#055
“…What?”
Yeonwoo, who was putting clothes into a paper bag, asked again.
“No, I misspoke. Just ignore what I just said.”
Damn, I was trying to approach slowly. The words that slipped out carelessly ruined all my plans.
I keep finding hope in Yeonwoo’s actions that probably meant nothing. It gradually eats away at my brain, clouding rational judgment.
I noticed Yeonwoo had stopped moving and was lost in thought, looking dazed.
I’m screwed. I’m screwed. I’m screwed.
That was the only word that came to mind.
“…I’ll go to my room, to my room, so… good night.”
“Fuck.”
Kang Dojun’s body, which had awkwardly gotten up to escape the situation, froze like ice.
The clear, brief curse that reached his ears made him unable to move forward or back.
Does he hate homosexuality?
Looking closer, his expression had also hardened a bit.
Even in this situation, the worry “Would he hate me then?” came first. This was really serious. Lee Yeonwoo had already become an important person in his life.
And despair washed over him. Seeing how much he hated it enough to curse, this relationship would all be over now, and Yeonwoo would go back to the countryside.
One moment’s judgment had ruined everything. He wanted to turn back time. Then he would never ask such a trashy question and would hide his feelings for life…
“Fuck, I guess so.”
……Huh?
“I guess I like hyung.”
“You like me?”
Yeonwoo could easily grasp that the meaning of “like” in the question went beyond simple fondness.
And he had long known that Kang Dojun wasn’t someone who spoke thoughtlessly.
Yeonwoo quickly turned his mind.
Why did he think that way, for what reason did he say it, how had I treated him, he thoroughly reflected on and thought about all the actions he had taken toward him until now.
He chewed it over and over again.
From their first meeting until now, even bringing up the five W’s and one H that he learned in Korean class as a child but could barely remember now, he continued to ponder and judge.
Then he brought out his most recent memory.
Dojun hyung bought T-shirts. For me. I felt good. They were couple T-shirts. I felt like a balloon about to burst and fly away. It turned out to be couple T-shirts for three people. The balloon deflated.
Do I like matching T-shirts with just the two of us? If so, he imagined matching T-shirts with Shin Gihyeon.
Just… just that. Even though Shin Gihyeon was already someone within his circle, it was neither good nor bad. Then what about hyung? I was happy. I was jumping around with joy just moments ago.
There’s an even simpler way to know.
Imagining kissing Shin Gihyeon…
“Fuck.”
When he imagined it with hyung as the subject, it seemed doable. It seemed like it might be pretty good.
‘What is this?’
I liked men? It’s a problem I’ve never thought about.
Still… he glanced at him. He was awkwardly stuck, unable to stand or sit. If it’s hyung, wouldn’t it be possible?
After thinking and pondering for a long time, he reached a conclusion. It was the one irrefutable conclusion.
“Fuck, I guess so.”
Now that he thought about it, there were many, many points he could have noticed.
While not caring about other people’s contacts, he was particularly concerned about Kang Dojun’s messages and stared at his phone all day wondering when a reply would come.
Kim Haseon, Shin Gihyeon, Jaihan were all friends he was happy to see after a long time. Did I hug them because I was happy to see them? I never did once.
I often hug the elderly in the countryside, but it was ambiguous to classify Kang Dojun in that category. They were almost like parent and child.
I don’t feel parental affection toward Kang Dojun.
When he does something for me, it’s good, special, joyful, exciting.
My emotions had already given countless hints.
I was an idiot for realizing it so late.
“I guess I like hyung.”
Yeonwoo stared intently at Kang Dojun. Having said everything he needed to say, he was waiting for his answer.
The one who had been frozen like ice melted and sat back down in proper posture.
He frowned and moved his lips. He seemed about to say something but it went back into his mouth.
Yeonwoo, who didn’t have the patience to wait, moved closer to him.
“Hyung.”
“Uh… yeah.”
“I like you, hyung. What about you? Do you like me?”
It was a perfect shot.
Kang Dojun felt like his face would explode from the heat. Even the action of coming closer to hear his answer was cute.
The stubbornly pressed red lips were also pretty.
Pretty.
Pretty.
Pretty.
There wasn’t an unpretty corner. A shadow fell across Yeonwoo’s face.
Sweet.
Kang Dojun quickly touched lips as if stealing them, then hurriedly pulled away.
It was soft and hot. The warmth seemed to still remain.
‘This should be enough of an answer, right?’
He blushed and glanced at Yeonwoo.
“That’s it?”
“…Huh?”
Yeonwoo slightly raised his body and approached him to kiss once more. As if upset about the earlier stolen touch, he held both cheeks firmly, telling him not to run away.
