Chapter 32
‘I like pasta. It’s simple to make too. I’ll make it for you next time you come over.’
I couldn’t help but smile as I remembered his confident voice that seemed to still echo in my ears.
“Jeong-ha. You must think it’s funny too. This bastard chops and boils stews like a pro chef. But he freaks out asking why you put butter in pasta. Hahaha!”
Joo Kwon-oh muttered “Damn” under his breath as he rubbed his flushed cheeks. Then he leaned towards me and added quietly,
“I’ll practice and make it for you, so don’t cancel coming over to my place.”
“…”
“Just look forward to it.”
“Okay.”
I answered with a smile. Hearing my clear laughter, Joo Kwon-oh laughed along as if in disbelief.
My sinking mood suddenly resurfaced with Choi Kyung-won’s few words. I knew I shouldn’t, but Joo Kwon-oh seemed especially cute today.
There were still some unresolved ambiguities, but I decided not to think too deeply about them in this setting. Even if Joo Kwon-oh liked someone, and even if that person wasn’t me… it was sad but not particularly surprising.
My mood was like a roller coaster. How could it plummet to the bottom and then soar to the sky like this? I felt a bit confused experiencing such intense emotional changes, I’d lost count of how many.
After that, various topics naturally flowed, such as school life, how the atmosphere differed between departments, employment, and future careers.
I was mostly listening, but Joo Kwon-oh, Choi Kyung-won, and Shin Ji-ye would ask me questions every now and then, so I was consistently included in the conversation.
While it was boisterous as expected of a drinking gathering, it maintained a wholesome atmosphere without any crude swearing or unwanted lewd talk. Thanks to this, unlike my usual shy self, I seemed to enjoy this gathering in my own way today.
Above all, I was glad to hear various new pieces of information about Joo Kwon-oh.
“Oh? Hey, Yu-jung’s here.”
When the atmosphere had completely loosened up, one of the Business Administration students pointed towards the entrance and whispered.
Everyone at our table turned their attention to the person who had just entered the bar.
Where the student had pointed, there stood a woman with long, wavy light brown hair. She had a round, fair face and was wearing a feminine dress.
The woman, Seo Yu-jung, naturally walked towards our table as soon as she spotted us.
“You came later than expected?”
Choi Kyung-won said knowingly, gesturing towards Joo Kwon-oh.
“I stopped by home on the way. Have you all drunk a lot?”
“Just moderately. Ah, Yu-jung. Sit here.”
One of the classmates suddenly stood up and offered Yu-jung the seat next to Joo Kwon-oh. There was a natural atmosphere of everyone making room for the two to sit side by side.
My mood, which had been on a roller coaster, plummeted sharply to the bottom, in stark contrast to how elated it had been just moments ago.
I felt Joo Kwon-oh glancing at me a few times, as if he was concerned about me, but as soon as Seo Yu-jung spoke to him, he turned his head towards her.
The sight of the two talking matched almost exactly with the scene I had imagined. Joo Kwon-oh kindly answered Seo Yu-jung’s questions, and within a few exchanges, he was smiling brightly.
And Choi Kyung-won, who had wanted to set them up, was contentedly grinning while eating some side dishes.
As expected, I was very easily sidelined. Even this was exactly as I had imagined.
Suddenly, the taste of alcohol became very unpleasant.
“I’m going to the restroom for a bit.”
It felt like there was no reason for me to be here anymore.
“The restroom is over there.”
Sung-rok sunbae, not missing my quiet voice, pointed towards the outside.
“Your name was Ryu Jeong-ha, right? You’re not too drunk, are you? Let us know if you’re not feeling well.”
He added kindly. I bowed my head in gratitude as I pulled out my chair and stood up. I could feel Joo Kwon-oh, who had been talking with Seo Yu-jung, turning to look at me.
“I’ll go to the restroom too, then.”
I didn’t expect him to get up as well. I quickened my pace at the sound of Joo Kwon-oh’s voice behind me.
I was planning to go outside, have a smoke, and then make up an excuse about a sudden matter coming up and leave. There was no point in going back in, I’d only see scenes I didn’t want to see. I didn’t particularly want to witness with my own eyes Joo Kwon-oh getting along well with another woman. I also disliked the atmosphere of everyone trying to set them up as if it were only natural.
“Are you leaving?”
Joo Kwon-oh, who had been following me, asked. He’s quite perceptive, I hadn’t even said I was leaving yet.
“Ah, yes.”
