His chest muscles were more developed than I’d imagined, and his frame was fairly broad. His pale skin matched what I’d pictured in my head, but I’d never expected his nipples to be such a pretty pink.
The more I looked at him, the harder it became to endure. I realized with painful clarity just how intense the longing and desire inside me truly were. I wanted to find out how soft the skin before my eyes was. I wanted to lick every corner of him and taste him with my tongue.
As I swallowed greedily, Eden guided me toward the bed.
I obediently let him lay me down and looked up at him. Pulling his arms free from the shirt he’d only half removed, he leaned over me as though pouring himself onto my body. Exposing his beautiful physique, Eden muttered quietly,
“This is a problem. You really are…….”
Though he was clearly referring to me, it sounded almost like he was talking to himself.
So I answered only in my mind.
Am I the one putting you in a difficult position? Somehow that feels… mm, nice. Thrilling. I think it’d be okay if you got into even more trouble because of me. I want your face to turn red because of me. I want you to grow so hot you can’t handle it. And for your heart to pound like crazy. The way mine is right now.
I tried to touch his chest because I wanted to feel his heartbeat, but Eden stopped me. Though the hand gripping my wrist wasn’t using much force, it still felt unyielding.
“Slowly.”
“You’re the one who doesn’t seem capable of that.”
As I reached out again toward his chest, my eyes lifted to his face. The place my gaze lingered longest was his lips.
The plump flesh I’d bitten and sucked until it glistened wetly.
That lush, fruit-like redness.
I followed the small twitch of movement while listening to his voice.
“Somerset. Are you getting swept away by me?”
Eden asked cautiously.
Though his attitude made that caution seem pointless when he showed no sign whatsoever of backing away.
“What are you trying to say?”
“That you’re simply moving wherever your body leads you, and I’m the one controlling you?”
Even his tone was refined. Only the emerald color in his eyes flickered vividly.
“If that’s the case, think carefully about whether you really want to accept me. If you think you’ll regret it later—”
“I won’t. Something like that.”
I didn’t need thought or regret. Moving however my body wanted was the most honest reaction possible.
A pure desire without impurities.
And to think Eden didn’t understand such a simple formula that even I knew.
What a useless smartass.
If I want you and you want me, then that’s enough.
What else could possibly be necessary?
“Did you forget why you’re here? Why you came looking for me this early in the morning?”
I shook off Eden’s loosened grip and placed my hand against his chest. Pressing my palm over his cute-looking nipple, I focused on the vibrations beneath the soft flesh.
Annoyingly enough, his heartbeat was calmer than mine.
“You know the answer. Say it. Hmm? Stop pretending you don’t.”
Unable to resist my urging, Eden finally spoke.
“Because you kissed me.”
“Right. Exactly.”
I’d kissed Eden’s forehead, and before the effect of that kiss could fade away, he’d come to confront me about it.
“Who was it that ran away yesterday?”
“Me.”
“And today’s you feels like a completely different person.”
“Maybe.”
After all, yesterday’s me had run away leaving you behind, but today’s me regretted not grabbing your hand and running all the way home through Central Park together.
If we’d kissed desperately while gasping for breath, maybe it would’ve felt as though only you and I existed in the entire world.
Secretly, I wanted that.
“How long are we going to keep talking?”
I hadn’t said it to provoke Eden.
I was genuinely curious, and I wanted an answer.
“If you want, all day.”
“All day doing this and only using our mouths to talk? I want to use mine for something else.”
Not talking.
I wanted to suck on you.
I wanted to enjoy the feeling of devouring you.
A strange desire swirled inside me, one I’d never experienced toward anyone else before.
I didn’t hide that craving, and Eden willingly answered it.
Without either of us making the first move, we lunged at each other and greedily stole breaths from one another. Our lips clung together like suction cups, rubbing frantically.
Even though we kissed roughly enough to worry our tongues might wear raw, Eden’s touch remained incredibly gentle. He brushed back my tangled hair and softly caressed my face.
“Open your mouth. That’s right, breathe like that.”
“Hah, haa.”
“Good job.”
“What about you?”
“Me too, of course. Haa… I’m doing well too.”
Unlike me, panting breathlessly, Eden seemed fairly relaxed.
That irritated me, but not enough to push him away.
Instead, I clung to him while rolling around on the bed.
Reversing our positions, I climbed on top and lowered my gaze while kneading his chest.
“Your heart… feels like it’s going to burst.”
It made the composure he’d shown earlier feel like a lie. I could clearly feel his heartbeat pounding frighteningly hard.
