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“Then I’ll get up first.”
Having said everything he needed to say, Choi Eunseong quickly rose from his seat. He didn’t want to stay any longer, fearing his discomfort would only grow. There was also no guarantee he wouldn’t fall for Han Jaekyung’s sweet talk again.
As he burst out of the café door like he was fleeing and hurriedly tried to catch a taxi, he heard the sound of urgent footsteps following quickly behind him. His wrist was seized in an instant.
“No, I can’t let you go like this. Let’s talk a bit more—!”
Where had Han Jaekyung’s usual elegant and refined demeanor gone? He roughly turned Eunseong around and shouted almost as if he were screaming. Passersby pretended not to notice but glanced at Eunseong and Jaekyung. Their gazes were clearly filled with poorly concealed interest.
“What more is there to talk about, and how, here?”
Eunseong forcefully shook off Jaekyung’s hand, which seemed desperate. The reason he had wanted to meet outside in the first place was solely to deliver an ultimatum to Jaekyung. Not to listen to his unfinished excuses or pathetic pleading.
Even objectively speaking, he had shown as much understanding as humanly possible. Eunseong truly believed that. If not for the scrutinizing gazes of the Chairman and Madam Yu who occasionally looked at him as if evaluating him, he would have grabbed Jaekyung by the collar several times already. Jaekyung’s behavior had clearly been more than just playing along with the memory-less Yeonhu.
“I’m sorry. Really… I know I’m doing something unforgivable to you, but I…”
I still love Yeonhu. I can’t live without him. His voice, thick with tears, grew softer towards the end. His trembling eyelashes and unusually pale face held a power that would make anyone feel sympathy just by looking at him once, but it didn’t work on Eunseong.
Rather, Eunseong was dumbfounded by Jaekyung’s audacity to try to steal Yeonhu after already having everything else he could want. What was this pathetic victim act? Who was the one who had been deceiving people with a few words and constantly looking for opportunities? Eunseong’s voice was filled with increasing anger.
“So what if you’re sorry? Do you think I’m the kind of person who has to accept it with a ‘yes, I understand’ just because you apologize?”
“No, that’s not what I meant—”
“If not that, then what? You won’t leave Yeonhu hyung’s side. You’re saying that even if his memory returns, you still want to be by his side.”
“Ugh…”
“If I didn’t know about the two of you, it might be different, but now it’s impossible. Absolutely impossible. And you say you still love Yeonhu hyung. Try to put yourself in my shoes. Is that, is that something that can be accepted?”
Jaekyung couldn’t offer any rebuttal and just kept chewing on his lips. He’d said it wasn’t like that, that he wanted to talk more. But in the end, that was exactly what he meant. Eunseong turned away decisively. He didn’t even want to exchange words anymore. If he couldn’t catch a taxi right away, he felt like sprinting as far away from Jaekyung as possible. It was then that Jaekyung grabbed Eunseong by the collar again with an absurd statement.
“…You said you needed a job, Choi Eunseong.”
“What? What did you say?”
“Money or a job, tell me anything you need. I’ll, I’ll do everything for you. I’ll find a way, so please—”
“Hey, Attorney Han!!”
Eunseong had to doubt his ears for a moment. Did he hear correctly? What nonsense was Jaekyung…!
“Give him to me, I… I need Jang Yeonhu so much. What should I do? How can you give him to me?”
His voice, whispering desperately, was urgent, and his expression was ethereal as if he might shatter at any moment.
“You’ve only had him for a few months at most, but I’ve spent almost a lifetime by his side. So give him to me. Please, I’ll do anything I can. Please.”
Eventually, sobbing crept into his urgent breathing. Like a lost child, Jaekyung begged breathlessly. He clutched Eunseong’s clothes desperately with an expression so pitiful it could make anyone’s heart ache.
One man in proper attire sobbing and pleading while facing another who firmly rejected him—it wasn’t a common sight, and the gazes of passersby lingered longer and longer on them. Eunseong felt as if all the insignificant conversations brushing past his ears were criticisms directed at him for coldly rejecting the other’s plea. It was too much. Really, he couldn’t stand to face Jaekyung for even one more second.
Besides, as long as Jaekyung and Eunseong desired the same person, there was no room for compromise or concession.
“No. No matter what you do, I can’t give him to you. I don’t want to. You’re right that it’s only been a few months… But that doesn’t mean my feelings aren’t deep. I also, I also love Yeonhu hyung. Jang Yeonhu is just as necessary to me as he is to you.”
“C-Choi Eunseong. I’m begging you like this.”
Jaekyung looked like he was about to kneel right in the middle of the street. Compared to their first meeting when he was so arrogant that he could order Yeonhu around with just the tip of his finger, he might as well have been a completely different person. Before Jaekyung’s waist could fully bow, Eunseong stepped back several paces. As a result, Jaekyung, who suddenly lost what he was holding onto, wobbled precariously.
“I’ve been saying it all along. Just stay quietly by the eighteen-year-old Yeonhu’s side and then break up. That’s the limit of what I can concede.”