I answered honestly.
“Then I’ll leave too.”
“…Why you?”
“I was planning to leave soon anyway.”
I wanted to ask Joo Kwon-oh, “Why are you saying that? It’s confusing.”
Actually, more than asking, I wanted to confront him. He said he had someone he liked. Yet he keeps making me think it’s me, but when I try to get closer, he always has someone else around him.
It was hard not knowing what Joo Kwon-oh was thinking. It was painful not knowing what feelings he had for me.
“I’ll walk you home.”
“No, I can go alone.”
“Jeong-ha.”
I also wanted to ask why he no longer calls me “Ryu Jeong-ha.” Why he calls me by my first name in such an affectionate voice.
Perhaps Joo Kwon-oh is the type to act quite friendly with someone he’s slept with. Even if that person is a man.
“…Don’t you want to go back in?”
“I wanted to get some fresh air too.”
At Joo Kwon-oh’s firm answer, I didn’t insist that he go back in.
My home is about a twenty-minute walk from here. It’s not a far distance.
I started walking slowly, forgetting that I had originally planned to smoke. He walked alongside me.
What about that girl? She came to see you. These words lingered on the tip of my tongue. Just as I was about to bite my lower lip unconsciously again, Joo Kwon-oh spoke.
“I’m saying this so you don’t misunderstand, but there’s nothing between me and Seo Yu-jung.”
“…Really?”
“Really.”
Joo Kwon-oh thankfully brought it up first, as if he had read my mind.
“I don’t lie.”
Joo Kwon-oh added. I had been walking silently, but I retorted a beat late.
“But why did you lie about being good at pasta…”
“Ah, that.”
Before I could finish speaking, Joo Kwon-oh hurriedly cut me off.
“Choi Kyung-won, that crazy bastard. Making a fuss with unnecessary words.”
He shook his head irritably and sighed. Then he turned towards me and suddenly flashed a brazen smile.
“I’ll practice. Then I’ll be good at it, right?”
His attitude, as if he had never been embarrassed, was so typical of Joo Kwon-oh that I burst out laughing. I don’t understand this logic.
Hearing my laughter, Joo Kwon-oh gazed at me intently.
“…Come over to my place and eat it then.”
“Okay.”
It was a night where I wanted to update my notebook after a long time. There was a lot of new information. Among them, the point to particularly note was that Joo Kwon-oh is good at Korean cooking. But in contrast, he’s terrible at Western cuisine.
Anyway, just with those few words he uttered, the unpleasant feelings I had from the drinking gathering melted away like snow.
It’s strange how my mood changes from moment to moment. Surely, a part of my brain must have gone weird from liking Joo Kwon-oh.
“But I’m not sure if it’s okay for both of us to slip away like this.”
I belatedly worried if people might be looking for us.
“They’ll have fun without us just fine.”
“That’s good then.”
I didn’t bother to point out that Seo Yu-jung, who had come to see Joo Kwon-oh, would have definitely noticed the empty seats.
“Is this it?”
When I stopped in front of a one-room apartment complex, Joo Kwon-oh looked up at the building and spoke.
“Yes.”
“So you live here. It’s close to school.”
“Yeah.”
I wanted to talk with him a bit more, but not knowing what topic to bring up to keep him, I just fidgeted with my hands. At times like this, I felt pathetic for lacking conversational skills.
“Go in.”
“Thanks for walking me back.”
Joo Kwon-oh took his hands out of his pockets and waved. As I was about to enter the building, I managed to think of one question.
“Are you… going back there?”
“The after-party? Why? Should we go back?”
Joo Kwon-oh tilted his head and asked as if pondering, with a mischievous look on his face.
I timidly shook my head. Joo Kwon-oh grinned.
“I won’t go. Give me your number instead.”
“Huh?”
“We don’t have each other’s phone numbers yet.”
“Oh.”
Joo Kwon-oh held out his phone. I took it and entered my number.
“You’re really not going back?”
“No.”
Joo Kwon-oh immediately called to check if my phone rang, then hung up. He then gestured with his chin as if to say go in quickly.
“Ah, if Choi Kyung-won contacts you, just ignore him.”
“How can I do that?”
“Or tell him you went home early because you weren’t feeling well.”
“Okay.”
“Sleep well.”
“…You too.”
With that farewell, I entered the one-room apartment. When I turned on the lights and glanced out the window, I could see Joo Kwon-oh leaving the alley.
Even his back view, walking away under the streetlight, looked impressive.
