47
I Will Repay This Debt With Anything
Sebastian stood up as if the business was finished and left the room. August Kuno stared blankly at Sebastian. It was the typical face of a loser. As he watched Sebastian leave with a dazed expression, his subordinates who were pointing guns at us could only watch us leave without doing anything.
Kouri’s subordinate closed the room door. We were able to put away our guns only when we got on the elevator.
“That was amazing.”
I sincerely admired. Sebastian, I thought you were just born with a silver spoon, but to think you could be this bold! As I looked at him in amazement, Sebastian asked gruffly.
“Weren’t you upset?”
“Why would I be?”
“I exposed your identity and used you without even telling you.”
What is he talking about? I blinked.
“It was for my sake, wasn’t it? If you had asked for my cooperation beforehand, I couldn’t have cooperated. That’s not something I could have agreed to.”
At my words, Sebastian made a strange expression, just like in the car. A face that seemed both moved and sad, indescribable.
Is it Lee Shin-yeon again? You bastard, it’s not right to keep thinking about your first love in front of someone else.
I wanted to say that, but his expression was so wistful that I couldn’t speak. Am I the type to be a pushover in relationships?
We were careful again while moving from the elevator to the lobby. As if someone had contacted them as we left the room, our three cars were lined up outside the lobby, and a passing child pointed at us.
“It’s the mafia!”
Shush, shush, shush, a woman who seemed to be the mother quickly picked up the child and ran to the hotel entrance. Suddenly turned into mafia, I, a current public servant, Kouri, a former public servant, and Sebastian, the son of a banking family, all couldn’t hide our indignation as we watched the mother’s back. Then the child, held by his mother and facing us directly, shouted, “Mom! The mafia uncles are looking at us!” The child’s mother screamed, “Shush!!! I told you to be quiet!” and fled into the hotel.
“Wow, shit. I’ve beaten up mafia bastards before, but…”
As I muttered, Kouri agreed with me, saying, “My thoughts exactly.” We’ve both put mafia guys behind bars before, but to be called mafia ourselves!
Nakaban, with a cold face, pushed through us who were still in shock and opened the door of the central vehicle.
“Don’t be so seriously shocked by a child’s words. Let’s go, Mr. Riegel. I’m not talking to Mr. Riegel. It’s because there are some dark-looking people here.”
Sebastian is the darkest among us! His long hair down to his waist is black, his eyes are black, and his clothes are black!
It seemed I wasn’t the only one thinking that, as I could see a hint of rebellion in everyone’s eyes. But when Sebastian said, “Is that so?” and looked around once, they quickly erased their rebellious thoughts and nodded enthusiastically with bright smiles.
These sycophants! Indignation welled up, but as always, the final destination of that gaze was me, and…
I ended up becoming one of those sycophants too. Maybe even the most enthusiastic one.
Back home, when I asked how he knew August Kuno was a straw man, Sebastian chuckled and said,
“The most suspicious point was that most of Canaris’s members were exposed. It wasn’t to the extent of media exposure, but it wasn’t difficult to find out. Probably even for the Security Bureau, the personal information of Canaris’s executives wasn’t particularly secret, right?”
That was true. And some executives’ identities were exposed in the media. Some were caught and became known, others became known and then were caught. Of course, there were some who weren’t caught.
“The Security Bureau has been constantly catching Canaris executives. They’ve been doing that for almost 20 years, but Canaris is still strong and executives are continuously supplied. Is that possible?”
Oh, now that I hear it?
“It doesn’t make sense that the organization is still solid when so many executives are dying. Moreover, unlike what’s known to the public, Uncle Yudorov isn’t even in this country anymore, so who is keeping that group solid? From the beginning, those known as executives weren’t actually executives, and they move secretly without ever showing their faces or participating in operations, that makes sense.”
That’s right?
Somehow… I thought they were like cockroaches, never-ending no matter how many we caught, but was there really a separate headquarters?
Suddenly, a strange thought occurred to me. Wouldn’t the Security Bureau people have had this same thought as Sebastian? If not others, at least our director? Andrea Dill isn’t that kind of person. I’m not part of the brain trust, so I don’t know how smart and meticulous Andrea Dill is, but according to the evaluations I’ve heard, she was said to have been born discussing plots and schemes from her mother’s womb, so it’s impossible that she missed something like this.
Then why is she watching all this happen?
An unpleasant premonition crawled up my spine. What if she had noticed all this situation? What if she was watching despite knowing?
Jay is dead.
Did Walter survive? He was on the run, but maybe he’s dead by now.
The rest of them are likely dead.
My survival was a coincidence. I was probably supposed to die originally too.
If she, as the director, was just watching this… It’s unforgivable. If she was behind this, she must pay the price even more.
I don’t know what to do.
