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The moving preparations proceeded relatively smoothly despite being an impulsive decision made without thinking of the consequences. Perhaps it was because there wasn’t much stuff to pack to begin with. Coincidentally, there was an employee going overseas for training soon, so a vacancy would become available in the residence provided as company housing.
After a late morning of suffering particularly from a hangover, Han Jaekyung delivered his intention to no longer come to work to Woojin Group’s legal team, practically as a notification. Once he lost the desire to return there, all his worries and thoughts became incredibly simple, flattened out. It was lighter and simpler than expected, even pleasant in a way. The legal team manager, who only knew that Jaekyung was Yeonhu’s closest associate but didn’t yet know their relationship had soured, bowed excessively and gave him a warm farewell, saying he’d worked hard and they should have a meal together sometime.
Jaekyung decided quite impulsively to leave behind everything Yeonhu had bought for him. But the strange thing was, even though it was a home he’d lived in for nearly ten years since his undergraduate days, excluding the time for his American training, when he removed all the things Yeonhu had bought, the luggage he had to take amounted to only one carry-on suitcase.
The interior designed to match his picky tastes and all the equipped appliances had been brought in by Yeonhu as independence gifts.
The clothes, bags, and watches filling the dressing room had also been gifts from Yeonhu, who hired personal shoppers every season change.
What Jaekyung had bought himself was at most a few cans of beer in the refrigerator, a briefcase and watch purchased during his American training period, and one fluffy cushion he’d impulsively picked up while walking. Even the officetel he’d considered his own and lived in, and the car he drove, were strictly speaking under Yeonhu’s name…
In other words, the belongings Jaekyung truly owned amounted to only about half of what could fit in a carry-on suitcase.
Thanks to this—or perhaps because of it—while his bank account balance was substantial since his income had steadily accumulated without being spent, Jaekyung suddenly felt like he was no different from the penniless student he’d been in his school uniform. It was a truly belated realization.
All the financial support that Yeonhu benevolently provided had been so natural to Jaekyung until now. For him, there had been no need to distinguish between what was Yeonhu’s and what was his own. It was fine to have nothing. Even without the excuse of being the youngest partner at a major law firm, the economic convenience and near-luxurious goods that Jaekyung currently enjoyed would have been no different. After all, what was Yeonhu’s was his.
Nevertheless, the reason Jaekyung had gritted his teeth and studied, rubbing his sleepy eyes raw and even pressing ballpoint pen tips into the back of his hand until it bled, to get a decent job was because he wanted to be able to stand proudly beside Yeonhu… He wanted to be recognized not as simply the young master’s pretty toy or just some appendage of Yeonhu’s, but as an independent entity, as one human being.
When he held his lawyer’s license, when he printed business cards from a major law firm that would make anyone exclaim in admiration, Jaekyung had easily convinced himself that he’d reached such a goal. But it had all been a mirage-like delusion.
As he organized to leave the home where he’d lived and grown attached for so long, Jaekyung realized this fact clearly.
“Huh…”
He thoroughly searched even the guest room that had been used almost like Yeonhu’s room, looking for anything more to take, but all that came out was a graduation album that had been shoved into the very corner of the bookshelf.
Letting out an unconscious sigh, Jaekyung opened the dusty album. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d opened this. Since it was a time when the happiest and most miserable moments of his life were chaotically mixed together, Jaekyung didn’t particularly enjoy reminiscing about his school days, especially high school.
“Hmm… Which class was I in… I’m sure it was one of the earlier numbered classes.”
He flipped through the pages while recalling hazy memories. Jaekyung found his young face in the section for 3rd year, Class 2. His sullen expression, as if something was bothering him, stood out prominently in the group photo. Perhaps it was even more so due to the contrast with Jang Yeonhu, who was grinning brightly with his arm around Jaekyung’s shoulder.
“This bastard really hasn’t changed annoyingly at all.”
Neither have I… At the end of his irritated tone, inexplicable complexity rustled like crumbs. The group photos from elementary or middle school graduation albums, wherever they might be, would probably look remarkably similar to this mess. He vaguely remembered that. Jaekyung flipped a few more pages and glared hatefully at Yeonhu’s individual photo where he appeared like a proper model student, then immediately slammed the cover shut with obviously annoyed hands. Looking at it more would only make him angrier. Thinking that it would now be Choi Eunseong, not himself, standing beside that brightly smiling figure made his stomach churn.
He was cleaning up the dust that had fallen from the bookshelf with a vacuum cleaner that Yeonhu had also paid for. Ding-dong, a cheerful doorbell chimed. If it had been Yeonhu, he would have naturally entered the passcode and walked in like it was his own home (or rather, in this case it would be accurate to say it was his home), so it was obviously someone else. Jaekyung, who couldn’t guess who the visitor might be, left the vacuum cleaner running where it was and checked outside through the intercom.
