my feed and was looking at Ryu Jeong-ha’s account.
How can you have only one photo showing your face on Instagram? Are you kidding me? Why even make an account if you’re going to be like this?
“Oh.”
After desperately searching through his friends’ accounts, I finally found one more group photo.
It was a sticker photo taken with his high school friends. Even then, his face looked exactly the same as now. See, how does he look like a college student? He looks just like a high schooler, I’m telling you.
After glaring at the photo for a few seconds, I received a DM on Instagram.
[Jo In-young: Kwon-oh, did you get home safely?]
It was Jo In-young.
[Me: Yeah lol you?]
[Jo In-young: Me too haha]
[Jo In-young: It was nice to see your face today]
[Jo In-young: Too bad we couldn’t hang out more ㅠㅠㅠㅠ]
[Jo In-young: You should come out more often when the guys gather~~~]
[Jo In-young: What have you been up to these days? Are you very busy?]
I lay on my bed, propping my chin up as I read the DMs.
This was the moment I should have made plans to meet separately. Then I would end up having a meal alone with Jo In-young, we’d test the waters for a while, and at some point, we’d suddenly become intimately close.
I could already envision the process. It was a procedure I had gone through several times before.
I definitely used to enjoy the thrilling moment of capturing the other person’s emotions. That’s why when a woman approached me, I fully enjoyed the stimulation the situation provided, whether they came closer or pushed me away.
But why didn’t I feel like it now? It’s not like I’ve gotten tired of dating after just one year of being a college student.
To think I’m refusing even a potential romance with a woman because of thoughts about that otaku-like stalker. I could just do whatever I feel like, but I don’t feel like it.
“Ha.”
I turned off Instagram and messed up my hair.
Why does he keep coming to mind, all drenched in the rain like that?
Is it because I simply feel sorry for him that I keep thinking about him? Or have I developed some special feelings for him?
Suddenly, one assumption struck my consciousness. Come to think of it, I’ve never met a guy who gave off a little brother vibe before, so maybe that’s why I’m confused.
If he’s like a younger brother, it’s natural to be a bit concerned and want to take care of him.
Ryu Jeong-ha certainly does look naive and easily flustered.
Yeah. I’m just confused right now. I’ve seen plenty of guys’ faces, but most of them were jerks with shitty personalities. But he’s the first guy who says cheesy things like the mole behind his ear is cute like a star, or that clothes suit him well. Honestly, it’s interesting, right?
It’s understandable to feel a bit different about him than other guys, isn’t it?
If I meet him a few times and get used to it, I think I could shake off this uneasiness.
“Hmm.”
Then should we just have a meal together? That’s the most casual way to get used to someone.
Fuck. I guess it’s not even a little brother feeling.
I realized that all my cowardly self-rationalizations had failed miserably.
[Joo Kwon-oh: I have something I want to ask]
[Joo Kwon-oh: Have you ever kissed a guy?]
From the moment I sent such a KakaoTalk message to Ryu Jeong-ha.
To think I’m asking such a question at a restaurant in front of the school where Korea University students are swarming.
