I gathered up the thoughts that led to my firm resolve and kept eating the cake. Maybe my tongue really had gone numb, because I barely tasted anything. Watching me suddenly shovel cake into my mouth, Mom put on a stern expression.
Like she was scolding a mischievous child.
“Don’t tell me that’s how you normally eat too? Where did your refinement go? You’re no better than a barbarian.”
“Barbarians probably don’t use forks.”
It wasn’t even a particularly funny comeback, yet Jonas let out an awkward laugh to ease the tension. Mom and I turned toward him with eerily similar faces and spoke at the same time.
“You missed the timing this time, Jonas.”
“We were just talking.”
Even a great poet like Homer makes mistakes sometimes. Just because he’d misjudged the timing once didn’t change the fact that Jonas was an excellent mediator.
Sure enough, before long Mom and I clashed again. She spotted a dessert piled high with fruit and tried to order it despite having no intention of eating it. Since I’d already had enough sweet desserts, I tried to stop her, and as our voices gradually rose, Jonas intervened.
In the end, the dessert went to him.
Someone like Jonas probably already had a wonderful retirement plan laid out, but I sincerely hoped he’d keep working with Mom for a long time. I didn’t even want to imagine a world without him.
It’d be better if Eden Reed disappeared again inste—…….
No, that would be fucking awful in its own way too.
The irritation flared up from merely thinking about it. As I scrubbed at my dry face, Mom looked at me as if I were a ghost and hurriedly called for Jonas.
“Jonas, could you show Somerset a mirror? Honestly, look at your expression right now.”
Jonas pulled a hand mirror from the inside pocket of his jacket and held it out to me. The face reflected in the small circle wore a bleak expression. I pressed at my wrinkled brow until it smoothed out, then asked,
“Mom. Do you remember Eden? Eden Reed. He lived next door for a little while. That ridiculously pretty and handsome guy. He came over to the house a lot too.”
“I suppose there might have been someone like that.”
“Jonas, you remember him, right?”
“Yes, I remember. Back then I was often away from the house, so I don’t recall meeting him personally, but I heard stories from the staff.”
“Do you know why he suddenly disappeared?”
Jonas said he didn’t know. He remembered me going around asking the household staff back then, but unfortunately he knew nothing about the rumored visitor.
Unlike him, who at least tried to think it over with me, Mom looked indifferent.
“If I barely knew the man, how would I know why he suddenly disappeared?”
She was right.
Even I, who thought I knew him well, didn’t know.
“Exactly. That’s what I’m saying—I don’t know either.”
In the end, it circled right back around.
I wanted to know about Eden Reed. I wanted to pry open his heavy mouth. I was dying to know not only why he was acting like a stalker, but why he’d left me in the first place.
I scratched my head and stared out the window when Jonas suddenly held the mirror up in front of me again. My brow had furrowed once more.
I forced a smile.
***
Our meeting ended with choosing an outfit suitable for Mom’s dinner engagement. Jonas got out of the car first after it stopped in front of my apartment and opened the door for me.
“Happy birthday, Somerset.”
His kindly smile and a gift box were waiting for me.
“Thanks. Figures Jonas wouldn’t forget.”
“It’d be a shame to miss the chance to repay someone who sends expensive wine as a birthday gift every year.”
When I opened the box, I found a folded linen tablecloth and a pale pink floral apron inside.
The gift was so unexpected that I looked puzzled.
“I think this requires an explanation.”
“I thought it would suit you. Cooking at home’s become my hobby lately, so I bought one for myself and picked one up for you too.”
“A true man shines brightest in the kitchen. You could at least wear only the gift and take a commemorative pho—”
“I’ll respectfully decline that.”
“Won’t you regret it? You’d look incredibly sexy.”
While we traded light jokes, Mom extended her fingertips out the car window, crooked them once, and asked,
“So that’s why you extorted clothes as a birthday gift?”
I bent at the waist as though climbing back into the car and met her eyes.
“You happy? Thanks to me, you got to become a mother who celebrates her son’s birthday.”
How considerate of me. Preventing an unfortunate situation and all. Of course, the great Deborah Quinn wasn’t someone who embarrassed easily anyway.
Mom didn’t bat an eye as she rationalized herself.
“There are things everyone possesses equally. Birthdays. Any being born into this world naturally has one. If it were something I alone possessed, that’d be different, but don’t place too much meaning on something everyone has.”
“It’s true everyone has a birthday, but my birthday exists only for me. That makes it special. And to argue back, I wasn’t placing too much meaning on it. Receiving gifts isn’t exactly some grand ritual.”
If she’d just said “happy birthday” first, I wouldn’t have acted childishly petty.
I wrinkled my nose and brushed back hair that resembled hers in texture.
“Thanks for giving birth to me. Whether it was out of necessity or calculated decision-making or whatever.”
After offering my greeting as a son and straightening up, Mom called out to me.
“Somerset.”
Reluctantly, I faced her again.
Then I heard an unexpected apology.
“I’ve been so busy lately that I’ve had no peace of mind. I can’t even remember the last time I looked at a calendar.”
It was closer to an excuse than an apology, but for Mom, it was still a significant lowering of pride. Secretly surprised, I widened my eyes before letting out a small laugh.
“It’s okay. That happens. Honestly, I only realized it was my birthday today too. Looks like your masterpiece takes after its creator.”
I’d only checked the date after receiving all the birthday messages that morning. My life had been hectic lately too.
“It’s not good to let your guard down. You’ll look full of openings.”
“Are we really doing this? Let’s not start another argument.”