Even when asked “Who is it?” the uninvited guest didn’t answer. Only some chicken bag was dangling and swaying on the camera. Seeing the garish franchise logo with its comical chicken character seemed to ease his crumpled mood a bit.
“What? You said you couldn’t come today.”
The identity of the mysterious visitor was Moon Yeonu. Four days since getting drunk at the meat restaurant, Moon Yeonu had been meeting with Jaekyung every other day. The format of their meetings was all one-sided appointments and one-sided visits from the other party, but Jaekyung didn’t particularly refuse either. When he was alone, he’d just end up boiling inside waiting for contact from Yeonhu that wouldn’t come anyway, so it was better to be with someone. But today he’d said he had a schedule and couldn’t make time, and to come out tomorrow if he was free…
“The seminar ended early. Do you have cola?”
“Only beer.”
“Mm, can’t help it. I’ll have to drink and sleep over.”
“Stop talking nonsense and just come in.”
The warm, savory oil smell seemed to make his empty stomach cheer. Only then did Jaekyung realize that he hadn’t eaten a single meal since waking up, that he was quite hungry.
Yesterday he’d briefly come in for just coffee when dropping him off, so it wasn’t his first time here, but Moon Yeonu widened his eyes and looked around the state of the house. It was probably because clothes and various items were scattered around as if thieves had broken in.
“Why is your house so messy today?”
“I packed. Just sit over there.”
Even Jaekyung, who always wrapped himself in shamelessness like it was his natural disposition, felt a bit awkward in front of Yeonu’s innocent question and just gestured toward the table while casually kicking aside the items filling the floor. Though even that table was completely packed with mugs, wine glasses, and all sorts of cutlery without any empty space.
“So you really are moving into company housing…”
“Of course it’s real.”
“But instead of this, you should just call a moving company. How are you planning to handle all this stuff by yourself?”
“It’s fine since there’s not much to take.”
“Not much to take? You can say that looking at this mess?”
Faced with Yeonu’s question, Jaekyung briefly considered what to answer. Even though he’d made the house this chaotic by searching every corner, what he had to pack was only about one paper box, he was leaving behind everything Yeonhu had bought, this house was also under Yeonhu’s name, and so on… Just thinking about it was pathetic and tiring. In the end, the answer he came up with was just three syllables.
“Mind your business.”
Fortunately, Moon Yeonu, already immune to Jaekyung’s way of speaking, didn’t mind much and just clicked his tongue once before roughly clearing the table and unpacking the chicken bag he’d brought.
“Got it. Hurry up and bring beer and plates.”
The awkwardness from their first reunion had completely disappeared for both of them. Now that even Yeonhu had been scooped out and disappeared from Jaekyung’s pitifully meager human relationships, Moon Yeonu was the most intimate person to Jaekyung privately. Despite being an ex-boyfriend who’d disappeared ten years ago.
Yeonu seemed to be hungry too, as both of them stopped talking as if by agreement and focused on eating chicken. Pouring greasy food and alcohol into an empty stomach naturally meant his stomach wouldn’t be fine. Jaekyung’s stomach genuinely hurt physically, not as a psychological metaphor, but he didn’t show it and just gnawed on chicken legs.
No matter how close Moon Yeonu had become, by Jaekyung’s standards he wasn’t yet at the level where he could show his pain. …If it had been Yeonhu, he would have called first to check if he’d eaten and brought porridge made by the family’s cook. Such thoughts flashed through his mind for a moment. Fucking bastard. Jaekyung gritted his teeth and attacked the chicken even more aggressively.
“Hey.”
“What.”
“But… why do you suddenly want to move? You’ve lived here for a long time. The location isn’t bad either.”
“Just. I thought I’d work hard at the company while getting promoted. Company housing is much more convenient for commuting too.”
“Ah. Well, thinking about commuting, that’s definitely true.”
Moon Yeonu, who spent time together using light conversation as a side dish, asked if he should help pack when they were finishing their meal. Jaekyung desperately shook his head internally. He didn’t want to show his meager pile of belongings after living for ten years.
“It’s fine. I’ll handle it myself, so just go.”
“I have plenty of time tomorrow. Can’t drive after drinking beer either.”
“What’s a designated driver for? Or take a taxi. Don’t be annoying and just go quietly.”
He’d come down to the underground parking garage together, intending to see him off for once. Moon Yeonu deliberately dawdled until Jaekyung showed his usual prickliness.
“Han Jaekyung, do you really have no words you can say other than ‘annoying,’ ‘stop being a pain,’ and stuff like that? You’re even a lawyer?”
“Stop being a pain… Ah, damn.”
