#054
Despite it being his first time sleeping in someone else’s house, Hwi-kyung slept very soundly. Not only did he not have trouble sleeping in an unfamiliar place, but he didn’t even wake up once during the night. It had been a long time since he hadn’t had a nightmare.
It was rare for him to sleep so well without being exhausted or passing out. Since the sixth iteration, Hwi-kyung couldn’t easily fall asleep unless he was overworked. He was always anxious that when he woke up, everything he had experienced might have been a dream.
While sometimes wishing that all of this was just a dream, Hwi-kyung was also afraid that the long years he had experienced might all be false. How could it all be fake when it felt so vivid? If so, why did he have to suffer for such a long time?
In fact, when looking at the system window, Hwi-kyung would often distract his complicated feelings with thoughts that this might all be a game and he was just a playable character created by a gamer with bad taste. The end of such delusions was always emptiness.
Why did it have to be him? There were countless unfortunate job seekers in the world. Most of them would have willingly helped the Bosal grandmother if they had encountered her, just like Hwi-kyung did.
Hwi-kyung would lie awake at night whenever he was reminded that he, who wasn’t particularly special, was living such a miserable life because of one poorly made wish. While regression might be an opportunity for some, it was a curse for him.
But in Gyo-ha’s officetel, everything felt peaceful. This world couldn’t be fake. Hwi-kyung thought this while looking at Gyo-ha. No matter how crazy he might be, he couldn’t have created a character like Gyo-ha with his imagination.
Unlike Park Bong-joon, Kang Moon-chul, or Yoon Marcia, Lee Gyo-ha was not someone Jung Hwi-kyung could possibly mistake or imagine. From the beginning, Lee Gyo-ha always moved differently from Jung Hwi-kyung’s expectations. Moreover, he pursued Hwi-kyung even when the iterations changed.
The existence of something ‘real’ meant he wasn’t crazy. This fact reassured Hwi-kyung. All those nights he spent anxiously wondering if this was all just a delusion now seemed foolish.
Hwi-kyung buried his face in the pillow. The bedding in Gyo-ha’s officetel was several times softer than his own, and it smelled of expensive fabric softener.
It seemed oddly similar to Gyo-ha’s scent. Hwi-kyung buried his nose in the bedding, took a few deep breaths, and then fell into a deep sleep as if passing out. When he woke up and checked the time, he was shocked.
“…Why is it already 7 o’clock?”
Having been a company employee for too long, Hwi-kyung always woke up at 6 AM no matter when he went to sleep. Even if he slept at 5 AM, he would wake up an hour later.
Whether the company was close or far, waking up at 6 AM was Hwi-kyung’s consistent habit. He needed to wake up at that time to renew his numerous certifications. Even as a regression, he had to study consistently.
There was no choice because he would forget if he didn’t. It would be nice if a person could remember everything for a lifetime, but Hwi-kyung periodically forgot languages he didn’t use. To avoid paying the exam fee twice when moving to the next iteration, consistent memorization of words and example sentences was essential.
But this wasn’t Hwi-kyung’s home. There was no English vocabulary notebook on the old desk, no Chinese character memorization book. Not only that, but there wasn’t even the cheap black ballpoint pen that Hwi-kyung often used.
Unlike Hwi-kyung, Gyo-ha didn’t need to study English because he had lived in the United States for so long. He was a semi-native speaker who sometimes even thought in English. Because of this, it was hard to find things like notebooks or pens in Lee Gyo-ha’s house.
Hwi-kyung became curious about how Gyo-ha studied English and Chinese. Unlike Hwi-kyung, Gyo-ha certainly didn’t have a TOEIC score or HSK certification. Yet Lee Gyo-ha boasted smooth language skills every morning, as if mocking Jung Hwi-kyung who studied daily.
“I really hate this…”
Although he had been awake for a while, it was hard to get out of bed. His body felt limp like a water-soaked cotton. Even though he woke up an hour later than usual, if he got up now, he would just end up sitting blankly with nothing to do.
So Hwi-kyung cursed Gyo-ha while lying in bed. It was annoying that while others studied hard to barely read and write, Gyo-ha could speak like a native just because he had lived abroad for a long time.
How unfair. Hwi-kyung decided that next time he got the chance, he would pull out Gyo-ha’s hair. Apart from liking Gyo-ha, he wanted to devour him and steal only his language talent.
“Are you awake?”
Unaware that Hwi-kyung was building up anger towards him, Gyo-ha suddenly opened the door and came in. Even though it was his own house, he didn’t even knock once. Hwi-kyung once again fueled his hatred for Gyo-ha.
“Please knock.”
“I heard you stirring. I thought you might be awake already.”
“I’m up. I slept an hour longer than usual.”
“It’s not even 7 AM yet, right? I’ll drive you, so you can sleep a bit more if you want.”
“No thanks.”
Hwi-kyung groaned as he got up. Before his forced regression life in a black company, Hwi-kyung had been a healthy young man. Although he got severely sick when he did fall ill, he wasn’t sickly enough to be exempted from active duty in the army.
However, after suffering from the company, the root of all evil, Hwi-kyung had acquired all sorts of illnesses. His body had become notably weaker since the regression began.
In some iterations, he had suffered from a herniated disc. It was natural for his back to be ruined when he was tied to an office chair for at least 8 hours a day.