“…”
“I hope you prepare yourself mentally to break up anytime. Don’t follow me anymore. I’ll also ‘beg’ you like this. Understand?”
Eunseong deliberately emphasized the word “beg” that had been particularly grating to his ears. Had everyone always granted his requests unconditionally? Absurdly, Jaekyung seemed to harbor a sort of indignation toward Eunseong for firmly rejecting his plea instead of immediately accepting it.
Eunseong was unbearably anxious that this series of terrible events, which were nothing short of a dreadful disaster for him, might be reduced to a mere trifling incident to be consumed for the reunion of Jaekyung and Yeonhu.
He turned around and walked with large strides, almost running. Although he had spoken quite sharply… in reality, Eunseong wasn’t confident. In the current state, it didn’t seem like Yeonhu would choose Eunseong over Jaekyung even if he learned the truth. Even if his memory returned.
Moreover, it was definitely news that would shock Yeonhu. He also didn’t want to fall out of favor with Yeonhu’s family by revealing it with his own mouth.
He didn’t know how long he walked like that. After walking until his feet hurt, he looked around and found himself in an unfamiliar place. Eunseong immediately caught a taxi and headed home for the first time in a while.
The atmosphere of the neighborhood seen from the taxi heading home was bleak. His eyes must have become accustomed to the streets where Yeonhu’s main house was, with its endless string of magnificent mansions. Old apartment buildings that had easily surpassed ten years since construction were clustered together tightly, and the two-lane road cutting through them was equally narrow.
The funny thing was that even those shabby-looking old apartments were far beyond what Eunseong and his grandmother could afford. With about three or four months left until the end of their lease, if the landlord wanted to raise the deposit for the next contract, they would have to find another place. Thinking about how much further from the center they would have to go to find a decent place made his chest feel tight.
“Driver, I’ll just get off here.”
“Here? It’s uphill, so it’ll be hard. Why don’t you go a bit further?”
“No, it’s fine. Please stop.”
“Alright. The fare is—”
Just thinking about home made even sitting comfortably in the taxi feel like sitting on pins and needles. It was clear that his sense of reality had been dulled while staying at Yeonhu’s house. Originally, Eunseong would always walk distances of six or seven bus stops, considering not just taxi fares but even bus fares too expensive.
As he climbed the steep stairs leading to the apartment, the earlier quarrel about concessions and love all felt like complaints from someone with a full stomach. Strangely, he was out of breath on the stairs he used to climb up and down without even opening his eyes. Comfort quickly makes humans lazy. Swallowing his breath that rose up to his chin as if his lungs would tear, Eunseong recalled the image of Jaekyung sobbing in front of him over and over.
The high-quality navy suit, the silver watch on his wrist—the total value of what he was wearing today would easily exceed Eunseong’s living expenses for half a year.
So, at the very least… Jaekyung would still be grieving elegantly as he looked, without these shabby worries stained with the realities of daily life.
‘…You said you needed a job, Choi Eunseong. Money or a job, tell me anything you need.’
He deserved to hear such words. Choi Eunseong, who had nothing, was therefore a person who wouldn’t find it strange to hear such things from Jaekyung a hundred or even a thousand times. He was just a person worth only that much.
Eunseong gritted his teeth and held back the surge of distress. His jaw ached from clenching his teeth too hard, but it was better than bursting into undignified tears.
Fortunately, no one was home when he arrived. Being a weekday afternoon, his grandmother seemed to have gone to the senior center. Every corner of the house, which had always been comfortable and cozy, looked particularly shabby and suffocatingly cramped today. At the same time, he hated himself for having such thoughts. But he couldn’t help it. Eunseong had nowhere else to go.
After sitting blankly for a long time, Eunseong eventually pulled himself together and got up again. His grandmother would be back soon, and he couldn’t show her this state. She only knew that Eunseong was participating in a camp-style external activity as part of his job preparation. It would be good to have dinner with her, saying he had gotten some free time, before going back.
With that intention, he first took a light shower and opened the drawer to change clothes, when he felt something hard underneath the clothes. It was something he had put in the deepest part of the drawer, thinking his grandmother shouldn’t see it. When he had hurriedly packed clothes while frantically moving into Yeonhu’s house, it seemed to have come up to the top like this.
Eunseong frantically unwrapped the black T-shirt that was bundled around the object. Inside was a picture frame with a photo of him and Yeonhu.
It was a selfie he had barely managed to take after begging and pleading with Yeonhu, who didn’t particularly like taking photos. He had printed two copies without permission, put them in frames, keeping one for himself and placing the other in Yeonhu’s bedroom…
“With this…”
Suddenly, a thought flashed through his mind. It was almost like a revelation.
If he directly revealed the truth himself, he would not escape criticism from Yeonhu and his family, but if, just if… Yeonhu were to realize the truth ‘by chance’… wouldn’t that be truly unavoidable?
Eunseong wrapped the picture frame in clothes again and hid it deep in the drawer. His heart was beating fiercely.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
