“I think I need to know too. You need me.”
“Eden, how could we involve you in something like this…”
“Serena and you—I’ll protect you.”
Just then, Duke returned and delivered bad news. The conclusion had been reached that Leslie should be captured alive and handed over to the judgment of the law. It was sound logic, of course, but those more accustomed to dealing with things directly found it absurd.
Jim openly asked whether there was any need to take such a long way around, and Henry joined in too. If the sensitive parts related to national security were removed, there would be practically no physical evidence left, so what trial were they talking about? Serena’s eyes, filled with dismay, turned toward Eden.
Eden organized the key points and began assessing the situation. The moment when his eyes had met perfectly with the murderer’s was still vivid, so he started from there. There was no way Leslie, who had gone from a capable agent to a hired killer, would have left evidence behind, and the driver who had pursued her had been injured in the explosion. Even if his condition improved, Eden’s eyes, which had witnessed the murder, were the final safeguard.
Moreover, Duke had implied that it was no coincidence Leslie’s threat had been directed at the Reed family, who had at least appeared peaceful on the surface.
Eden could guess from the nod Duke gave toward him. The threat aimed at his parents would soon be aimed at him. He was important enough that they had quit their work and pursued an ordinary life for his sake, and now he was also a key witness. It was obvious the claws would reach for him.
There was nothing he could not understand logically. Depending on how things unfolded, the operation would keep changing moment by moment, but for now, it was a situation he could not easily back out of.
Because Eden had always felt uneasy about ordinary daily life, he did not deny the reality he faced. He thought solving it quickly was the answer, rather than turning away. Rationally, he accepted that something that had always been bound to happen had simply arrived now. He only deeply regretted the timing.
Eden kept thinking of one man.
Somerset.
Can I not lose you? What do I do when I don’t want to let you go? I haven’t even shown you all of me yet.
He had grown too big to throw a tantrum like a child. Since he could no longer hide behind the defensive wall called oblivion, all he felt was helplessness. He could no longer hypnotize himself into believing this was a bad dream. Ah, he swallowed the silent sigh and tore at his hair.
“This isn’t something that ends by eliminating one person. If we want to use this as the starting point to string up the defectors one after another, we need to look farther and wider.”
Jim, Henry, and Serena refuted Duke’s rational judgment.
“It’d be easier to eliminate them all, far and wide. Are you denying the way we’ve worked until now at this point? Unbelievable.”
“Why does Green, why does this, have to be the starting point? What are you going to do if we can’t do it that way!”
“I’ll handle it. We can say I went mad and ran wild. With the Sherpa matter, we had a personal grudge against each other.”
Their conversation flowed like background noise, yet at times it pierced his ears. His ear canals throbbed as much as they had when he was shocked by the explosion. The source of the pain was not outside, but inside. Eden could not rescue his heart, as though it had sunk into a thornbush—the feeling of being stabbed and torn. He could only feel the pain consuming his entire body.
Eventually, the four of them fell silent. It was after Duke took another call and informed them, “Green’s car has been found. They say it was burned, so nothing could be recovered.”
Eden met their eyes one by one. Serena’s pupils trembled, and Henry looked as though he might burst into tears at any moment. Jim forced a smile, while only Duke maintained his composure.
“I’m needed, right? And it’s dangerous.”
Eden asked Duke. Because he would answer most rationally.
“Yes.”
Serena lunged at him fiercely and grabbed him by the collar. The one who stopped her as she shouted at him to take back what he had just said was the doctor. Having returned just in time, he separated Serena and Duke and delivered news.
“Jay’s surgery is over. Let’s move as soon as he regains consciousness.”
“There’s no time to wait. We leave now. Green’s whereabouts are unclear again, so we need to hurry.”
Under Duke’s lead, the doctor and Jim moved. Unlike them, who hurried out to get Jay, Serena and Henry did not budge. Eden stared at the two of them standing as though nailed in place, then moved first. When he got off the bed and tried to pull the IV needle out of the back of his hand, Serena stopped him in alarm.
“Eden, no. Wait.”
She grabbed Eden’s arm, and Henry carefully removed the needle for him.
“Does it hurt?” His voice trembled slightly as he asked. As Henry wiped the droplets of blood away with the hem of his clothes, Eden sensed desperation from him. If Eden complained weakly that it hurt, Henry and Serena would both fall apart.
Act calm. I have to.
He understood in his head that, since this was an unavoidable reality, he had to accept it anyway. But his body would not follow. Eden, who had endured even with blood-soaked corpses before him, lost strength in his legs and collapsed. Even when he had witnessed the explosion from close by, he had not been shocked this badly.
Just when he had felt relieved that he had finally climbed out of that deep pit, he had rolled back down again. He was falling after losing Somerset, who had pulled him up. The reality of him moving farther away was too cruel.
Serena and Henry reached out their hands. But Eden did not borrow their strength. He staggered to his feet alone and muttered. It was not resistance, but resignation; not anger, but sorrow.
“Why now of all times? Why, why…”
Now, when he had someone he did not want to lose. Now, when he had someone he could never erase.
Somerset’s face shimmered before him. You, smiling so freshly. You, so terribly lovely. When you were there, I could breathe. You made my real time move. I love you. I love you so, so much.
Eden barely gathered his blurring focus. He exhaled the surging wave of emotion as a sigh.
“We’re so devastated that we have to give you this burden too. Why were you there again… Why did we put you there again…”
Henry held Serena as she sobbed, barely supporting her. Eden wanted to tell them bravely that it was all right, but he could not bring himself to speak. Because it was not all right.
The future he had finally dared to dream of twisted out of shape. He had to pull the love he wanted to cherish, the person he wanted to cherish, out of his arms. A hole would be punched clean through his chest, leaving it in tatters. Without you, it won’t heal.
Eden swallowed his pessimism and endured as he stood facing Duke.
“There’s a high chance people connected to me will be in danger too, right?”
“……”
“Tell me honestly.”
“It depends on the situation, but in this case, we can’t rule out the possibility.”
Even if the chance of sparks flying toward Somerset was slim, he had to be careful. Because he was someone special, the worry was that much greater. If even the slightest harm came to him, Eden would never forgive himself.
“Then it has to be in a way that takes me out of their sight. The most certain method would probably be…”
Death.
Being erased from the list of people to watch was the safest option. Abandoning his current life. Being completely isolated from everyone who knew him.
“We’ll make them think you died when the car exploded.”
Eden accepted Duke’s decision. Perhaps pitying his drained appearance, Serena placed a hand on his shoulder and said,
“If there’s anyone you want to say goodbye to one last time, do it.”
Last.
The painfully cold word made his chest ache. Even that would not be easy.
“El—no, Serena. That’s not allowed. In a situation where we’re faking his death, we can’t carelessly show an opening.”
“That’s too cruel to Eden, Duke. At least that much…”
“Let’s just leave as if I never existed.”
Apart from rational judgment, Eden did not want to say anything to Somerset. He even demanded that his death be hidden. Rather than plunge him into grief, it was better to earn his hatred and resentment. At the same time, it was a selfish desire, a desperate struggle to leave even a scratch behind because he did not want to be erased.
Can I solve this and return to you? I have to, somehow. I have to survive, end everything, and go to you. Eden clenched his fists tightly and left the hospital room.
At the end of that hot summer, of that dazzling and burning affection, there was a terrible loss.
***
Eden Reed looked back out of habit.
On that summer that had been both unbearably fantastical and despairing. The summer I had known you and lost you.
