#Side Story 01
Side Story 1. My Graduate School Is Black
Why would anyone go to graduate school after already finishing college? Because they love studying? To add another line to their resume when changing jobs? Or because their parents told them to?
The reasons vary from person to person. Even in modern society where universities have become hosts of capitalism rather than ivory towers of knowledge, graduate schools still held some “authority” or “honor.” Whether you got in with money or knowledge, it’s undeniable that Dr. Quick-Quick sounds more impressive than Mr. Quick-Quick or Master Quick-Quick.
However, Gyo-ha felt deep skepticism about graduate school as an educational institution. It wasn’t always like this—it started after his 6th regression when he achieved the grand slam of repeatedly graduating from graduate school. In his view, a doctoral degree was just a gilded crabapple.
To prove your knowledge, you need certifications, and to get those certifications, you need to write papers. To say “I know this,” you even had to slip examination fees to the dissertation committee members.
Moreover, most dissertations were judged more on format than content. Citation methods were considered most important, and innovative thesis topics were frequently rejected for lacking sufficient prior research.
From the beginning, the lectures costing millions of won per semester were mostly worthless. The only good thing about registering for graduate school was free access to papers that others had written like their last wills.
“Crazy professor…”
Perhaps instinctively sensing Gyo-ha’s aversion to graduate school, his advisor frequently summoned him. Praising his enthusiastic learning attitude and openness to knowledge outside his major, the professor continuously handed Gyo-ha new assignments.
How about presenting this paper, wouldn’t it be good to participate in that project… Gyo-ha was shocked when told to join as a research assistant for university textbook writing managed by the industry-university cooperation unit.
Apparently, the professor positively evaluated Gyo-ha for continuously submitting new papers. I can’t let you graduate, but I can make you study more. The professor’s attention mostly flowed in a negative direction.
‘How about working as a teaching assistant?’
‘Pardon?’
‘You have potential. True scholars are usually not in their right mind.’
‘…’
‘Having passion for exploration is a good thing. It’s your fate to keep studying.’
For a graduate student, being offered a teaching assistant position is like a death sentence.
Graduate students who voluntarily become TAs are okay. These are preferred graduate students. Since they still have the possibility of graduation, even if it takes longer, they can eventually escape graduate school.
But graduate students whom professors suggest for TA positions? These are the worst graduate students. Such people have no chance of rehabilitation. Forget graduation—they’re likely to become permanent fixtures beside their professors. Their only future is the professor personally contacting them even after earning their doctorate.
Gyo-ha was greatly shocked to realize he had taken the worst graduate student route. Even during his second regression when he was a model student enthusiastically attending lectures, he had never been offered a TA position… But after writing strange papers despite being told not to, the professor clearly pulled out his trump card of “TA offer.”
Although he rejected the professor’s offer, saying graduation was his goal and he had no intention of studying further, his advisor didn’t seem willing to give up on Gyo-ha. Hehe, you can’t go! You absolutely can’t graduate! Don’t think you’ll get a degree with a dissertation like this!
For graduate students, KISS is closer than an actual kiss. Any unfortunate graduate student who understood this would also think of RISS. This was truly a useless brainstorming exercise.
Gyo-ha once again contemplated the usefulness of graduate school. Why does graduate school exist as an institution? In modern society where expert knowledge is available with a single internet search, what advantage could endless studying possibly give to humans?
Now even having a master’s or doctorate doesn’t easily lead to salary increases since everyone has them. It seemed unbelievable that one had to endure the torture of graduate school just for external reputation.
Would the world end if the chairman’s son couldn’t graduate from graduate school? Gyo-ha pitifully wiped his dry eyes. Even a bachelor’s degree was considered highly educated, but Koreans crazy about academic inflation had driven him to hell.
“I will absolutely never become a teaching assistant…”
That was a flag statement.
Gyo-ha returned home like a defeated soldier, unaware that he had just raised a negative flag guaranteed to make him do exactly what he said he wouldn’t do. Just kill me instead! I absolutely won’t become a TA!
…When you say something like that, it’s bound to happen.
Because negations are enchanted. If you say you absolutely won’t do something, you end up doing it. The stronger the denial, the stronger the effect.
Gyo-ha, who had rejected the TA offer with his whole body, was summoned to the professor’s office just days later. He was on his way to be told to rewrite another strange paper.
But there, he discovered a familiar face. Amy, who had already graduated from graduate school, was being held hostage in the professor’s office.
[Amy, why are you here?]