Jaekyung, who’d blurted out exactly that habit Yeonu had mocked, felt irritation rise and bit the tip of his tongue hard. Pfft, puhaha, haha… The loud laughter echoing through the underground parking garage made his head ring. Moon Yeonu was now laughing so hard he had tears hanging from his eyes. Jaekyung just swallowed a sigh and covered his face with his dry palm. Moon Yeonu was continuously bursting into laughter when suddenly, screech, some sedan came rushing right in front of the two of them with an unpleasant sound.
“What’s so funny? Let me laugh along too.”
What appeared with a light tone that was even refreshing was… Jang Yeonhu, who hadn’t contacted him once for several days after kicking Jaekyung out like that. Yeonhu, dressed neatly in a dark gray suit with a navy tie, looked exactly like he’d just stepped out of the graduation photo he’d seen earlier.
Jaekyung unconsciously flinched and stepped back. In a very natural sequence, he became one step closer to Moon Yeonu. Yeonhu’s eyes, quietly looking down at that sight, narrowed very slightly.
“Jaekyung.”
A voice calling him softly as if nothing had happened. Jaekyung felt defiance surge up for a moment and suddenly linked arms with Moon Yeonu, trying to ignore Yeonhu and pass by.
Yeonhu wouldn’t just let that sight go. The hand gripping his slender forearm was particularly rough, as if he couldn’t control his strength properly.
He almost cried out, but Jaekyung barely swallowed the sound. He absolutely didn’t want to show weakness in front of the current Yeonhu.
“Let’s talk.”
“Let go of this.”
“If I let go, you’ll leave.”
“Why? You told me not to think about seeing your face until I apologize to your boyfriend. What wind is blowing that you want to talk?”
“Han Jaekyung.”
“I have nothing to say to you. Let go.”
Jaekyung roughly shook off Yeonhu’s hand even though he knew it was meaningless. It was around then that Moon Yeonu, who had been observing the situation, intervened between the two.
“Hey, even if you’re close friends, isn’t that too much? You shouldn’t handle someone else’s boyfriend so roughly.”
He smoothly intervened and tapped Yeonhu’s knuckles with just his fingertips. Yeonhu, who let out a hollow laugh as if incredulous, released the strength from his hand for now.
“I don’t know what you have to say to my boyfriend, but it doesn’t look very good. I’m too anxious to leave my boyfriend alone and go.”
“…Han Jaekyung, look at me.”
“How about stopping here and just leaving before you see something even more unpleasant?”
“Jaekyung, won’t you really talk to me?”
The person speaking was Moon Yeonu, but Yeonhu acted as if his voice couldn’t even be heard, fixing his gaze only on Jaekyung and opening his mouth only toward him. As if he was holding a grudge.
“Between you and me, is there really anything more to talk about?”
Jaekyung spun around sharply and spoke as if shouting. It was true that he’d done something wrong as a friend. It was also true that he’d done something to feel sorry about toward Choi Eunseong.
But to put it bluntly, the relationship between Jaekyung and Yeonhu over the past years wasn’t one that could be entirely lumped together under the single word “friends.”
Even if they were two people who couldn’t become lovers due to Jaekyung’s one-sided rejection… Even if the responsibility for that was entirely Jaekyung’s.
No one could deny even that fact. Not even Yeonhu himself.
So while Jaekyung felt sorry toward Eunseong, he didn’t feel sorry toward Yeonhu. Even without the title of lovers, Yeonhu was something unique and irreplaceable to Jaekyung. Yeonhu would know that well too.
Knowing all of that, and knowing that Jaekyung’s dried-up human relationships consisted entirely of just his uncle, Yeonhu, and Yeonhu’s family, Yeonhu had threatened that if he didn’t apologize to his boyfriend, they wouldn’t see each other anymore. Though he didn’t hold a knife, it was almost like a threat to Jaekyung.
Even giving him the benefit of the doubt a hundred times over, let’s say he could act that way momentarily because he was too upset, too angry. But for several days since then, Yeonhu hadn’t sent even one of the petty messages he used to leave regularly for Jaekyung. How that series of events would be received by Jaekyung needed no explanation.
“Let’s go in, Yeonu. You’re sleeping over, right?”
Jaekyung completely turned his back on Yeonhu and looked at Moon Yeonu with a gentle eye smile. Moon Yeonu, who was quite perceptive, tenderly wrapped his arm around Jaekyung’s shoulder and played along, saying “of course.” Jaekyung hoped that because of his behavior, Yeonhu’s insides would twist and his heart would ache. Just like how his own insides had rotted and festered during the past few days while he endured without showing it.
“Ha… So that’s how you’re going to play it.”
Yeonhu, who watched Jaekyung and Moon Yeonu go back the way they came, stood there for quite a while for some reason before starting the engine and roughly driving off. The midnight parking garage. Only black skid marks remained alone in the place where all three people had left.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