Looking faintly embarrassed, he furrowed his eyes slightly while stroking my waist.
“If it bursts, call 911 for me.”
“I’ll carry you to the emergency room myself.”
Though my own heart would probably burst too, and we’d both end up getting hauled away in an ambulance.
I lowered my body and pounced on Eden.
I remember the temperature of his arms as he embraced me as though he’d been waiting for it.
I remember him stroking the back of my neck and whispering into my ear.
“Yesterday’s kiss wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t some unfortunate accident either. I wanted it too.”
After that day, Eden became faithful to my invitations.
Still, not once did he ever ask first whether he could come see me.
Even so, I never thought our relationship was one-sided. Because he was kind to me.
When we watched movies together, he held my hand. Sometimes he’d stare at me as though I were adorable before suddenly flinching. One night, he even stayed awake talking to me for over two hours because I couldn’t sleep.
Eden had wanted my kiss. He had wanted me.
That remained true even after he vanished without warning and let the past fade away.
Even now, as I masturbated while consciously letting him hear through the wiretap just to toy with him, that truth hadn’t changed.
“What’s the point now? It’s meaningless.”
Pulling myself together before my heart could sink into emptiness, I roughly wiped away the damp mess with my shirt. Still feeling sticky and unpleasant, I threw my clothes back on and stood there blankly for a moment.
Somehow, I felt exhausted.
***
The weather was absurdly beautiful.
The cloudless morning sky stretched over Chelsea while gently kneading the shoulders of young artists who’d started their day early and diligently.
The reason I’d chosen a place in Chelsea when I moved out of the family home on the Upper East Side was because I’d fallen for a real estate agent’s persuasion.
Dressed in an impeccably stylish suit that inspired confidence, he’d decorated a fairly decent apartment listing with every flowery phrase imaginable while sweet-talking the naive rich son of a wealthy family.
“Artists should live where art breathes and lives.”
More than anything else, that sentence had sealed the deal.
At the time, I’d just started working as a fashion model after a massive fight with my mother, rebelling against her insistence that I study asset management professionally.
Sitting at a desk obsessing over money calculations or putting on false airs in high society while laughing politely didn’t suit me constitutionally.
Then as now, I hated boredom and despised hypocrisy.
Soon, a dignified luxury sedan stopped in front of me. Before the chauffeur could step out and open the door, I got into the car on my own.
The woman waiting for me in the limousine-like spacious back seat looked perfectly put together today as well.
Her voluminous hair gleamed beautifully, and even the smile on her nearly wrinkle-free face looked meticulously refined.
Her appearance looked remarkably young, yet the maturity in her attitude and clothing made her seem anywhere from her early thirties to mid-forties.
In reality, she was older than that and had a fully grown son.
“Hi, Mom.”
I raised a hand in greeting and removed my sunglasses, slipping them into my jacket pocket. After giving me a quick once-over, my mother shook her head slightly.
“Wear your shoes properly.”
“They’re designed so you can step on the backs.”
“You can also wear them without crushing them. A gentleman should remain composed unless it’s an emergency situation requiring him to protect a lady. Surely my son doesn’t lack even the most basic manners.”
“Maybe I have no intention of becoming a gentleman.”
I grumbled as if talking about someone else and fixed the backs of my shoes upright. I simply didn’t want to waste energy arguing back and forth. My mother’s etiquette lessons had always been tiresome.
“Did you meet Mr. Beaufort safely?”
“I only heard that he came by New York. If it weren’t for you, I’d have no reason to spare that man any of my time.”
“That’s true enough. Ah, I greeted you late. Jonas, it’s been a while. Have you been well?”
Seated in the passenger seat, Secretary Jonas Lee turned around and returned my greeting with a faint smile.
Having known him since childhood, he felt more like an old friend or a familiar neighborhood uncle. Even my mother, who normally kept her distance from servants, was especially close to Jonas.
“Well, it’s been so long that maybe Jonas forgot your face.”
“Mom, are you indirectly saying you missed me?”
“Don’t twist my words. Just take them as they are.”
“I knew it. Jonas, I’ll send you a picture so you won’t forget this handsome face. I’ve got a photoshoot where I look incredible. Use it as your phone wallpaper.”
Jonas narrowed his eyes and silently refused with a wink.
Not that I’d been serious anyway.
“Don’t bother Jonas.”
“Yes, Mom.”
“When are you going to stop speaking like a child?”
“You didn’t call me here just to nag me today, right?”
When I pretended to cover my ears, my mother gestured toward me at Jonas as if to say, Look at this boy.
She told me not to speak like a child, yet she was treating me like one.