Amy, who had once reported Gyo-ha as a drug offender, looked as haggard as if she herself had become addicted to drugs. She didn’t immediately recognize Gyo-ha who was acting familiar with her.
Instead, she showed him a stack of printed papers with her disheveled appearance. Sorry for wasting paper on useless dissertations! Polar bears, I’ll write more useful papers next time!
[Did you come to save me on the day I was summoned to the research lab?]
[No? I got caught too.]
[…..]
[I’m dying. It doesn’t end even after graduation. I got a job arranged by the professor and I’m still writing papers after graduation.]
Amy, working during the day and writing papers at night, looked like she could die at any moment. She smelled of coffee and lemon with every word, apparently from consuming too many energy drinks.
[If Professor MacGuire offers you a TA position, run away even if it kills you.]
[…Why?]
[Because once you become a TA, you’ll have to write papers even after graduating…]
Despite having regressed as a graduate student more than ten times, the thought of writing papers even after graduation was still terrifying. Amy hurriedly left, saying she had taken half a day off to come to school. How unfortunate is it to be both an employee and a graduate student? Gyo-ha blankly watched Amy’s retreating figure.
Unfortunately, Lee Gyo-ha couldn’t escape from Professor MacGuire. Because MacGuire was his advisor. MacGuire or MacAssignment… Gyo-ha intended to firmly reject the crazy professor’s TA offer, following Amy’s advice.
Why would anyone do such a harsh job as a TA in the first place? Gyo-ha didn’t need money, nor did he want academic achievement or the professor’s favor. All Gyo-ha wanted was sweet early graduation.
[If you become a TA, I’ll let you graduate early.]
[Pardon?]
[I’m changing my offer. If you work as a TA for just six months, I’ll approve your graduation dissertation regardless of what you write.]
[Are you serious?]
[Yes. As long as you can connect it to business administration in some way, I’ll make sure your dissertation goes through review no matter what nonsense you write.]
The professor dangled the sweet bait of early graduation as if he’d been waiting for this moment. Entranced by that bait, Gyo-ha nodded unconsciously instead of saying he would consider it further. Despite Amy’s advice, his resolve wavered at the words “early graduation.”
A graduate student’s heart is like a reed. When they first hear a proposal from their professor, they’re overcome with the delusion that they can do anything. Gyo-ha was no different. Being a TA… how bad could it be? Maybe it won’t involve much work?
Unfounded confidence took over Gyo-ha’s mind. Wouldn’t it be beneficial to work as a TA for just six months and get an early dissertation review? Even as a business administration major, Gyo-ha was bad at calculations.
Professor MacGuire patted Gyo-ha’s shoulder with a hollow face. He followed with encouraging words about how the TA position would be educational. Though clearly meant to be positive, somehow it sounded like a curse.
* * *
Jung Hwi-kyung stared at the empty living room with concern. Why haven’t I seen this person lately? Could they be having an affair?
It had been three days since Gyo-ha had been home. Because of commute times, Hwi-kyung left home early and returned late, making it impossible to meet Gyo-ha who only briefly stopped by the house in the mornings.
This was the first time they had gone so long without a conversation since moving in together. When they lived separately, not seeing each other was natural, but it was strange to find it so difficult to meet while living in the same house.
Hwi-kyung seriously suspected Gyo-ha might be having an affair. He was an unavoidable skeptic after all. Like those crazy people who have “office husbands” or “office wives,” Gyo-ha might have someone hidden at graduate school. Could there be such things as “university husbands” or “university wives”?
Otherwise, there was no explanation for why Gyo-ha only came home to change clothes. Even their messaging had become less frequent lately.
Though Hwi-kyung had heard that Gyo-ha had started working as a TA for graduation, even that felt like a lie. The university TAs that Hwi-kyung remembered rarely had to work as hard as graduate TAs.
Moreover, it was strange that the professor who constantly rejected Gyo-ha’s outlandish papers had specifically chosen him as a TA. Hwi-kyung sighed deeply, feeling an unfamiliar suspicion growing.
This groundless suspicion was unlike him. Such thinking better suited Gyo-ha, who had abandoned reason and thought. Living together had gradually made Hwi-kyung more emotional, becoming more like Gyo-ha.
Hwi-kyung checked the time and stood up. From here, it would take 30 minutes by car to reach Gyo-ha’s university. Having lost his sense of distance from living in America, Hwi-kyung decided to visit the nearby university in person. That way, he could see with his own eyes and make his own judgment.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