Many people say that for revenge, you should be willing to throw your life into burning flames. But I’m not sure if that’s revenge. I’ve seen such forms of revenge a few times in this industry, but… to me, it looked more like self-harm than revenge. Whether the revenge was achieved while alive or dead, whether it succeeded or failed, in the end, the expressions left were all empty.
I don’t like that. I want to live well and eat well with Sebastian. But I can’t live well and eat well without even closing the eyes of my dead comrades. I don’t have such great self-esteem.
“You’re making a scary face.”
Sebastian pointed out. Then he started undressing me. What’s this? I let him undress me. Somehow, all of this has become his pleasure and right. These days, I haven’t even chosen my own underwear freely.
“Not really.”
“You look like you want to blow someone’s head off.”
“Just one?”
If I could, I’d like to blow off the heads of everyone involved in this. Even if I did, would it be any consolation for the resentment and grief of my comrades?
I’m trying not to think about it. I deliberately erase the negative thoughts that boil in my head every day. Otherwise, I can’t live on. I can’t maintain my condition. If I get buried in emotions, I can’t take revenge or solve anything.
But knowing and doing are truly different, and sometimes I feel like I’m going to go crazy. To be specific, at times like this. While I’m trying my best to suppress myself to not run away, Sebastian, as if he noticed, completely stripped off all my clothes, leaving me naked. And as he led me into the bathroom, the bathtub was already filled with water.
Someone once said that emotions are water-soluble.
As I submerged myself up to the tip of my nose in the rose-scented water, I could feel the hard, protruding emotions melting a little.
“Is Michael’s treason charge resolved now?”
When I asked to confirm, Sebastian, who was rolling up his shirt sleeves, smiled bitterly.
“No way. It’s just a stopgap measure.”
“…”
“We need to push when this is effective. We need to draw out everything we want.”
Sebastian’s wet hand gently stroked my head. I felt like his dog or cat. A beloved pet. In my next life, I should be born as Sebastian’s cat or something. He seems like he would lavish affection on a small animal that can’t communicate. I’ll become a well-fed cat, waiting for him to return, and when he does, I’ll act coy to eat canned tuna.
Human life is too tiring. It seems there are separate people who manage such a life well. People like Sebastian.
When I didn’t say anything, Sebastian gently caressed my body. The gesture, which didn’t have even a hint of sexual nuance, was soft.
“What do you want from Canaris? You’ve only said you want to approach Canaris, but you’ve never clearly stated what you want.”
“A Security Bureau employee infiltrated Canaris and lost contact. The Security Bureau is… thinking of unfavorable situations.”
Code name White Sparrow. Her name during the operation, Lea Parke.
But in reality, she’s a tall black woman, 173cm. She’s an operative assigned to Department 2, and most of her career has been overseas. The fact that they called in a top-level agent from overseas indicates the difficulty of the operation that White Sparrow was deployed for.
“I see.”
Sebastian didn’t offer useless consolations like ‘It’ll be okay’ or ‘She’ll return safely.’
“I need to find her. That’s my mission.”
“Do you know her name?”
“I do, but I can’t say. I’m sorry, but,”
“It’s beyond your authority. I understand. So don’t make that face.”
Sebastian flicked the water surface. He smiled playfully as he shot a thin stream of water at my cheek. Then he asked, “Want some water?” and I nodded.
While he was out, I thought about Lea Parke. If that agent is lucky, she’ll be isolated; if unlucky, she’ll be dead; if even more unlucky, she might be being tortured.
As I bit my lip, Sebastian placed a stand over the bathtub. Then he put water and a mobile phone on it.
“Get confirmation from someone with authority. I’m going to demand that agent’s personal information from Canaris.”
“How?”
“I’ll demand it as proof of trust.”
They already know that I, a Security Bureau agent, am in Sebastian’s grasp. And Sebastian assured them. That he could control me. And that’s partly true. It’s true that I’m a Security Bureau employee, but it’s Sebastian who’s safely taking care of my father and siblings. I owe him. I’m in no position to refuse even if he asks me to bring him the heads of all the Canaris bastards.
Thinking about it that way, it’s not me who’s the pushover in this relationship, it’s him, isn’t it? To put it bluntly, all I’ve done for him is pretend not to notice when he’s thinking about Lee Shin-yeon. But how many times has he saved me now?
“Sebastian Riegel.”
Sebastian, who was about to step aside so I could make the call, stopped abruptly.
“Yes?”
“Anything, tell me anything.”
“What?”
“Tell me anything I can do. I’m serious.”
Sebastian looked at my face and smiled.
“Anything?”
“Yes, anything.”
“You look so solemn. …I’ll keep that in mind.”
Sebastian didn’t ask why I was saying such things, or how far I could go, or anything like that. He just smiled gently as if looking at a child and left the bathroom.
