54
You Don’t Have to Believe
Where did that black hair that reached his waist go?
Sebastian with short blonde hair seemed so unfamiliar that he didn’t look like the person who used to manage my body as if it were his own. Even facing him naked felt uncomfortable.
And those blue eyes, no less.
Of course, I knew his eyes were blue, but seeing those blue eyes set in that white face was an incredibly strange sensation.
It felt as if my lover’s race had changed overnight.
While I was stammering, not knowing what to say, Sebastian strode over. As he approached me, he snatched a towel from beside the sink and started drying me off as soon as he reached me.
“What about Ms. Efroy?”
“I sent her away. I thought you’d be like this.”
His voice and manner of speaking were indeed Sebastian’s. There was a faint smell of chemicals from his body. Probably from whatever he used on his hair.
“Did you bleach it?”
“Aa.”
Sebastian answered shortly. Not even a “yeah,” but an “aa.” That nonchalant response was absurd. Why did the world-renowned Oriental lover suddenly revert his hair color? He even cut it short.
“Why?”
As he knelt in front of me, wiping between my legs, my genitals, and even my legs and toes, Sebastian calmly replied.
“I no longer wanted to be that man.”
“That man?”
“Lee Shin-yeon’s lover.”
Sebastian said it so casually, but for a moment I was speechless. So Lee Shin-yeon had a lover. What a homme fatale, receiving all this love.
On the other hand, I felt a pang of sympathy. To think that Sebastian had grown his hair and worn dark contact lenses all this time just to look like Lee Shin-yeon’s lover. To want to have the appearance that Lee Shin-yeon loved. I’ve never heard of such a desperate and melancholic love.
Without realizing it, I bent down and hugged Sebastian.
“Don’t grow your hair or dye it again. You have…”
Is it okay to say you have me?
Will our relationship continue after all this is over?
I have a job that requires frequent business trips, and from what I can see, Sebastian has some issues with affection deprivation and possessiveness. The fact that we’re both men won’t be without its problems either. Sebastian said it wouldn’t be an issue in his family, but is that really true? And in my family, it’s definitely a problem. My father and brothers would faint.
Also, we live in such different worlds. Right now, we have a common enemy and goal, so we can unite with one mind, but can we do that when we don’t have any of that?
Aren’t relationships outside of family just temporary, coming together for a while and then passing by each other when that time is over? Will it be like that with Sebastian too?
When I couldn’t continue my words, Sebastian pushed me away slightly and stood up. He tilted his head slightly as he looked at me and smirked.
“You have me. So I no longer need Lee Shin-yeon or ‘that man’.”
“…”
“You get scared at strange things. I’m going to get engaged to you and marry you. Did you really think you could sleep with Sebastian Riegel and pretend nothing happened?”
Looking up at him as he spoke half-jokingly, half-seriously, I laughed too.
You’re over thirty, and I’m almost thirty too. We know that relationships can’t be formed by feelings alone anymore. We’re at an age where we know that if we can’t say goodbye with a smile at the right time, the ending will be bitter and leave a bad aftertaste. Yet you speak of eternity like a boy. Usually, you’re clever and I’m stupid, but whenever we talk about these things, I become the cunning bastard and you become the most innocent prince in the world.
“Don’t make that face.”
“What face?”
“A face full of self-loathing.”
I was momentarily at a loss for words. I was standing with my back to the bathroom window. With the backlight, Sebastian probably couldn’t see my face well. But Sebastian’s face was all too clear to me. The thin rays of sunlight coming through the wooden blinds. Those rays made Sebastian sparkle so brightly it hurt my eyes. Unlike me in the darkness.
“I don’t hesitate or back down. So try to trust me a little, will you?”
Do I not trust Sebastian? Sebastian, seeing my eyes, lowered his head. When I closed my eyes, his blessing-like kisses fell on my eyes. On the left eye, and on the right.
“But I think it’s kind of cute how you struggle so hard not to believe. I think I might have an Armin Schnieke-denying-he’s-in-love fetish.”
Sebastian giggled. It’s my salvation that he doesn’t get hurt by someone like me. I was finally able to smile too.
There was no time for breakfast. Sebastian insisted that even if we didn’t eat, he had to dry my hair. He was exactly the same as usual. He applied unidentifiable cosmetics to my face and body. Then, while drying my hair, he naturally styled it with a dryer and applied wax to fix today’s hairstyle. The hairstyle he chose for me today was slicked-back hair. With that, a dark gray suit and leather sneakers. I smiled a little when he tied my shoelaces. It was a bit funny how he tied the knots like someone from SAAD.
“How did you get to know Mr. Kouri?”
I was a bit curious. Sebastian and Kouri, it’s not a very matching combination. How did they become so close?