When I demanded a truce, Mom lightly shrugged. Just like always, an arrogant aura surrounded her.
“Anyway……”
I immediately became skeptical when she started speaking again.
“Wouldn’t now be the right time for us to exchange warm goodbyes?”
“Think of it as part of the farewell.”
Yes, Your Majesty.
“That young man you mentioned earlier.”
“Eden?”
“If that young man disappeared, then he must have had unavoidable circumstances. Otherwise it makes no sense.”
Before I could ask why, Mom continued.
“Because my son is wonderful. No one could casually throw him away or reject him. To handle my masterpiece carelessly. The audacity. Even a god wouldn’t dare.”
It was advice woven from sky-high confidence and her own peculiar form of maternal affection.
I nodded immediately.
Her logic was so sound I completely agreed.
Leaving me was idiotic. The worst kind of terrible idiot.
“Mom, your artistic eye’s improved a lot. I’ll admit it.”
To commemorate our rare moment of agreement, I offered a handshake, and Mom accepted elegantly. Watching us, Jonas clapped lightly, looking pleased.
After the two of them left, I headed home.
My lively footsteps, accompanied by frivolous sounds, came to a dramatic halt in front of the door.
As though someone had covered my ears and cut off every sound at once.
Or like a movie ending in a numb, tragic finale, darkness falling with the credits as silence settled in.
Like sinking into deep sleep after an exhausting day.
You’d probably appear in that dream too.
Eden.
I mouthed the name silently, then ran a hand through my hair. An absurd and irritating sight waited before me.
So this was what he’d been doing behind the scenes after staying out of sight all day.
Fuck.
A bouquet woven from white flowers and a stiff paper shopping bag hung from the doorknob. The flowers resembled the ones the protagonist in Christmas Jaws—the movie I’d watched with Eden Reed—received from his fiancée, and inside the bag was a jacket I’d admired while passing by a select shop in SoHo.
Was this why I hadn’t seen him all day?
[Happy birthday.]
This fucking stalker obviously knew my birthday.
Was it information he dug up through investigation, or something pulled from memory?
Either way, why was he trying to throw me into confusion with something like this?
Bastard.
You definitely knew this would shake my composure too. You know everything, and yet you still pull this cute little stunt.
I kicked the door irritably.
BANG!
The sound that had vanished came roaring back and dragged me into reality. Eden Reed, who’d already filled my mind completely, jabbed at me relentlessly. The feeling went beyond irritation into anger. Without realizing it, I clenched my fists and tightened my jaw.
There are countless reasons you piss me off, but the first is that you’re an unsolvable riddle.
I don’t know what this behavior of yours means, or why you’re doing any of this.
You know everything about me, but I know nothing about you! I don’t know what kind of person you are now. Hell, I’m even starting to get confused about the you from the past.
I couldn’t control my fury at all.
I carried Jonas’s gift inside, left Eden’s hanging on the doorknob, and turned around. I hurried down to the first floor and went outside.
The black sedan I hadn’t seen all day had finally appeared, parked in front of the apartment building.
“You fucking stalker bastard!”
I immediately raised my voice and pounded hard on the passenger-side door. I didn’t care that the apartment doorman was staring. I was just about to start kicking it too when I heard the lock click open from inside.
At the exceedingly plain invitation, I responded by opening the door immediately.
I got in and glared at Eden.
A calm atmosphere surrounded him.
It felt like he existed in a completely different world from me, who was nearly hysterical.
“Hi.”
The casual greeting twisted my insides in irritation. Even seeing me furious like a wild colt didn’t shake him. Apparently the moans I’d deliberately fed into the wiretap yesterday hadn’t affected him at all either.
It was infuriating and humiliating.
What if I stripped naked in front of him right now?
I imagined flaunting my firm muscles and smooth skin. Grabbing my heavy cock in my hand, stroking it hard until it stood erect and swung there—
Eden would probably just pull my pants back up for me.
Fuck.
Saintly bastard.
After living abstinently for years, you’ve probably become a eunuch.
Even cursing him with malice didn’t improve my mood. I touched the crooked corner of my mouth while raising my middle finger straight at him.
“That’s a pretty original greeting.”
“If that looks like a greeting to you, maybe you should get new glasses.”
At my brusque reply, Eden calmly said he would. He looked like he was brushing it off because arguing with me would be tiresome.
“You’re already unbelievably irritating, and I’m still deciding what to criticize first, so don’t make my list any longer.”
Again, Eden’s attitude was receptive.
He obediently closed his mouth and simply accepted my gaze. The shadows cast over his beautiful face sharpened his expressionless look.
It doesn’t suit you.
You look much better when you smile.
Especially when you look at me and smile like you can’t help yourself.
But right now, he looked like someone whose facial muscles had frozen solid, incapable of expressing emotion. It was almost strange that his emerald eyes hadn’t lost their color, because the rest of him felt utterly monochrome.
Boring. Dull.
And yet he still drew my eyes, which only made me resent him more. My grudge swelled instantly, like a snowball rolling through a winter field until it became large enough to trigger an avalanche.
Today. Right now. At this exact moment. Our relationship might collapse completely.
I accepted that premonition humbly and opened my mouth.
“You’re a smart idiot. You’ve got a good memory, but your thinking skills are garbage. Flowers? A letter? I don’t even need the nice jacket you definitely didn’t choose with your own taste. I won’t ask how you got through security and made it to my front door. I just don’t want birthday wishes from you, so take it back.”
After listening quietly, Eden slowly scratched at his eyebrow.
“If you don’t need it, throw it away.”