Although he returned to a healthy body when regressing to the beginning, the pain he had once felt didn’t completely disappear. Just as the memory of attempting suicide didn’t vanish even though the act itself was undone, the experience of pain contributed to making him sick again.
Even when returning to a healthy body, Hwi-kyung often groaned in pain. Even if he went to a doctor, he only received vague diagnoses like “Don’t stress yourself.”Â
You try regressing and see if you can avoid stress…. Hwi-kyung eventually stopped going to the hospital, not wanting to deal with doctors who clicked their tongues wondering why such a young person was always complaining about pain. It was a body that wouldn’t die anyway.
“Are you dizzy?”
“It’s nothing.”
“You always say that. Let’s just get a thorough examination once.”
“I used to be healthy. Before the regression, even when I got sick, it wasn’t this bad.”
“…”
“It’s just stress-related. Even if I get examined, nothing will show up. At this age, I’m too young to have tumors or anything like that.”
Hwi-kyung’s casual muttering only affected Gyo-ha. Gyo-ha wanted to scream just imagining how much Hwi-kyung must have overworked his body all this time.
Since Hwi-kyung said he had even briefly died from overwork and come back to life, he must have endured even the pain of death. While having the mental fortitude to endure death was certainly impressive, it was also concerning.
Is that really enduring? Isn’t it just persevering until you’re completely worn out?
“When we live together…”
“I told you we’re not living together.”
“Just hypothetically…”
“There’s no ‘hypothetically’ about it.”
“Oh come on, Hwi-kyung. Just listen for a moment. If we live together!”
“…”
“How about jogging with me every morning? I’ll drive you to work every day.”
“No thanks.”
“Why not?”
“That damn ‘why’… I don’t have time for jogging. I have things to do every morning too.”
“Checking the stock market?”
“That too, but… I told you I’m not going to live with you anyway.”
Despite Hwi-kyung’s repeated refusals, Gyo-ha just stared at him with clear eyes like a madman. Far from being discouraged, his gaze was closer to ‘We’ll see if you can avoid living with me.’
It was useless to try to ignore that gaze. Gyo-ha was cheerfully insisting that he would choose Hwi-kyung’s daily work outfit again today. While Hwi-kyung was feeling deeply troubled, Gyo-ha seemed to be having a great time.
This behavior of Lee Gyo-ha was driving Jung Hwi-kyung crazy. While Hwi-kyung liked Gyo-ha, he also felt like he could die from how annoying Gyo-ha was every moment. He just wanted to hit Lee Gyo-ha once. Just once, really hard…
However, when Gyo-ha thoughtfully prepared breakfast, including soybean paste soup, Hwi-kyung stopped thinking about hitting him. He had thought Gyo-ha was quite good at cooking when he made French toast, but the soybean paste soup Gyo-ha made was several times more delicious than what you’d get at a high-end traditional Korean restaurant.
“Does it suit your taste?”
“Why… why are you so good at cooking?”
“In the twelfth iteration, when you were a team leader, I was in the food business.”
“…”
“If I wanted to sell, I had to try it myself, right? So I learned.”
While Hwi-kyung was studying hard and obtaining certifications, Gyo-ha hadn’t just been fooling around either. Although he was naturally indulgent, the past years had been long and boring for Gyo-ha too if he had just played around.
It was just the right amount of time to go crazy if you didn’t live diligently. Moreover, unlike Hwi-kyung who knew when he would regress, Gyo-ha suddenly moved to the next iteration while living well.
Everything he had achieved was like a sandcastle that could crumble at any moment. Yet Gyo-ha kept steadily building that sandcastle. Even when the waves came, he endured and started over from the beginning.
That was the only commonality between Hwi-kyung and Gyo-ha. Silently performing the life given to them over and over again. The significant difference was that one had gone mad, while the other was still sane despite all the chaos.
“How did you get caught up in my regression…”
As if he had never found Gyo-ha annoying, Hwi-kyung felt sorry for him again. Unlike himself who had made a wrong wish, Gyo-ha had unfortunately been repeating the same life on the opposite side of the earth, not even knowing who the main regression subject was.
Although it wasn’t intentional, Hwi-kyung had been the wave that had destroyed Gyo-ha’s sandcastle countless times. So even if Gyo-ha had really put Hwi-kyung in a drum and abandoned him in the Pacific Ocean, Hwi-kyung would have to forgive him at least once.
“But isn’t it fortunate that I got involved?”
“How can you say that?”
“Here. I’m trying to think positively about this situation.”
“…”
“We weren’t originally destined, but we regressed like this to meet fatefully. Doesn’t it feel a bit better if you think about it that way?”
Hwi-kyung put down his spoon and stared at the empty bowl. It had been so long since he had eaten a proper breakfast with soup and rice that he couldn’t easily find words to refute.
Even if he thought that he had gone through all this hardship to meet Lee Gyo-ha, fourteen regressions were still just a damn thing for Hwi-kyung. Although it felt better than thinking about going back to the beginning after getting a job at a black company, it was just slightly less shitty, not not shitty at all.
“Well, let’s say it is.”
But instead of denying it with “No, it’s not,” Hwi-kyung partially accepted Gyo-ha’s positive thinking. It seemed like that was the only way he could continue living with his sanity intact.