“He’s Martina’s husband.”
“Martina?”
“My cousin.”
Ah, so that’s how the blood ties connect. But Martina didn’t seem that rich. How could someone who uses 140 Leed handkerchiefs be rich? You can’t even buy a cup of coffee in the downtown area with that money.
I thought most relatives lived similarly, so it was strange that there was such a large wealth gap between relatives. But it was someone else’s family matter, so I just nodded. As Sebastian led me out of the room, he continued.
“My father is treated as an oddball in many ways in the Riegel family. He’s the only one who’s made money so well. Of course, there was a time when my father tried to help his relatives too… but it only became an opportunity for him to realize that half-hearted help ruins people. So he distanced himself from his relatives, and the Riegel family hates both our father and us siblings. Enough to want to write an autobiography to badmouth us.”
It seems someone in the Riegel family had written an autobiography targeting Sebastian’s father. Not knowing what to say, I just nodded. I know that for some people, family can be worse than strangers. But for me, family has always been the priority. I was really happy when I had a family.
As Sebastian and I came out into the hallway, the waiting bodyguards followed. We exchanged eye greetings with them and started climbing the stairs.
“Martina was a college student when her uncle wrote and published his autobiography. She meticulously refuted her uncle’s lies on a website. Her uncle was furious that his daughter had rebelled against him. Martina, for her part, was angry that her uncle had taken money from our father and then betrayed him by writing an autobiography to make more money when he didn’t give him even more, selling his privacy to make money. The autobiography included stories not just about my father, but also about Martina. It was written that Martina had been sexually abused by our father when she was young. It seems her uncle thought a little exaggeration was okay if he could get money, but Martina’s position, having become a sexual crime victim in front of the whole nation, was completely different, so they had a huge fight. In the end, Martina was kicked out and was about to have to quit college because she had no tuition. That’s when my father paid for Martina’s tuition. Well, it wasn’t much, just tuition and rent. He told her to figure out the rest on her own. My father was quite tired of his relatives at that time.”
Understandably so. Wow, he falsely accused him of sexually abusing his young niece? Sebastian even has a younger sister, doesn’t he?
The means were dirtier than I could have imagined. I was surprised that an ordinary person could be so malicious, but Sebastian’s expression was calm.
“Martina graduated from college while earning her living expenses through part-time jobs. My father sent Martina to study abroad. There, Martina met Kouri and got married, and through the teachers Kouri carefully selected, I learned self-defense. Then, four years ago, something happened, and that’s how Kouri came to be in charge of my security directly.”
“So the two of them are…”
“Relatives, I suppose you could say.”
At Sebastian’s words, Kouri shook his head.
“Not relatives. Martina doesn’t like that kind of talk either.”
I think I understood. They had hurt each other too much within the category of relatives. So it’s better to live as strangers. Somewhere between employee and employer, or friends or sympathizers.
That’s why Martina worries about Sebastian, and Sebastian can readily hand over his card to Martina when she loses just one handkerchief, telling her to buy whatever she wants. No wonder their relationship seemed too close for an employer and employee.
“So that’s why you gave her the card.”
As I nodded, Nakaban, who was walking behind us, interjected with a “No.”
“That card of Mr. Riegel’s is almost public property. My father has used it once too.”
What? I cautiously began, “Perhaps your father and Sebastian…” but Nakaban answered firmly.
“They’re not related.”
“Then why?”
“They’re close.”
“Who is?”
“My father and Mr. Riegel.”
How come? No, which Mr. Riegel is he close with?
Seeing my confused face, Sebastian grinned.
“Ah, Ulrich’s meat is delicious. The meat you eat every day is from his shop.”
Who’s Ulrich?
Seeing my bewildered face, Nakaban explained.
“Ulrich Nakaban. He’s my father, and he runs our butcher shop. Mr. Riegel often comes to our butcher shop saying our meat is the most delicious, and they became close as he asked about this and that. There was a time when Mr. Riegel used to cook for himself, so he would personally purchase ingredients then.”
I don’t understand at all. The more I know about Sebastian, the less I understand. Why is a chaebol like you friends with a butcher shop owner…?
As I was blinking in complete incomprehension, we reached the rooftop. The youngest bodyguard opened the door with a bang. And what we saw was a helicopter.
Sebastian took my hand and pulled me.
“Let’s go.”
Just as I thought he was unexpectedly down-to-earth, now we’re traveling by helicopter. It somehow became amusing. Of course, there’s a helipad at the headquarters. But I could bet my entire fortune that the Director would hate it if she knew Sebastian was coming by helicopter.
For some reason, I felt like laughing. All of this was just fun.
“Yeah, let’s go!”
We’ll just go, whatever happens!