Thanks to this, Kang Dojun couldn’t pull his body back. But he had no intention of pulling away. When he came to his senses, he was desperate to cling closer.
He craved and craved but it wasn’t enough.
He sucked on Yeonwoo’s lower lip. Soon his red tongue penetrated into his mouth. He traced the neat teeth and gently caressed the bumpy roof of his mouth.
“Mmh.”
Yeonwoo made a sound of surprise when the tongue playing in his mouth suddenly grabbed his tongue root hard.
He hated losing at games and everything else. It was the same in love. I’ll like you more. It was ridiculous pride.
He moved his tongue, trying to compete somehow. Kang Dojun became quiet for a moment, perhaps recognizing his spirit. Taking advantage of that gap, Yeonwoo tried to push the soft flesh out of his mouth and enter his mouth.
However, Kang Dojun kept his mouth tightly shut, blocking Yeonwoo’s invasion.
After only his tongue entered the house and his lips closed tightly, Yeonwoo licked them asking to be opened, but they didn’t budge.
He glanced up to glare at him. His eyes were folded and he was grinning weakly.
‘I let you in though.’
It’s unfair. For a moment, annoyance washed over him and he bit his lower lip gently.
Then Kang Dojun’s eyes curved even more narrowly.
‘Like a dog.’
Not in a bad way. Like a puppy whining and biting and sucking on its owner because it couldn’t achieve what it wanted.
Yeonwoo was squirming small in his arms. A full sense of satisfaction made his heart feel tight.
‘How did I ever think of giving up on this kid?’
Kang Dojun opened his mouth wide and swallowed Yeonwoo’s lips in one bite.
Yeonwoo, burning with revenge from earlier, refused to open his mouth. Still, Kang Dojun was just happy kissing, sucking, and swallowing his lips without a moment of boredom.
Finally, when the surrendering Yeonwoo slightly parted his lips, Kang Dojun inserted his tongue as if he’d been waiting and messed around inside his mouth.
He didn’t know when to stop. Unable to withstand the pressing force, when Yeonwoo’s head tilted back, he persistently followed and showered him with kisses.
Then he supported the back of Yeonwoo’s head with his hand and held him.
“Yeonwoo-ya.”
Yeonwoo, who was out of breath, tapped Kang Dojun’s shoulder, but he only hesitated for a moment before rushing in again.
‘What the…!’
Yeonwoo shook his head as a last resort to escape from him.
When he turned his head to avoid Kang Dojun’s lips, he felt his cheek being sacrificed.
“Hyung, wait… Ah, this is driving me crazy.”
The avoidance was brief, and another kiss began at Kang Dojun’s earnest gaze looking at him like Puss in Boots.
Like oil catching fire, it didn’t know how to easily go out.
After continuing like that for a while, the tired Yeonwoo was the first to collapse.
‘I’ve never lost in stamina anywhere.’
Usually I breathe fine through my nose, but why do I want to breathe through my mouth when kissing?
His swollen lips were resentful.
Kang Dojun still seemed unsatisfied as he hugged Yeonwoo and dropped kisses indiscriminately on his face.
“Aren’t you tired?”
“I could do this all day.”
“…I’m tired because I didn’t sleep well yesterday. I could also do this all day.”
At his cute pride, Kang Dojun’s eyes folded gently.
“I see.”
At the voice that didn’t believe his words at all, Yeonwoo pouted. Kang Dojun found that adorable too and gave him a short kiss.
Yeonwoo, almost enlightened, accepted whatever he did to him without resistance and continued speaking.
“But hyung, since when have you liked me?”
“……”
Kang Dojun’s actions stopped. Yeonwoo looked up at him with expectant eyes.
“I don’t know.”
His brows furrowed at the unsatisfactory answer.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I liked you even before I was aware of it, so I don’t know.”
Yeonwoo’s eyes widened in surprise as if he’d seen a ghost.
‘…Same as me!’
He too had just realized he liked him at Kang Dojun’s question “Do you like me?”
Due to his grandmother’s influence, from childhood when sleeping his head faced east, he didn’t cut his nails at night, and didn’t step on thresholds.
As time passed, some things relaxed but some hardened into habits.
Besides that, he believed in abstract things that couldn’t be seen. Ghosts, fate, love – all things his grandmother had taught him.
They had already liked each other even before being aware of each other. Yeonwoo felt this was like fate.
It was his first lover.
He hadn’t even established that they were lovers, but was he making too early a judgment by himself? The thought was brief – we like each other and even had deep kisses, so we’re lovers! he corrected.
Yeonwoo was filled with joy he couldn’t contain.
To him, it seemed like he could give everything of himself without reservation. And he believed without doubt that he felt the same way.
Since grandmother, his perfect person had come. He was no longer lonely.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
