#094
At the same time, Hwi-kyung was having an emotional reunion with Ok-ja.
“Grandma…”
“Oh my, why is our puppy being so clingy today?”
“I missed you.”
“You saw me yesterday, what’s there to miss?”
“It feels like I haven’t seen you in months.”
“Tsk, do you think acting cute will make something appear from my pocket?”
Ok-ja tightly embraced Hwi-kyung with her wrinkled hands. He could clearly feel the warmth of her hand caressing his cheek, asking how hard it must be to find a job to act like this.
Only then did Hwi-kyung let out a sigh, feeling drained. When he came to his senses, he was back at the beginning without warning, which was quite shocking. Hwi-kyung couldn’t immediately call Gyo-ha, fearing that he might have failed to remove the system window and returned to the first day of regression.
But Lee Gyo-ha seemed to have succeeded in driving out the system window, defying all expectations. He didn’t explain specifically how he did it, but at least there were no more sudden appearances of the system window.
Hwi-kyung couldn’t remember the last time he didn’t see an opaque window pop up in front of him. A life without “Insufficient Proper Conditions” – it felt strange yet relieving.
The past regressions had brought Hwi-kyung many things. Jung Hwi-kyung used the abundant time to acquire numerous certifications. With each repeated iteration, he gained additional skills not taught in university.
The cheat key of “regression” allowed him to climb from working for passion pay at startups with fewer than 5 employees to a large corporation. Even after graduating from a decent mid-tier Seoul university, finding a proper job in Korea was like reaching for the stars.
However, that cheat key didn’t always work positively. Repeated regressions drive job seekers crazy. Repeating job preparation fifteen times couldn’t possibly be enjoyable. Getting the same certifications again, wandering around academies like a hyena looking for new certifications…
The unstable period repeated indefinitely. Stability seemed like an illusion. What’s the use of having multiple chances if you have to start from the bottom with an empty bank account every time? Even games would become boring if you restart this many times.
So at some point, everything became dull. Originally, he was working for money, not self-realization, but continuing work life just looking forward to retirement quickly submerged his spirit. Days passed questioning what he was living so hard for.
If this iteration fails, you can just move on to the next. If it doesn’t work here, you can just find another place. If the boss is terrible, you can throw coffee at them and just press ‘Y’ to the question “Would you like to regress?”
So wherever he went, he saw the bad points before the good ones. With repeated notifications of “Insufficient Proper Conditions,” it was impossible to view the surroundings positively. In reality, most Korean companies were just black companies.
If he could have compromised adequately, the suffering would have been less. Like others, Hwi-kyung wanted to work less and earn more if possible. Isn’t that the common wish of all workers?
But a perfect workplace was an illusion. There was no such thing as a “good place” in this world. Perfect humans are rarer than unicorns, so expecting a workplace run by imperfect humans to be entirely good was like saying you’d ride a unicorn to space.
In the end, regression solved nothing. The many opportunities and ample time only gave Hwi-kyung an obsession with getting a job at a good place and depression from realizing that this place wasn’t good either.
“I don’t want to get a job.”
Hwi-kyung mumbled this while in Ok-ja’s embrace. He was sick of working now. He wanted to stop acquiring new certifications and creating new resume formats to recycle applications.
No matter what he did, the sense of depletion was greater than the sense of achievement. Hwi-kyung actually wondered if he was meant to live without working. Otherwise, it didn’t make sense that nothing he did seemed to fit.
“Then don’t.”
“I need to earn money for your hospital bills, Grandma.”
“Nonsense. If there are no hospital bills, I can just live outside. I don’t need any treatment. I’m not even sick, really.”
“I’ll earn money quickly and make you completely better.”
“Forget it. Don’t wear yourself out.”
Now that he was back to being a job seeker, Hwi-kyung planned to rest comfortably without the system window’s interference. He could earn a little money through short-term stock trading.
Although he couldn’t make much without significant capital to use as funds, it would be enough not to rush into employment. Even if nothing was left after paying hospital bills, living expenses, and other utilities, he could live without debt.
Hwi-kyung closed his eyes lying on the makeshift bed in the bustling multi-patient ward. His heart fluttered, wondering when and where the system window might suddenly pop up.
