116
Because I Was Born as a Curse Itself
Richard recalled his son as he watched the excited children. More precisely, his son Armin, and his older brother Lee Shin-yeon.
He had realized quite a long time ago that Armin and Lee Shin-yeon were different people. What was regrettable at the moment of realization was why Lee Shin-yeon wasn’t as strong as Armin. Oh, of course, Lee Shin-yeon was strong. He was composed even when he went to Seosohwanji, even when he bore the disgrace of being the Emperor’s male concubine. Whatever his inner feelings might have been, he appeared to have no problems outwardly.
But Lee Se-yeon’s insides were rotting. She felt like she would go mad thinking that her other self would live like that for his entire life because of her. Even after becoming the queen of a foreign country, she thought of Shin-yeon every day. She calculated and thought every day about how to save him. How to safely extract him from the Emperor’s hands. After thinking about it every moment for about ten years, she did come up with two or three good ideas. However, those thoughts always encountered one problem.
Lee Shin-yeon didn’t want it.
So until her death, Lee Se-yeon regretted but could not extract Lee Shin-yeon from that treacherous mud. Because the thoroughly sullied Lee Shin-yeon was smiling happily, looking up at the unreachable sun.
What about Armin?
First, he wouldn’t have endured it. Being as clueless as Lee Shin-yeon, it might have taken him some time to understand, but once he did, his fists would have flown immediately.
Richard chuckled as he recalled Armin as a child.
Armin was a child who thought that when fighting with friends, naturally, fists should come out first. And if fighting with fists, he thought he should kill the opponent. Because that’s the kind of place he lived in. He had to teach such a child multiple times. This is not Urnan where you live. Here, there are at least minimal laws.
Armin started to restrain himself after he saw neighborhood people taking Richard’s side when Richard was attacked by thugs on the street one day. Something unimaginable in Urnan happened, and only then did Armin seem to realize that the world he had lived in and the world he was now beginning to live in were completely different places.
Once he adapted, Armin generally chose to take a few hits if it wasn’t about his brothers. From Armin’s perspective, peers were fragile herbivores. Since they were too young and weak for a large animal like himself to hunt, he just finished everything by either taking a few hits or simply subduing them.
But if the situation crossed the line too much, he revealed how dangerous a person he was to ensure that the opponent would never show hostility toward him lightly again. Although Armin was a small, thin Asian, no one dared to say things like “male prostitute” in front of him.
How wonderful it would have been if Lee Shin-yeon could have done the same?
He was a martial officer who handled swords. And he lived in an era where people wore swords. If Lee Shin-yeon had ever displayed his physical prowess, would anyone have dared to mention him as a male prostitute in front of him or his father?
If Armin had been in Lee Shin-yeon’s situation, he would have made everyone realize through several acts of cutting that there are things one should never say. Whether he cut people up or performed a live human dismemberment show, no one could hold him accountable. Who could step forward to the Emperor and say, “The person who called your cousin and lover a male prostitute was butchered, so please punish the criminal”? At that time, Wu Gi-ryeon was an object of admiration and fear. Rather than coming forward, there was absolutely no one who could stand before the Emperor with the request to kill Lee Shin-yeon.
It would have been simpler then.
But that’s Armin Schnieke, not Lee Shin-yeon. Lee Shin-yeon is not that kind of person.
So the two have different souls with the same essence. Perhaps Armin doesn’t possess all of Lee Shin-yeon’s soul. He might have half or maybe just 20%. But even if he has only 1%, how could I pretend not to know him?
Richard still couldn’t forget when he first saw Armin in Urnan. That expressionless face, tightly closed mouth. Those eyes that risked everything to protect the father who had sold him were clearly Lee Shin-yeon’s. The moment he saw that image, Richard’s heart crumbled. Why are you like this again? Why are you doing this even to someone who isn’t worth it? Why do you always risk your life for someone? Can’t you live for yourself? Is it absolutely impossible? He wanted to grab the child by the collar and scream.
Richard shifted his gaze to the TV the children were watching.
Sebastian Riegel, eldest son of Riegel Group Chairman, announces marriage. Partner is an ordinary person Mr. S from the Security Bureau.
Saying “an ordinary person Mr. S from the Security Bureau” while naturally using Armin’s footage in the archive, that’s Rotman’s level of human rights.
Armin was more beautiful than ever. Of course, objectively speaking, he had the most handsome appearance of his life. Sebastian must be taking care of him. Well, even in his past life, the Emperor managed everything for Lee Shin-yeon. Lee Shin-yeon probably never imagined what level of luxury he was experiencing until his death. He lived his entire life just looking at the Emperor, ignoring both insults and luxury. It was a simple and straightforward life. Compared to him, Armin knew what he was enjoying. Nevertheless, Armin’s face was full of happiness. Unlike Lee Shin-yeon, who stood neatly behind the Emperor, Armin was smiling while being held in Sebastian’s arms.
Judging by the angle of the video, the paparazzi didn’t hide themselves. They filmed with cameras boldly raised right in front, yet Armin was happy without minding. Sebastian seemed annoyed by the paparazzi, but when Armin whispered something, he soon smiled. The two displayed an uninhibited, boyish smile that seemed somewhat inappropriate for those in their late twenties or early thirties.