But contrary to his worries, the system window didn’t appear all night. Lying next to Ok-ja, who was breathing evenly in a proper posture, Hwi-kyung thought of Gyo-ha while half-listening to the voices of patients in the next bed.
He missed him. He needed someone who would grab him and say, “You need to stop thinking,” with a blank face.
Knowing that he shouldn’t depend on people like this, Hwi-kyung still inevitably wanted Gyo-ha. It now felt strange not to have him by his side.
“Grandma, are you asleep?”
“No.”
“I have someone I want to introduce you to.”
“Who?”
“Just… someone you’ll like when you meet them.”
“A lover? You said you didn’t want to work, but you’ve started dating already?”
Ok-ja, who seemed about to fall asleep, struggled to sit up and looked down at Hwi-kyung lying on the makeshift bed. Instead of denying it vehemently, Hwi-kyung nodded slowly.
“Yes. Someone I like…”
“Oh my goodness.”
I’ve had enough sleep for today. Ok-ja pulled Hwi-kyung’s hand, telling him to come up to the narrow hospital bed. She was insistent even when told the nurse would scold them. Saying what could they do if an old woman wanted to sleep with her grandchild, Ok-ja tightly embraced Hwi-kyung.
“My precious child.”
Hwi-kyung closed his eyes again while hugging Ok-ja back. Perhaps this time, he could finally show his grandmother a successful Kim Tae-pung concert.
Perhaps this time…
It was no longer a phrase expressing exhaustion. Hwi-kyung’s “this time” now held complete hope. Even if there was no next time, even if he could no longer wander looking for a new place.
Not having more chances wasn’t always as negative as it seemed. There’s always settlement waiting at the end of wandering. It was okay if there was no “good place” in the world. When embraced in such warm arms, anywhere could become a good place.
Hwi-kyung had become someone who could compromise with the world. He no longer had a system window interfering and urging him to move on to the next. Instead, he had Ok-ja and Gyo-ha who could properly embrace him.
Now, the “proper standard” was met. Because the “insufficiency” that had long followed Hwi-kyung was gone.
* * *
How terrifying inertia can be. On the tenth day of the sixteenth iteration, Jung Hwi-kyung was sitting in a TOEIC exam room.
Even if he wasn’t going to get a job, shouldn’t he take the exam? After all, certifications could be useful for something. Moreover, most certifications were valid for 2 years. It was a short period compared to the exam fee, but to Hwi-kyung, 2 years felt like a lifetime. This was because the twelfth iteration, which Jung Hwi-kyung endured the longest, lasted 10 years.
Besides, having taken the same exam over ten times, he could recall most, if not all, of the exam questions. He could at least remember the answers to 20 TOEIC listening questions in order. He couldn’t waste this ability to remember certification exam answers instead of winning lottery numbers.
The Korean blood that relentlessly pursued efficiency rejected the very concept of “just resting.” Jung Hwi-kyung took the HSK three days after TOEIC. Then JLPT…
[Why can’t I reach you again]
[I won the lottery]
[This is really strange are you perhaps getting certifications?]
[You don’t need to get a job so surely you’re not really getting certifications again?]
[Please]
[This is a serious job addiction]
True to those words, Hwi-kyung was enthusiastically collecting certifications. The person who had declared he would do nothing and rest had disappeared.
He missed several of Gyo-ha’s calls because he was running around taking exams like a madman. He even took a Russian language exam. And that wasn’t all. He also took the Computer Proficiency Test at the highest level.
Lee Gyo-ha couldn’t understand Jung Hwi-kyung’s actions of doing things just because he could. Please just rest! You said you weren’t going to get a job! You said you were sick of working!
However, being sick of something and the anxiety of not knowing what questions would come in the next exam if he missed this one were separate issues.
[JavaScript]
[In 3 years, there will be new program codes]
[I’ll just get this one]
[Right, I need to do Python now too. Otherwise, the exam trends will all change, you know?]
I still think I should at least take OPIc when the application fee is discounted… Jung Hwi-kyung was someone who had been giving self-development lectures in the twelfth iteration. Regression is painful. But Hwi-kyung would have succeeded someday even without regressing.
He was the type to create work and pour himself into it even if left alone…
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