Come to think of it, even the Emperor had never smiled like that in his past life.
“In the next life.”
Richard mumbled very softly. It might be better not to say these words. Somehow, it felt like once these words were spoken, they couldn’t be taken back. After a moment of contemplation, Richard opened his mouth.
“Let’s not meet from the next life onwards. Let’s say this is the end.”
Now I’ll believe you’re happy. So from the next life onwards, I’ll also live that life completely for myself.
Richard laughed lightly. Looking outside the window, the world was bright.
Contrary to Richard’s thoughts, Armin was more troubled than happy.
“Really, really thank you. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to thank you. I could give you all my wealth. Tell me if you need anything. I’ll do something.”
Already several people, whose faces he had never seen before, were grabbing Armin’s hands and bursting into tears. Every time he went out on the street, someone would grab Armin and cry like this. Although he knew it was an expression of gratitude, Armin felt very uncomfortable. He had been in the Security Bureau for several years. He felt guilty thinking that these people suffered because he couldn’t catch Canaris. While he was either lacking in ability or just living as a civil servant doing what he was told, these people lost family members or parts of their bodies. In some cases, both.
If he had worked harder, could he have received fewer of these thank-yous?
Reporters also kept following him wherever he went.
“Mr. Armin Schnieke? I heard you were assigned to the Special Counterintelligence Department of the Security Bureau. Then can we assume that your meeting with Mr. Riegel began as business cooperation?”
I can’t answer. At first, I answered all such questions without thinking. I thought it was okay to answer since I was now a civilian. But every time I spoke, my words spread with all sorts of exaggerated meanings, so now—
“This is Mr. Schnieke’s private life.”
Birde Efroy was sticking close to me. I didn’t say anything unless she permitted it. I couldn’t. It was a situation where I couldn’t know what kind of butterfly effect my single word would create, eventually turning into a storm. Rotman was broadcasting follow-up reports on Canaris every day, and journalists from around the world were gathering in Lumaier.
“You should respect the public’s right to know. And weren’t you clearly meeting during the Holy Grail Project, a Canaris arrest operation when you were a civil servant? If you met during official duties, how is it private life?!”
“No, that’s—”
Just as I was about to say that the Holy Grail Project wasn’t like that and we didn’t meet during official duties, my foot was stepped on. Ouch, high heels. Ow, ow. My instep got stamped!
Of course, Efroy didn’t stamp my instep with the intention of crushing it. But still, they were killer heels. It hurts, hurts, hurts. What’s more painful is that I can’t show that it hurts in this situation. I was looking at the cameras with an expressionless face while inwardly hopping up and down holding my instep.
Efroy told me not to look at cameras, but I didn’t feel like doing that. I didn’t want to be photographed as if I were fleeing like a criminal. Why should I? My face was already sold, and those who hold grudges against me would come after me anyway. But the most dangerous ones were already eliminated at the engagement party, and the rest aren’t really a concern, so it’s fine. It was only dangerous back then, not so much now.
Looking through the internet, I found that the actress who had rumors with Sebastian in the past was still talking about him. I raised my face to emphasize, “Look straight at me. His lover has changed.”
It’s me. He’s going to marry me. He’s mine. I’ve claimed him.
The surroundings were chaotic. I newly admired people who are stars. How do they endure and live in such situations? They’re all amazing. While I was inwardly clicking my tongue, one reporter bumped into someone in a wheelchair.
“Ah, if you’re a leg cripple, you should just stay buried at home!”
Next to that person stood the woman who had just told me she could give me all her wealth. She was a victim of Canaris.
Maybe I had been holding back. Yes, I must have been. Something in my head made a snapping sound. I ran to the reporter and grabbed his collar in one swift motion. I’ll make sure you get told to stay buried at home too. I had every intention of doing that, and I had the ability to do so. I heard Efroy calling my name, but it was very distant. Bastards like this need to be hit. They need to become the vulnerable ones themselves. That’s the only way, the only way…
“Armin!”
Amid all the sounds that blended together, a single voice pierced through all the noise and reached my ears like an arrow. When I turned my head, Sebastian was standing there. As always perfectly dressed, he looked at me and smiled gently. As if nothing had happened.
I almost thought “I guess nothing happened” because of his face. But everyone around was looking at me with pale faces. It didn’t seem like nothing had happened.
Sebastian walked briskly over and slowly made me release my grip on the reporter’s collar. The reporter slumped to the ground.
“Armin, what are you doing here?”
“…”
“Don’t be angry, let’s go.”
The sunlight was full behind Sebastian. He was so beautiful and vivid, yet somehow distant. I looked around. The streets of Lumaier in broad daylight. People were looking at me with frightened eyes. Even in the eyes of the woman who had just offered me all her wealth, there was a clear sign of avoidance. I probably looked like a madman.
Can I really live in a world where people don’t kill, don’t hit, have no guns, don’t torture, a world without the smell of blood? The truth is, I’ve never lived in such a world. Having lived in Urnan, then struggling to protect the cathedral in Romberg’s slums, and joining the Security Bureau because I needed money—I never had a bright world.
I look at Sebastian again. The prince whose curse has been lifted.
And I realize. That I was born as the curse itself.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
